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Beauty and the Beast
Beauty and the Beast

Episode · 1 year ago

Episode 30 -After Episode 29

ABOUT THIS EPISODE

Welcome to Beauty and the Beast Episode 30 - After Episode 29! Find out what Beauty and the Beast have been up to lately! 

Check out RampantlyLA www.rampantly.la

See Beauty in the New York Underground Comedy Fest Decemeber 5th at 11:30pm in the Anything Goes Show https://www.eventbrite.com/e/122001990237

Coming to you almost live from lakeside. I'm eating. Hey Beast, welcome back, welcome back, Whoo, episode number thirty. We finally made it, and mome by making it, we made a whoooo number thirty not in the cane yet, about an hour from now, so thanks for tuning in. The road outside of beauty's studios, beautiful palace in the middle of the woods, is all fucked up, that's for sure. And ISAIG when I should have zagged, and thank goodness for things like cell phones and GPS, or else I'd probably be out in the Boondocks, still somewhere in egg harbor township, driving in circles looking for landmark. Yeah, I guess I should have told you that there is freaking construction going on. It's been that way and I'll probably be that way until the springtime. You have to go like around one way and through the other way and go down the one way and go whoo, and then you finally get in any of them. What was great with seeing people approaching what was obviously a closed street with barricades and police, still insisting on driving the forty feet that was open to them and then doing a you turn, Cluster Fox of these people like yeah, none O. There's barriers, there's police, there's signs. Should not talk down there unless you lived down there, while I'm like giving the bath of Hell. Maybe that guy loves down there. Now he's a bone head. Well, technically on the sign it says for local traffic only. Yeah, you live here or the two houses that are there, then you can, but if you're trying to get all the way out to the next road, forget it. It's like, you know, it's real, Kay. Possibly be closed? Well, honey, there's signs all over, flashing lights, barricades and police officers. Well, it could be closed for me. That's for all those other schmucks, man, for guys who didn't hit enough road blocks. There you go. there. Here's another one. Here's another spontaneous construction ahead. Like I said, it's going to be that way, probably till the springtime or beyond. They're they're widening the parkway. Yeah, baby, everything's getting wider. I know it through Covid we're all getting a bit wide. Are you now? Workers? For sure? I know right, it's called. You know, it's like you heard of the Freshman fifteen. Now get ready for the quarantine. Twenty. Hell, it might be the quarantine thirty right now. If you had double Chins, make them triple. If you had triple, make them quadruple. I'm over here handing out Chins and rolls, you know, like I'm Oprah, like if she still existed, like wow, she exists now. She's part of it, she's head of the Illuminati, she's their secretary's Ah, I didn't get my covid spread. I got it just a past when we had three thanksgivings in a row. You know, when you got three, when you got a big family, but you got a limit the amount of people who can get together any given time. You've got to have multiple Thanksgiving dinners. That's right, folks, that's...

...all the trimmings, three fucking times. Yeah, so I'm still still kind of feeling the effects of that. Wow, I know I'm still on Thanksgiving Coma Myself, like good Lord, and I didn't eat even has that much. There's no left. So there weren't even left theres because we devoured everything from the get go. It's like one and done right, yeah, we're around, he eat all this shit. That's the thirty pound Turkey. Let's do it. Bring it bring it, like we're making much sore. Were like, well, we're not, we're you know, we're glad you're not coming. We're eating your share, which every year we've had to pass on. Every year we've gone hungry because you've come over. I would not use your baby who now it's all ours. It's all ours, and give me that Turkey, give me that dirty, turny, turny, dirty, dirty. Come on, come on, Turkey, Turkey, Turky, and we want to was the coolest side dishes and you know, nobody had the same ones and the deviled eggs were different at every party and it was just it was just an eating frizy. Was Awesome. Devil Days, Oh my God, they are the best. They are the best. I've got new recipes that don't use Mayo whatever, and no one knew it. I was like this is delicious, like there's not even a hits of mayonnaise. They were so proud of themselves because, let's face it, eggs out is like probably one of the worst things in the whole world to eat, but you make it the deviled egg, Whooa, not, it's a side dish. It's like, bring it on. It's like the grind that aren't made with any Mao or anything. It's like it's so great, God, it's sweet mustard Russian dressing. And then I chopped up the I mean know, I just took all the juice and put that in there. That's a secret. Chop up you any get all the juice out of it, squeeze it all out, but you don't use the onion that I use. Those like you just wasted my whole fucking life just a squeeze in my juice out of me, dude, place put on the side. He did later do something with it. Doesn't make that you feel bad and will fucking life waiting to get in your hand. You get cut up and all you do is squish it. But that is one of my secrets. It's like I meion juice. Is that the new like nut juice? All, that's what I call Um. Yeah, the nutmelk like. So I was like nuts. Then those my cats, so I figured if they're drinking it, yeah, can't be all that bad. But my cats go crazy for that stuff. The fact I have to watch out that I make sure that I don't lock one of them in the fridge because every freaking time I opened it sticking in it. Yes, yes, you want to go in there. What's in there? All that's stupid fucking milk. It's not even made from cows. I never right. I'm like, what the Hell? When the hell did nuts produce milk? Like, what the Hell is that? Like? What Vegan Hippie came up with that? Like literally like, okay, yeah, not juice. Now I'm gonna drink, you know, cow's milk, because I know where that I was from my yeah, I never my friends served his vegan friends, who are really strict. What he said, come on over, we're going to have some plant based hamburgers. But they were real and I said to him, I said to him, after I heard this store, I said, did you know that that could really make a person who's a real vegan sick because they don't have any have any stomach juice. They got, they got no propensity for all beef. And he said Yeah, I didn't realize that till two days later when they called me and they were as stop, you guys still friends? You got out of them. I'M gonna have...

