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Beauty and the Beast
Beauty and the Beast

Episode 27 · 2 years ago

Episode 27 - New Jersey

ABOUT THIS EPISODE

Episode 27 - New Jersey

Welcome to the 27th episode of Beauty and the Beast - New Jersey. Why New Jersey? Why not...we live here...whadaya gonna do about it....

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Coming to you almost live from lakeside, the beast, and welcome back to another show, another show, number twenty seven, officially right. Yep, number twenty seven. Twenty six was a little bit of a repeat, but we took your way back to the first one. So hope you liked it. Yep, hope you guys are sticking with your New Year's resolutions or they've all went out the window. And if you didn't like that one, then why are you listening now? Just keep listening, it gets better. Oh, okay, but beauty said, maybe, maybe, okay. So this week we are talking about New Jersey, New Jery Jersey, the garden state, home of the Jersey Devil. Home of the Jersey Devil depends on where you live. Yeah, that's true. I think there's multiple devil's, a home of the multiple different sports fans. To some people like some Yankees, Matt's. Other people are going phillies. Some people are some giants fans, other people like the eagles. So depending on your where in Jersey you are might determine your loyalty. Oh Yeah, some people are Jersey Devil's fans and other people are flyers fans. So you guys hash it out. I don't really care. That's one thing that's great, like people liking different teams and things like that. There's no set of rules, like if you're in New Jersey. There's no, you know, rules that you have to like New Jersey teams, but we really don't have any. So those devils, the Devil's The Jersey devils. Yeah, everything else it was the giants are here in New Jersey, but there's yeah, New York giants, like that whole thing, ex playing the meadow lands. Yeah, it's like like a Tan, like like a team, because you want to like a team. Yeah, screw the state. New Jersey's like the ass of every joke, like ever, like in film and Television, even in cartoons. We get cracked on. Yeah, New Jersey is one place you don't want to be if you've got a thin sk in, because we are definitely been the part of a joke for cheese decades now, if not longer than that. I mean, how long is Jersey been around? How long it's been around those people from PA? But putting it down, I know thirteen colonies were all like fucking New Jersey. It's like, man, the stereotypes. That gets me I was doing a comedy show, I think it was last week, and somebody's like, Oh, you're from New Jersey. You don't sound like you're from New Jersey. Yeah, and I'm like, yeah, I'm from the southern part that they considered South Jersey and not like New York. And I think yeah, like, I don't have that like New York accent, like I don't talk like that. I don't. Everybody expects you to sound like that, you know, like snookier, you know you come from the Sopranos or something like that. It's like you go to talk like this with the bent nose. Oh, yeah, like that. We're still running larnic city, if you know what I mean. Yeah, we got the goods. We got the goods, and that's actually when Atlantic City was well, Ron when the mob did it. I know right. Everybody else for fucked it up since then. I think they're still here in some form. I think. So it's like we need you to come out of hiding now because we like really need you. Okay, so if there's anybody in the mob, Oh my God, wait, I have a mob story. Oh, this was like like eons ago. Like my vocal teacher is probably what like in her s or something now, when she was younger and everything, and she used to actually sing up in clubs in New York and she was singing one time there's like a whole group of people, obviously, and she got too close to the edge of the stage and she fell off and she landed on one of the tables where the mob boss was, and it was like so she was like, Oh my God, I like she thought she was literally going to die. Turns out he's a really cool dude and they actually became friends and everything. And so I was saying like if we ever needed anything,...

I'm pretty sure that they would come through. You mean like you wanted somebody taking out? Yeah, pretty much, you need it alone. HMM, that's a good question. Huh, probably both. Probably time I got a loan from the mob, they wanted to break my leg in advance. Anyway, I was such a risk man with the guy actually came in cash my paycheck out of his pocket and took share every week. Thanks a lot. It was a kinder, friendlier mob. That's the way the ball bounces, I guess. That's the way. And we got we know this Guy Nelson Sar Deli, out in Las Vegas saying Nelson, if you're listening, I know you're not, but he's right. Now they're doing like the good fellows version of Shakespeare and I know you're doing some zoom version is Shakespeare. So poor old Shakespeare, what the fuck? He doesn't know what to think anymore. I know he's turning over left and right. It's great. It's like actually UNZOOM. We were just rehearsing. I mean, I know there's no shows going on this year, but the Director Ryan, he's a pretty great guy. He just wanted us to get together and that way we can discuss if we have, you know, any thoughts, any ideas, because we're doing much to do about nothing. But we're actually set in Florida and I believe we're in the fift s time period, which works for me, it would, I tell everybody you know, you go out there and you want to be creative and you want to be unique, and the easiest thing to do is take fucking much to do about nothing and put it in in s far to setting. Hello. Oh yeah, why not get created with the set and the costumes? But you don't have the right word one. So I know we're actually doing the script. Legit the way it is. It's I'm saying. I had some stuff might actually add, like another character or something like that. It's like we're getting to it, we're getting and this is going to be really cool when it comes out. I get to play three different characters. So it's like, I'm totally excited about that. You mean winner's actually a live stage production out of it? Yes, yeah, somewhere in fall of two thousand and twenty one, I guess probably. I mean he's hoping for maybe early spring next year, but we have to play it by your you know this figure. When everything opens up, there's going to be like one month where year, so fucking busy your head's gonna Explode. I gotta do a plan. And actually I'm doing two plays. Well, I'm doing two plays in a voice over, and I got three parts in this play. That's what the other thing you do. You never settle for one part. No, exactly, we have eight parts. I can do twelve, I know I can. I don't even know how that, you know, came to be. It just happened. It's like, Oh crap, we need somebody to fill it. They oh wait, we lost someone it's like, well, you know what it's like. I've got a little part in the beginning and then a little part like towards the middle and then my biggest part comes more towards like the Middle End, like which is like really really cool. Like I get to play the Messenger in the beginning and then I'll play one of them. They are watchmen and we're from the south apparently, and then we go and then I end up playing Friar Francis, which is like really really cool. It's like he's the cool dude, you know, well, the cool, cool chick. I guess in my case that you know, pieces everything together and you know it's like not like rights the wrong but put puts the right in the right place. But that's still shakespeare, you know it is. And Yeah, I love it if it's like the directors only already got like the nextly three or four shows planned. He's like, after this one, I want to do this one, this one, this one, this one. That's like okay, so's like Shakespeare, Fish Shakespeare. I mean it's something to keep busy here and new New Jersey. Why don't they just do like Naked Shakespeare? All the actors are naked all that folder all and fiddledy do with those lines and you can't understand what they're saying half the time because it's old English. Just take their clothes off and everything else goes out the window, pretty much, including the clothes. And no sets, No sans. That's just naked everywhere, like naked sets, naked people right, naked New Jersey. A Guy in New Jersey had a naked record say I wants if you were nude, you got a free album. Awesome. Yeah, which one did you get? I did not, but I think it was just their excuse or hitting a walk around naked in his store that day. I'm not sure everybody needs a naked day. Yeah, naked that. Usually it's naked Saturday. For me it's Naked Day. Now it's like a hundred and twenty freaking degrees outside. I was like, holy craft, Cook parts of yourself you didn't know existed. I know you can go outside and cook some steak on the pavement in it. Yeah, you don't even need to fire up the barbecue. You just put the meat on the Grill and put the lid on it and come out later and it's all too ready to go. I know I'm tempted to look at the barbecue downstairs just to see what degrees it's on. It's like we don't have to fire it up, just stick the meat in. Just...

