Sounder SIGN UP FOR FREE
Beauty and the Beast
Beauty and the Beast

Episode 22 · 2 years ago

Episode 22 - Toy Story Part 2: NSFW Edition

ABOUT THIS EPISODE

Episode 22 - Toy Story 2: NSFW Edition

Welcome to the 22nd episode of Beauty and the Beast - Toyz and learn more about Beauty and the Beast as we discuss adult toys.

Please shop these amazing stores:

Pure Romance By Erin Krauss https://tinyurl.com/ErinPureRomance  

Leather Central https://www.leathercentral.net/ 

Drop us a line or some hate mail, comics, art, favorite kink/fetishes and etc at beautyandthebeastshow69@gmail.com

Check us out on the web: https://beautyandthebeastshow.com/

Our new theme song courteous of The Paynkiller! Show him some love and check him out on Instagram: the_paynkiller

Check out and support our Art and Local Shops and Artists:

Optimus Artistry https://optimusartistry.storenvy.com/

Optimus Artistry on Tee Public https://www.teepublic.com/user/optimusartistry

Horror Bang http://www.horrorbang.com/

Satan's Trash Can https://pins-banned-on-etsy.square.site/

Level Up Entertainment https://levelupentertainment.com/

Farpoint Toys http://farpointtoys.com/

Angela McKendrick - https://www.facebook.com/cuddledwithcats/

Lou Pecsi - https://www.facebook.com/LJPbooks123/

Gianna Boy Vee https://www.facebook.com/TAOBoTanik/

Donate today on Kristine Knowlton's Venmo or PayPal:

https://venmo.com/KristineKnowlton007

https://www.paypal.com/paypalme2/KristineKnowlton

Coming to you almost live from lakeside. I'm beauty, AH, I'm beast, and welcome to episode number twenty two. We're finally legal. That was last week. Yeah, we were legal then, but now we're slow legal. Back girl all night. Now we're twenty two. Exactly. Got Her drunk too, because she can go in a bar now and no problem. Whoo, Whooooo, what us? Our episodes are moving up. Yeah, beauty and the beast, and actually twenty one should have been this show, not the last show, because the last show was pretty tame compared to what we're going to talk about today. Yes, last week we talked about childhood toys. This week we're talking about not childhood toys, who adult toys. Yeah, this is episode number twenty two. Toy Story, part two, the not safe for work addition. Exactly, this is explicit shit. We say fuck a lot. Yes, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, that was fine. Fucks. Fuck. It's like six, six, fucks. Oh, looks a little I don't know. All says seven, actually my eight. Oh my God, wow, losing track already now. One other thing I like he track of is the you knows. Come on, I don't want to hear any you knows, even though I already said to down. You said, yeah, said, now, it's great. That for all. Right, thinking thing thing now. One thing I'm concerned about is last week when we talked about child toys. There are many child toys around. This week they're still here. Now. I don't know why this furb he's here, but you telling me you could have sex without thing to you never fucked a furby before? No, I never had. His mouth is too small, I know. My God. So it's a slot only gets like double as. I am not a double A. I don't know about you, but his ears look really good for penetration. I mean there's two of them, so it's double penetration. Yeah, have you had it in your ear? Is like, yeah, I listen to beauty and the beast are we talk about penetration and being moist and adult toys, of which are not here. But last week you had a list of toys, your favorite childhood toys. Now let me, let me just reach into my adult pated brain, and I'm not too stone yet. It is care bears record player. Is something top of your list. You're a big Pink Panther Fan. I remember you saying that my little ponies. Put the baby ones, not the regular fucking ones. Okay, don't get her those. That's three things. That's pretty good. Yeah, that's pretty damn good. Okay, that's pretty good and I won't, we know, just refresh my memory. Were what were some of the other highlights from your list? Oh my gosh, there's so many of them. I know barbies was one of them. BARBIES, I said. We did the care bears out rainbow bright stuff. Oh right, because we talked about people who dress up like rainbow bright and brownies and you don't do that. Yeah, not since breakfast. You dressed up like other things. But since we're on the adult, you know, topics here, you know with the whole furies. Yeah, so when you dress in a fur suit and do some naughty stuff, well, all the furies tell me it's only about the prancing around and stuff, and I'm like, you gotta be kidding me. You don't go through all that trouble just to dance around in the woods, now, do you? Yeah, there's no way. It's like I've seen your back doors. Okay, yeah, that's what those flatfos I'm don't allow those tails attach by insertion. Pretty much. Yeah, now, see they have the tails in there. You see them on evail the time and the grandma doesn't understand it exactly. They're like, yeah, you know, it's just for show, you know, it's just I could do anything with that except for shove it up my ass. Yeah, and you gotta, you know, I know you got to start somewhere with that stuff. And I think it was a previous podcast we were talking about certain fruits to help you get those. But you don't have to pay as much as you do for those wonderful toys. I remember working in us in a sex shop. I was helping to build a website. I wasn't the guy wiping the come off the booth. I was not me. I deny that. Okay, even for ten percent off, I...

...would not do that. But the funny thing was having to weigh the dildos for shipping. How heavy is your dog? Have? Is that dog that? That increases the cost of shipping. I know. Right now I just see like a whole bunch of dogs at the window, like puppies that wanted to be adopted and like it served me insert me, like no, that's I'm getting a cat for they got real claws and teeth. They don't fuck around, especially when you try to masturbate with one. Try to master me with a cat, not since breakfast. See you a catapractice. Now it was a pussy, let's say, because you are what you eat. You Pusey, you call him pussy, Pussy, you're a big Mac. Yeah, big man, pushy. And do remember woman walking into that store with this forlorn look on her face because she had basically gone through her third Jack Rabbit, ha ha. And they don't come with any warranty. All right, you wear what out? You wore it out. Well, there's not gonna Hun Shell it out. Yeah, like, how'd you wear this thing out? You know it's you still find one setting it works on. It can be done. exting was wild, right, it like, it pumped, it rotated, it tickled, its sang the national anthem. Oh, yeah, had those little beads on the inside that would rotating. I've been there. Yeah, reeds on the inside. Yes, yeah, riting, and that's another toy. Right. There's Ani beads, which you can never pull out at the right time. Well, there's a lot of things that people don't know about anil beads. I'm getting to that right now. Oh, is that on your list? Yeah, actually, Hallelujah, check that one off. I've done a lot of, you know, shows where you go and everything, and, you know, intimate little parties like pure romance. Right, I have a couple of a lot of parties, first with Katie and then with my friend Aaron, which I will be dropping Aaron's link in our podcast. I have any links to draw? What the fuck he links like? What the hell like? And gonna find me some sex friends to drop links on. See a lot of things, you know, that you learn from these parties and everything is you know what animal toys are out there and how can you tell if a toy is anal? Ha Ha, wait a minute, the anal toys are out there, then they're not doing their job. Okay, just let mess so carry on, it's all good. So, if you want to know if a toy is right for anal or not, it will have a plug or handle in the back. Now, if it doesn't, your ass is going to vacuum suck that thing up and you're going to have to go to the ear and explain that exactly. So there are certain things that, yes, you can shove in your ass, and there are certain things you cannot shove in your ass, so don't make that mistake. Like always look for a plug or a pool handle. And at this point, though, there's sterile women who have had nothing up their ass. Pretty which ever, and I know they're out there. I know they're out there. There's the same women who have never given head even once. Wow, they're I have done the heaven. That wos true. Wow, those are like virgin virgins. Right. There isn't back door for well, I'm not saying anything. Give a million hand jobs, they won't blow you and you can't go in the back. What the hell can a good time? So the movies with them cut the hole in the popcorn area. What up? The feature water make the right you know that real butter? It's even better, exactly. He's real butter. That's the stinks. After an hour now I'm pitching picturing of vagina in the butter. And Yeah, then it really wouldn't small good. What kind of popcorn did you get? Vaginian? Well, leave it your beauty to be an annual toy expert. There you go, Suner, resume. It's the it's not a resume. She really circulates much, but it's on here for the list. Yeah, anle played. Do it safely. Yeah, stop shoving shit up there and going to the ear. You know, that just ruins the whole mood for the night. You know, doctors like it, though, and the nurses really do, you know. And then it's really like then you're on fucking Instagram, like, look at this schmuck came into the AAR. If you want to be a star that fast, go ahead, shove it up your ass. You know, everybody shoves things up their ass. You know what was it? Stevo, one jackass that shove the toy car up his ass. Yeah, may that is not the kind of play you want. But it was like getting back to like anal, anal toys and everything, like getting back to them, getting back to it. There's a lot of different anal toys, like the the beads and everything like that, and the...

