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Beauty and the Beast
Beauty and the Beast

Episode 8 · 2 years ago

Episode 8 - The Internet

ABOUT THIS EPISODE

Episode 8 - The Internet


Welcome to the 8th(Infinity) episode of Beauty and the Beast where we talk about the internet!


We want to hear about your internet experiences. Drop us a line or some hate mail at beautyandthebeastshow69@gmail.com


Check us out on the web: https://beautyandthebeastshow.com/


Our new theme song courteous of The Paynkiller! Show him some love and check him out on Instagram: the_paynkiller

Coming to you almost live from lakeside. I'm beauty and I'm the beast, and welcome to episode number eight. Number Eight on its side is the infinity symbol. Right. Shows going to go on forever, folks, that big gold infinity loop. So what are we talking about today? We're talking about the Internet, the Internet, the Internet and social media and everything that everybody reads and is like, oh my gosh, here we go again. Hear me? Well, the Internet is such a wonderful source of information and disinformation and today it rules a lot of people's lives. I mean, I I constantly think that people are totally addicted to social media. Exactly. I'm like, I find myself checking it like eight million times a day and I'm like no, put that down, and the more and more I told myself to put that down, the more I pick it up. Yeah, I have a problem where I have to work on the Internet and so it's so easy to get distracted. It is. I'm like, I have like five million tabs open and I have no idea what's what the wheel is spen in for. There's music blaring out a some side. I don't even know if it's left right in between up down whatever. But yeah, exactly. It's like I find all my work on their like voiceovers and graphic design. I was like, without it I would be totally lost. I find it amazing how you can put just about any word into Google and fine, porn, porn. Funny Story actually about porn. It's not about the Internet, but I don't know if you remember this or not, but remember when they had the family channel and they called it the family channel? Well, they changed it to free form, with two F's free form. But I swear every time I'm watching that channel and they say you're watching free form, it sounds like free porn. And I was like, was that really a good you know, a good thing to go from the family channel to like Free Porn? Well, it was better than the changing it to the Manson family channel. Now that probably people would tune into. Even tune into that exactly kind of shows. You think they'd have killer shows. That's for sure killed her. I don't have my drummer here. I don't have any spaghetti with me today. This is like so weird. I'm stop dropping sound effects into the show. A little while back we stop dropping them into the show, but as my comedy got better. I picked up a drummer and his role and he actually goes by Eddie Spaghetti. And what is that? He Spaghetti's role. He's the drummer. So every time I do a joke, he does the so you're actually making enough money now to take a drummer out on tour? Yep, Nice, and he spaghetti. Love that, Dude. It's like I got an MBA right in drums. Oh, so is that? When do you start doing this? I don't recall seeing you with a drummer. I started doing this over it Katina's cosmos over in Galloway. They have an open mic there every Thursday, I believe. Sign ups are thirty and show starts at seven. It's run by Dr Chico. He's an amazing man. So it's like yeah, go there, hook it up, you'll see amazing. So far I'm like the only comedian there, but they have amazing musicians come there. Yeah, I saw that the they're all of the local Lope and mic seemed to be starting to gain a bit of an audience. Oh...

...yes, Oh yes, I really love the audience. Over it cosmos, Katinas or Katina's cosmos. I always get that wrong. I'm just going to call it cosmos and Galloway. They had like a ginormous crowd there last week, like I was getting Claustrophobic, that's how much of a crowd was there. Not only were they like three four deep to the bar, but in the room that we like, the section that we were in, it was like totally filled up in there. It was amazing. And what kind of reactions did you get? Oh my gosh, I had this one guy in the front. I don't know whether he was just having a good time or he was like totally embarrassed, but every time I said like the word Vagina, he would just start cracking up, getting like a little school boy. It was great, and of course I had to point that out too. We're out your vagina. Yeah, exactly. I'm not sure if he's ever seen one, so we just ran with it. Might be what it was. Well, if he's been on the Internet, he's probably seen one. I know right. Isn't that amazing? Like how far the Internet's come? Like we had to, what, watch the spice channel through the little squigglies, you know, or hope that something really good was coming on like HBO or Cinemax late at night that we stayed up and watched. Now I remember stealing a statue of playboys from my dad and basically burying him out in a Cornfield. Oh my God, why did you bury them? Yeah, no one else would find them. I would have been like, they're my treasures, now give them to me. And playboys to porn like what you know spaghetti is to a gourmet meal? It's just like, well, there are some tets, but that's about it. I never knew Spaghetti had toss me or that's MLS Spaghetti Eddie's sister. Now I get it. Do we know? It seems like the Internet was basically created for the porn industry. Let's face it, I know the Xerox Machine. One of the first thing ever zero boxed was a playboy centerfold. And it's crazy how nudity just drive so much technology. I know right. I mean it's like it's like you turn on the Internet's like Bam, it's there. It's like porn, porn everywhere. They have all sites, all types of Porn, you know, big porn, little porn, of wait, warm black porn, Yellow Porn, purple porn. I mean look legit like they had an animation porn and Tom Porn. They it's crazy. I mean we do a whole episode on Porn, which is probably in the future, which is episode might slowly be turning into. I'm like now I'm oxcited because I'm thinking about boobies. Have you ever wanted to make a porn? Yes, Aha, not, gonna lie. I wait, I'm not allied to tect her. Damn it, I did it again. What did you do? Lie Now I told the truth. Oh hell of that. That's another good thing about well, not a good thing about the Internet, but people can lie on there all the time and you wouldn't be able to tell because you're not facetoface with them. Yeah, but do when you tell the truth like you just did, then it's on the Internet forever, forever. I come on, it's not. It's not like my, you know, profile and fet life leaked, doubt or anything. Yeah, someday, wouldn't it be great if you're up there and actually, if there is a heaven and there is some God and he's like, well, before I let you in, we're going to look at your Google search history. Oh my God, have you not met me recently? Have you not heard my comm they do you think I'm actually going to heaven? Now, ties, that's beyond the point. But you know, it's like talking about boobies and Vaginas and everything under the Sun. It's like, yeah, that's only think. Everyone's going to heaven because if you make it through this life, I mean, come on, are you kidding me? I mean, unless you're some kind of mass murderer, really truly evil, what? What? Why can't they even go? That's true. It's like why, why do all the good ones go? I don't like the dad...