...my over spaghettio. See how it works. I could never do that to anybody. I can. I can ever mess with their system, you know, like whatever we had like Maddie and Alec over their vegans and stuff. It's like we I was like what do you guys eat? You know, was like I'm gonna, you know, make sure that I got the right stuff and everything where I have, you know, plenty of fruit and things like that. They could eat, you know, pries, like great like that. Yeah, they can, Great. Yeahs they you crazy. You know, they got, you know, pop more, but she still eat. used to eat the hardcore stuff in front of them because there's something because like yeah, whatever you want. There's like, Oh my God, how could you possibly put that in your mouth? They never mind you. Yeah, and actually Um, like whenever we got together, it's like I actually tried their stuff and I was fine with it. It's like I didn't you know, it didn't taste like round or anything like. That's one thing. I mean we split things before, like I remember they had this awesome Broccoli stuff, no cauliflower, cauliflower over the beret that we would always split and that was pretty good. Sounds like. Yeah, so's pride given ranch dressing. It's always good, probably, although there's the vegans that don't even do dairy. So that's the hard part. Like what the hell the cheese away from me, I don't like no jees yeah, she's no dressing, no nothing. They go now rotten. No, right, yeah, pretty much for you. I try to stay away from that. Like mostly I'm fifty lactose and tolerant. What that means is I can have it and either it's going to grew with me or it's not. You never know when it's coming. So, you know, I gamble every time, like okay, yeah, let's get some ice cream. We're good, we're good. Let's go like five hundred miles away and get ice cream. I'm fucked. Yeah, that's how it works. All those works, I always tell people. All you if you constipated, just take a job and get about fifty miles away from your toilet or a nearest facility, and suddenly nature will call. Yeah, it's a good way to start a diet, though. I don't know about happening. I'm not sure if I should start a diet or just shut my trap for a little while. Sometimes that's all you need is to shut your trap for a while. Yeah, you know, maybe you know, shoving some thing green. Every one in the hanging out with really super skinny people to that that makes you look there. That's if we, yeah, you skinny, fuck you, and I hanging out, we look bad. We were let out. Average is fucking peep and so much average. I think I'm shrinking now. Every time I go to the doctor they tell me I'm like a half an inch fucking shorter. Like this is totally fucking up my body mass index. Dude, I know right now my height supposed to be nine feet, you bastard. Yeah, looks six all the home. I supposed to get there if I keep drinking. Yeah Right, they won't let you fucking take it with your heels on. You know, I know write the bastards. I used to be six five, but I was wearing platform shoes. You're right, so so with. So I wanted to talk to you because you've been so you know, ever since the pandemic started, you've been so fucking busy with your virtual comedy shows. ME. What's that doing for you? How's that? How's that treat me? I've seen some good ones, I've seen some stinkers, but then again, you know, for the most part I think it's been a lot of fun. It has been. It's like I've doin this awesome new comedy platform room. It's going, it's going like completely insane. It's rampantly La, as by my amazing friend Jolie, who started this whole mess when the pandemic first it. Like, I mean we're talking about we're having more mics on there now, like...

...there's the blue mic, which is, you know, the classic, the starter mic, there's the red mic, there's the blue annexed, there's Burmizas, I believe that's the Spanish English one. Now and then a few more just joined on this week. Hold on a second. Now she just kind of glossed over. It's rampantly La. But just just before we get too far into this, go to www dot rampantly dot la, which I guess stands for it lost on Enjol you some yes, sure, Los Angeles. So go to wwwrampantly dot La and then you'll get some details on just what the fuck she's talking about. Yes, so it's like opening like this giant portal. You know, it's fretting faster than the virus portals. Open it. It's great. It's which is amazing, like, even if rampantly doesn't produce the shower whatever. It's like. She just wants to get a whole bunch of shows together so people will listen, people will tune in. If people want to spot on something, it's like they'll know where to find it. It's great because it's done like a fucking thousand hours of comedy at this point, not that I think that was like hollow week when we did. That's how you reason. This is the thing about these these chicks on comedy on you know this girl Jolie, and beauty here. They're beautiful, plus they got brains. They can run all this shit. They know more about technology the most you fucking guys do out there. I guarantee it, and you know, you got to give him a lot of respect for that. They're not just on the microphone there. They're running the show, guys. You're running the show. It's about fucking time to women were running the show. I'll sell the popcorn, I don't give a shit. I'll sit there and all of Jolie and the queenest blush, I don't care. Oh yeah, I don't think you heard. During the month of December for the bluem mic, I am at a dry December. I cannot mention the words blue. How we're taking it to the next level. Why? Because we need to stretch our comedic abilities. Yeah, and I got some great feedback last and I actually Julie said that I was channeling in some Andy Kaufman, which was amazing, and I was like, Oh my God, it's like totally cool. You know, I was. I was shy and scared at first, you know, without the splush master coming into play. Now those are the only my the mics that I can't do this flush. I can't do it on the blue mic or the Red Mike, but any place else that, you know, I want to go, I can sploosh all I want. But we're trying to, you know, develop into like corporate comedy, because a lot of new shows are paying shows and if on zoom. That's why we're like, okay, there's some of us that are taking this challenge because we want it, you know, better ourselves, and we want to be able to form at least places. Want to be more marketable and mainstream, sounds like to me. I heard that whole the thing about another can't be any bombs in the background. Well, yeah, image. I mean she wants it to be that kind of place. I'm her. I mean we are actually going to have one that SHR moms walking house just, I believe, just the song show. I think the Blue Mike is the only one that you can't have that on street. Other that show. They say a joke exactly. That's what we're hoping for. I hope one of my comedic friends, a Gino, daily own. I hope he's the one that gets the hoofs that one, because he is high as felt and he is funny. Yeah, he's funny. I heard. Is Shit. I hear. I know. I like them, though. It's like he's cool, he's cool. It's like I'm a lot like to you can fucking Mute fucking bad comics. If I'm sitting in the club, what am I gonna do? Get up say hey, hold on, what is fucking guys off?...