...beads that are on the rope are the most unsanitary ones and they could also snap off and get stuck in you. Yeah, you want to avoid the rope beads, so don't go for the rope, go for the plastic. I'm just gonna sit back here and listen to this. Obviously, beauty came prepared. I have a list. I'm like the dudes and go here. We're still talking about that anal stuff, are we are? Good? Okay, then, late on me. Maybe I want to hear the rest of it. Give me your anial a don't class form. The anial beads are great because they start out small and you can, you know, insert them into the wall. You know, the largest beat. Sometimes it goes six, seven, eight, nine, ten. You could really get a lot up there. You know, if you practice like I can only go down three. Three on the one and I think five on another one, but this the ones where I can go three. They're actually vibrating anial beats, if you believe that or not. Like I said, they have a toy for everyone out there. So it's like yes, if you have you know, if you're looking for something, you know for the anus, make sure it has a plug or handle that you can easily get it out of. Stay away from the strings because they can hold the most bacteria in, no matter how much you clean it, which another thing is toy cleaner. You want to make sure you get a toy cleaner because if you're washing your toys with so you're actually damaging them, which then they can damage you. Thank you, fucking Dr Ruth. No, this is actually funny. I guessed like tomorrow, like I could, actually, I could actually work for pure Romans tomorrow. All of the guys. What I want you to listen to this is because eventually you'll be able to stick something in the back door, something in the front door. GAGGER MOUTH TIRE hands. Go Out and get a fucking pizza. Come back in an hour. She's satisfied. Yeah, you're full. Can Boast it down and watch fucking game of thrones and and that's it. You're good to go for another day. Exactly. Make sure it's a handle. So and you know, get them out. Get it out. Yeah, be careful, don't be shoving cucumbers up there and egg plants. You know, people are starving and we're shoving shit up our asses. So at. But also, if you're listening, if you can develop a line of vegetables with handles, you are going to be a bazillionaire, because they can fuck your dinner before you eat it. I mean, come on, it doesn't want, you know, a little anus to go with their dinner. I know, honey, there's something different about this squash. Why? Yes, it has a handle. Does that mean Dune, Dune, Dune. Yes, it was up my ass. Wow, how about this carrot? Get ready for the salad. The Salad, the roughage, anal cucumber. And on that note, we can find out what's next on your list, unless, of course, there's some possible thing about anal toys. You still need to tell us. What is that? See you how to Segue with the with the cleaner to. I think you needed to start the show where that. I know. It's okay, cleaner. Need a good cleaner. Folks in there. We're going to edit it. Use It for continuity. Before you do it and then after you do it, and that's a good old soap and water. Don't do it, you know I mean I got to wash, I keep covid off my body by with some hot soap and water, but I got to buy some toy fucking shit to. That's better than that, right. Yes, is that? It's not just that, it's better. I mean antibacterial. So Uh Huh, that will kill things as well. It's what does it kill? To you? Why does it kill? It kills funguses, Ob guses. Got To use that thing enough to not ever got to get a fungus on it. You just just common sense. What that? That's why you do it? Yeah, it's wey cleaner. Honey, you guil those old moldy. You haven't used it in a month. What the fuck, lady? I go and spend good money on these things. The cleaner is mostly to keep it so it doesn't get rough, it doesn't break in the little steams like. It depends on what your toy is made out of, like latex and things like that. You don't want it to split open and then you instir it it and then you don't clean it right and then it forms bacteria to it. Oh my God, what I have a nice toy cleaner. That's why they make toy cleaner. They don't make it so that you have to, you know, purchase like an extra ten like whatever comic book thing. You got to buy one to play with and one to keep on the show, something like that. Yeah, it's well worth it. And let me just say a bottle of that stuff I bought from pure romance, like I want to say, I don't know, like a year ago. Oh, you're not just dropping links, to drop the product mentions to the links. I'm a fucking way behind here. Like, talk all you want about this shit, like I pure romance episode right now. You're a romance. Yeah, your romance. Like I said, I'm going to drop the length of my friend Arran's page. Okay, I think it's Purel Romance these days. Like,...

...honey, did you bring on the parrel? I sure did, and a new mask for you to baby. Oh my gosh, that I got some rubber gloves. I haven't touched myself in weeks. The governor said not to. Now that we've found from cleaner to Loum, do not use purel as alum. Oh, you'll get it a wake up call. Oh my gosh, you might as well just bray some peppers ray down there. Okay, that's that's like when you when you wake up, a threehum to brush your teeth and you grab the Ky and that's also a good wake up, like what the hell? Out to the toothpaste and you'll be slipping. Smile. I've tasted this somewhere else before this, but it was more efficient at the time. That's not cool, gate and don't use to be toothpastes as a lubricant works both plays. You don't want that sting of the met on their own some so sounds like common sense to me. Yeah, common sense. There's also certain essential oils you should not use because they actually destimulate the important parts. They relax them, and that's what they're supposed to do. So you got to be careful because you'll get an assortment of essential oils and there's something that'll that'll make it not work and you're like, what's fucking here? are like the fucking a, such a oils, fucking Hippie Shit, and there are Sammy, some cold gate, some essential oils and lubes that are actually not good for God good. Yeah, read the ingredient. I know this room experience. They may feel good at first, all of a sudden you're like chafing to death and you're killing your partner. And some of these things that heat up to sometimes they that, sometimes they go aloft. You know, you're like, what the fuck is happening? It's like the beds on fire. It's like the whole peppers ray down there. You don't have to go for that. Don't go for that reathing. Should go to what am I saying? Pure Romance Room. There you go, I'll get it. I'll get it. You should go up. Youre Ro mats and you'll learn all about it. They do. They have a lot of like water based ones, which are great because they're the ones that don't end up all sticky and everything like that. You know. Yeah, so you don't want to be stuck with someone who's like who baby? Grab that all the grab the baby oil and after you use it you like, Oh my God, I feel horrible, feel like I have a coating of plastic on me at that point, and baby oils like the worst. Oh Yeah, everything. or The vasoline. There you go. These are to be used in case of emergency. Yeah, if you need vasiline down there, you might as well use some wd forty as well. Yeah. Or what's the old saying? From the north, from the south, pull a little slab or out of your mouth natural hey got that's not on the website. That's fucking freak, and you get that for free. Yeah, baby, that is very, very true. You know, that's just not as fun, I guess. Definitely know that's Lube and Third World Nations Batten Armpit Sweat. Exactly that's what they probably just reach right under their pits and you actually fuck the pits. Then a horse can do two at a time. Maybe had a pit job. Never heard of a pit job, not since bright. Yeah, me neither. I just made it up. Did you say a horse job or horses job? The horse could do four. That's so, I said. A whore. Bring up the LOUVER. Brhm, that's funny. A Horse job sounds as like a horse's job, of horse job. And she gave me a really good horse job last night. Really, what's out on me? Broke my back. That rolled me all night. Yeah, yeah, Gideon, with cold gate and KI jet. It was kind of tingling. I don't know where. She in all the right places. Yeah, I found that Carr yet, though. See, that's the one thing we can impersonate. Crackers. There you go, and horses crackers. Yeah, dumb people. What's your best dumb pression? I lost my toll. I can find it. It's lipped in the back door and I ain't seen it yet. Grandma, I have and pull it out, get the lawn Mower, take your team out first. It's a pretty good cracker impression exactly. It's like, yeah, you get that MIT that we examinate the cow with. We're going in deep rampas using it fucking RAMPA. Here we are,...