...one thing I guess we can talk about since we're talking about Jersey. Is Definitely Weird and J oh yeah, we let love those guys. Whenever we see them at the SMITHVILLE art walk they're always part of it and they've been writing about weird Nj for a long time and there's definitely something weirdness right around us. I guess one of the Weirdest Things is that Lucy elephant down in our gate giant elephants sculpture where you can go inside the elephant and Dick Around. I guess they rented as an a hotel every now and then, but people have had their weddings there. Have you ever seen this Lucy the elephant? Oh yeah, all the time. Since I was a kid, that was one of my favorite things, like just driving around and just, you know, seeing the sights here in New Jersey and one of my favorite things was always lucy. That's the site in Margate. There no sits down here. Really. I know who all for a kid it's interesting. Yeah, that's right. Well, and your kid too. It seems like it's twenty, thirty times bigger than it really is. When you grow up. You go inside like this is it? It's like a suppository up in here, like what's and I was wondered why they didn't put a ramp for the wheelchair access at the things asked. You know, that would be so cool room. But imagine if you got stuck and he became a lucy the elephant dingleberry. So if you don't know what we're talking about, folks, it's basically lucy eleven is this massive wooden structure shaped like an elephant, approximately if that elephant had some kind of I don't know, deformity, giantists or whatever the hell they call it. He's not quite to us, to you know, back but you get the idea when you see it. Now, this thing had originally been built, along with a lot of other ones, used to sit out in to mar our stare to advertise beach front properties. This, apparently, is the last one left and now it's some kind of national treasure, if you go for those kind of things. I mean to me, it's just an excuse to sell a little stupid chatch keys in a gift shop next to it. Really Yeah, little Knick knacks and things. I mean I think it's really cool that people can spend the night. It's probably like a fortune and a half that spend one night lucy the elephant, but I'd love to do that sometime. It's like, honestly, you know, being seeing Lucy, you know, since I was a kid and everything. I think it'd be cool just to spend one night actually to see if it's haunted, you know, because we have so many haunted places, especially like down in Cape May and everything. Okay May, that's where all the antiques go to die. Yeah, I mean, wouldn't that be cool to have like a haunted elephant like Woa? My wife and I stayed. There be some moaning, but I don't know that it would, because it's haunted. I think great ball on her and the elephant and there he goes going off. People are walking by and the elevens going Oh, people are like that. Elephants haunted. It's like put that on your bucket list. Yeah, new places grew. Yeah, Lucy the elephant. Yeah, it's happening. It's going down. Make sure to podcast. I don't know. I don't think I'd spend the thousand or whatever I'd spend. I do it for ten nights and ten hundred dollar and I hotels instead. That people way better, I think. True, he'd probably get more haunts there anyway. Lucy the elephant. What else is local to us? Well, of course, famous Atlantic City. That's right around the corner and that's also the brunt of many a joke and you know, the city doesn't do much too to combat that. The biggest problem with Atlantic city is it just doesn't know what it is. You Go, for example, as city block, you might find, say, the Carnegie Mellon Institute, next to the park that commemorates Martin Luther King, next to the porn store and the shooting gallery. Basically, like there's like a porn store on every other that city doesn't know, isn't it are we educating people? Are Selling Sex. So you know, the arts garage there is it's a porn shot. That looks there's some hookers up. There's definitely hookers and they're coming back, even though the Covid oh yeah, still here. The girls are coming back. I don't think they stopped talking. I don't think it's the girls, I think it's the guy. Yeah, that's their pips making like look, HMM, it's Covid Shit. I don't care now, Mo I need my money as like. I don't care if you die. Become a court yeah, you're doing it. You're now that guy from Florida. Necrophiliacs from New Jersey. Why not? WHY COME TO COME TO JERSEY? For many of those covid hot spots, you basically have...

...to stay here for two weeks. Two Weeks, folks, two weeks, two weeks in Jersey. That might make you go insane. Just the smells alone would break the average person. I don't know, South Jersey definitely smells better than North Jersey. Not at low tide it don't you know? A little tide when everything smells like rotting eggs will be tide in a heat wave. Oh yeah, that's that's a stinker, right thing. That's definitely it's like, and you don't get used to it. Folks, not like her she, where you can't smell chocolate anymore. Not that they make it there anymore, but there was a time when the entire town of Hershey Pa because the chocolate factor was there smell like chocolate. After a while you went nose blind to it. But you don't ever go nose blind to low tide in a heat way. Folks, I've never oh my gosh, yeah, I'm small that right now. Thank you for putting that in my head. I'm going I'm going back to chocolate world here in Pennsylvania. I'm going to remember the good times, the chocolate and sniffing it. And actually my friend Jules used to actually work at EMINEM and Mars. That's also in Pennsylvania. She was security there, so she would come home smelling like chocolate all the time and one time just staying in her house and I smelled her and I was like, can I lick you? Yeah, she's like what the Hell? What the Hell? She's like, Oh, for you. She tasted the challenge. She said she tasted like chocolate. Yep, that's not that's great. When a smell becomes so pungent it becomes a flavor. MMM, yeah, that's low tide at the Jersey Shore. And then you taste and also the tears that are running down your cheeks that your nose is placing. Please just tear me off and set me aside and the funny thing is people pay millions of dollars for properties that are waterfront and you know, even your six million dollar house can't stop the smell of that low tide that's going now. Well, I mean it does smell better than like garbage domes, and we're an order North Jersey. Yeah, she has this weird burning plastic smell. I know it's like sort of industrial. It's good that, I just more natural. There's is more industrial. MMM. We still have smells. Well, Oh, yeah, we definitely have smells here. We remember. I don't know if you remember that lovely smell when you used to go across the Walt Whitman was it? There was a liquor factory where they made whiskey and all the corn cobs would lay in piles next to the place and Rot, and that was next to the oil field. So basically, coming out of Jersey it stanks so bad own into philly that you were like hey, Jersey don't smell so bad, I guess. Yeah, I know right, that smell and New York smelling you. It's like you always know when you hit in New York, like will take like a bus up to go to New York. Comic con and we know when we were also line, we're like, whoo, there is no napping on that bus. Smell that people's too many people of everything. Oh my God, Oh my Gosh, you could you imagine in this hot weather in New York right now? But the trash? Now, Oh, I'd rather smell low tide. I'd rather than South Philly. They're in a trash strike. And tell you what, the rats would taken most of the trash away themselves. Yeah, it's a good thing for them and piling up in the parks. The rats are definitely full that day. Well, that time. What do you like about New Jersey? I look a lot of things. I'm listening. I like the people. I like the arts. Yeah, yeah, the arts of people, board walks. I'm a huge mini Golfer, you know, now as much as rudy real but definitely, and Miniature Golf, and I love, you know, well, the regular things like going to the movie theaters and things like that. None of all these things are particularly unique to fucking New Jersey. Okay, there's people everywhere, art everywhere, Mini Golf everywhere, maybe not boardwalks everywhere, but enough arcades and other things to keep you distracted things like that, like how about you? What's what's in it for? You say, what happened to me? How did I land here? HMM. So I've lived here on and off many times, mostly because my dad would move around when we had jobs. He used to manage his chain of stores, one of which was in Atlantic City, which is now a municipal building. So that's pretty weird driving by there and all those memories of that place as a thriving, bustling store and now it's full of cops. But that was...

