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Beauty and the Beast
Beauty and the Beast

Episode 24 · 1 year ago

Episode 24 - Where is Beauty!?!

ABOUT THIS EPISODE

Episode 24 - Where is Beauty!?!

Welcome to the 24th episode of Beauty and the Beast - Where is Beauty!?! Seems Beauty is missing a Beast has to fend the opening of the podcast. Where can she be and is she with Waldo? Find out more in this weeks episode...

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Coming to on his life, FOM Leektie, I'mneeding that I'm the BES Hay. So here we are testing testing and when I see testingI mean where in the world is beauty, that's right for some reason. I'm here all aloneagain in my tool, shed slash, recording studio, slash, mancave, slash bongshack once again on my own due to circumstances beyond my controlo. In my case it was health related, that's right. After last week's show about death,where I talked about facing death- or maybe I did, I can't remember all. I know I've I've undergone a lotof tests since then, and none of them have been too pleasant and then beauty had an issue come upand she just disappeared, and now we need to know. Where is the beauty? Weknow where the beast is he's stuck in his tool? Shed, that's right all alone in his tours shed again,don't feel sorry for him. He chooses this. He chooses to do this to himself.He does it to himself. He does and that's why it really hurts. If any ofyou are radio head Fan. Sorry, sorry, if I'd just ruined that song for youspoiler alert, that was a radiohede song, ok, spoiler alert. I don't knowwhere beauty is. I thought I knew. I thought I had the secret in my pockets, but in fact I don't. I was wondering where she is and Ithought, through process of elimination, we could figure out at least all theplaces that she isn't beauty currently isn't at an open Mike Night, as arenone of us not to go and perform not to go andsupport. No, I opened mikes closed Mikes zoom parties. I think I recentlysaw that Saturday night live was doing some zoom films and zoom. It's just notthe same as when thereare people tere actually laughing at you or booing youor whatever you gotta, get that crowd reaction. Unless you're most of thecomedians in here, then no crowd reaction is what you're used to and ifyou actually got a crowd reaction, it might just blow your mind. Hey I'vebeen doing this routine for ten years now, no one ever laughed at it before.What's your problem, sir: Oh you've had ten MARTINIS and it's only eighto'clock, all my Shit's funny. I better roll out all my material that I've beendoing agnosium for a decade that no one ever laughed at trying to get somelaughs at this shit. Already I've been holing, it I've been honning my fiveminute routine. So despite the fact that beauty mightnot be in an open Mike Night, I probably won't be there either for awhile anyway. It'd also be strange to hearbodlaughing through their coved masks. I did see Ol, I saw not too NGO couple of weeksago. I think it was.

I did see dachapell doing some stand up,uh, a strange location where everyone was social distancing and they also hadchapelled logo on their coved mass, which was strange. Thet did showeveryone getting their temperatures checked when they came in, and I havehad my temperature check now, a few places and after a all, these tests are over. My averagetemperature has been ninety seven point: Five, which is a good degree undereveryone else on one degree cooler than everyone else. At least one degree,thank you very much. I always suspected this, but now it's been proven throughtest after test. Another thing that was proven duringthese tests was that I have something called intestinal. Mal rotation sideeffects may include anyway. I don't know what the signeffects are because we're just starting to deal with it, but it does in factmen that my insides are twisted around. So all theorgans that should be on the left or on the right, and vice versa, and thisalso now means that not only am I one degree cooler, I am officially twistedinside. That's right, doctors have verified this fact. I've got numerousscans and ultrasounds et Cetera, to bear proof to the fact that I amtwisted inside twisted inside, which is Baren being hollowinside, which I oftenfeel Hulo and sired, but the subject today is not whether Ifeel hollow inside or not it's where in the world is beauty. Wers beauty arethere any clues? Can you smell her? Perhaps you could, if you breathe,deeply and think of a plae, a marvellous playze, where the SPLUCHWAISflow and there's laughter, laughter, O and Liting Ugaleli music, that is theland of beauty. You've entered what note sorry that place doesn't exist,get back to reality. Kids come on, it might exist. I might have cauit aglimmer of it. Who knows I'll, never tell, or did I tell on a previouspodcast, I cant keep track of the Shit. That's why I hope you, our loyallisteners, will call me on this. What I've admitted to and what I havedenied all right right now, I'll admit to not knowingwhere buty is all right. I suspect she may be somewhere in the lakeside almostlive. The last I spoke to her was last weekwhen we talked about Dandanta death. That's right! It was the subject of ourpodcast and it is something that we deal with all the time and why don't wehave an official theme. This time I don't know wh, do we need one? I meanreally if in fact, you tuned Im for the first time, would you say: Hey how comeH, 're not doing o theme she'll, like all the other, shows he do. Litteo Olo, I don't know folks. I don't know, I'mnot happy that I'm not with beauty, but I understand that sometimescircumstances are going to dictate. Otherwise a we still figure out thisnew fangled technology called cellphones. Maybe I could call her andragtle her cage a little while and it would be almost live because we atleast be talking on the phone, but based on our conversations we've hadonline on the air. Maybe neither of US would get a word in enchwise. I don'tknow...