...we're laughing away. We are just like twenty minutes of laughter. You know, we are going to do a podcast. Is Our hundred episode. Is just going to be an hour of beauty laughing exactly from the first show to the the hundredth, and then we're just going to be counting one too. WHOO, there you go. Let Make Fun of her laughing, though that's when she stopped. So it's weird, weird anti laugh effect. So as you point something out to someone and like don't, I'm not doing that anymore. I ain't laughing no more. You make me, you try and make me with you clever banter about sex toys. You believe, like feathers can be like, not like vib readers or anything, but like tickling for pleasure. People actually do that. They get off on being tickled. Well, I thought you talked about that in your fette show. We did. That was the fetishes. But yeah, there are all sorts of vibrators. You know. We were talking about, you know, the rabbit, which is the like the most popular one, but they're also like clits. World vibrators as well. It's like just for the click. You know. I'm thinking about it and getting off right now. No, she's not. Yes, I I could tell you if she was. They said there are like so many different ones. So if there's a spot you can want us look at drew rules. How big ones, little ones? You can buy all sizes. You can put them next to your bed like the bars on your cell phone, the smallest the biggest. That's world vibrators. She's about vibrators. Can't find your duce about? Get a toy, it'll find it for you. Yeah, if that actually existed. Moving on, it's a popular man. How the hell do you think I wouldn't be a both s whoosh without my GE spile? Now I know it's for real. This is another thing I want to tell guys now, if you're listening and you're young and you're just getting into this, you can have intense sex with a woman and after she comes like three or four times, she'll laugh. She'll start laughing. You know, it's just a whole total relief. Don't think she's laughing at you, dude. That's what happens to serial killers, you know, she's laughing with is. She's laughing Cuz it was fun and she's having a good time. You don't have to kill her as a result. Okay, moving on. It's or not that I've done that. It's sorry. Yeah, okay, as a Max woman do crazy things. Sometimes they laugh. What as they cry? So as they screamed Daddy, you never know what the fuck's gonna Happen. And when he hit that g spot, though, boy, you know that. You fucking know that. There ain't no at that point. It ain't a mystery. It's just like, Whoa, what happened? It's any can you know? Dudes? It's like my buddy has a chimney, okay, and it doesn't rain. Water doesn't come down that chimney unless it's going at the winds blowing a certain mile per hour, and rains going at a certain angles. The same thing with the geesepot. Sometimes just takes that one little angle, you know, just getting look up the DU and there you go, and that's that's history. And then she's in love with you and wants to have your babies. It does happen. I Gott, I hate you. And then you give them a no and they're like, Hey, will you call me again, please? Yes, if you have been fortunate enough to find the G spot. Yeah, lease, let us know it. Beauty and the beast show sixty nine at GMAILCOM. Yeah, Hashtag Ramma Lama Ding Dong. When that Be Rama Lama G spot? No, you usehould Ding Dong to get to it. You Ramma Lama Ding Dog. The Lama is the condom which we should talk about. Your vibrate. We're vibrating now. Guys can vibrate to guys can vibrate with Cock Rings, Oh boy, and those have a little clit, you know, devices on them. So this is an equal opportunity fucking vibration thing here. Little clits them, you laters. Exactly. Those are the best. And Oh my God, so many different cockerings. They have leather ones, they vibrating one, but in my in my personal opinion, the elastic ones that you can quickly get off if you need to are sometimes the best, because it's just like you don't want to be in the ear with something up your ass. You don't want to be any are with a fucking for our herd on. You can't get as some metal cockering. Somebody convinced you you could fit in. Okay, start digging, work your way down. I just squeeze my balls and yeah, that's Oh please, please God. It's not enough ice in the world to get that boner down there. Young Man, I'm gonna going with a welding torch. Get The fucking thing off of me, doc, okay, go through laugh like this with a bone her all day. Well, you should used the elastic one, young man. They come with literals to stimulators on them. In the end, since they move around, the woman can grab it and use it as she pleases. Well,...

...thank you, I'll make a mental note of that. Doc. Get the fucking cockering off men. And Hey, case you made a mental note of that. Metal. Note Metal Cock. Right, doctor's not into puns at this point. You know, we got down the business. Work's time with a fucking torch and doesn't want to burn your junk off. Then you gotta go fuck up a fucking jury and you know, they got to show your burnt junk to twelve fift and people and he get fifty million dollar. Maybe it's worth it, I don't know. Go out there and get that small Cock ringk today. You'll enjoy it yeah, enjoy the lawsuit that you get tomorrow. You can split someone out with me. Amazing. So what else we got to play with here? Well, there's these fullblown sex dolls. Okay, now, are these just that bachelor parties, because anybody's really banging these things? I just don't know. Now I know there's these five thousand dollar Japanese models that are lifelike. Guys are there. So they're so lifelike guys are fucking marrying them. That's they're right. Okay, they associate with being a robot, but you know, I'm talking about your basic running the mill Spencer gift blow up down a dirty sex doll like I'm hoping people are giving these away as gag gives. Wow, actually using them, shoe. I rather fuck a piece of fruit. There you go. There that's your vitamins. At the same time, you know where's Wilbur's out the funking patch fucking up pumpkins again. Well, have you seen that sex doll we boughtom no, I haven't seen it. GRANDPA got it. GRANDPA's using it at a Graba. He's using it. Is Full float's coma bag that, guys. Well, that'd be cool. You go to a party at all. All these sex dolls are floating in a full different colors and sizes. That would be awesome. You know what I love the best about sex dollars is the surprise look on their face, like they don't know what's coming. What trading me. It's like squeak, squeak, squeak, yea, like, Babe, my breaths inside of you. I blew you up myself. I didn't use no inflatable pump. That's all me inside. That's all me, and there, baby, it's like I smells like Jack Daniels and Winston Cigarette. GRANDPA, I've been blowing up my sex doll again. Damn it, GRANDPA, when he does it smells like moonshine. You just look pass me to Kogate. Here we all gonna fuck else sex doll to night, just to punish you hell. You fucking in Pumpkins like Grandma's gonna get her freak on how you expected to sell Damn Pumpkins with a hole in it? It's not how, Sagan, it's not how it's premate, Jack Lanard. It's like what you do dick out of that Pumpkins to dig out the Pumpkin? WHO's Pumpkin? Put it in this pie. I seen that movie. Oh yeah, I can find a hot that. That sure's like fucking a VAGINTA. Thank you. Count on the media for this stuff. You know, Hollywood. This is why. This is why, when Hollywood tries to tell you any fucking thing, you should not listen. Okay, because they're making fucking movies about people fucking pies. Okay, so don't hold them up to any higher level. Alrighty, I don't care, Brad Pitt, who the fuck they are? All right, apple pie does not make a great loub be there, because you're just gotta end up sticky. Yeah, or the whip cream really? Yeah, yeah, got, they do all like everyone's all like, oh, let's go get some whip cream and put it's like, Oh my God, are you kidding me? And that like ten minutes out in the air and it starts to rot on their flash. Basically just, Oh my God, just get sticky and then you get stuck together and it's just like now I will watch two women wrestling it. Sure, why not? Yeah, that's fine. Yeah, Jello, mud pudding, pudding, yeah, I was gonna say footing. We just send it at the same time. We gotta try harder next time. I know, right. Yeah, pudding. What else? Have I seen them wrestling and ice cubes once. That was very short match. That was a cold yeah, but they're going naked, naked snow wrestling. So back to the subject of toys. If you had a naked if you were naked snow, what were you doing? Naked in the snow, naked, snow wrestling, and it's snow wrestling. Then you have I still dose, and then you can just freeze them yourself and then they're just hello the exactly. Yeah, you ice fucking Queens out there. You love it cool, hard of bitches. They're perfect. And you know, we even have a great one for virgins. We have the cherry flavored, right, you know, that's the others. They common flavors, like you know. That's except for this road. That's another thing that's supposed to be so great. Edible panties. Oh my God, have you ever tried to eat some of else? Look, you're better just...