...ones go. Must be so good boring up in heaven. I know it's like a place where nothing ever happens. All these killers on earth and they take away great musicians and actors and friends and family that we love. It's like they just take them away out of our lives and they leave the killers and the rapists and you know all that other funds that killer rapists. Yeah, they killer rapist that too. Isn't that a band? Now? I don't think so. If we if it was that, they were probably playing that at the underground this past weekend. Whooo, I'll tell you we did. We did a little photo shoot where we had basically an evil bunny summit and I was amazed at how many people will just hand their kid over to a complete stranger. I know right. It's like here you go, yeah, here my baby, don't drop it, don't drop it, but feel fear free to stranglely or stab it anyway you want, but if you do, you'll be on ticktock. That's how the Internet works. How does the Internet work? It's like just there. It's like amazing. It's like black magic exactly, like everybody's connected all the time. Like I feel like there's be my lifetime or not, but I feel like it's just going to disappear one day and everybody's going to be completely lost. Well, everyone says like well, they can't turn the Internet off. I'm like, well, they can actually turn off all the electric and you can't turn your computer on. So what's the difference? That's very true. That is so true. It's like, yeah, I know you can't actually unplug it. You can, but it's that willpower to keep it unplugged and not plug it back in. I remember after Hurricane Sandy and everybody was scrambling around and I'm like, Oh, do you know? Do you need fresh water? No, no. I'm Oh, do you need something to eat? No, no. I'm like what do you need? Like, I need a place to plug my phone in. I need the Internet. Man, we're gonna be connected. I have an updated my status in an hour. I'm so cool. People thought I died. That's where, that's why I think we're trending towards where's going to be. Like a citizen, you haven't updated your status and twenty minutes are you still alive? Kind of like a Netflix type thing, like are you still watching? You know, yes, you still still there. You say, did you know? Let the world know that you're alive? You know, say something, tweet something, far do it. Tick Tock. You Know Tick Tock was a tick tock, tick tack, Tick, Talk Whatever. Well, Tick Tock is what like just the new vine, but the videos are longer. I know, right, like vine was like the best and then it's like, fop, we're going to take that off. Oh, wait, here comes stick tock. I like ye, because of the videos were so short. Yes, shortened to the point, just like this podcast should be shortened to the point. Yeah, I love these people. Capture themselves in these short videos in they're like walking back and forth, then doing the same motion over and over and it's like Geez, you kind of look like you're disabled. I know where they're like sipping like wine or beer or something like. It's so mechanical and it's like so weird. It's like a moving selfie. Or you know Instagram, which to me is like fifty percent my friend showing their cats and fifty percent who showing a different cat, their pussy, He Kiki Ki. Yeah, those instagram whos. They keep me going. I know, right. It's the shame with they did with Tumblr. They took all the porn off that, so they lost all their people. Well, there you go. Like, I'm surprised, you know, that anybody's on it. I mean I still am. It's like connected with my instagram, so it's like every time I posted instagram post up the Toumbler, you know. I'm like yeah, well, whatever, it's still there, so I guess I'm yet there's some people still on my space. I found my profile the other day. I still log in. I can. I don't know why I wanted to log in, but I did. So what's the worst thing you think ever happened to you as a...