...sometimes there's a certain telephoneetiquette that does not lend itself to the beauty in Te Vsho, because I'malways talking over that girl, while she's Lahing her ass off. That's right.That's all! I know stuff's funny. 'cause beauty cano keep hercompossreall right. So have you seen beauty? Have you heardher? Have you heard her Eucalali? I know she's dying to go to a ren fair.Unlike me, I can look at those pictures online and that's all I need, but I didthink about it. I did toy with the idea of going and being a part of a renfare,and the idea is even more appealing now to me, because these things willprobably happen in the fall if to happen at all and if you're going towalk around some scratchy ass renaissance, fair costume, it might aswell be when cool or weather is here, and then you can drink that hot toddyand h. You know fin with the whole crowd all right all right, I'm looking at the clock on the wall.It says eight minutes into the show. I said the first you know: Will it be?The last make a bet and tell me later, if you win, and we also give prices around forother things like using cliches too much, also using catchphrases Ha. No, wedon't penalize for that. We use those all the time, but we hate those fuckingcliches and the people who use em, who try to say one thing and don't actuallyhave the words, so they just use a cliche to fill in the gap. What am Ieven talking about? Isn't this show supposed to be about where in the worldis beauty? Is She in London or Paris? Perhaps I don't know, perhaps we shouldgo on a fantasy trip around the world, all the places we think beauty might be.First of all, she might be at the Lincoln continental dealership, but Ithink she'd rather have one of those nice old boats than the new ones. So Idon't think beauty. Is there perhaps she's at the Tennessee Avenue Beer Hall? That'sright, they are open and you can sit outside and enjoy your beer under thestars or hey. You can grab it and run up to the boardwalk in Atlantic City.That's a whole new experience. That's right go sit up on the boardwalk withthe locals 'cause. There ain't no fucking tourists around and then you'llreally meet the salt of the Earth. I'm telling you right now: If you go to theBoardwalk Atlantic city, it's unlike any other time, you'll ever go becausethere's nobody there, but the people who live in Atlantic City, who areoften not there at all, that's right, but they figured they'd. Take it back.Since all the toursts have gone and don't go to the casinos they're jackingpeople, that's right. Once upon a time you might be able to find a five dollarblackjack table. Now, you're, probably more likely find a twenty five dollarBlack Jack minimom table. That's right! You used to be able to play five hands.Now you play one get the hell out. If you thought you were hanging aroundhere with your God, Damn Five Dollar Handblack Jack, you got another thingcoming 'cause! We don't need Yo, we don't need anyone. We're just openbecause we wanta be that's right were just open to take your money. You can'tgo to the casino to enjoy anything to eat. You can't go to the casino to geta free drink anymore and you can't go to the casino to smoke h. So the onlyreason to go is to gamble, and you can do that at the scratching machine atthe local convenience store really when a GAM ll just play the number, youprobably have just as good a odds as hitting some twenty five dollar a handBlack Jack. I don't know, I don't know what you're into what your threshold ofpain is. I kindo know what beauty's threshold of pain is, but...

...she discussed that at length a coupleof shows ago where in the world is beauty, is she inRahoba at that place where you buy all the leather stuff? Is that where it was my idol paid mind, you know it was onlytwo weeks ago we talked about that. I might as well have been two years agoat this point. In my memory, though I do remember do remember, do I remember pure romancedotcom. Is that the link to drop? Please beauty tell me if you're outthere and I've found you if anyone's found, you ask her if pure romance dot,Comis an Linc'm supposed to drop, I'm still waiting to get my box in sextowees and my the ano toys. We talked about yeah I figured by now there'd beat least one Dildo in the mail, but no not even not even a Halfadildo and ahalf Adildo, you know actually hale dl is just as good as a whole one,depending on what you're doing with it. That's right and, of course, pornowas free and I'velooked for beauty in H, pornos. I never found her. I have not found yet I'mstill looking. I will tell you all the things I searchfor her under, but you have to check the link below I have no link below.I'm only kidding am only bull shooting you right now, because I don't know where beauty isand I feel a little bit lost again in my tool shed all alone with one tool and I'm the biggest toolin the tool. Shit. That's right! I like that, he's the biggest tool in the tool. Shad, the only guy here with a microphone-that's for sure, Oh and a wonderful thing about this tool, sheds lastrecording slut studio, slash, mancaves, slash, Bong Shack, as you can hear,every motorcycle that rolls down every dog that barks in the neighborhoodevery car that his a pottol they're all here live on. This pod cast well almostlive if this was live, wow, wouldn't that beawesome. If we were actually doing a live podcast in front of what I don'tknow, a million zoomers, I don't know how fuckd do you do about prodcast fora million people does do the biggest guys they got a million peoplelistening, don't they sure hope they do it? It's sure worthit. Some of those people are already up to their two thousand PODCAST, I'm upto my twenty third or so. What have I got to lose? What have I got tocomplain about? I I even have two dozen of these things under my belt. Other people have thousands tens ofthousands of followers. What have I I've got? Twenty four less than twenty four pudcast in thecan and H. I don't. I don't know I've not really heard from one person who islistening. I sure do love you, whoever you might be. I think your beauty areyou beauty and it's Ma. I know thereis at leasttoo there's beauty in me. That's why it's important to know where in theworld is beauty well, I know where I'd like to be withbeauty and that would be in her studios. Slash toy factorie, slash, costplaycreation, center, slash wreck, room, slash, slashlast, slash, it'Sall, thosethings, because one thing I want to do nexttime. I see hers, put her Damn Ferbi away, get that creepy aspherbi off of thedesk that shows over. We did Tho show about toys, it's time to put the ferbyaway. Put It away. Please maybe I'll just bring some freshbatteries for it. Remember how thse thinks a e just suckyour life at Yo and talk to ye three M...