...getting a roll up, yeah, attaching it. There you go, a little fruit roll up fucking Thong. There you go, make them yourself. Exactly. You don't want to get some liquorice box. Are you break? Man? It's from the box of the store. Are Horrible. They're worse and horrible. Might as well eat the cardboard that I came honey, I was really turned on till I started eating your panties and, Oh my God, now I think I need to go to the Yar. And you next to the guy with the thing up his ass and a guy with a cock rag, and now you're the guy who's, you know, overdosing on Panties, like Crossy, the snow bitch, next to cramp right, he's got a nice still the stock upper, waiting for it to melt. fucking cast of characters. We got here because of sex toys, just because the sex toys all right, springs out. Wasn't rock music, no, it was. They were listening to rock music while they were having sex with that toys. But that's a whole different thing. It is, you know, it's like the motion of the ocean, you know, and you do have to do. Have your transformer. You have talked about that. We have talked about cornering the market on transformers that turn into sex toys. Yes, so that the guy can like it and it can be on the bed and this is cool transformer and then later on it's it's a whole nother thing. Optimis prime just became do best friend. This is fucking genius. It is. Where are we doing this? Why are we doing this? We're making a podcast about sex toys. It's that copyright infringement would be a big part of it, but they don't have to be transformer. It's right. I'm end of the Italian market. There's Japanese knockoffs all over the place. YEA, get to work on this. And another thing I've never seen is like personalized, you know, but plugs with a logo on them. You know, why isn't anyone doing this? There's limited sh TAMAGOTCHI's. You were killing. Why aren't they license character? fucking betty book Buildos and stuff. Come on, what's old is new. It just costs more. Exactly like you know, go with the classics, and I'm getting you a pain anther. You know, it's got a little pop prints on the fucking side of it. It's a Pink Panther vibrator, limited edition. Now not only have sex with it, you can sell it years later as a collectible. There we go. I get anything with it. Elvisone. I got mean Elvis but plugged grace lea an the other day. I might not ever use it, but it does have the king's face on it. So many yeah, I will nothing but a but ply. I'm making no promises now at I'm going back next week for the limited edition Elvis Dildo. It's a double Buildo. He's rolling some snake eyes. He's Colonel Parker, still making fucking money. It is grave off elves. Shit, I out right yeah, like I'm dead, but I'm still raping your ghosts. The ELL was the king of dildos, the King of the thing of the afterlife. Yeah, so why aren't they limited? You know, why won't you go to say you go to a convention, to Hershey Hotel there. Why don't you get in that limited edition chocolate comfort final break here, but the Hershey logo on it. This is Oh my God, that would taste. The smell like child. What's happening here? Why aren't these things happening? That would be amazing. The pink pandom could smell like bubble gum. Hell, yeah, right, is the smell like bubble? Don't some bubble gum of but what the fuck sticky situation. But that's what they need a seul oils for. You know, fuck this sage and Patrulli. I want Bakon and Cherry frosting. They do have one, a birthday cake lube from pure romance, and it tastes delicious. Some things were on the subject. I have no fucking clue. Let's go to pure hero and you put handles on the Pussy and blow them out. No, it's a loop. That taste like breth. They ca you gotta get you have the whole thing, though. You gotta wrap that baby up there and the package offlow, the candles out. Somebody needs the cake, which is also for you know, from now on, folks with it, with the pandemic, no one will ever be blowing out the candles on their cake again, or they'll have to can. They'll have two cakes, ones, the blowing out the candles cake, the other one the one we eat cake, because they no fucking way you're blowing on my cake anymore. You know. Yeah, no, they have no more blowing. No, I think a lot of people discovered sex toys during this pandemic, myself. They they at least a few ladies got found their g spots. I know that's true. Yeah, pretty much. It's like when there's nothing else to do and he can't go anywhere, it's time to pull out the toy box. And then a lot of husband's, a lot of boyfriends, a a lot of lovers, a lot of girlfriends are all getting there. There Tenzero,...