...why we lived in North Jersey and the mountains. And what happened there was our house was at the bottom of this very long sloping driveway and after three days of torrential rains, the entire house was about six feet under water. This was within about eight months of moving there. So we moved back to our old home, which we had not sold, in Pennsylvania, and not about six months later that one burned to the ground. So these things all ended up, I think, to my parents divorce, but that's another show. The last time I moved here was now eighteen years ago, because I was living in Philly and I wanted to buy a house and basically it was like, well, where do you want to be a slave to a mortgage? Do you want to live in Ben Salem, Pennsylvania, or do you want to live down at the shore? And we decided to move down to the shore. But now that the kids are raised and gone, I don't know if there's not much reason to stay here. My Job's okay, but I could probably find a similar job anywhere and I guess right now the reason I'm not moving from Jersey's just because there's nothing better on the horizon for the time being. But as what do I LIKE ABOUT JERSEY? You know, really not much. I did like the beach when I lived there, but now I could care less for it because it attracts a certain type of person, a cold a tourist that I don't get along with a lot of times, especially those New York has fairly philly people I have a little more tolerance for. But you got a Yankees cap on, you better just cross the street, Buddy. Yeah, that's one thing. I love me here like in the fall, in the winter, in the spring, but once you be season happens, I'm like, Oh hey, I'll no, may be season. I don't even like to go grocery shopping or any kind of shopping. The how, you know, sell that person quarantining myself, well, well before it was popular. You know, we were standing in line waiting for pizza the other day because that's what you got to do now. You gotta wait, and they okay, you know, you gotta give me your phone number, and this guy just shows up, like I called them over an hour ago. What's the situation where, like that guy's from out of town. All the logos are just hanging having a good time chat and some Guy Rolls Up. It's got a problem. He ain't from around here. NOPE, no, like I called an hour ago, I want my pizza. Is My pizza? Where my pizza? I want to get my pizza. So call them shoe bees, and there's like a few stories, a few reasons why we call them shoe bees. One story, a popular story, is that's the tourists used to take the train down from Philadelphia and they would show up with their box lunches in a shoe box, and that's how you knew they were from out of town, because their lunch was in a shoe box. They were called shoe bees. The other popular tale is that you could always tell a tourist because they would come to the beach and walk out on the sand with their shoes still on. That's how excited they were to be on the surf. They'd never seen the ocean. So you can always tell somebody was from at attack as they're standing on the beach with their shoes on. Thus they were called shoe bees. Shoe Bees. Now, are those ones that also were socks with their sandals, or is that like a beautiful for Ridians? A univer has awful already and yes, I'm like, I wasn't sure if it was universal or not, but once you hit a certain age you wear socks and sandals. I don't know. And of course we do have our Jersey tomatoes and our juicy blueberries. They are they are delicious. Let's just be blunt that the blueberries from New Jersey are probably the best in the world. If you got better ones out there, send him to so we can try them. Yeah, definitely. It's like hit us up, let us know if you want our eye address or we're to send it to just hit us off at beauty and the beast sixty nine, at gmailcom. I'm definitely love to try their blueberries and see where we land. Yeah, and you can also tell us why you like or hate New Jersey. We don't care. New Jersey's feelings is not going to be hurt because of you, that's for sure. Now we're so used to it, like I said, with movies and TV shows, and I think if a family guys taking a couple cracks in New Jersey, like we're used to it, we're like, Oh God, damn it, not again, you know, out again. Well, here's the thing, and I've traveled around in the world. I don't know if you have many. Europe many times, Canada dozen times, been to Mexico. Haven't spent much time in South America or Africa. I have been to the Orient. But in the meantime in new in the United States, New Jersey might be the brunt of every joke,...

...but when you go to Canada and they say hey, where you from? You Guy from Jersey, that's like good Josie Yo. Well, I'll write about it being about a boom. And they love us. Let me tell you. Foreigners love us because they know as fucked up is this country is. Jersey's probably the most fucked up state of all. So they're like hey, all right, welcome to the welcome to the party. Jersey like, welcome to the party. We got you, we got you, got, yeah, we got some. Here's some guy with a Canadian accent saying but a being bought a boom. I follow that with the you know, you know, I'm it over in Amsterdam. They're like they see undershooting, like a met Connor. I'm met Connor, like your scum. But then you're like, Hey, I'm from Jos of the Good Jersey. Yo. They love US and hate us at the same time. It's great. Love US everywhere else except the United States of America. I know. That's how I landed up on ROB's in her circle. I got an hourlong interview and he's from Canada, right, like he's awesome, and he's like yeah, it's like I caught you, you know, doing one of the comedy shows or whatever. It's like I'd like to interview you, you know, talk about what's going on, what you're up to, like, you know. It's like what are the stats on Covid? It's like, well, we're kind of you know, face too, but I think we're going back to face one, you know. So it was great. So if you can't, it's like look up rob's inner circle on Youtube and check out the interview work. Yes, I do mentioned beauty and the beast. Huh. So, yes, yes, we are on there and you're on a Canadian podcast. All those people from Quebec will be complaining soon enough because we did not speak as if French speak French in Quebec and every label has to be in French or your get fined. But there are some great, some great Canadians. Like I said, they love us, they love I got lots of friends in Canada. I think the most fun thing, though, is going to a strip club and because we usually give the girls here dollar bills, but in Canada a dollar bill is a coin called a loopie. Yes, so you get to throw those at the dancers instead of those dollar bills. Is that why they're missing teeth, like the hockey players, little black and blue marks all over the flip. That is awesome. Their money's just so much better to spenders here. WHY HAVE NOT? Haven't they figured out they got outdoor dining now under the ten we have to socially distance where a mass whatever? Why aren't there socially distancing strip clubs open yet? Why isn't there a tent set up next to the centerfolds where we can catch a little TNA and we can still socially distance? You know, I understand can't get a lap dance at this point, but hey, yeah, the girls can still be stripping. Yeah, it doesn't it? That's what stripper is doing, putting off their closer. These strippers doing now, because I'd like to talk to the idea and how it can spend some time together. We should get in touch with yeah, I missed them. I was like, we just bought matching, what it is, a matching garter belts too, and then this whole pandemic thing happened, because I used to if you got if you don't know, it's like I used to do comedy at centerfolds, which is a strip club, and the girls there they were awesome and every time I would go on, they were like, Oh, here she comes, here she comes, this is the comic that I told you that you have to see, right, I love that which and then we ended up getting like matching garter belt and everything. It was awesome. It wasn't. I was like, I missed them. It's like I really need to, you know, find out what they're doing. Well, I think that centerfolds is missing a huge marketing opportunity when they don't tell everybody how gigantic some of those girls asses are. I know there's guys who were totally into that, but you wouldn't know it driving by that, that there's some girls there who's asses are as wide as some of those dancers are tall. Oh, it's nice, whoohoo. They've got some really nice girls in there, not the kind that, you know, turned sideways and disappear either. So we've got so many girl guys are yeah, you slap that ass and five minutes later it's still shaken. This is a great centerfolds a yeah, I guess you gotta Snack it right there. Yeah, we gotta, you know, get more people here. You know. Well, I'd love to go in there and after the fact and be like you, the guy talking shit about centerfolds, like yeah, we're gonna sit on your face till you die. Cool of you. I think I'll go to heaven then. That would be awesome. Actually, they get to go to heaven if you're good, but you're killed by a muff I don't know. They'd be like, well, you got a pretty good record here. Oh wait a minute, what the fuck? You were suffocated with a pussy. We're gonna you can have to go wait over...