...and Si Satanic Gibberish, which wasn'tactually gibverish. It was an ancient language that Ferbisknew that we didn't. I don't know, I don't know all I knowwis the thing people want today. So badly is the thing there. Leting go ina garage sale next year, so they can get the next model o they just lostinterest in it, especially theire toys. That's right! We were looking today. I do anotherstupid podcast, which I love called Jamfam, which is my little radio show Ido with my buddy John D, J Johnni j. They wereplaying songs about money.'CAUSE, everybody needs money, he's a big Alvis Fan, so we were looking atall the stuff. People wasted their money on, so they could have a piece ofElvis in their life and Holy Shit. Just his piano alone, which was, ofcourse, twenty four charicoled foil coveredpiano. That's all for six hundred grand, but the thing that set the records isSA. Mega diamond studid. Omega Watch was given to him by R CA victor when hesold seventy five million albums worldwide. They gave him this watchwith an inscription and a few years later he wore it a lot and he had a lotof photos of him. Taking with the watch and Maki got theirmoney's worth out of it a and he ended up just trading it with some guy whowho's watched he liked better and the guy was like yeah sure and later on,this watche Oldet auction for one point: Eight million dollars one point: eightmillion dollars for Omega Watch, granted Elvis Wart, but hey one point:eight million. Give me a breakdude, I would not just buy one watch with it would certainly buy more than one watch.I might buy ten cars a house a yacht. I know I've stretched at one point. Eight.I know I can make that money work for me. It wouldn't just be like hey whattime is it? I don't know. Let me look at my one point: Eight Million DollarWatch and Oh, oh, it stopped itdoes't her and run, but look at the inscription to ell ofUS anyway paid a big block of money. Songsbecause I know wherever beauty might be she'd like to be making some money.That's right. One of the things beauty does is go to these conventions andother places where geeks and nerds tend to congregate and sell her wears, sellher drawings and her prints and hol people with casts, play and and jeezesomewhere. If she could only be selling that stuff whole out. That's somethingthat I would love to see beauty. Do I love to see all my friends be able todo that again. There's so many of 'em out there who depend on conventions andtrade shows and places like that where they can sell their autograph picturesor they can take selfies with their fansor sell their artwork or their comics or whatever it is. A lot of people arehurting and they're hurting, not just 'cause of the money, but because theyhave no creative outlet now and they're, not with their like minded nerds,because nerds of a feather et Cera et Cetera. That's right and I don't miss it so much, but I doenjoy a good cost play...

...class player. I should say, and ofcourse at the big cons: That's when you really see some incredible hat men andwomen who are dressed to the nines as your favorite Superhero Heroin, whatever villainVillanss, and you just can't get that it's justnot the same. Looking at the picture of it as standing. Next to that person andh talking to them about they're, stitching, that's right, they're, elegant,stitching Ay and that's one thing beauty's into anda lot of cost players are, is making their own stuff. They don't fuck aroundwith stuff. They buy that's right, they don't just buy shit and if they do buyshit, they hammer it and beat on it and weather it. Etcra can't y just have a hockey mask if youwant to be Jason. No as to me won, that's been dragged through the mud andhad tea spilled on it, and somebody went out. I Wan a razor blade and onand on it goes until it looks authentic and then now you've taken the basic piece of h hockey equipment and made it into a collectible. That'sright: 'cause Youd beat the crap out of it and you wethered it and whether or not you think that issomething important. It is to a cost player. Believe me, they want to haveeverything right down to the tiniest hair. They'v got these bucking eight byten patures. They blow out o details of the costue that they want to getexactly right, and even if they don't get anything else right, they can atleast pointo this one God damnd detail. They got perfect. That's right me. My idea is yeah. Giveme a hot gluegon and some duct tape and I'll whip together, something and I'llgo to the show and I'll have fun, and what I will lack in professionalism andH and actual craftsmanship I'll make up four with Sher unbridled enthusiasm. That'll get you through around or twomight nit get you to the finals, but it'll certainly get you up there.That's right! I do have one piece of cost play that Idid buy. Well. Actually, two, I would say two pieces of cassplay straight upbout. One T is a SANA suit. Why Not San a suit thinkthey? Make 'em with theLUX fur trimp put my cowboy boots on I'm South Jersey Sanna, it's a lot offun and I don't do it for creepy reasons like having little kids sit inmy lap. I I do it for the sheer imbridled money, part of it, where Ican stand in front of People's stores and Wav to the passing crowd andattract people to their Brookin Mordar establishment. That's right! I, as theSanta Claus, I've never sat down even once t one time I didn't even wear my beard,I didn't even care. No one ever cared. No one cared. It was as long as theyguiste were coming out of the bag sand. Idn't hed appeared at that point saidit was okay, beardless Santa, but the other piece of costplay I just boughtright off the rack so to speak, was a frank, the bunny outfit H, frank, thebunny, being the character and Donny Darko. That talks about the end of theworld has all those existential conversations and it's just a freaking ugly Bundy. It's one of the mostwonderful costlay costumes. I've ever had 'cause itcreases people out. So badthey do not approach you not like other cost players who they're high fivin andtrying to get autographs and taking pictures, they're very happy to take apicture of me off in the distance. They don't have to get close at all. It'spretty funny how people can be scared of a stupid, fucking costume. I ul just appeals to some dark thinginside of hem and T ey. Just I can't...