I know it's just like Click and I've been mute. You know, I don't need to see my fucking face and be like this is who fucking listening to us? Fuck this shit. You're not at least nice to and everybody. It's nice to put a face with a God. There's always like Covie mask does take thank ten years off me. I'm trying to I'm gonna get what I was fucking full fits with. Oh, speaking of full face ones, we just did bad Santa, Zombie Santad underground again. What a blast that was. We had a Zombie Sana, the undead. We had trash, trash Santa, who's the owner of the store Mike? There was, of course, south Dr's Jacent Santa and I came in my frank the bunny suit, or Santa Go, and we made so many babies cry. Yeah, yeah, you laugh, but they were balling their eyes out and my dad was like this is this is not right. You know, pop, I blame the parents, the ones who bring their kids to this, and I have to blame the parents of the guys. Who Know who raised these stupid motherfuckers. Meeting Me Dad, he's like yeah, I blame myself too, but not too much. Yeah, that's why he was able to give up his drinking. I guess, because he really doesn't blame himself too much for any anymore. that. Yeah, what are you're raising alcoholic. But then he finally grew up me like Han that shit really mad, as does all that shit and region about, and I got grandkids. Fuck it, torture the little basterds. It's their turn next, and then the ball just keep rolling. As the one thing I have inherited this new family because my son's girlfriend, her sister and brother have kids. So thanksgiving. You know, I've always enjoyed being around kids because they help you to stay young if you let them, you know, and one of the ways you let that they just let them talk to you. Just whatever fucking gibbers just coming out. Just let him say it, you know. But you also at the same time, when you're getting to learn, you know, the ropes with new kids, you gotta stay very fucking hands off. So you know I've certainly did that. But I held my share of babies. This weekend is really different, really weird, especially during the pandemic, you know, you just so worried about these little tykes and like they're not even fucking mind. But this I raise like a covid baby away. Wow, that's a lot of babies, but you know, love this. I'll tell you what. We're just sitting there on the couch watching some football after dinner, and so let me see, there's a there's a there's two little boys, there's two little girls, there's two babies. So it's all working out and all of a sudden I'm just sitting there and it and they come parading out while I'm's Batman what? I'm Super Bad. There's a cop and a firefighter and they're, I'll just now on the scene and you're supposed to drop fucking everything and pretend that your part of this gag. Over sorted fucking super here, and that's the beauty of it, right. You know, if you're carunt, you go, I fuck get, fuck off. I'm watching some football here. So the fuck's wrong with Youse kids? But if you're not, yeah, sober, bad's air. fucking bad answer. Let's go fine wire,...

...like Oh, yeah, yeah, this shit, like we're running with this. This is awesome. I was sucking fucking awesome. Yes, yeah, yeah, I don't get to use my imagination much anymore. I'm creative and all that, but I mean really, just calling flights of fantasy that's only sexual anymore. It's all in my head, because ain't nothing fucking happening. That's true. I know. I'm like stuck in sausage fill right now. Yeah, Dude, actually paid for an Oldie fansy cap for some girl just to get just I mean, I know it's out there up, but she's a local. So just that was all like, yeah, I actually kind of know this girl did then again, I don't fucking know her. Oh my God, totally cancel that Shit. That's right. You have one yet? No, not since breakfast. Wow, how are people supporting you through Patreon, through only fans? What's happening out there now? How do we support Christine other than bly buying tickets to the blue mic performance? I think that's about it for right now. It's like, once I break into doing a little bit more comedy, I'm not sure if I want to try to go back on Patreon or if I want to try something else. I mean there's like so many things out there and I've tried it before with my art and it went south. So I kind of gave up on it. And but now, I mean maybe doing like videos and voiceovers and things. Maybe that all, you know, help with it. So it's like have a website where people can buy your artwork. What do you use? It's or something. No, I used store envy. Store envy, store envy, because it's free and they don't shut down your Goddamn shot for no reason, like he does. I should tell my friend life. Yeah, the thriving business selling serial killer merchandise, and then that's show him dance of the stuff condone violence. It was probably making a thousand dollars a month when you're not making that up. So that thousand dollars a month back, you motherfuckers. I know. Right. And yes, definitely store and be over et see rules. You can do your own cue pons and things like that, and it's totally free. You know, they do have a paid one, but you don't have to do that if you don't want to, if you just want to get your merch up and going and don't have to worry about anything. And they don't really charge you. They charge a little fee for processing, but not what Ed'Sy did. Everybody on its he's like, Oh, I got up my price like ten just to cover fees. You know, it's it makes no sense, as like, you know, beautiful necklace for like twenty s and now thirty or forty because of all these fees that you have to pay. Plus et see makes you pay for every little item that you put up there. I'm like, I know there are success stories, but I've just had bad, bad news, bad luck. I've heard people, people that I know, people that I used to do shows with, like the comic book conventions. They had their stuff on there and it's just shut them plain all down. And that was the only source of income. You know, it's like wow, well, that's pretty whack. Anybody out there is only source of income is et see really should have a plan B, because you never know they don't have. Well, of course, condoning violence is pretty much like you could take Gott or leave that. How am I condoning violence if I show you a picture of marrow of Charles Manson? Okay, Marri miss and I understand, but like, who's you see your favorite serial killer? Hey, it's on every Goddamn television station out there. And that's not condoning violence. And I well, they're not selling this shit on et sie. They own a major r networking with the fucking wine which...