...oh medallion, exactly, gotta go. No, to give my woman. That's right, orgasms has gone on. Thousand orgasms later, we're still happily married. It's fucking crazy. This is not I gotta tell you. Guys, if you want to stay married, yeah, you might go out, you might, you know, there's a lot of women in the world, but as long as should take care of business, you know, things will work out. This is what Horsetell, or hookers or whatever, I saw him on Sally Jesse Raffiel, wants, telling all the women that if you just gave good head, half of us would be out of a work. So, ladies, if you want to give your man happy, and I'm telling you right now, you get them pretty much to do anything, because guys getting blow jobs, that's a whole different thing. You know, they can really like Hey, do you remember me twenty years ago I gave you a blowjob behind the stadium and like, Heck Yeah, I remember you, baby, but remember any fucking thing else about the day or the week preceding or the week fucking followed? But they remember that that blow job after the game, that's for sure. Like a blow job is a gift that keeps on giving. There like will you do the wash, honey? Well, it's like, well, I'll give you a poachop while it's on a spin cycle. Heck yeah, I'll do the wash. Like now we're talking. Now that's a little wise and wash. Hey, neighbor, you got some wash? That's why it's like there's all these great, you know, different things that you can take. There's other sprays that you can get that numb the back of your throat if you're like getting into deep throating. So it's like, ladies, pay attention to this and they have a great cinnamon spray at pure romance that will do just that and it relaxes it so that you don't gay. It is fantastic. And I have a friend, Melissa, that has actually taken these pills that you can take. Wait, no, no, no, Mossa, I'm making a noteman her husband can actually take them and while she's blowing him, when his come comes out, it tastes like a Pina Colada. Ha Ha, I'm not kidding. Let me be a penis KLATTA. Come, I have penis CONKA. Guess they have all these things that you can use take. Well, it doesn't matter. It's what it tastes like. Okay, because must of the women are like that's poison. Don't even get it near me. Okay, Oh my God, a pet? No, the one I like. You Got Jiss on my dress. I'm gonna have to take you to court now. Oh yeah, that's like. That's why I can't use your furby for sex. They say years from now when you sell it on Ebaby. But what the fuck is with this furby? Is if it's just for me, isn't? It's all clumped. They're like the sex robot you bought last week. Don't buy you sex robot. I told you the hey, you just gotta get out of the Leggy. Maybe that's a toy too, though. Wigs, wigs, yeah, they hell. Would you fuck a wig now? You wouldn't. You put it on the woman or the man? What a fuck ns on there. So totally different person, but there's the same fucking person you've been fucking. Yeah, I want to tell you something to Jello. Jello. Okay, this Jello is how the curtains and the rug match, if you know what I'm saying. If you're out there with blue hair, beautiful blue hair, your pussy hair should be blue too, and you can do it with Jello because it's completely non toxic. It makes yourself up a bat that of course, that's if you still have hair down there, because most women do not. Baldy. Go, yeah, I got a big blue smear like a fucking SMURF. Yeah, then it goes into the whole smurf thing and oh my gosh, if you really want to be messed up, just Google Um Donnie Darko talking about smart Oh, smurfform, I was forres no such thing. It's all gay porn. There is no, no, no, I can show you dude in a chick and oh that's something different. It's not the smurfs. Yeah, now they're all like blue body pain. Yeah, I get that look really mess you off, but if you want to mess that out, go watch Donny Darko's explanation of why smurfs don't aren't fucking SMURFAT. It'll ruin you. And in fact, at the end of it they say, Danny, you're always fucking up stuff for us, and I was like, well, there goes that vision again. Yeah, you have some good smurf porn. What the Hell? Yeah, come on, SMURFETT getting the game. Smurfforne is a woman master beating with a little smurf. There you go, thinking of the animated series and they were all like gang banging her or something. No, that's what goes on in my no, but you masturbate with us. God, I'm telling you what. Watch Johnny Darko. He'll ruin it for you. Very Sexual. They don't even have sex organs smurfs, because their cobalds. Oh Wow, yeah, they don't even have sex organs. So there's no there's no use. Yeah,...

...no, grappas Murf wasn't filming it. NOPE, no, there was no smart for Ye, no, Papa smurf, that's what he was. Yeah, Papa smurfo. So there was no maximur fed around a little. I don't know, I don't know, but like she was just to show their purity of heart or something. It's it's weird symbolism. It's really deep for a stupid car, too, really too deep for a stupid to speaking about going deep they have. I'm going back to wait, what looks like. Yeah, which way we going? Now? are going in the back door again, in the back door. Yes, they have all sorts of anal plugs out there, from, you know, starter plugs to like, Whoa Mama, is a truck parking in there plug? Yeah, and then it was that you like, Suction Cup on the wall and then they leave it there and forget it's on the wall and take a selfie later. Now, no, no, this is just Sucking Cup, all right. Yeah, like, ladies, come on, if you're gonna take a nice, pretty Selfie, take the DILDO. Awesome Wall or the wall? Yeah, put it away, and your naked husband or otherwise lover shouldn't be standing in a mirror. It's like we see it. Yeah, that's my best. You know, it is like just looking through selfies and seeing all the dildos in the pictures. Yeah, yeah, unless you're on Instagram, and then they want you to see the Dell Dout, for sure. I know right. It's like I'm checked out my new toy. Lately, I show you as much as I possibly could, drive you to my funding and my crowdfunding pageant to see my tat on a regular basis. It's only thirty a month exactly. I'll sound e by ten and it's like, oh no, mom, you're on my instagram. Crap, crap, yeah, but I'm not as well. Good thing on it next to grandma. I thanks grandma. Thanks for the toy. I could you imagine, like if your grandmother gave you a Dildo or something by accident, like, Whoo, what I said? It was a lightsaber. Here, Johnny. If this is one of those star wars things I've heard about, it's like grandma not really ill. A sudden, Johnny's very popular with the housewives and black since he got his new Lightsaber, like daddy got a doll. That's guys like, Oh, I can't believe it. The Star Wars Saga is over. It's over and is wastch like, let me borrow your Lightsaber, honey, I be right back while you commiserate about your buckets. Star Wars movie, I got needs, man, I'm on crack right now. A weris be oh, with the whole, like with the whole the back. Yeah, just one. One fucking grew some fun after another. If you're looking to get off RT, you matter stuff. It is talking. Well, that's what that's what was thinking to beginner. But plugs, you know, you start with ear plugs. If you can fucking hack that, you know, maybe you're on the road to recover. But I'll stick an ear plug up there, because you'll never get it right. You'll never get it back. But you know, anybody might absorb that small enough. It'll just block your cold and cuts you like you'll be in the fuck anyr. What you do? There's a pipe clog Yuh, get back to your whole story. Okay, the whole story we're talking about. You know, it's like the the carpetage to match the drapes and yes, that yes, you know, he's you know, no carpet there and everything. Well, there's a great cream. It's called coochie shaving cream. I know Coochie is one of your favorite words, right, like Hugie. But yes, it's like if you're going to shave down there, this is where. This is for men and women. Yes, definitely try out the COOCHIE shave cream. Like it will make everything like smooth. They even have like the after stuff to put on. And again it's like it doesn't cost any more than what you buy from the store, except for this is a lot better for your skin. Like don't use the stuff that he can get from the store because that's like alcohol based and everything. So it's like you make one cut or one nick, it's like you're in trouble. I thought that was part of the fun. I don't think so. Do you have a big DICK SHAPE RAZOR? God, imagine just one bug look and all the hair comes out. And Brazilian waxes online. Do It at do it at home. My God, Zip. So I get the duct another one for the AR victim of a hot wax she bought on the fucking Internet. It's like hop you got that coochie cream, honey. The best is when the guy wants to help. Oh my God, stay away, like it's but it's so sexy I just want to say, like Freddy Krueger, get the fuck out of here. The Fuck my beaver.