...stand. I I't goin to stay away fromthat guy. So that's one of my favorite things todo with the KONS. When I slipping in outof this costume and just appear frombehind a pillar and just stand still andfreak people out like was he juststanding there? Was He just here? How did he? Because you could be people, think youteleported there it's just because in a blink of Aneye you just stepfed outfrom behind a pillar and they were looking at the hundredth issuathor orwhatever the fuck it was, and of of a sudden you're there there's just o, hejust appeared at thin airs like N Y. U Know No! You just stepped from behind apillar while you were distracted, which is why I guess so many magiciansare so successful 'cause, it's so easy toUm. Distract your victim, so frank also doesn't say much he'svery seft spoken when he does speak. So there's not a whole lot of point ineven talking in the costumenot that his mouth moved at that's a good thing andhe was just a disembodied voice, but that is one piece of Cosstplay Ibought off the rack. I've got a lot of great use out of it. It was well worththe money I invested in it, which was basically ten bucks at the thrift store.I don't know the stuff you find at the thrift store, but will we find beautyat the third store? Is Beauty at the throft store? I don't know ihave yet to see her there. I do. I do remember seeing her and a little place calledthe underground. In Smith, though it was a historic day, Len, frank and the other evil bunniesin the area got together for antieaster. That's right. Beauty showed up that dayas a clown Muney. I think she had a Machetti and she was with Michael Myers.I believe- and that was one of the last times wewere able to get together in public, and I am really glad that one of thelast times that we were able to gather together and come together as acommunity and as like minded people was tat as fucked of a thing as anantieaster celebration. That's awesome. It's one step below that anti Christmasparty that we have with Sombi Santo Memories, lithe corners of my mand, butvery dimly. Let let me tell you so where in the world is beauty, where's,beauty? Well, she's, not sitting on my lap, Ilooked and she's, not there. Perhaps I'm sitting in her lap. No, no! I'm notI'm sitting here after a wonderful dinner, and I got to tell Ya that any time as somebody asked me, Olwhere's the best place to get this or get a cheesesteak or wher's the bestplace to get a pizza where's the best place to get ribs. It's always at myfuckinghouse. That's where and that you know not. Most people are not invited,but we just had some of tose amazing ribs, slow, cooked out on the Webberand Miss Webber is twenty years old. At this point the thing is seasoned. Ifyou know what I mean and Friday Nice Pizza night and Um yeah, we make the dough we make thesauce. I grate the cheese an if we had a goat I'd, probably make that too. But H. That is an awesome thing andpeople e like where's, the Tis Cheesday N. I'm like you know I go get. I go,get the steaks from the same place that the restaurants get 'em and if you cometin, my house there's no extra charge for extra meat or extra cheese extraextra, every fucking thing- I don't car, put it on there, no ACTA charge. That'sright. You can little leave a little tippy for the shaft under your platewhen you leave...

Ah, but where is beauty, she wasn't atthe dinner table with us, she's, probably podcasting doing her thing,maybe she's splushing, I don't know you'll, have to ask her I'm listeningas hard as I can, but she is several miles away and uh she's, not that vocalwith Te Spluche. I don't know I'm list Hollon. Do you hear that? That's nother. That's the tape running backwards witha sound completely turned of which reminds me today is Beck's birthday,Bacco Sang Loser and devils haircut me an my mind. Every time I tell people Ilike back, they say: Oh Jeff Beck, he's cool, I'm like okay right I mean I gotback handsome back the guy who sings dot led lo, Sun, Gatco, Cryyeah and anyway. The last thing I think I sawhim do was tribute to print show, saying Rabsberry Burey, wow h, it wasokay. Have you seen that show it was a tribute to Princi was on not too longago. I was pretty rocking, but I didn't see beauty there andthat's why I'd like to see beauty in the audience of a show, H, e're onstage one or the other. I know she's cumping at the bit. For that too, Imean come on. The woman's got to get on stage soon. I don't know, maybe theycould figure out some kind of social distancing theate, where not only do the actors social distance on stagebut the audience members as well. I don't know, there's got to be some wayto get around this. These zoom fucking things are just too lame. Every time Isee one I want to do. Do Mystery, science, theatere and just startchiming in with h bad jokes, which would more than likely improvemost of these presentations, but I should be so harsh. It's a new art formemerging. That's right, the zoo meeting it a new form of Highart, some peoplejump yet to master it, but I'm sure it's coming, I'm sure there's going tobe people who are going to be zoom performance artist, I'm a zoomperformance orjust. Can I get a grant? That's right! No, you have to go crowdFon that Shit Oh cross, fond, ok, Crowp, Fon, every other fucking thingwe're in a crowd: Fon Your Legal Device after we peat the shit out of youbecause of your lame ass fucking zoom performance. That's right! You get two points for effort, butthat's not enough to get the grant ask beauty beauty's, trying to get thegrant too I'd like to get the grant too. I would I'd like to get that subsidy.That's right! I would like to get that check in the mail without having tolift a figer and then lift another finger, because that's what you gottodo you gotto have lift and those fingers and you're like I haave, gotany more fingers to live with the fuck. You got to put your knives to the grindto on my nose. I don't have a nose anymore. IT'S GROUND RIGHT DOWN!INTSIDE of my face. It's a divid! Now right, it's a rugt! That's right!Youave! To persevere! You have to never never ner give up that ship h. We found our beauty. Where could shebe keep listening to the show? If I gofirst more an likely she's coming up next, I hope I do go first and then Iwill have found her. That's right. I listened closely and Ididn't find beauty. I sniffed the air and she wasn't there...