...is what Ansi can do too. I know pretty much right well, the people that had it up there. They were going from Comic Book Convention to Comic Book Convention and of Course Two thousand and twenty fuck that all up. But this was even beforehand. They're they're both like on disability, things like that. Yeah, like things that they couldn't work like. It's just like a big mess and it really stunk when their whole thing got shut down. So you can now kick start them. Yeah, pretty much for you. The ground Sir Room thing is proud. But I believe they started with store and be like I said, I've been up there for a while. I'm you find me. It's optimist artistry. Oh, he stored me. I thought it was shopping. You see store and me stop and they have another shop. One I can't remember what it's called, but I know you definitely have to pay for that. But I was like it would fuck it. I was like I just need someplace where I can just put my stuff, put it for sale, you know, not having to worry about like renewing it, like one it goes out like that's. E. would charge you another feet to put it back up and after like I think thirty days or something. It was crazy. It's like whatever. And the other parts it doesn't. Never start like that, you know, at first it's all hey, welcome, and then it's like let us get every pig out of I know it's possibly dad, or free trial has ending. Yeah, you must pay and pay and pay, and you pay while you're asleep even it's like pretty much Britnant. So yeah, that's that's the way I do. That's the way I go. I mean even from Covid I had to put up, you know, some downloadable art. You know. I was like, Oh, I didn't want to do that, but I was like, people were like, Oh, I don't want to get any packages, you know, like they didn't want anything. I was like, yeah, I don't want cars. Everybody's fucking getting paggies out the ASS game. Get your backs, because there's a fucking be waiting in line. Get there's there's my God, damn package. Amost perisable things you order. They're rotting in the warehouse. Will get them to you soon as possible. Oh my God, yesterday, Yesterday, Oh my God. Prime example of this, like best buy has where you can pick it up or whatever, like you place your ordering, you just got and pick it up. Well, the other day it was perfect. I went and got my computer and everything. One thing I forgot because I haven't had a desktop and so wait, your computer, tell them her super spiffy high power gaming computer. It's not just any computer. It's got a fucking neck crylic windows so you can see it's on. Shit blinking and shake the put a little action fucking figure in there. I know right West only I do have one. I just didn't plug it in right. So I'm sorry, but yeah, you never got you don't go in enough detail sometimes is this night. No computer folks as well as computer, as you see it a magazine. Yep. So it's like it's got to be used for like streaming and comedy, and now it's fast enough power where I can do animations and things like that. So it's like that was one of the other things. It's like for artwork. Oh my God, this thing like the same powers on like Bam. You know, it's crazy that fan that's on there right now. It's just set on normal. They have a quiet setting. I'm like, if I put it on quiet, I'll think it's dead, like what. Like I've never had a computer with that much damn speed before. It's crazy, but anyway, okay, yeah, the best buy store, the best buy store, and hit one thing I forgot when having a desktop, because I haven't had one so long. I forgot that you need speakers with it, because I'm an idiot because I'm so used to using my laptop and everything, and so I put in, you know, the order yesterday and morning, you know, to pick up the speakers or whatever, and I get there and they make you wait outside for like pick up, like there's only four spaces that you can go into, and then you click in that you're there for them to bring it out for herbside or whatever it's. I was like, okay, it's like the apps not going to work again. So I went there, I did my little thing say and some ladies outside, you know, with a printed out paper,...

...says like how can I check in? I don't have a phone's like this is all I have as a piece of paper. I've been waiting here, out here, for an hour. Like the really bad part is they only had one person running things out to the cars. They had like one cashier on the inside and like one person standing at the door. Like I even went in there because I got frustrated. I was like the lady that was going off, she thought she was going to kill somebody. First off, nobody was social distancing. I was trying to stay within my own little blok. You know, do my thing, you know. And then another guy comes up and he's like hey, hey, I ordered this for pick up. It's like, I'm going to pick this up. Where's your manager? Where's your manager? Where's your manager? Like him and the lady just going at it like yeah, one see the manager won't I don't even think the manager existed. All right. Meanwhile, like I said, they're working. This one guy like raggedly, like I'm sure he quit today, like he was doing the best that he could. So it's like he's going back and forth and everything. Some people were trying to stop and was like Hey, I'm here, get my order. It's like, hold on, you're going to have to wait, like we're about an hour behind, you know. People are like, Whoa, I don't know, I can't wait for an hour, can't we? You know. So they're going off and this one other guy, he's like I want to refund, refund, refund, refund. I was like, Oh my God, I'm gonna get killed here. So I was like screw it. I'm like I'm just going to walk in the store and ribe whatever the hell speakers that I can find and get the hell out there and just have the refund the order that I did online. You know, I was like easy as that. So I was in and out my five minutes. I'm like, let's not do that again. But I was like, oh my gout. I was like they're gonna start right here, best buy. I'm like, I don't need that now, like I'm out. I'm and you can visit best buy and man's landing as a great store, but I don't know. Like I said, it was a fun guys story. Was that, lady? It was a really bad story. First worded me first world with beauty. I was like what they need to do is they need to have like time slows at the grocery store. Fuckers, quare's your having everywhere, Quinn, why keep a job when it you can stay at home and get paid almost as much? And then you know to don't have to carry some woman's expensive fucking computer you'll never be able to ever buy in your own lifetime. To her, I know this one was on sale. was three hundred off. It was a great fright. Of people have used cars probably cost less than that. I don't know. I got a pretty good deal. I am not mentioning it. She's not. They had a great deal. I was going. I've been in my in my life. I purchased a car for cheap, paid for this, but not much, rob but not much, not much, because I got a good deal. I was waiting for Black Friday. I was like okay, well, one day way. It was like Thanksgiving. I'm like one day away, one day away. I kept checking, checking, checking's like nothing. I was the thing is never going on sale and it's hard to eat. Buy Gaming System First, like it'd be great if I knew have put one together, which I'm sure that I could, but it's like I don't know all the day it took to that Dell Guy. Yeah, so I was like well, what? I was like, I've got to get something because I need a faster speed for doing comedy and everything. And I don't wait minute. Why you faster speed for Connie because he's streaming shows. Yes, streaming show. Yeah, it's mostly the streams. Like we've had problems, I guess Dream Yard, but I'm on stream yard. Tomorrow on Dream Yard I'm hosting shit. That is, I'll be hosting the last reckless comedy for this year. They're working on we're doing like a big, like Christmas show. There's going to be like people don't Improv and things like that, and Comedians and a few other things. So it's like can that runs? He wanted to take a little break because he's he's running himself ragged, like actually he's doing comedy in it tomorrow, like he'll work all the controls, like the backstage stuff and everything, and you'll try. He does, he does, he's got sometimes his Internet is good and then other time it has been horrible. Lives. Is some kind of subsidized housing or something, something like the lights on when the fucking sun goes down. The Guy,...