...there for a little while. We don't know where to sort you out right now. Just I was just sit there just to get it with a pussy. Saint, Peter, what do you think? Like? Oh, well, I don't know. Now he might. Well, we might want to send him to hell for a little while, just for a little bit, just for that, just the way it was with the stripper, a hooker, or was it his significant other? Was a hooker. Totally going to hell. It's like you're done here, done, back your bags, you're moving down south. Yeah, what about all those priests who got to go down below? Oh Lord, I would want to be with them. They spent their whole life being a pious and diddling little boys and now they're going to go to hell. All that work for nothing. And, though some people would tell you, New Jersey is how the taxes alone could cripple the average person. Oh yeah, I'm like the air quality, of course, but Jersey and sea, they do stick together in times of crisis, and I only know this through my experience living through Hurricane Sandy. Our little town came together after that, especially because we didn't evacuate a lot with a lot of other people. And then after you didn't evacuate, we basically weren't allowed to evacuate. If you did, you were pretty much knew you had to stay away for a few weeks, and we did not. We just stuck it out and it was a big mistake in the hindsight. But then a place became like Berlin. There was a wall at each end and we were partying in the streets and some people hadn't bathed for days. Yeah, it was great. We all came together and helped each other. See, it's like that's what we need to do now. I think, well, we can't come too close together, but we can still be together for each other. This big Old Cadillac, I was driving people around until I basically ran out of gas and couldn't get anymore because there was no there's no gas station in my little town. But in the meantime I remember some poor guy was basically wandering around looking basically out of it, and what it was was he was in like a prediabetic shock because he hadn't had any of his drugs four days after the hurricane and he asked me to please drive them down to the pharmacy in the in the next town and I said, well, buddy, that was under ten foot water a few days ago, so I don't think they're open. And here's a guy, just a complete stranger. I'm trying to help him, and now he's Hassling me. Why isn't the Pharmacy Open? The gotta go, but he goes now. Please give me ride to the other end of town. Well, this guy, he smelled like low tide. Oh No, times ten, and I gave him a ride in my car. Stank for three days after but I got my carmer points nice and see him. And if you smell and you need to go somewhere, if you're from Jersey and Hook you up, will get you. We'll get you. It cost ten bucks. You got any money on you know, get out. You got money, you got gas? Yeah, can you sleep for something? And Imagine, I can imagine, how many people went down for the count after that storm because they didn't have access to their beds or they ran out. Yeah, that's true. So that was one hell of a storm. That was awesome. I remember waiting through water chest high with my my Chihuahua held up over my head. It was ridiculous, ridiculous at certainly was ridiculous. And we were thought we'd be safe in our home because we were on higher ground, and we spent an inordinate amount of time filling sandbags, which was a complete waste of energy and time and money, because the water came right up through the floor. It didn't wait. Yeah, it wasn't like it was going past the sand bags. This is came right up into the house. Yeah, and the the troom started flying off of the the walls and we knew it was time to get out. Yeah, it's like I want to say, it's like, even though we didn't live at the in the best place at the best time, we were over in somer's point, I believe. Oh, I know, the original name was the Atlantis apartments. It's like we were actually up on the third floor. I think they're called a bay Vy court apartments. Now they're like on shore road, but we were up on the third level and those old ass apartments. We don't don't you know, we have backup generators. So it's like the storm almost never happened. Like we never evacuated. We weren't flooded or anything, which was insane because we were maybe five blocks from the bay or something like that. I mean other places around somer's point got hit pretty...

...hard. But there we were and we were grateful. It's why didn't you leave, even though the governor said we had to, because we had a backup generator. Those things are like so like this, apartments like like knocking on wood, because we may end up back there in a couple of years because it's just too expensive to stay here. So it's like knocking on wood. Those, those old apartments are pretty damn good during storms. So it's like why not? You know, it's like why wouldn't you want to move into an apartment that has, you know, backup generators and things like that? It's like, Huh, yeah, well, I remember that intensely and the reason we didn't evacuate was because we evacuated the storm before they told us to evacuate. Nothing happened. Where we move from that one? We evacuate. Yeah, and we moved into a place where it a storm hit worse. So we were like thanks a lot. And the strangest thing we were all pretty much alone on a highway at one point and just driving along. Get to my dad's house and we see on the other side of the highway there's one single car and there's a tree limb on it. Now, can you imagine you just driving along, you're all alone on the highway, and the tree has to fall on your car? Yep, like, couldn't have found the FORLIDA car, couldn't have fallen the just a few seconds after the car. And and this is why people get a bad attitude about life. They're like no, it's like, you know, hundred fucking miles around me, no other trees have fallen down, only the one that fell on my car while I'm driving on a highway by myself. That's right, like damn, that's like that you do? That pops out just for you. Yeah, surprise, Bang, Oh God, that's one thing I wouldn't miss if we left Jersey. I wouldn't miss the deer jumping out on the highway. I was coming back from a GIG one time. We just got back from doing the connectic get renaissance fair and I was like yeah, I'm fine, I could drive home whatever, and so I'm driving when the hell was? I coming from Man'Sville, so I was on the Parkway and everything. It was kind of later at night, which was great because there's no other cars on the road. It's like just coming back, minded my own business. Almost dear Bam right in the side of the car, right in the side of the car. It's like I had literally dear guts all in my engine. Don't know how the Hell my car made it home from there, but I was like really, and it was like the summertime too. So if you can imagine rotting deer guts underneath your hood, just sitting there, it's like Oh that, that's a smell that you can't forget, like low tide like hood. Now I know why they, you know, refer to them as those asshole deer in jerseys. Looks like yeah, PA to they just come out of nowhere. But recently, well, not too recent, but I said my friend Alison one time we were coming home from doing comedy and where we left that it was a wooded area and everything, and you know it's like, you know, be careful because the deer. So we have one high beams and stuff and we're taking it easy down the one road and this deer is like almost literally standing at the car. I rolled down the window and I was like turn away, go back, and he actually did. And My friend Alice and called me a dear whisper. I was like great, I could talk to deer. That's my superpower were in life. But can you tickle tickle that dear? It's close enough, but you gotta figure that. That's why people get a chip. Like there's a place valley forge state park, and my inlaws live on the other side of it. So you have to drive through this park, which is heavily populated with deer. You can see a whole herds or whatever the heck they are. Oh Yeah, and I've driven through their countless times. I at all hours of the day and night. Never hit a deer once. My sister in law, fiel hand, it's probably hit three or four already. Wow, that just maybe she drives it more than me, or maybe the deer just looking out for her. I'm not sure. Maybe I tell you that about this little squirrel committed suicide or my caddie the other day. Oh No, I come around a corner on nine, all of them, just me, and there's a squirrel just sitting as they sitting on the double yellow line, which is the stupidest places of year. You can sit on root nine when people are going fifty miles an hour. And I'm like runaway, a little squirrel. Well, I didn't whisper to him, because he took two hops and went right up under the guard donk. I heard him hit. Squirrel, good, squirrel, good. Well, I didn't look under to find any...