...what's left whether the sense can I useI reach out to toucher nothing just butor. Yes, I put my hand in the butterdam it. What else is left taste yeah well,we'll leave that for another show, how beauty tastes h we're going to have to ask a lot ofpeople that maybe we'll take a pole. Do you think she tastes fruity? Do youthink she, the SOA inquiring minds en to now, whateverinquiring Mines Might Beso? I think I've run the course of this sillylittle subject where in the world is beauty and I'm pretty sure, she's at homeright now doing her half of the show. I also look forward to seeing her again.I know we'll get back on track. I know I'm going to get well someday the leastphysically. This is beast hello and welcome to beauty and thebeast. This is beauty and I've been missing. Where am I? Where did I go? AmI taking over for Walnou? Could it be? Oh that would be interesting,everybody's always like worse waltough like dude, that dude does not want tobe found. That's why he's always lost, but you know it's like we're continuingour show we're doing it remotely today. We've both had some things going on andour schedules just weren't. You know hooking up, so it's like the Beati intheb show. Here we are. What episode is this? Is this episode of Number TwentyFour, the big two four wow, so what's going on everyone? Have we all gotten our lives back, Um Yeah. Definitely not me. My brain hasdefinitely H as stopped a few NACHOS here and there, but yeah they dier just have one ofthose days like so many things happen like within twenty four hour period oftime. You're, like you, don't know whether you're coming you're going likethat's how I'm at right now. Like am I happy an y sad? Am I upset like? Am Igoing through like everything right now and no it's not that time of the month andthat's none of your business. But anyway it's just one one of those upsededownses kind of thing which actually it started. It didn't start out his upsis.It started out F his downzies, so my cousin John, his dog, had died just passed away last night technicallyearly this morning and it's just one of those sad thingslike I feel for pets. I feel for humans as well, but yeah, it's like wh. Whenyou have a pet, that's you know awesome and you're totally close and everythingit's it's like losing the best bud. So it's like I didn't know you know toomuch of what to do so. I'm like well, you know they're having a barrial fortheir dog and you knowi'd be nice to have you know some family friends Um.We all came at different times, so we weren't breaking any. You know rules oranything like that. So I figured it's like. Let me do you know my part, I'mlike I'm thinking, I'm like what do you bring to a pets funeral and I'm like?Well, I've got cookies and beer and sure enough, if that wasn't a goodenough thing to bring to funeral. So yes, so Um poor jewels, you knowmake you rest in peace. She was a great dog. I mean I only mether once, but she was very, very friendly. It was fourth of July. Therewas a couple of people at the house outside barbecue, everybody's socialdistancing,...

...and you know we had the dog out therewith us and shed go around and everybody was like patting her andeverything and she would nudg you if she wanted your attention. I remember when I was petting her and Ihad stopped petting her and she put her paw and you know and taped me on thearm a couple F times. It's like hey. I wasn't done. Actually she looked at melike I wasn't Don Bitch, like you're Goingto, pet me and you're, going topet me until I say stop, which was like awesome like I love thatlike when you like get. You know a dog's tone or whatever, but so it'slike that was the daancy. Now, maybe what was it? Maybe around L enoon today,Um but beforehand. I already knew one web web show that I'm working on rightnow. Actually it's not going to be on the web anymore I's going to be onAmazon. Prime, let me just get the yeah I'm searching for the Tito right.Now they changed the name. It S M from Bumbitos it', the one where I've voicemissed ice, a rabbit like o. That was harsh. Like that's one of the voicesthat I do and I got you know the Um, the riter and the person that's beengiving me the scripts and everything he contacting me today and he's like. OhGuess, what y h you now have a new IM, DV credit, which I I was like totallythrilled about, like which I knew from yesterday, because I have imdb pro andit like alerted me when m when a new credit comes on there. So I was like.Oh my God. This is awesome. It's like credit number, twenty one, I'm totallystoked about it, I'm still searching for the new name right now. I know I know I know Um. No, I don't know it. That's Morew! My brain has way I I'sreally really Um yeah. I see it's called Bumbido's TV. Ibelieve it's on like Rokil and M, I wan to say I'm not sure if it's on Amazon,prime right and now e're, if we're going to do like a whole season andthen release that it's called wildside wrestling, which is like this awesome sh. It'svetty much like a a cartoon version like I guess. If you're like awrestling fan like, I would say, like the wwe like, like all the smack talkthat goes on and everything there are actual wrestling matches like right now.My character's just been doing like a lot of smack talking. You know kindkindof like one of those characters like will you either like do what I sayor you're done. You know, Ke, that's just how I come off as Myssico, which Iwas like very surprised, and I was like so happy at the same time. At the sametime, it's like I'm thinking about my cousin's Porog, I'm like son of a bitch.I'm like I'm happy, I'm sad, I'm happy! I'M SAD! It's like I don't know whereI'm at, but it's like. I'm glad that I went over. You know and saw my cousin,his fiancee Gess, that's whose dog it was, and you know we shared some lassand everything an in fact when they were out digging the whole Um Jessactually said, said M. I I wonder if it's deep enoughand my cousin John was like that's what she said she was like. Well, it'scertainly why do now? Mi was like okay, who's, the comedian and the Damn family,and then I then I walk over. You know like ten minutes later, I'm looking atthe hole- and I was like I just came here- t check out your hole and theywere like how long have you been waiting to say that and I'm like sinceI got here but yeah, we we had some laughs andeverything, and you know itwas like w. We shared the joy of they didn't haveher for too long. She was a rescue dog that someone else had had and theyneeded to find a hoome for her. So it was like John and Jess, like theyjust folnloved with her right away, so it was like they took the dog in andeverything I think they had her for about three or four months. Maybe likethree and a half months, there were some other medical issuesand everything, and it just happens an...