...result of the Internet? Well, like I said, the Internet's a great way to find clients, especially when I'm doing web designer graphics design, but I've come quickly to learn, like, Yo, we need to have a contract or a good word that you will pay me for my work, the time that I put in, and not like screw me, like that's like the worst thing. I was like after a couple after a couple times that that's happened, like I've designed like this ultimate website or something, and then the like, oh well, we should change the colors or you know what, we're going to go different way. You know, it's like really like yeah, no, there's like a whole there's a whole website or group or something that's on there for people that are, you know, graphic designers, artist, whatever. It's like we get together and we will like put those people into a list so people know not who not to work with. I always thought that that's what you should you know, your landlord makes you fill out this credit APP and get your background check, and I think that that's what you should be able to do to your landlord. Right and right I mean it's like a you site. So you know about me, so how about I know about you? Yeah, let me just check you out here, just Google your name and, Oh my God, look at his Google search. That's right. The thing I like right now is that I've over the past couple years of being on Facebook, I've lost so much weight and I've changed my hair and Google does not recognize my pictures anymore. It used to automatically tag me and everything and used to find my face and other people's photos, and all of a sudden this like we don't know who this person is, and I find that I take that as a personal victory exactly. I'm like, Oh, thank God, the tagging has stopped. It's like, Oh my God, like half those photos, you know, it's like you see, like you see a nice Selfie of yourself, you look perfect, and a tag photo it look like a mushed up like Unicorn with a horn shoved up your ass, and that's like. The tag random objects in the photos and tell them facebook, yeah, that's me, very nice, and that's cell phone in the background there. That's me. It also helped being a cosplayer. If you cosplay something new every week, it really messes things up. Speaking of cosplaying and the Internet, you know, a lot of people, I find, have really up their game because of the information ain't been able to find on the Internet. Oh Yeah, you know, once upon a time you actually had to go to a library to learn things. What a strange concept. I know, it's like no, you know, yeah, yeah, I mean. Well, I've been sewing for like my whole life, like I've learned how to draft like costumes and pieces like clothing, out of like newspapers, because my dad growing up, he had like a ton of brothers and sisters and they couldn't afford to buy clothing, so they had to make theirs. So that's how I learned how to do think, but then when the Internet came up, it was like, Huh, like all these great sources and everything. I like you can you pretty much ask any cosplayer anything and they will tell you. They might even have a tutorial on how to make whatever you're looking for. Are they continue in the general direction, like okay, here you go, you know, here we got to handle that hot glue gun. Yeah, don't put it on your face. Yeah, and when your family was making their own clothing, did they make their own shoes? Not that I know of. Okay, yeah, maybe, I don't know. I'm line. I didn't get to the accessories part. And when they call you in the old sowand so, Hey, who you call an old Mr Yeah, right, that would be me. Yeah, that's a that's the big thing with this, this virus. Not that we like to be topical. We like our shows, you know, to be Evergreen and timeless. But you know, currently it's like people are like, oh well, that that virus sets only killing old people, lay't it? It's just the old people that are dieing in it's like,...

...yeah, one of those old people could be your grandma. I love it. So now not only does the new scare the shit out of people, but the Internet scares the shit out of people with, you know, the coronavirus going around, which has the exact same symptoms as regular allergies in the flu. So it's like how do you tell if you're dying? You gotta Swab your ass or something. Oh yeah, that's why all the toilet paper is conmissing. Yeah, like in a case of emergency. You know, I've been in the woods. You don't need toilet paper, folks. Nah, it's like he well, you know, as long as you wipe with something and then don't forget to wash her hand. Hang over to sink. Guys, when are you kidding me? You'RE gonna get killed forever roll of toilet paper. I know, it's like. Yeah, used to use a sears catalog, use newspaper, you know, whatever newspaper leaves grass, whatever, and a while. You know the wild thing. I think the Internet is got to the point where people have like poured so much of their personal information into it that I wouldn't doubt they'll be a day where you, you know, you and I are seeing two different news articles, even though we're on the very same site, because one of them is pushing your fear buttons and the other one is pushing mine. You just getting to the point now where it just seems like everybody's putting all their information out there and some day it's definitely going to come back to bite you, not necessarily when you're in heaven, maybe when you're on trial. It's like Ding, Ding Ding. I have to agree with you there, because even like as we're speaking now and doing a podcast and we talked about all these things, and then all of a sudden we'll start getting ads, like on our facebook and Instagram, for all these things. It's like, Whoa, Nellie whill, slow down there, what happened? Like, where you getting this information from? You know, it's like right now everybody's listening to us. It's crazy, you know, especially the Internet. I mean this is a the podcast, but you know, it's like just the way, even when we talk, even when we're outside, and then it's like boom, we look at our phone and it's like there's an ad. You know. I was like, Oh, I was just talking about this computer or this thing for an IPAD. It's like here we go, like what we found like nine ipads in your area for say it, like, Whoa, yeah, I don't need an IPAD. I don't need anything right now, anything with an eye in it. They say there's no I in team ice. Like well, you should get on the Iteam then you love it. Actually, there is an eye in team it's in the a hole. If you've ever seen that before. Yeah, that's what that's like, a graphic design dodge, I know, but it had to be said. It's like yeah, there is. It's in the apple, which is, you know, it's not a team, not. Yeah, but the ITEAM. They poke you in the I team, sponsored by Apple. Know what everything's I with them. Iphone, ipad, I this I that. I quit, not since breakfast. Actually, I do enjoy my ipad because I've just I just did some graphics and I did like a little animation. It's called deathmatch. It's nowhere to be seen right now. It's like I have a little snip like posted up on instagram and facebook. It's like my very first animation. I'm very proud of that. So I'm glad about that tool. And what's great is because I have Photoshop and Photoshop hasn't IPAD APP where. It's like pretty much the whole program and it's amazing, like I can literally work anywhere. I don't even need my computer. It's like a dam. I think I lost one client because they said they got photoshop on their phone and I'm like you go for it. I know it's like hey, if you can do better, go ahead. My thirty years of experience, professional training and hundreds of satisfied clients has nothing compared to your photoshop on your fucking telephone. Dude. I know, no, you can't do that on the phone. I agree with that, but like I said, it's like with the IPAD. I've got the eye pencil and everything and it's just so damned smooth. It's crazy. I...