...like I said, he's pretty much on his own. I don't know, is battery operated a lantern? I don't know his whole back story or where he's at, but at least he's got a roof over his head there. Still trying to produce multiple things. I've seen some young guys there, but there's this weird there's this weird style of comedy in it must be based on like being in a pub and telling one liners. There's a lot of these guys. It's just one penny, one liner after another, and and some of them I've certainly stolen right up stealing no one. They're fucking England. Dude, come on over here, let's fuck it up. You know you want to mess with me. I still you shit all day. I said some of them gonna going on like Um. I really like I'm shouting out names here. You know, Michael Monk House. He's the one that does some good ones, but he makes some entertaining you know. I was like, I like that. I love his premise of everything and he uses song lyrics and everything and he gets them. Any guy loves one directions so much right now the spice girls, spice girls and I have at he hates that. Penny talks about them all the time. I know it's funny. I said he'll be on tomorrow shows. Wasn't jerking off the spice girls. We're exactly. He said. It's like I love the now was that, oh, the bangles, they're beat off material, for sure. Walks like in Egyptian. Why you look Chinese, saying I didn't know Egyptians were Chinese. You knows. Damn it now. I was a visual joke, yes, and translate into podcast. Speaking of visuals, though, it's like, hum, aren't we going visual soon? I have no idea. I'm gonna hit the treadmill a little first. You get that out, your coding mask, you'll fin off teach you how to set everything up. yeahtterly, how I do forgettin out. No, it's poking the camera. It's out too far. fucking jerk. So, yeah, we'll see. We'll see. I love the idea of green screens and we can be in where we want. Oh Yeah, definitely, and I would love our podcast, you know, to have our beauty in the beast behind us, because that love really cool. We have to sit near each other then, and we're socially distance. Yah. Know, you do that from home and he goes, Oh, listen, let's hook you up with a green screen and lights, like let's get you going and technological prowess. I know about this, you can. I just fucking line tell people like don't sun the fucking you know, like that. Hand to me their fucking cell phone every ten minutes, like catchup, look at that's is this work like? Like, like, because you heard computer in the you know how every fucking happen to world works. You know ivery fended been software. Oh yeah, they're all exactly the fucking same. Oh my God, that's so that's like. Those are the two things. And every tell people you know anything about computers and and to tell people you're allergic to onions when you know a little bit of advice. It's through life. You have to lie. If in let's kids are lying by omission, but you don't know nothing about nothing. Hurt you not a fucking help anybody. They like I shit me, want you know every fucking where. There worry, though, when you tell the people the fuck you start to forget. You Start Forget because now they have your knowledge. HMM, like, I knew that last week, but I told so it's so bad and I fucking can't even remember. Yeah, I always say it's like I've crs. Can't remember Shit, the vampire sucking information. Yeah, like do...

...this, do that. Well, it's all gonna Relash your question and they know the answer. They already fucking know the answer. Yo. What is it? That is some kind of reinforcement in their feeble brain, probably like Oh, yeah, yeah, I know, we're talking about how you go, you're Oh, okay, I got a flipping here, and how people argue with you and you agree with them and they still fucking argue with you anyway. I'm sorry, are you even listening? I'm not listening to you anymore. I agreed with you. You want. How dare you would agree with me, just like with them, like with working zoom, like there's so many damn functions to that. Yeah, I just got, you know, behind the controls on for Hallow Week and how the like highlight people and Shit like that. Like I had no clue I was doing show. Oh, what was his name? I can't even remember. He was supposed to be hosting ever whatever, and like it just like it got cluster fucked and like I was just supposed to be there, like running off names, like who's up next, and keeping an eye on the time, because these were like slotted shows, so you had to make sure that you were done at certain time or also fucked up the next show, you know. So it turns out he had no idea what he was doing. So I ended up having to run things, and I want to, you know, you give a shout out the Charlotte targer. You make good help, fucking I so much, I know it, just by running tack. We now heard out to do that without her. It's like I would, you know, had like a heart attack or something. It was. It was one of those nights anyway that trickled down like like the first show like totally killed my vib on things and it had gotten me like so upset with things, and then to come back and do a show, I'm like, okay, I got this, you know, let's do this. You know, I was in a couple shows before that. I was fine, you know, it's like, let's do this, and then it's like he didn't know how to, you know, highlight people and things like that. I'm like, Oh crap, I've never done the behind the scene stuff. I was just there as his cohost, and it's like, Oh rap, and you can download this at zoomcom. Yes, you. If you want some more frustrations that you didn't know that, you had download zoomcom. It's a great thing, though. It's like, I I do prefer that over to stream yard, because stream hard you can only have a certain amount of people in and they don't like they can't even watch it, so you can't even hear them laughing or anything. I just I'm just, I'm just concerned for these comedians who are building their experience and Repertoire Online, because you get out in the fucking field and somebody eckles up and they're gonna piss their pants. Let Un zoom. Oh No, all the all the Hitlers got muted like fin know, this is a real world and that's one of the things. You know, I would love to start one where, you know, people can get heckled, because they've got to get used to it. HAH, like, you can't just go like a lot of these a lot of the comedians that have come out during this covid have only done online shows. Yeah, have never stepped on to a stage. Is a completely drunken two am wait for their slot because the fucking guy make you wait on them. He hates you now or I've gotten for I've forgotten. Forgotten about before, gotten about. It wasn't you know, one of my three minutes. Oh, fucking forgot. You are intentional. Yeah, I'm tight. I've been there, you know, one o'clock in the morning and only guy that you're talking to some drunkish passed out, the bartender possibly, and the guy who made you wait till want gonna fucking morning, and then he wants to give you advice. He's on your routine. It's like they'll fuck you on how the dull time is ass how the keeople listing. It's like that's what the sign of genus for. But I do, I do miss it a lot. I've been invited.