...empast like at first, you know Itwas,like t the vet was like o we're going to have to operate. It's like okay,we're prepared for this, and then it turned into Um she's not going to makeit through the night. So it's like. Oh, my Gosh, you know, and meanwhile I waslike Justas, been keeping everybody plosed on facebook like what's going on,so it's like literally it's. I got checking my phone like every hour likewhat happened like like. Is She getting an operation? You know w what'shappening, it's like Bam. It just like hits you you know it's like. I don'tthink anybody's. You know prepared for any kind of death, whether it's humanor pet, but, like I said it's like the emotions, are there and we were talkingabout like Um. Well, no BEASTA, and I we were talkingabout things like he's. Had few health she's going on, but he's bouncing backhe's got to get a couple more things, couple more tests done, which it's a good thing. It's a good thing,UM, yes yea! I would say that definitely is a good thing Um. So it'slike. We just had like a a conflicting schedule. Today, like I sai, I didn'tknow how long it was going to be with my cousins job, but I know towards likeUm dinner time. It's like they w n. You know some private time and everything Tit was a long day, a long night along everything. So now I'm Lik I'm home and everything and I'm likeokay, it's like now, I'm back up to happy again. You know I've got some. II'm going to be a podcast gast on a show coming up which is based inMontreal. It's like, I really can't wait for that, one to come out I'll,keep everybody posted, but this Friday I will be doing the comedy workshopit'll be held on face book. I believe we gi through STREAMYARD, but we'reonly filming like through we're only video taping chatting whatever throughStringhard, and it shone on Facebu. So if you want to make sure that yourcomments are coming through, please subscribe this Dream Yard on facebookand that this is the comedy workshop. It's happening, ten PM Eastern on Friday, whatever the He Friday, thetenth Friday t e tenth, that's where I'll be Um. I did the comedy workshoplast week. I wasn't too sure about it. Bus, like you, know what I'm you knowbite the bullet. You have to go with the Times. I know there's a couple openMikes, I think around here that have opened up, I'm not too ready for that.Yet, like meaning, like my material, is ready, I'm ready to go. I was readysince Um yeah is the beginning of this year. Youknow it's like I've developed a lot more material doring. You know thewhole cocove in nineteen. You know it's been keeping me Aflu and I was likewell. Let me try Um. Let me just you know, try doing one ofthe workshops and the comedy workshop. What that is, is they give you likeabout a week in advance? Sometimes it's shorter notice depending on if theyneed. Somebody like, I know that they need, like the spot filled. I think fortomorrow show so itwould be only like a DA's notice, but they give you like oneword topic like last week, I had hospitals, so I did you know. WholeHospital Lake Um, for example, like you know, t like hospital to me, is likegoing to your favorite bar. Like everybody knows my name, they know allmy allergies and they pretty much know what I'm in. For so so being with hospitals andeverything it's like having go in and out like mostly for like allergies,asthma highs, you know when two Um, two shells fall on your foot at the sametime, and you know you don't break anything, but youbruise it so there you ye, wher, you wend up going to a state park andstaying on the trails, and you end up getting siggars, never get ciggers.Those things itch lay hell it felt like. I was having a reverse order likechicken pox, or something like that. I thought I was dying. I didn't know whatit was it. It so happened that whole...

...group of us that were in the R thatnight is one of our stories that Um we all came from the park andeverything and we all had cases of tiggers. Now I I don't know if you can spray fortriggers or not like. I know in some parks and everything they spray forenand mosquitoes and things like that. But sticking on the trails andeverything like that, like they actually have um certain parts whereit's like wooden trails and everything like that I figured I was safe like Idon't really. You know venture off into the woods or anything like that. LikeI've seen the blarrwitch project like okay, I'm not doing that again, Obutthethere's a story behind that one. But let me finish this story first andthen I'll get back to the blayer witch project, so yeah, it's like walking through thePark Li, I said, is till manner beautiful place a best place to seebutterflies like they get a lot of butterflies, I'm not sure I'm guessingthat's more like a early spring like early fall type of thing, but they getsome amazing butterflies. ANYWAYIT's, like I love nature, photography and 'slike I just I stuck to the trail and everything and when I got home I wasfine, but then later in the night, I'm like what the Hell I'm like itchy likeI I have highs like I'm pome to getting high and usually they don't they don'titch like they don't they're, not like the kind that rritate. So I'm like okay.What is this like it? Like? Bothering me so much, I'm like I gotta go to theEr like I don't know what this is. So it's like. I get there and there's likesix other people, and you know the nurses are asking you know it's like sowhat's going on, and everything and you know and listeners got pretty much wiseto the situation because she's, like Oh, my God, you're, like the sixth personhere that has told me that they've been in a still manner today and yes, it wasa case of the tiggers Um. I now know how that was my m computerchair squeaking. It's not me. I did now toeat the beans again. Maybe I'd dit anyway yeah. So Um people that were in thestill manner had sigers and I just won't point off that the offbug spraydoes not forget it. Prehends I makein aporiit m the off deep woods or anybugspray or bug repellent that you use. It does not prevent you from gettingchiggers. That's like the worst thing ever like. I didn't know this onlytigar spray, wolve repell chiggers. So if you're gong to what area or m anytrails like I know, most of Hem are open here in New Jersey. You know forwalking like the playgrounds, aren't open like things like that, any placethat had an inside like a little museum or something I don't think that's openunless they're you know outside and they're letting only a few people in ata time. But yes, if you go walking in the woods, make sure it's like you havebookspray and you have chicger repelling because believe me, you donot want to get chairs. I was like. I had no idea what they were and, Oh, myGod, the pain, the pain. Let's just put it. That way I mean it's Kindof, like wiping yourash with poison ivy, like I wouldn't know that personally now, my cousin Kimwould definitely know that one so yeah. Oh, I had another story. This is Kindolike like we're doing like wors beauty like I'm, just like all over the placeright now, like not um like not in a physical sense, but likedoing all these open mikenights and doing like the workshop and everythingand I've worked with people from Canada from California, Australia, Japan,Egypt, like Oh my gosh. When I did the workshop Um last week, I ha I would have calld hemmy new best bud. His name is mcki.