Just cringe thinking about it. I got raises for fingers. Bitch, I'll shave each other. There's no tomorrow. Till there's no tomorrow. Don't you mean like there's no tomorrow. I don't fucking know what I mean. I'm looking at your cun it's like, well, there goes my flicks, slit and the whole new meaning of the words slip. That's right. Are you sure? You're five sponsors quote. Friends are gonna be like, you know, you really had us when that guy came on. We love that I'm beauty, and then as soon as that guy saying that I'm beast, it was fucking off. It was over for us. We know we're educating along. Oh God, we're kind of it's going to be another version where she edits me out completely and then she's just laughing hysterically at nothing. No, no, no, no, we are keeping it as it, keeping me in. There you go the and the beast gets by. Another word past. It's not just the beauty show, it's and the beast show. There you go. Stick together, fuck those sponsors together like horrible loo. You know, we stick together like bad cosplay. And remember cospaize, not consid. Just got to get through this. This fucking cosplay is good. Things gonna fall apart. Cosplay is not consent unless you are consenting cosplayer exactly, and you're paying fucking thirty dollars a month to see that shit on. What is it? Patrion? Yeah, Patreen, Patreon, I thought. I think it's called Patreon, because you're patronizing people that you actually they actually think that that they deserve the money you're sending them. I know they're like here, look at my boobs, and then you see him at cosplay events. Don't touch my boobs, don't, don't, I'm gay. That's another thing that's gonna blow out of guys minds. You know, that's that the diva of their dreams they see on wwe and they're jerking off through was actually likes girls. Surprise, yeah, that Cosplaer. She's hot. WHOA, she likes girls, Dude. Yeah, but she'll take your money anyway. It's no problem. Exactly. Yeah, women are giving her that money to jerk off. Nope, no, women don't care about that Shit. That's right. Men Invented Shit. Men invented is zerox machine just so they could copy pictures of playboy and give it her friends. Yes, no, fucking other reason. It wasn't for office, you know, it wasn't for productivity. It was to Xerox tits. That's right, all great technology is built on that. Why is there an Internet? Oh, because of the defense, though, because we want to look at tits. Oh, okay, it's in coochies. It's right, there's playing that online and I need to pay for that. Yeah, yeah, so much free porn. The season nowasing and they want to give it to you free because they want to keep that little porn industry so they can use that at your trial. I'm doomed. This is it. Your Ulgi and the last things he watched and his last days were pigtailed cheerleaders, three way squirts and I can't even fucking say the last one. Okay, moving right along. All right. Are there any other are there any special toys that you have? I do not have any special toys. I get them for other people who I'm the special toy? I can do a lot. You're very giving. I'm very let me see, I've been fucking for I don't know, fifty years now, so you know I better have it right. But now couples and toys, couples in Troys, it can be fun. I personally think that, as much as you want to get a woman so toys, the first thing you should get is just that general massaging vibrator thing. Use It on her back, use it on her neck. Oh, wait a minute, it's on that nice little spot at the bottom of your back. Oh doesn't that feel good? Now it's on your ass cheeks. So you do one double duty here, guys. You're actually giving them with such you actually have to suck it up and give that massage, but the whole time you're getting her used to the feeling of this vibrating thing. Because, believe me, if you just jump out of the closet, I'm fucking buildoad one here and a vibrator or another, just like a furry she's gonna fucking either be like Oh baby, or you will never see her again. You will never even. She won't even get you won't even. It'd be like teleportation. That's how Fatul he had a fucking room. If she's not into that Shit. So you kind of figure this stuff out, guys, can't just whip this stuff out. Sometimes, like I love them. I thought I was going to marry him. Then I found I was in a butt plugs and fucking her. She kissed...

...dildos and yeah, the pink canter one. Hey, he was like, he's gonna Shave my couchie. What the Fuck is rock? I was gonna marry you. They can't keep this. Gonna have my children now. I don't know if I could trust them around children. And Oh my God, where did he think he's gonna stick that Big Dilda? That's right, like, I don't think so. I I am not back to this is Dudo. My grandmother loved me in her will. I was gonna use it on you. Yeah, I'd rather have the diamond ring, honey. It was the only thing that GRANDPA has left. It's right. Yeah, Thatten at all. You know what it all is. It's a wooden handle with a point that you used to punch leather, and he said to me, one day this all will be yours. But I had to get a punny. You fucking been doing it the whole show, so I not well moved up for that one. Yeah, there you go. I got out of my sister right in there, and I don't think you said, you know, even once. Wow, but I don't know if to review the tape like I will actually do that, like I know we did at the beginning. But yeah, anyway, how about let's talk about some sex shops? You know, sex shots. They don't exist anymore, really online. Yeah, like the of course, to be crazy shit out there time square back in the day, oh my God. Now, I grew up in Philly. I didn't grow up there, I relocated and then grew up there. They had doc Johnson's. There was sands street. That was the big joke. All the porn all the dancers, all the DOC Johnson's leisure products, they were called. Was the biggest dildo story ever wanted to see. He was an innovator, which is really funny because recently a local person got their MBA and now they're doc Johnson, ha ha ha, and they have no idea. There was a whole chain of sex stores named after them at one point, but they cleaned all that shit up, you know. And then, the course, the price of Dildos went through the roof. Let's face as I hate when the sex toy market went where. It went like, oh, that's thousand dollars for that, a thousand dollars, I'd buy a roar use card show that up my ass. You might as well for those Fra might as well for that money. Might as well. Yeah, might is thats the video and a one year guarantee. Well, they're all well. That makes it all worth while. Yes, some of them do have guarantees and warranties on them, and I know one that I've purchased from pure romance. It does have a lifetime warranty, but you got to take care of it and everything like. You cannot leave your batteries in the Duldo. Once you're done with it, you have to remove the batteries because if you don't and they corrode the battery, yeah, the battery compartment and everything like that, and it short circuits it, then your shit out lock. So you want to keep these nice toys a nice freezy hair cut there. And the other thing, though, is if those fucking batteries are corroding there, you're not using it enough. Hello again, she should be sitting around gathering does mold, fungus or the batteries corroding? If in fact they are, just go get your want. went out of battery in it. You don't even to worry about it. Use that the way back. Clean in it. Yes, that last stuff freaks me out sometimes. I know glass breaks. I broke it enough of them. I see this stuff on Mike. I'm not putting that in you. I just can't do it. I really enjoy my glass. We got my favorite one. You know that. It's not the back it's not for the back door, though, but it is shake amazing. Oh, I can smoke out of it. Hell Yeah, Hell Yeah, hell yeah, it is some awesome tells. The other stuff again. Yes, last Dildo, the doubles as a pipe. There you go, exactly the selling a thousand of those, get your girl off and then have a good bowl of weed afterwards. That that you smoke? That, folks, nobody does. You might need that for this episode. Just a myth. You need that for this episode. There's a toy for you. Number whether that that kind of crap. I remember when Amile nightrates got real big on the gay scene and we couldn't keep those in at the pharmacy and work out. It was so bizarre. Guys coming out like, Oh, what do you need those for? Ha, and then finally it was like the one guy just dealt with him, he saw him coming. So sex shops, there's not. There's a couple of Atlantic city now there's yeah, and one, just one under renovation, which they change the mannequins in the window. It's still the same CS fucking place it was before. It's just under new management with some new dolls in the window. And unfortunately they're in places you don't even want to go a lank city anyway, which is basically anywhere off the boardwalk for any reason. And you know it's funny. They used to double as give me a break, guys, you would go to...