They've had, you know, quite a few around here, but they've all gotten shut down. Yeah, that turns out worker or somebody that was in their head covid so it got shut down and I'm like crap, you know, and I finally made real friends, like up in Philly and everything that. I've been invited to go there, but unfortunately they got shut down because of Covid it. That was outside. I was like, damn it. I was like, but hopefully after this, it's like then I can actually start going up there and it's great. Has Been Performed for clubs in Philly that didn't exist until ten o'clock and they and they cleared the second floor and put up some lights in a background and it's like now I got a comedy club, let's do this. Hell, yeah, we go to three am self drinks. Hell, yeah. And I was, you know, hustling on the street. Got To get ten to people and if you want to get your slot, got to bring five of your friends. Kind of Shit. And those places, there's lots. Ain't in hisstory. They don't exist except in my horrible memory. Just and then even the local scene, every club that we tried to start here and then lane county could. My friend Danny did a lot of stuff you did. Oh, and city music peer comedy shows. Now this place is the place we performed, exist anymore. Most of them were restaurants that stop serving a ten and then he convinced them to let him come in and put on a comedy show. That's how desperate we were to perform. Then Sandy came, which is what nine years ago now? HMM. Now nobody wanted to shit. After that we're like, fuck you, we're going to our asses off trying to build a scene. I know. Then the storm whited all of our Mojo out exactly. So it's like here we are as like I think virtual comedy is not going anywhere. We're here for, you know, probably the long haul. Now, even talking with Comedians, it's like, you know, it's like we're like we don't want the virtual stuff to end because we're meeting so many people and performing in so many different, you know places. I know it's weird just sitting at the computer. Yeah, but I mean it's been right. You'd be performing at the bank depositing checks. But you know, I never stand some of those shows till tickets and we get a little chunk of that and get a little chunk, get a little chunk, not like, like I said, it's like I want to start creating more comedy videos, you know, animation, little animations and things like that, and hopefully start the patreon up again. You know, who knows and who knows? But then I was like, you know what, comedians supporting other comedians. We're all poor, so fuck. Yeah, yeah, but I have an artist supporting other artists. Yes, it goes. It's kind of like, okay, I'll give you this if you give me that. You know, let's treat some space. Cross money, kick starter. Shit's getting me and every fucking time I s every fundraising, I'm like, listen, stop forming non profits. I know you add some trauma in your life. You want to deal with it, but the best way to do that it's not the cruse your own nonprofit, because there's a lot of successful non profits out there. And then now fighting with you for the same money and you ain't doing it right. You know, this is not this might be your your you know, this might be your little passionate project, but hey, give me a break. If you have a traumny life, seek out a nonprofit that lady exists, that maybe you yes, that you can. I port that you could support our maybe be a part of like, Hey, I got this idea. Yeah, no. I's like, yeah, I don't know. No, I said that's the hardest part and I'm like, but I know I'm really missing unity, theater, true right so much and I'm doing that on the New Jersey end and it is very heart it's hard to give people. But I believe with the whole you know, virtual platform and everything and hoping to...

...get that started back up in January and we're starting our own actual social network type of thing. It's going to be where you don't have to have facebook to join it, because I know a lot of people don't really have that or they're getting rid of it. It's too much drama craft. Like I wish I could, but that's how I find out, how I find all my comedy stuff, but for other people, I'm like, I think it will be really beneficial, you know, having our own platform where they can log in and they can see what's going on, like Oh hey, we're doing, you know, a twitch show. You know, it's like I'm doing Prov with us here. Here's the sign up thing, like and then everything's like posted right there, like they have to be logged in to see things. So that way it's nice and secure and, you know, it's like we keep the zoom link the same for, you know, every show that we people can jump on. That's, you know, one of the things that I definitely want to do and definitely, like you said last week when I was hosting in London, you know, it's like you should be hosting your own thing. It's like, well, that's definitely in the worst. That's another reason why I got the faster computer. So that way, when you told me SIS for, you said game and I said since there for but for work. Damn it. Now Mark First, like work, damn it. So this is what this big beautiful oh that's it. I started. I started my tick Tock Channel. Who and all I filmed so far? Well, my tick tocks. I've just made videos of me scratching my pets. They got the scratchy channel. He single video. Let's scratching video. Maybe I should jump on there for like comedy or something. I hear like some comedians are doing that. Yeah, it's another platform is in there. There's definitely some trends of visual styles that are emerging. There's definitely big share of chicks shaking it tits and you can't tell how old they are. That's so you don't want to be caught. That's the other thing that's bad about it is if you dwell on anything for too long, it's in your algorithm. So somehow I looked at a couple transgender chicks and now I get that non stuff. You're telling me all the reasons why they're better. Bam, like you can't get him breakers and they don't have a period. YEA, lucky bastards. I've been going on. It's let's see, I is a Lord. How was nine when I got mines. I'm like, well, this thing ever go away? Your Tick Tock accounts? No, nothing, takob thinks, trying to steer fucking substant I was like lucky bastards, but otherwise guys weet. You want to score with your girl, you just you suck it up, you go to that fucking drug store, you buy those tamp ons. For and some chocolate while you're at it. Your selfish you correct. Yes, chocolate, and then the girl at the register think healing me, because last would you could buy a Tampa. Mun't buy them for yourself, for you're not out of some guys get curious, son, it is one of the curious about some they smoke. I don't. They just put see where they can insert going to make a some tea you with this. I see what they can insert them. You can think of your mouth. You could probably insert wine. Uh Huh, your buttle, yeah, but your butt hole. I mean I would use Luve them. We will trying to do something off right and serious. Guys out there some advice that's gone south and now they're fucking freak sticking tampons up their asses. That's how quickly that that happen, folks. Yeah, and I was providing a public service announcement, because it's stuff out there. It's tough. Hey, guys don't want to go by Tampons. They really don't. They're embarrassed.