...guts. I know it's like it's so sad. It's so sad that at a squirrel in Jersey would feel so low as to commit suicide. Like that way. I could go that way and avoid death. But why did I just try to hop under the car? When it drives by exactly, like here we go. It's like, you know, I'm just a squirrel sitting on the line. I'm like, you know what, today's a day. You know, fuck it. Well, I'm ending my life. I'm doing it's a bunch of other squirrels on the other side of the road like exchangeing cash. Like well, I didn't make it. I told you wouldn't you on me? Twenty Bucks Pass Squirreli Yeah, the joke isn't why? Why did the squirrel cross the road because he didn't. Didn't. Why do the Squirrel Cross road? It didn't wedge itself in my fan belt. It's like, crap, crap, and lost the bet. I know it's like. I've hit a squirrel my time too and it's just so it's so damn sad when you hear the little clunk under the car. Oh my God, I didn't meet the crap. I had a pigeon one time and it exploded. I think it was just a sack of hot air and feathers. It was just like, yeah, hope it's like that. Now. The Hell did that happen? I didn't know they exploded. Is that supposed to happen? It was wow, now we know. Now another than that bird we have here in Jersey, which probably be our national state or State Bird, would be that that Damn Sea. Go this, you go. Oh, seagulls love shoe be's because they will feed them. I'm so sign that says do not feed the see them except Cheeto's French fries. The best part is when you stop feeding them and you go into water and they come in a rain sexually stuff. Go find. They are smart. They can open up a picnic basket. They can UNPUTT in a blouse. They can do a lot of stuff. Looks like the food right out of your hand. They don't get they don't care that. Oh yeah, they'll snatch your write ups. Awesome, seedless. Some little three year old kid get his soft serve coneers whipped right out of him, saying Yep, and dad chasing the thing down the boardwalk like he's going to get it back or something. Oh, that would be so nasty. Yeah, why would you even want that back down? It will gross. You know, the birds just going to come back and crap on you right. And I think the worst part is is if you live at the short town, there is that one week, sometimes it last two weeks, when all the sea gulls are fucking each other and they are very vocal about it and they laugh faster and faster and faster until they orgasm. And once you hear it you can never unhear it. And he say to people, I like people said you what one of the Gulls are really loud, like well, yeah, that's the sound of two girls, girls fucking, and they're like, Oh oh, thanks for telling me that. Now I can't unhear that. The sounds of the Jersey shore. Yeah, they should be in a pamphlet somewhere and don't come during these two weeks. That's when the seagulls are fucking each other very loudly. That went actually attract more people. And it starts at the crack at dawn to you know, since the sun comes up. It's like me like, Gay, Cooler, get yourself fixed. It's like having a fucking rooster, but we're having fucking seagles. Things are prolific, though. You know they are, because that's like, that's why we've got cities named after their eggs. Egg Harbor is because when they pulled in the first time the there was so many seagull nests that all they could see was seagull eggs as far as they looked and they're like yeah, that's a good name for this place. Yep, Egg Harbor, here we go. He now, once upon a time, before mosquito control, the Mosquitos were apparently as big as six inches long. So that yeah, I don't remember too many of them. I remember son a couple, like when I was a kid, but nothing too much. I know Mike One of his first jobs was he worked at one of the airplane places that flew, the banners and everything. So he the big old strawberry flies and things like that. It's like, Oh, yeah, hell no, I don't know. We get these things called green hats. These they're voracious flies, the assholes that they want your blood. MM. But those bloodsucker ones, I can't remember what they are. Are they just regular mosquitoes or mosquitoes the other day were so bad in our backyard that but we got dragonflies which apparently love to eat him. So yes, it's really strange.

I look out in the yard and there's like two hundred dragonflies hovering around and eyes like, okay, this is definitely a sign. Not necessarily the apocalypse, is about the freaking wildlife. It's awesome me where I live now, I love whenever you can go out and see one ball geating another bug. Yeah, that's the way it should just stick O. Those dragonflies will just get the fly like right in mid air. That's like the best part. Like that. It's like cats out now and catches dragonflies and eat some something like. Well, it's not like it can get him away from him. By the time he catches fly too late, he's already had it doesn't. I'm sure probably. I remember one time gone to my cousin John's, he's over in Elwood, and taking the backway in and everything. I get to his place and I look under my windshield way from like what the Hell is that thing? And it was like this giant dragonfly. It must have been like like maybe for innges by four inches or something like that, or you know whatever the scale is like. It was dry. It was just like hanging out in there and fortunately it had died, but I was like, damn, that's the biggest dragonfly I've ever seen. Now around here, I know. Yeah, the flies, fucking flies right on my legs. We can play connect the dots without many bug bites I've gotten. But every time, if the doors open and a fly comes in, my cat, Miss Archer, she'll hunt that thing down and she'll eat that thing. Yeah, she's like, man, is like fly. Like last week she got like three flies and now she's like they're fly, okay, get fly, can't I want a snack and I get a fly. Man on purpose now sometimes so that she's real good. She's real fast at catching them. One thing that we got a little Jersey is some big ass bugs. Yep, it comes it next to us and have conversations. The place where I've been living prior to my move is was part of something called Absecon Island. Okay, seven miles stretch of island. The thing that you have to know about Absecon island is, even though it lay any city, that deplorable place is on it and a few other shore towns, once upon a time it was paradise on Earth. It was sacred ground where the Lenni lenape would hunt and they actually had a wooden bridge built that they could burn down in case people, they intruders, came. And how the mighty have fallen. That was once a sacred place. It ain't anywhere close to sacred now. I don't even think the churches that are here are that sacred in my humble opinion. But it's really funny to think that once it was a pristine wonderland where you could hunt and fish and commune with nature. And Gee, I wouldn't need any of the fishing that you pull out of the water now and you shtly can't haunt anything. Maybe each other. Yeah, pretty much. I think. Maybe that's what's wrong with me, is that I eat the fish when I was younger. Yeah, so, yeah, I mean I love going fishing when I was younger, not now. I was like, I don't even want to know what the hell's in our border, let alone eat something from it. I find it's so boring fishing. Yeah, like I said, it's like I liked it. Actually still have my snoopy fishing pole, imagine tackle box. So that's how long it has been since I have one fishing. I have not upgraded my ride. I mean like you're like you're fishing at Patriot lay. I'm not a week yet. It's like almost thirty. I'm not a week, but yeah, it's like fishing was all right, like I remember one time. It's like my dad took me fishing after dark. We're, you know, catching catfishing everything, and of course I don't like to take stuff off the hook, so that was his job. And I threw a line and caught one, went back and picked up another fishing rod, threw it in, got another fish, went back, got another roll. Like this was going on for a long time. He's like, well, wait a minute. He's like, I want to cat from one. So he gets a Rod, he puts it in there, you know, doesn't he catch a little baby catfish? Meanwhile, mine were all like five times bigger than this then, and he's like, he's like how hard? We go back to me beating the pools. You taking them, catching them, that's right, and eat the baby one. I know it's like, do you put that back, dude, there's a lot of baby animals you can eat, but the fish aren't one. Yeah, I don't do that. Also, so Nasshole. When I was a kid too, my dad told me one time we got to our favorite fishing spot and it told me to wait before I threw him, you know, throw a line in or whatever. I didn't. We of course I catch snapping turtle like that. I was a there's a big turtle in o yard the other day, like we're in a hell. Did it even come from? The nearest canal...