...watch a porno in a video store. You don't have to do that anymore. So the only reason they go do that it's good. You want to meet another guy, let's face it, and so that was a big part of why they get rid of all that stuff. I can remember in Philly man or, if you've ever been the time square. That was like grow was kind of perverted sexual wonderland. You know, that was a fucking boys stores and candy stores there. But well, you can just feel the vibe when he got off at the Port Authority. It's like somebody getting lucky tonight. Wow. Oh Yeah. But but the big one is, of course, the trip you make to Amsterdam. Those guys who make that annual pilgrimage there and like, honey, it's just for business, is like yeah, monkey business. Fifty Euros. Oh, yeah, that I ever did it. I just would escort people there for the for the freebies. That's sure. Now, actually, if you've ever said it, stayed in a hostile in a in a dope smoking country. Like answering me. It's a fucking fun time. My next vacation has just been playing. Yeah, it's a lot of fun. I know they crack down a lot, but the couple of times I was there, wow, yeah, we met freaks of all kinds. I must have spent two hours with one girl I could we didn't speak. It's just big warnings and I speak word of whatever the fuck it was she was speaking, but it didn't matter, and that's that's that's that's what I think people are afraid when they legalize marijuana, that that's what the whole country will turn into one big heathen, mystic fuck fast where everybody stoned all day. And I'm like, well, so what? Look when it is fucking now, how is that worse? Right now, that could happen. So right now would be a perfect time to test its. Yeah, no way. If we're social distancing and being six feet apart, unless you have those six foot cock then yeah, it's not how six foot dildo with like D cells in it? It only runs for five fucking minutes and you got to replace the batteries again. Oh, what about the mechanical toys being talked about? Those ones? I know we were just talking about mechanical toys. Oh, you mean like the fucking this Jesus that the Simians or whatever they're come simulator. Yeah, the ones are like hooked up. That's I'm telling you, that's the future. Things like honey, I'm going to get a pizza and bowl with the boys, but you said I bought you that fucking fuck machine. I spent good money on that. I expect you to fuck that thing get all right, I'll start the chains. Look, I pulled the two hundred and ninety last week. I know I can break three hundred. Turn it up. Could you imagine those things like speed, like tearry? You new one, like Oh my God, and then you see that on Patreot. Yeah, people would pay to see that. I'm sorry if it puts another person in pain, even though it was pleasure, people will pay for it. Well, I know there's Cam girls have voice activated or otherwise. The technology's built into them. So when people tip them in their camera room. It makes their vibrator run for certain amount of time. Oh yes, yeah, so the more money the guys willing to give up with, the longer the girl is just exactly and it's like hey, you're torturing her, sir, there is a point where you should give her a break. I'm like keep going. I actually got some monitor one of those rooms one time. I have a friend and friend in Canada that does this. So I get to see all the amazing toys that they have up there and I'm like, Whoa think about? Up there is their dollar coin. It their dollar is not a bill, it's a coin. So you can throw those at the strippers and they hate it. Is that way they have like no tea. That's why they have like screens up. The thing about strippers in Canada they ain't like the ones in America. Folks, you can't touch them, and they'll tell you that. The fact they'll scream it out in front of everyone during their routine, as opposed to the girls down here, were like okay, anything you say, they're touching you the minute they see you. I know right, is like here we go. That you feeling? Yeah, I remember, I used to do comedy and yes, so, yes, yes, that's how I always had to come to the late show. So I always make sure my mom and sister had left. I'll make that up to your mom hasis promise. Yeah, this were some good old times. Yeah, and the brunt of my jokes. I hope they're doing well during this pandemic. I hope they have enough toys in their...

...toy box. Yeah. Well, the funny thing is my mother lives in Arizona. At the beginning of all this, are like fuck that Covid Shit, that's just a myth. And now they're like dying. And because it didn't take it seriously to begin with. So, but they carry guns and they were thought that they were going to shoot to Covid, but I guess it didn't work. She's the shoot rattlesnakeed can't shoot to covid. Nineteen Goddamn, God, Damn. You find the Gese Bodys. I find in the COVID like hey, won't wear a mask. Well, will he wear a ventilator? Yeah, they didn't take it seriously and Fort Shooting. Only now. The the weirdest part was right at the beginning of the pandemic, she had a stroke that landed her in the hospital. So she did her three week quarantine in Rehab, being cared to buy nurses, eating good food, getting sudden reading a lot of books. So, like Moma, you know you okay. So, AH, this is fucking awesome. I should be pandemics were all its good, the first vacation I've had years. I'm glad she's doing good. A lot of people say that really did. I really haven't had time off and I was in a hospital for two weeks. It was the best rest I've had. Yes, that's vacation. I was UNCONSCIO forew view of it, but so is I in Bermuda, so whatever. I wonder if people look if they're going to be long term in a hospital, would they take any toys with them? Do you think anybody's ever like masturbated in a hospital? Now there's other stuff goes on there. I could tell you. People will masturbate you, and that's one yes, you will master right now is will be in there long enough. That's for sure. You're a monkey. What the fuck you gonna do? I'm not talking about the guys. I don't know about the girls. I just imagine all men like her, like me, off whagon in some corner somewhere and for any fucking reason. Yeah, I mean, I would go not. You see the back of the thigh beating off. You know. You're like, I'm going to be good today. Well, your chores, you know, and all your Karma points and you're like, Oh, I out to myself, keeps me young. It's like, meanwhile, me playing animal crossing, I'm like, yeah, this, speeches look like vaginas. I'll be right back of great three weeks later. Yeah, they please. There's a there's a food fetish for it, see, and that's what like a guy. You know, I was good all day. Then I saw a peach and fucking that was all out the window. It's right. That's what I'm screaming or moaning. Ever I saw the circus. There was a midget and and knee highs riding a horse, and I've been jugging off for days. And I mean it's like the slightest thing is like, wow, why don't they offer a covid nineteen discount, though, when you go to the sex shop there everywhere, it's like look, you've been you've been pain off long enough by its toy. Today and we'll give you ten percent off. I do believe the Pure Romance Site said I'm gonna put them there and's link and everything. I believe they do have some kind of special going on right now. I can't remember what the hell it was, but there's definitely cute one. Yeah, there's always a cute bosom pandemic plus a guys, you gotta get some. You girls to go out and get it. Get some now, and it's going to be a total fuck fest. Now they're finally opening up everything ever was like, Oh my God, I've got to get out, I got to get banged's gonna be like a wave of that goes through. Then everything I'll spike again and everyone will be back in the fucking quarrantine because they were out banging everybody. And then everybody's having coping babies. Yeah, use protection. If you're gonna do that, use protection please. And covid babies, covid bed I'm lucky and we're we're way past the point where we can make babies most because my work got fixed after the second once and no fucking way you ever doing that to me a guy. So now you just try and make babies all day and gonna have. So yeah, well, you can try, because at this point we'd have like fucking ten babies in the fall. Ha Ha, I know, right. Yeah, because I know at least ten of the ties would have been a bang. It would have been zinging, it said, of people, yeah, using their rabbits. They were fucking like rabbit. Yeah, it's so longest time to have a baby me, you know. And then when we finally did, eighteen months later, got another one. When I got the fuck this happened, that girl's right surprise and I was like, let's make another's like, no way, we're done, we're done. Plus they were both sons, so she's like, Holy Shit, I gotta Lie. But three of these fucking guys, it's like, damn it, God, damn it. And the first one's named after him. Whoa, and that happen. Yeah, which I'm the fourth one in the line. That's great. Make it stick like some very bad k why d you like? I gave my son that. I gave him a pass on. You don't have to name your kid after this. Fuck that Shit. So use your imagination. I honestly have none.