Let's try that a I just messed up hiskneee. His name is mchir. Sorry, I'm like dry mouth. I I drank a lot of water and bugspraded it so, but nowor nejagers are but anyway m yeah. His name is Mhir,he's really really funny and Um. Where is he from? I can't remember? Oh mygosh I'm having like the biggest brain far ever like. Apparently, my brain isnot here so, but his name is mchere and Um, and I made him laugh so darn hard. I believe, he's I wan to say he's fromEgypt, I'm probably so far off like wow. I know who was in Canada, I'm not sureif he was up up there doing work or anything. I know it's, not Egypt Iamlike messing this OAUP, so bad like this is where my head is right. Now,anyway, his name'sm here I made him crack up so much during the comedyworkshop like like he was snorting. He was snortinglikattle piggy and I waslike Oh my got. This is awesome. I was like so whereevere he's from it's like wherever he's from it's like I I wouldlike I would kill as a comedian over there, but he liked like how like free andeverything everything was just coming out and flowing and everything I waslike. I've just been doing this. You know for over, like a year and a halflike we did get to talk privately afterwards and everything which isgreat too it's like I, I love like doing all these shows and I've beenasked to do. PODCAST and everything be guest here, big gess there. It's likeit's awesome, it's getting a little overwhelming, but it's almost geting meback to my regular schedule, which was crazy because before quarentine I wasdoing four to five open mikenights a week I was in double rehearsals, for atleast you know two shows I was doing poice over work like everything waslike like crazy, like a regular person, couldn't keep up with it, and I wasdoing the beauty in the beast podcast, which is awesome, and we have somestuff that we are working on right now is like we're. Writing some skits andeverything to get some characters in there 'cause. That's one thing that wewanted to do was not just do a potcast but make it entertainment and make itsomething that we can bring to the stage, because it's like that's why wecall it the beauty and the bee show. So it's like we're working on things nowwe're worrying. So it's like. Where am I it's like m? Maybe Canada, maybeJapan, maybe I'm all over the place, Australia,California, like just everywhere, I mean it's a great trip and I don't haveto check my baggage once. That's the best part of it. I think, like that's the best part ofdoing all these, you know Stan comedy things online, because it's like you'rereally going on tour and, like I said it's like, I don't have topack my bags. Oh my God, a total nightmare know about you, but um a lot of times.I cannot Aford to bring you know luggage where I have to check it, but sometimes you get lucky like ifyou're like on a flight. I think it was M. where did we deal? Um thinkwe usedADULTA DELSA when we went to San Diego Comican when I was a guest out there.One year and I checked you know their baggage sizes and everything and Um rig,of course, we're like the last people to board the plane, because obviouslythat was r really aswor o the moment, like wehad two weeks to plan this thing to get hotel airfare and get out there like there wasn't much thinking aboutanything else and we couldn't afford to. You know: Have our luggage checked inor whatever, but delto was really really nice like. If you had a bigsuitcase that wouldn't fit overtop, they would actually check it for free.I was like which was awesome, so I don't know f. They still do that. Theyprobably do it's like. I T found them to be a very nice airline going to SanDiego. They were the perfect airline.