...is least a block away, and I just couldn't imagine him. And it was so funny about watching my wife like escort this turtle down to the canal. And the other day we're driving and there's just a snowy egret walking across the road. Oh, what the Hell is this? Why does these birds are? Don't even want to fly anymore. That's how hot it is outside. I know, right. They're just like walking across like sometimes. I know it gets crazy down in somers point, like usually like near Walgreens and act me and everything, and there's like these geese that will legit cross the street. Oh yeahy like hold up traffic. One time one was going one line was going one way and one line was going the other way and as like I'm thinking, I'm like, y'all have wigs, y'all could fly up stupid Barts, like what the Hell? Yeah, that's why it's like, don't drink the water in Jersey, don't. It makes birds not want to fly. And if you hit one of your cars, like a five thousand dollar fine, so you better wait. Yeah, definitely. We we call them urban ducks. It's a problem with those urban ducks. They think they have the right away they do, and it's like you just you have to sit there, just let them do their thing. You know, I know a guy who was his whole business is taking his dogs two different industrial parks and having them chase the geese out. It's the only humane way to do it and it's the only way. That's like sanctioned by environmentalist because you hit one of those things in your big trouble man and they know it. Those damned ducks, those geese, they know it. They're like, Huh, there's got to be some reason we have we're not getting run over every freaking hour, and they realize they have the power. Exactly there, come at me, broken into any GE's everywhere soon is there dead keys are rather be like hey, we need to rethink this whole walking across the street. Name as late. Let that be a message to yes, back to the boss. You said it's crown. We have down here is turtles crossing the road and people slamming on her brakes to get out of their car and pick up the turtle and move it to the side of the road, where, if they just actually had waited a couple more seconds, a turtle would have gone there anyway. Turtle knows what is fucking doing, folks. Plus, it doesn't want to be on the highway. What do you think? I'm going to come out of the water, walk across the Cool Grass and Oh, oh, oh, oh, this is five hundred degrees. I think I better get across as fast as I can. No wait smuckle luck is stopping his car and picking me up. This is awesome. Let me give him some Salmonella squirts. Quirt. I know he said if it over here, at least side. It's like we get them crossing or whatever, and we've we've moved a couple because some of them will legit just stop and go into their shells. And this one time Mike picked up one and his little mouth was open and he was hissing. I'm like, Oh, yeah, you that's a snapper. Put it down, put it down. Neck is only so I can't really get yeah, I know I was like, Oh crap, is the snapper. But yeah, we've done our share. You know, it's like we made sure that they got across the way or whatever, but least here, you know, the traffics not been but we're glad the other day that we got a turtle out of the road because there was some more on that was back here and he went speeding up, you know, towards the exit. He would have crushed that thing. He wouldn't have even seen it. He would just hit it with his you know, with his big penis mobile and it would have been in the end of that thing. We're driving on this road, seven mile seven bridge road is called because there's these little one lane bridges that you have to wait for the opposing traffic to come. So we're behind these people without a state tags and we get to the first bend and they're stopping to save a turtle. All right, well, this is a Wildlife Park, folks. You'RE gonna be a lot of turtles here. Go across the first bridge, get up about a half a mile there, stopped to save a turtle. We go around a bend and there's like a hundred freaking turtles in the road. I told him, like, there's no fucking way you can save all these turtles. Folks, just let him you just gotta turn around. The fact we had to just turn around there were so many turtles. Could and drive without killing dozen zone and these people are still held at I'm getting to the end of the trail, so we just turn around. S Up. Well, God love you. Good luck. Yep, it's your turtle. Save and make sure you wash your hands, folks now, and you don't have to post everything on fucking social now. He Turtle has happy. You saved him. That should be enough. Exactly. It's like have that for gratitude. I mean once a blue moon will take a picture, like we find one with like a unique shell or something like that. So yeah, we'll take a picture. We might not post it or anything, but what the hell, you know, it's like, yeah, this is a pretty cool turtle, let's take a picture. See if we come back next year. You know, gay it was good. One was we saw we drove up and there were these people...