I don't know why. I'm like, this is cool. Can I buy a case of a while? I don't need an case's. Mr Smarty Pants, I you are you're fucking acting like you do, right, Princess Princess's look it. I said it's great. You know, it's like there's a world for everyone. I was thinking about the transgenders and stuff. There's only so many transgender comedians as well, like I met one when I was doing the the show to get into the Guinness World Records. She was awesome. She actually does it, suddenly stand up. It's every Wednesday night, I believe. It starts at Thirty PM Eastern. Dana Freedman, that's her name. She she's amazing. She was shoes, transgender since the S. it's like, Whoa Girls, Trendy folks? Yeah, way before it was trendy's like I I love that twitter accounts I got right. It's like I just love her comedy and I was like, oh my gosh, she does a show. I'm like this is awesome. On. So who's is actor? Elliott page? Right, who did Elliott page? USED TO ELLEN? I can't remember. I gonna out. Yeah, Alliot, and he's in this movie super with a guy who played dwight shrewd on the office and played a character named Libby and Gosh, let me turn me on, like fucking hell. And now I'm like, wait a minute, that's a guy now. So I get a deal with that, folks. I'M NOT gonna watch super anymore. You ever see that movie? Guy Just his his wife start his wife gets seduced by a drug dealer and he decides to become a superhero bike crime. He has no superpowerers other than anger and a wrench. That would probably be as salts people. That would be me. And Anyway, and this girl who finds out who he is becomes his his teenage sidekick. Oh it's Cheez. What's her name? Yeah, Elliott Peach, that's a yeah, Ellen Page, Ellen pays. A very later I was like, you know, yeah, you know, that's where it's from. It how I would have gotten a better that way. I'm like, I'm still like lost with movies and stars and WHO's coming out of the closet and he's getting it back in it. He's getting in anyone that used to have an Aldie, and who's getting an audie that used to have an any you know, it's how sure they're so young. She's drinking the blood and young girls in virgins and probably in it. Madam bathery, I mean, if she turns back time anymore, she's going to go back into the fetal position. She made a pack with Satan and had to sacrifice Sonny, vote who d done, even if she doesn't go to fucking say she did, for Sonny died in Ski. Yeah, and and all things, their daughter transgender. How do you like that, folks? See Ye all fucking time together. That is art, Art of comedy, folks. Yes, and you can catch him and one of the seasons of American her story, which I can't remember. Oh my gosh, I'm trying to think of the season right now. It was the one, it was the political one. It was it was just crazy, but I think he did an awesome job. I really wish you would come back and do some more. I haven't really seen him in too much to anything. I gave up on that show when lady God I was on. I know you love asylum. You just splush, slushy about that. You're on the SPLUSHWAGON. So you come up with new comedy?...

Are you feeling? And the Red fucking show, folks, now who shows on our own? On this show, we can get splushy all that we want, and to tell us not right so, yeah, it's like I was checking her out here, because I check her out because I'm attracted here, because she doesn't realize we have so many things in common. But the only reason I know we have things in commes because basically stopped her online because, hey, it's so fucking easy to do. Folks like fucking come on now, is it stocking when you're watching people's Youtube fucking videos they put up? I don't really think so. Okay, but on so many levels I relate to this girl and and she's never going to know that, even teaching and fucking Germantown Avenue and all this bullshit, just because we have so much common where we did in Philly. That you know actually, and this is my only shout out in terms of this, is how far my stocking goes. I was driving home from California a couple weeks ago and I whant to stop. When we drove through Ohio. I thought, wouldn't it be nice to have hot dogs with Jolie at Tony Pcos? There you go, that's the extent of my stock. I'll drive through your state you live in, and think about you. Hell Yeah, hell yeah, that's my kind of stalker. Yeah, I'll drive by, bye, bye, we're going on it. Stop. Yeah, well, I was trying to beat you know, the Governor says if you get in any state less than twenty four hours, you don't have to quarantine. Of course I got home and I was an in your state less twenty four hours and you still made me Quarantina. So you've ast you with her every stick. If you're everybody comes, because they all are covid states. Now, folks, I know it's like none that aren't. And and I know the rules here, because I'm even saying to my I'm saying, if you can, it comes to you at the Holliday. Well, you know. You know I've got the part of my well know you're one of the surrounding states. Is what those if you want to go to this like, fuck you, okay, I'm not coming. You're right. I try to explain all the ways and it's okay for us to get together and they tell me it ain't. Oh, how maybe it's just me then. I actually covid such a convenient excuse for fucking everything. Losing your mind. Just chalk it up to the pandemic. Baby losing my mind. That's what stand up comedies for yeah, right, it's like you can't call that therapy. You need therapy because you're in comedy. Yeah, you don't. A lot of their buses in comedy. He didn't. Because did you see? There's a dentist in the WHO's a wrestler now. Yeah, because actually happens. Yeah, why not? Why? Why that? We're all waiting for Godzilla to come on over now, you know, like in the year. You know where we got got celebrities kingcom straight, just dreaming. Why? Because there's no theaters. Oh right, that whole no theaters. We think fucking Hollywood is like cringing. Or what are they doing out there now? Everything they praying for earthquake so they can all get insurance money. I know everything goes on the streaming these days. There are the tilting his open here. I mean it's great because you go in and there's nobody. They're just like before covid but if the Ibad they've had a couple things there. It's like we've we've only seen one movie. It wasn't I mean it was it was. Yeah, two thousand and twenty nine. I can't. Well, everyone wonderful and answer to make we're going to reopen all the movie theaters? Yeah, okay, it's gonna cost a hundred dollars now to see a movie. I know because let's just a seat. Okay too, wondered dollar from Hoccorn. Right, we got some shit to make off...