We even got out there early and got toenjoy Um a couple of hours of the conventionthat day but yeah it was like packing would belike a nightmare. Could you imagine having to pack for like a world tour,but you can only bring a carry on like that? That's that's insane foranyone like, I hope, there's like walkers in all these countries, andthings like that but, like I said doing things digital and virtual, like it's awhole new experience, but now that I've gotten into it, it's like I'm having ablast with it. So it's like right now. It's like everything. I think this highis going to continue. Now it's like Pai, the last respect M to my cousin's songs,jewels and everything a which was like, I said, which was nice like I ai. Itgot me low because you know it hurts like when you hear that that an animalhas passed away a you know human too. Obviously, like I'm, not heartless oranything but yeah like pets get me you know it just gets 'cause it's close tohome. It's like. We have two cats of our own, and I know it was like when welost our cat M buffe when he was eighteen but after they talking about. I think Ijust broked on here. Anyway, excuse me like Damn I didn't realizethis was like the beef and Belch Hour. Lik Idon't know what's wrong with me, but anyway, it's like I'm just going tokeep on talking. I have that story. That's right! Let me back try. Okay,the blarwitch project, I'm sure, like everbody, has seen it by now prettymuch. These kids go into the woods they're looking for the blare witch M,so to speak, the're looking for, like the ruins of the House or the'r lookingto communicate with her or whatever t like. I know the remate was horrible,like that's like two hours that you will never get back on your life. Ifyou watch that even the first one was iffy like theyhad like a really l like they had a decent budget for that movie and whatthey did was th y. They kept the filming and everything like way underbudget and then to promote it. That's where it got. People like they promotedlike the hell out of it like it was like a real story and everything Um h, yeah, just one point out: it was not areal story. Yet people went into the woods looking for the Blurr whitchthemselves and that whole calony or town that they used to do the Blarwidprodict. Those people were pretty much pissed off anyway. One night, I was watching thatthis is back. When my dad lived out on a farm for a big place, you know h e,he wasn't home, so I was like well, you know what there's some cows in thepasture I'm like. Let me go, seek some pictures on them. It was a nice SpringDay, 'cause, it's like I'm taking pictures and everything, and then Irealize one of them is not a cow. One of them is bull with sharp horns, and it's looking at me so I run andjump over the other fence. Normally we're I'm notlike. I don't. I didn't explore area too much like I knew. I was old enough.I had my driver's licence because I was able to drive myself there andeverything, but it was a night like right after I watched the player witchproject and right back there, there's like little stream or whatever andthere's a whole wooded area, and I'm like well shit. I cand walk around and then I'm starting to walk and I'mlike okay. This is kind of feeling like theBlair which project and I turn around at the right time, because I almostwalked into this ginormous spater web. Like this thing it had to betwelve feet,t had to be like twelve feet by twelve feet. I almost walked dead into it andI was like Oh Hal. No, I was like okay,...

...so I got this big old spiter web and abig old spider in it and I'm like do I take my chances with the splater or thebull like what is going on here. So I decide I I went around and I was likeokay. It looks like there's a trail here 'cause, I believe Um um and people Wen hunting back thereand everything yeah did see the m deer truce stands and everything. How manytimes can I say the word Um, like eight billion so yeah, so it's like I'm walking, I'mtotally lost like they're. Really I I don't even think I have a cellphoneback then. So it's not like. I could call and say Ye, I'm stuck in the damnwoods come find me. No. That was not the case. It was like.I just had to keep walking and walking and walking. Finally, I made it back tothe trailer and I was like Oh thank Godland Ho a but while I was walkingit's like never watched the Blurre Wood project and go for a walk in the woods.That is like the scariest thing ever so that was my boywich project ose to Um. I do get Um Um, I'm I'm Um, okay and back. I know. Sometimes, when Um Beast- and Istart the show- I did ag son of a bitch een when I say it ten thousand times itstill doesn't go anywhere. So when beasts- and I we get togetherand stuff and we'll go over things like yeah, let's try not to say like Um oryou know Ye. You know like me, I'm I'm known for you know, but when I I'mgoing back to the workshop here, the comedy workshop, I will be on it Friday.Ten PM, that is on facebook and it's through stream yard, but you'll be ableto find the link I'll be able to post that right before the shell and you'llyou'll get to see it and everything and sh. I lost my train of thought wherethe hell I was going with this Oh yeah, W we a started on you know and H, I'm going to kick myself it'like the harder I try not to say theharder. I say so anyway on the PODCAST, like I've, noticed doing any kind of podcast or a comedyworkshop online. I I've been grouped I've done sho. I Don' no have beencruped. I've been doing shows with awesome people from Canada and oneofther. Things is saying you know and I'm like you know I could dulybec couldn't MakAnia. I could be Canadiat Li. If I went up there today, I would lend right onit. Soi was, like maybe saying you know, isn't such a bad thing like. I rememberthis Um comic and he almost everything that every other thing that he said wasyou know I was like it wasn't annoying either it was entertaining so like.Maybe I'm just in the wrong place, maybe I'm Park Canadiand. Who knows youknow I mean. Can you be that I don't? I don't think Canavian's anationality, I'm probably offending so many name, people right now, but yeh, you know it. It can be annoying Um.Well, as I say, like eight thousand times, that's annoying but they'redoing it commudically, it's not so I'm likewellmaybe Piec of me belongs toCanada. I have no idea but, like I said, it's like I'll, be off doing different,shows and I'll try to post everything on beauty and the beast as well. I think I have everything on myschedule: Christineol, dotcom and, of course,cract cat comedy dot com, but yeah. It's like Wat's, your you know. I said you know: therethere is ther. Isthere iws? So here we go Soi'l es just set me over his clip, forwhere is beautand. I would like to find...

...out myself if you are as lost as I am,or you want to find me, please send an email. It's a beauty in the B showsixty nine at GMAL DOT COM Y, a I'm sure, we'll have a spectacular showcoming up next week next week is the big two five Ihave, no idea what wehave planned for that because we don't have it planned 'cause, that's just theway we are so yes. So if you like this- and you won'tleave a comment- please l leave a comet. Please send us some hatemail. We reallyenjoy hatemail again, that's beating in the B show sixty nine at GMAL DOT com.So it looks like things. Um looks like I'll, be wriping up things in quite afew minutes. Okay, a few minutes this'll be like a three minute. Rab Up,you know so like what did we discuss today? Well, we discuss. I have no ideawhere I'm at, if you find me, please return me to that that th Ta, if you know where I'm at please send anew, please send the carrier pigeon, send anemail, send my email. That's a good idea. Email us at bauty and the B showsixty nine at Gemail DOTCOM SOGUESS, I'm ruphing it up so tuneintonother episode of beauty and the beast I'm eating and I'm lebes.

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