...out of their car because they were taking pictures of this turtle and they were all these little baby turtles. Was So cool. But when we drove back, all the little baby turtles have been eaten by seagulls and you could see this harm Likr is people's phases. They must have been trying to protect the turtles from the SEAGULLS. But you know, it's pretty hard to protect yourself from fifty sea gulls. Yeah, maybe the birds. Oh, yeah, yeah, they're pretty obnoxious things. And Yeah, when you're a little dude, it's like forget it, you're you know, but it commits suicide. Just go smear yourself with Sardine's and hang out at the beach and goes. Sea Gulls will make short work of you. Oh yeah, starting which at balls. Definitely. Then at least you can't see the horror that's going to ensue. Yeah, they're nice that they know they're thoughtful that way. Yeah, definitely. But yeah, I remember one time I was over verchrove park. We're walking the trails and whatever and it's so amazing to see the nature there and there was these turtles and they were out, you know, on like when the fallen limbs and yeah, little lakes there and everything, and they were all in a row and it was so awesome and I was getting a picture and I wanted to get just a little bit closer and it my hair gets stuck in a sticker Bush, like me in your you gotta be kidding Merrick. As a traveler, turtles are coming towards you slowly. Finally, like, I guess after an hour's time, Mike made its way around the thing and he's like what are you doing? I was like, I was taking pictures of turtles, but I'm kind of stuck. Can you help me? Your Swiss army knife needs some much chet day on it, I know. I was like, Oh my God, but they're so cool like just chilling there, just that's what I like. I mean, I guess I like. I like and hate the nature of Jersey at the same time. Like what? When you see those little turtles, it's like it's like, Oh man, that's amazing, and you see me. You like sea gull food. Hey, guys, it's fresh. What are you gonna eat French fries for? There's little baby turtles over here. Come on, have a and they're like now we're going another McDonald's is only a few blocks. Can't you smell that? Like we want some fries, we need some salt. Only fries with that. That's one thing. You go to Ocean City, you will see seventy five hundred seagulls circling the dumpster at the Mickey D's. Like, Dude, one block away, all the fish you can eat. I knowd Tater tots are chicken nuggets. That's the one. There we go, chicken nugets. Aren't those made out of burden? And like yeah, we're cannibals. On top of everything else, we're hardcore. Where are we eat ourselves? When we eat ourselves? Yes, Seagull mcnuggets. Which one? It might actually be those at this point. I don't know, though. Yeah, I know, right, sketo nuggets served with high tide sauce. You want to kill. Never eat another again. We guarantee turn you off to all fast food. Speaking of mosquitoes and flies and things, the other day, well, not the other day, it was a while ago. How I go out to my car and I'm like, what the Hell is that on the roof and I look and it's two flies fucking on there like doggy style. I was able to get a nice like. I'm like, really, has my car been blessed? Good thing my car's white, you know, to hide the stains. You know, as far as I know, the flies eyes. They don't work from the back, so they don't even know who's fucking. I'm basically like who, here we go, here, here's a nice spot here that. I was like, what the hell, like I said, and I had to be perverted and take pictures. You know, supplies. Actually have to do that. Yeah, actually have to cop that. I thought that those eggs just kind of gushed out of him, the little vermin they are. HMM, what, barely they do a doggy style. Well, I look for a good day out there. They got to waste any other time fucking. I mean only to day we're doing. You just be fly fucking all day. Hell Yeah, I'm gonna Day to live. I'M gonna ball all every fly I see. Hell Yeah, man, do it, and you're like and I'm done. You're done. You populated, you've created a hundred thousand more flies right now, like I've done my job. Yes, Randy little bastard, the fun with flies, though, you were that fly. I do know it. Magic trick. Look flies, that I can tell everybody. Have you ever...

...heard this? No, okay, so take a jar right, put some put some garbage in it. That'll tract some flies. Once there's a few flies in the jar, put the lid on it and stick it in the freezer. All right, all of the flies go into hibernation. What you do then is you say to your friend, I have discovered the secret of giving life, and you go and get one of the frozen flies and hold it in your hand and say, see, here is a dead fly, and if you blow in your hand, you can warm it up enough that it will, quote unquote, come back to life, just coming out of hibernation, and it will fly out of your hand and people will think you can bring flies back from the dead. The only problem with that then, is then they're taking it down the more to try to revive their grandma or some shit you like. Dude, it's just a fucking magic trick. Really think I can bring Shit back the life? It works with fly. They were talking about flies people. Yeah, not live rose, I froze, I killed him ahead of time. Yeah, unless you wants stick Nanda and the freezer and come back to one a year or you, this is not going to work out. You know, fries, I do for free, but grandma's that's got to be tenzero dollars, easy, right, a check. Guess you'd just got out of your bank. What do you want to do? Need some storage space? I leave you sixtyzeros. Well, my cost fifty, but then she'll take her money back. You don't want her to come back to life, stupid idiot. Right. Yeah, grandma comes back. She's like, I'm spending that shit now. Yeah, it was like, give me my money, I'm going to Disney world and I'm gonna live there there, spend Azero dollars a day, easy. Now, man, this is this is New Jersey. She's going to go to the casino and she's going to go pretty Bingo. So you know there is the off chance you might win. I know it's so much fun. It's a thing is now there's less players at the table, so the house odds are going through the roof. So don't go now to gamble unless you play like video poker or you play slots, and then if you just play slots, you might as well just give me your money when you come to Atlantic City and forget about it. Don't know, I've done pretty good on the slots. Yeah, you've won more than you've lost. Yeah, because you've only want a few dollars. No, quite a bit. What was your biggest hot machine pay out? I think it was I'm gonna say seven hundred and fifty, something like that. You could spend that in a night, it was. And the stupid thing was it was on a penny machine, right. I'm talking about a big pad like a hundred grand or, you know, fifty grand. Did you ever hit like that on a slot machine? None, nothing big like that was so seven hundred and fifty was your biggest payout? Yeah, that was the biggest payout. And I think there's a couple times during Bingo that my vocal teacher and I have won the jacket Jackpot, so it's pretty decent money. And I was like yeah, the time it's like, yeah, I wasn't even old enough to play, but she's like, yeah, here's an ID here, right, because it double the chances of winning, you know. And then once everybody started to know me going in, there's like I didn't even need to show the idea anymore. So it's like I started gambling it like one thousand fifteen sixteen. They didn't care, they didn't here. It's like it was fun him. But yeah, it's like I kind of missed the slot machines and everything. It was just fun. It was. I don't think I miss it much. I think the most I ever won was about threezero playing poker. No, we were playing Black Jack, twenty five a hand and we ran that up. And what was nice was that they gave us comps to the buffet and stuff because they wanted to give the three thousand dollars back. Oh Yeah, which we're not gonna do. NOPE, paid our rent for four months. It was awesome. Hell to the yeah, free food and got back on the bus to Philly and said thank you. New Jersey. Yes, so sometimes it's like there you go, there just was on the playboy club was still in existence. That was a long time ago. It's like, wow, can they even be one of those anymore? With the new state of my Sa Jenny, HMM, I'm allowed to go google at tits anymore? Other than that? The Strip club? No, of course not. No, he didn't do that. Out in the streets. I think I saw some painting. There was a woman who had her clothing designed. I think she lived in the sixteen, Fifteen through sixteen century, a noble woman who always would expose her left breast because it was her favorite one. Oh, yeah, you see that? Mean? Yes, I did. Yeah, I was like why are we doing that? Like all the guys were creaming over her...