So, and I know we're coming to the end here, almost are we? We're getting there, we're getting there. I'll keep time of this. Shit, you know, kind of flies when you're having fun. I never write dragon ass tonight. I hope I'm not dragging us today. Yeah, actually, I went back to the Office for the first day and in months and that was the longest fucking day I can remember in a long time. Like a kid INS wow, like yeah, like my God, I'm gonna go take a shit now. It's just a fucking waste ten minutes, you know, because God is fucking days. Dragon. That's like, man, they well, I hope we didn't drag anybody with this podcast. Oh, call, yeah, everybody's like Horny as hell right now. Oh, your friends are going to give you such a good talk about other gonna be like, we never agree to that. But is in the mists, like I was talking about, you know, places and stuff like that. I know there's a couple around here like the Red Barns, like have you? Oh my God, there's no way I would drive right past that place. In fact, my family owns the property next to that act me, next to that other scumbag dive. I know where. You could just walk in there and ask for a blowjob and basically get one. Yeah, that I know these things, but I was trying to sell that fucking property and no one would buy it because that that. Yeah, you know, and I like maybe the fucking Porno Schopp will by it to explain our parking lot. They're doing such gang buster business. Then a guy told me that both of the well, not that I know these things, but you know, I know these things. The one that I told me that the Red Barn, and that other place, whichever whatever the fuck is called. They're both basically places for the police to watch and get everyone's license tags so they can keep track of the perverts, because I'm fuck. Yeah, basically those are the kind of places that have glory hole ratings online. Not that I know about these things. Are even look into them. I wish she had glory holes, but I mean that would be the little impossible, you know, into a glory hole they got believe. Maybe stick it in there you don't care what's on the other side. Okay, you're you're telling yourself there's a woman there and she looks like, Oh God, she's so awesome as like nail. Okay, and then don't. And then if you ever use all those guys. Don't go. Don't go, thank the person. Then they know it's just leave, just leave, I can leave. Just awful. Hell, yeah, what I live in Philly. I have my friends ran the place and the stories they would tell. And actually they got shut down because they started videotaping when prominent people would come in. So they had they wanted to blackmail those people. And in Philadelphia you can try that Shit. But Day used the days. The soft things, your fashioned way, meaning a baseball bat, is one of the most misunderstood pieces of sports equipment that there is. So that's another thing you got to be careful of is going in these places. These days. There ain't a whole lot of them. So if there's a one store with a big signus says perverts here, did you go there? You know, they pretty much got you pegged. I got you think got hey, gosh, that's one of my face is up there, you know. You know, have you seen this flusher? She made of it a mess in the video preview booth. Boss, I flooded that thing. Yeah, I think they should let you know what insurance. Why don't they have loners? Yeah, Oh, you know, sure, if you're into this Jack Rabbit. Here's a used one. Try this after we cleaned it. Oh, no, that would be hard. Yeah, don't ever use anyways, because I should have a thirty day money back guarantee. No, no, right, like I weaven fucking shit out of each other. Well, it's been twenty eight days. Why don't you return it? I I'm not happy with this. It doesn't go in the right direction. No, definitely, not, definitely. I know one of my other, my favorite places in Delaware is leather central, which they have an amazing array of not just leather, but they have all sorts of Doldos and anal plugs, I think, made out of leather. I think they still have waiting to drop another link. Woman, yes, I am, Oh God, because I used to do their website and one of the owners used to be my talent agents. So, yes, all right, you just take it away then. All right, so I can totally unprepared. Okay, man, I'm going to I'M gonna be quiet, so she can do or. Okay, good, okay, here we go. Take it away. So if...

...you're looking for some toys, some leather, some lube, just go check out Jason at leather central in Delaware and Rhobeth beach. It's like you won't be disappointed. So yeah, that's my little spiel for weather central. They have lots of awesome toys in there as well as leather. And please can we stop saying assless chaps, because all chaps are assless unless they got the plastic and like Prince War that time. Well, yeah, maybe his respective, yes, special one, he has special jazz, but they are all assless unless you're wearing pants. Well, yeah, yeah, Huh, but the chapster still ast Lissa, the chapters an, there's there's no answer them. No Way. Yeah, there's absolutely no ass so we made plenty experience with that. They still don't have as I used to. I used to date a woman got she was awesome and she's like to take me to gay clubs because she just wanted I don't know that Shit. Got Got her off and one night it went so far as I did not wear ashless chaps because I didn't have any clothes on. They were all it was all painted on me. Oh my yeah, and boy did I get bang that night. She was just crazy that night. I can paint fucking pants on me more often, lady. See, yeah, you have to try new things, but I ruined that going after an older woman who then got really bored with me really quick and then when I went to try to go back, HAH yeah, that worked out real good. It's like not happening. It wasn't happening. No, but that's okay, because back in the day didn't matter to fucking me at all because I would be banging to a different girl else the next day. Thank you exactly. That's why, you know, you get caught up in sex toys. A lot of that is, you know, you pleasuring yourself. This is why I don't need one of these fleshlight things. Like the last thing I wanted to be doing. It's clean to my come out of something, you know like that. That's like a want and Dune kind of thing. Yeah, right, I was a man, that would be one and die, like if I'm speaking with my lady cop, that would be like one and does like you just in there throw it all right, this is a disposed it's like the thing cost eighty five dollars everys on three settings. You know, I don't know. I'm sly fucking cause I'm just taking a guess. I think they cost that much. But yeah, I hear you ask your little ladies at the pure room is yeah, they would never probably Jason at leather center as Jason, because I remember seeing the flushlights. That's where I learned about fleshlights. was when I did flush shown wherever you go in Jobe with beach, where do your Chao? Straight's Bleish wasn't name of that place. I didn't work that in Leather Central, leather center. It's the place you wanna be. It is awesome. But then I know now I have to go, God damn it, God damn it, beauty trip and I gotta go see this fucking Guy Jason. And you're there. It's an is in place in Roobeth beach and if you just keep on going down the highway you'll end up in Maryland and before you know it you're at the Red Light district, which is an amazing sex shop. It's like it's like Disneyland. It's not actual red light section right now. It's just called the Red Light Gotcha. I went in there my nun costume, because why the Hell not? So I can usually take the ferry over to Delaware and the first place there's like these awesome seafood restaurant which is connected to the seafood store. Yes, that's one thing I really remember about the last time I took that ferry to Delaware. Weis live in Virginia Beach, so we drove through there oh the time. It's only way to get there. Yeah, like, very nice. So are there any other who were your friends up your romance? Pure Romance? That would be my friend Aaron, and I will be putting her linked up there. Yo, Aaron, he Aaron, Hey, if I did not hope end now, which was funny, say Thou, but now, because she's a rent terror. Oh See, you run. Listen for the best. I'm totally doing this rent fair shit, just for the Horny Shit that beauty's telling man, if it doesn't fucking come true, then I'll know I'm one of the biggest fucking creeps in the world, which I mean I could be. I really could bet you could be. But yeah, it's like I want some little Nim fat at two am to show me her tets while we drink wine out of a fucking leather sack we bought from Jason. That could happen. That could happen. Get that will never fucking happen? It could, it could.

That depends on when they open things back up. Well, okay, off the subject. Source. And then, in your experience, what's the best costume that a guy should wear to a rent fair? To, you know, to really fit in? I might have to be a Lord, you know, can you be some kind of hot peasant, Lord of Peasant Pirate? I wouldn't say pirates lot of booty pity, but yeah, like I was saying, nobleman would give a lot too. No woman can get some pussy at the rent fair. Yes, you know, you fucker, pirates do at the rent fair. They should be the pirate fair. The kind of hell out of here, you pirates. We need them, we need pirates and we need a balance of all things. But you know, it's like where those nice like the the tites that they were were like the stretchy pants looking. Oh really, that you see everything, you know? Oh God, people can see. All right, well, that's the case. I am worthy. You are what am I worthy? Were Nice Tavern on top that. That covers slightly, but I'm thinking a lot of expensive jewelries. The one that's really gonna but really want to do it. Do Nobility with a codpiece. Oh God's right. It definitely show off to the ladies to be or not to be wedding a cod piece at the run fair. You will enjoy it and ladies will love it to endow the slings and arrows of those who would scoff at my cod piece. That's Renaissance Fair with an extra e, folks. The Extra E is for extra e. well, it looks like we're just out about it. We're just about out of time here. No Way, yes, way. Well, the batteries ran out just in time too. Wow, they did so. Yes, I'm beatty, bombies. Check useven with it. WWW DOT showcom.

In-Stream Audio Search

NEW

Search across all episodes within this podcast

Episodes (73)