...her folks. I know all the million dollar block busters. Yeah, the blockbusters. You busted them when they used to come out on Friday nights and hit a million by Saturday. Yeah, like gone. The next Marvel CGI FIASCO that you don't even fucking remember the next day. I really, I saw it. What did you see? What it's all the other ever moment you saw was your favorite scene. How do remember? I'M gonna go see it again, you are? Yeah, okay, well, tell me what you like about it next time I see the telly fucking forget about these movies. I'm kind of glad that they ended when they did in one of your eyes. I'm kind of glad that it ended way before all this time. Listen, WE wanna. We want to why? We don't have a lot of artistic marrit here, or really, everyone kind of knows how this whole fucking story is going to work out. Let's just add another hour to it. Oh yeah, I don't make up for it, and then we'll leave you one day more, like, Oh man, I come back. Is it another three hours? You haven't walk in these movies ever thinking for once anyone's in any fucking real peril. Or you know they're going to kill spider man in this movie. Why they do that? You kill his ass, and this move was the whole terms in though. Pussy glass man. Oh Gosh, all right then, no, pussy the last one. He was like, yes, the last what the Hell is that? Kids? It's like, what the hell happened to the lost? Like that, freaking at one, drop your face on I know right, he looked like the actor, but he was still the whole. Yes, yeah, now, fugs, if you're putting your face on other actors, try to get the same kind of fucking body type. I don't work well with the fucking guy watching. Don't wear that shit out. You know you want to go be in a movie company, in a fucking movie. Don't be in every other movie with your fucking face dropped on it. It's just not the same. No, not get any residuals. You're not getting a call from Hollywood. You look at this guy he's great. His face is on fucking Patrick Sways. You look at him dance, it's like, yes, does that guy weigh five hundred and fifty pounds? Yep, yeah, maybe, Shit happen? You look so spell it's well, there's like welcome to the year of covid right, yeah, this is all fool okay, I get kicked out one of my forms the other day. Oh No, one of my favorite ones, because some guy posted a picture of the Martians from Mars attacks, right, the Tim Burton movie with the Act Acts, and it was the strangest thing. It's just that morning I had dreamed that president elect Joe Biden was appointing a certain general acact to his Covid Task Force and General Act Act was going to soon approach the podium, and I got banned for writing that because of the highly charged political nature of that post. Wow, wow, I'm not which part was it. So so, you know, just saying the person's name is enough today to fucking Piss people off. And Yeah, yeah, I know you want to just stop conversation. You Go, Oh yeah, oh, yeah, chuck, yeah, that's like right, clutching their hearts. Everybody's like fuck, I only have something to say to you, Biden. Oh my God, he said the be were. I'm so upset. The other B word, biding fucking Biden. Everybody it's like, Oh my God, just anybody who has the audacy to speak in terms of, oh well, Democrats do this, or oh well, Republicans is like yeah, fucking every single one of them, douchebag, every fucking one. They're all lying. It is just lock step like Nazis. If you're Republican,...

...that means you believe us. You can't know nuance. There's no room left for nuance. And you know, it's just really another reason to cook and hate your neighbor. It is. It is start a website. Feel they hate some key, just all the old you know, Christians versus the rest of the world, blacks versus. Why? It's CETOGRAPH for the Republicans, the history of us finding ways to fucking hate each other exactly. It's like, over and over again. It's ever going to stop? Yeah, it's just going to get where. You or Yankees fans, Hey, those fuckers. We all yeah, all right, those guys, those they went super bowls. That's how much I care about it. I didn't even want sport they played, but I hate him anyway because I have the guy like someone has their fucking hound. I'm across the street just to not have to walk on the same size to that fucking New York Huh man. All right, another episode in the second why? Another episode in the camp? It's been an hour's bullshit. Shit, that's fucking hour in bizarro world. Being I don't feel like it was five minutes. Yeah, it's crazy. I think even fucking talk about I don't know. We don't have an episode title, except for like episode thirty, episode thirty, episode thirty. Yeah, he jokes about thirty thirty. Well, let's see, those was thirty about twelve years ago and nothing is really changed. Everybody's like it's all downhill from there. It's all downhill from there. I was like, what the fuck are you talking about? I feel like I just got started. Like no, this fuck, I'm going up. Screw you, I'm going not OK here at me, I think you probably well, yeah, the shit show of two thousand and twenty. Yes, yes, everything, but yeah, it's like I'm having like we've talked about, you know, rampantly died La. Please check them out. Yeah, so, www, dot rampantly la. Yes, they have tons of open mics on there and they have their own shows, but they also list other open Mikes, so it's great. You can find one pretty much any time of the day, Sunday through Saturday, like every there's always a mic running somewhere. It's amazing. And then also check me out this Saturday at the New York underground comedy festival. I'm at the thirty PM show, which is anything goes. This is my first comedy fest that I've been in and I'm really looking forward to that. Oh my God, I got said love and fucking thirty. I'm gonna need an HAPP before that one. I know, me too. ME CHECK OUT THAT RAMPANTLY NOT LA. Those blue mics are a hoods some special for Julie. I don't know it. That's gonna be something I'm gonna send here a nice tip or buy or something of her Amazon wish list or something. Or maybe I'll go beat somebody up for I don't give a fuck. We Wa need to take down somebody from last night's Mike. Let's just put it yeah, I'll put it somebody. Yeah, just for you, Joel, I like does watch this show. You'll get it. Yeah, yeah, check out. You know, rampant lie DOT LA. We've got some awesome stuff in the making for beauty and the beast, where we are actually going to go on camera and do some skits. I'm gonna wear a suit that day, in a tie, so that it'll all be downhill from there. You gotta Look Nice and Schnezzy for everyone. Yeah, sounds. Yes, covered a man, movies, covered the moves, the moods, like how you wearing banks, dude, it's a fucking podcay. Oh, you're high build warrior. All Right, shall we sign this off? Yeah, I got anything else to plug my butt? Maybe, and that pointy time to sign on of a bitch. Yeah, there we go. All right, I'm beauty.

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