...right one, though. There was a problem. They're all like all these stories of how they saw her right one. I mean I'm sure right now it's like titty air conditioning would be great. This hundred and twenty degree. That's strap them on there. How would that work? Which I don't know your dress. Yeah, just like like just out there that has some air conditioning for Titti's and maybe like a titty gel pack wrap there we put it in the fiezer for a little while, like the bras already got it in there. Yeah, there we go. That's our next adventure. All right, there years with little flaps that can stick Gael packs and that you freeze. Hell Yeah, all right we go. I talk to my buddy Mark Polish. There he's got the icy bag. You already has a purse with them built in. there. We go and take your chocolate out in the summer and won't melt. I think your cosmetics in Your Med's too, but we know the chocolate is the most the child was the most important thing. Here's my insulin and as my chocolate, right next to the incident. Right next they're at chocolate bastard. Is what gave me the incident. But yeah, that would be awesome, wasn't that? It was all the iced tea, track, sweet tea, sweet tea. I love sweet tea. I used to go this place, chef reading is now Kelsey and they're on Kentucky Avenue. Well, his sweet tea, I was used to wonder where, where does it stop? Where do you add enough sugar that it cannot get any sweeter? And apparently you can. His his concoction was sugar, high fructose, Corn Syrup, honey. He put every goddamn sweet thing in there and you could drink one glass of that and you would feel very weird afterwards, even if you were normal blood sugar kind of person, and feel like you're diabetic. Man, and he had all that fried food he'd maken. You would just leave there in a food coma, ONLY IN NEW JERSEY. About New Jersey, that's what I'm talking about. Right there, we're a pizza places, only a front, but they still make damn good Stromboli's. Oh yeah, I remember going. The Guy was always taking bets on the College Games and I got a pepperoni Stromboli and there was hardly any pepperoni in it. And the next week I came back and that was because, folks, that was a numbers joint. You weren't really supposed to order food there, and everybody from the neighborhood apparently knew this, but me. And when I went back the next week to not place my bets but get another Stromboli, I said to him, Ay, I really wasn't a lot of pepperoni Stromboli. It was kind of a joke there wasn't a lot of pepperoni in it. I don't know how you've called up and he got so angry. Cycle you know, not enough pepperoni. Huh, not enough pepperoni. Meanwhile the phone's ringing off the hook because Sony wants to bet the Notre Dame game. We went home that night. That's Stromboli was so packed with pepperoni. He probably put four or five people's pepperoni. Now I felt bad for everybody else who got ripped off that night, but I sure had a hell of a pepperoni Stromboli. But I never go back. There's like you want to make a bet, you come in here. That's something you'll find in Jersey. We know have wrotting money laundering. Yes, pretty much used to say that about Chinese restaurants, but it's about every other restaurant down Oh yeah, Oh yeah. Up until a few years ago we have still had restaurants down here at the shore that would only take cash. Yet you know it's yeah, you know it's a sketchy place when it's just cash only. Well, you know that they're doing something. I don't know if the food might be good, but the books are a little cooked. Yeah, just a little bit like, well, I don't have any cash, like, well, there's an ATM over there in the corner and only cost five dollars for the service fade. Right now they're making the five dollars on top of yeah, is there ATM? So they said charge and that's what they get. It's one of those old, old ones. Wouldn't like an led screen in it. Oh God. Yeah, you're worried about putting your card if because everyone in India is going to get your number all of a sudden. I know it was one of those card machines that you put it in there and then it gets copied and, yeah, for you know what, you're out of like money, and your identity has been wiped off. Your Clam Chowders paid for. Hell, yeah, some good clam Chowder, damn it. That's right. went the other night for some at the Tennessee Avenue Beer Hall and I find out this love of my life, Carly Gwen, is the hostess there. She used to be on the radio here. Boy, I love that girl, but Chah, she has. She didn't feel the same in way about me, that's for sure. As soon as chicks start blocking me...

...from all their social feeds. I know that I've done wrong somehow, but she left the market and went up to Philly for a short time and now she's back host to sing at the Tennessee avenue beer holes. So she gets my vote for hostess of the year. Whoever gives those out of what a a see nightlife awards or something? I'm going to nominate her right now for next year. Hopefully she'll be around perfect. Yeah, but they would. They would have the best clam chowder down here, I think, in Atlantic City, Tennessee Avenue Beer Hall. I have done the clam chowder tour, so I know what I'm talking about, just like I eat wings everywhere I go. Wings are delicious, wings, wings, wings, helloas waits. I guess there's like some things like that taste better from Jersey. Then there are like if you go other places, like I definitely we have the best tomatoes and blueberries. And what other taste do we have? Like I know some local pizza places. Jersey girls taste pretty good. Yeah, they do not gonna lie. I don't all tastes like chocolate. Now she was from Pennsylvania, so she tasted like child. So long as they don't taste like low tide. Oh that's a taste, that a smell you don't want to have. The same time the WHOO ones. It's I'd going in. When's it coming in? Lady, like good board, you know, watch that Swat and Matt stuff. Yes, scrub it now, just get a bath bomb and just shove it up there. Did We talk about New Jersey at all this show? I can't even recall now. We live here. That's about it. You live here with I guess I'm not extolling the virtues of it. I would not tell people to move here. Yeah, be either. Yeah, it's great for a visit, but yeah, you'll live here now and then. I know it's like talking about other places to move and everybody's like, well, it's expensive there. It's like, well, it's expensive in Jersey. We're kind of used to it. Yeah, they, they. I guess they did this everywhere in a country put the gas prices went down, down, down when we were all in quarantine and didn't need gas. And now that we are back and able to travel again, a little more normal, of course the gas prices are right where they were. I thought they'd stay down for a while, but that's just a myth. Of course I drive a car that requires premium so I never get a break. Anyway, I know the guess prices were great when they were low, but I was like, you know what, the summertimes coming, the shoe bees are coming in, everything is getting back jacked up. I was like here we go, here we go. I think I went to this little place us gas, HMM, and I don't think the quality of their gas is is very good, because my car keeps idling when it turn it off and he only does that when he use crappy gas. And the weirdest thing was I pull up and I hand the Guy Twenty Bucks and I said at my gas gage doesn't really work. Let's see if this twenty'll fit in it, and he comes back to me goes that'll be twenty three and I'm like, I'm sorry, what, because it'll be twenty two. I like well, first of all, I handed you twenty and told you that's how much gas I wanted. Why do I owe you twenty three? You put forty three worth the gas and he goes, Oh, I forgot, you gave me the twenty. It's only three dollars. So, dude, that was all the cash I had. What? What is this? Your scam? He goes, Hey, forget it. What's a gallon between friends pay? So obviously that is his scam. You know, I give me twenty, it'll be twenty five. When? What did I tell you? Twenty? I know. was like, where the hell do you here? Five, like we're the and well, don't you don't you set the machine. It just turns itself. I don't even get I know right, but between that and the bad gas, I don't think I'm going there anymore. That is one thing. In Jersey, all these little mom and pop gas stations still exist with weird names and guys and turbines. So of them are really good and then others you're like, Oh hell no, stay far away from that placed with the name brand stuff. I think, yeah, this is one hell of a show. I don't know what the Hell we talked about. By think we pretty much talked about everything. Well, that's what we always do. We do nothing at all and everything at the same time. Let's fix a subject and we'll get to it eventually. Yeah, why don't you send it's a subject out there, mighty listener, whoever you are. It's like we picked New Jersey. We live in New Jersey. What more do...

...you want from us? And will bust on your state any all time, no problem. Oh Yeah, well, I think we're just about out of time here. I'm beauty. Check US oven with it, www dot in the showcom.

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