...pencil. Oh my God, it's crazy. I mean I love doing stuff by hand, but like when you're working with animations like I mean I do like the old school, you know, where you get the camera out and start stop motion. There we get stop ush. My brains going in a million different directions. It's like my computer opened up eight million tabs on the Internet. That's exactly how my brain thinks. So you just made an animation that no one's really seen and you do a podcast and no one really here. So you are badness house. I am on fire. Yeah, I haven't even had caffeine today. I didn't have any caffeine today because I've been taking I've been taking fire CIDER and I don't know if anybody out there is into this or not, but good gut health is really important for fighting things like coronaviruses. So he basically we take a jar and fill it with apple CIDER and then we put like tumor Achan car a lick and honey and basically all the individual things people take to feel better. We put them all into one, let it fermant for a couple weeks and that's stuff will kick your ass in the morning. It's awesome. Some people hate it because you know, it's basically taking a hot pepper shot, but I swear by it. I'll tell you what that. And I've got this stuff called microtech spray that I use. Not that I'm endorsing it or getting any kind of sponsorship dollars as much as I'd like to, but it was a product developed by NASA so they could go into deep space and they could kill just about anything they found, virus, fungus, bacteria, and not only does it basically forms a protective shield around you for twenty four hours. So between the firesider and the microtact spray, I'M gonna die. I know it. Wow, wow, here I am just down in lace all. You know, you drinking L S aw. Yeah, I'm drinking the lace all these days, you know, because it kills the current of bleach. Ever told it that I was supposed to. Now I'm good on the inside. My asshole doesn't need to be bleached. That's on the outside. I'm just dead from drinking bleach. But his teeth. A's so beautiful. I know, look at that, look at how they sparkle in the coffin. It's a great pit. It's a great day. You know, let's take a Selfie with him. Let's it got our phone, take a Selfie and put that on the Internet. Speaking of selfies with dead people. Ah, people do that. Have you ever been on the dark web? No, should I? You know, I don't know if you should, because what the hell, there's enough crazy crap on the regular fucking web. I know it's like great, now we have a dark web to okay, this is getting to advance for me. People are like, Oh, yeah, you can use that dark web to buy drugs. I'm like, I can just go down on a fucking street and do that. I never that's why I do comedy. Hello, hello, yeah, hello, I haven't had to pay for Potton like over year. Yeah, it's like, yeah, yeah, and then there's this other guy and he's got other stuff and it's great. You know, it's like maybe a comedian, you're offered all these awesome things and you don't even need the Internet for that. It's not because your community, because you're a woman. It helps. Yeah, it helps most of those poor ass motherfuckers. They don't have us. I have any drugs aut them. They wish they did. They just want to get me out for their van. Yeah, I got pot in my van. Want to go? Oh Yeah, sure. Well, actually don't. I just have an axe to grind because I'm a comedian. Yeah, and let's there. It's like kittens and like kit cats or something like. I will not go out to a thing. Oh, I'm thinking me. I'm making a sign tomorrow. KITTENS and kick cats as like the perfect comment. Here in a trunk, Honnie, it's like coming get here. I got a kittens made out of kick cats. How's that, Oh baby, going? Yeah, it let's eat that. You know, melt in your mouth, not in your hands. That's EMINEM's, but who cares? What if it was just M's? Yeah, and...

...people not love them as much? Exactly, and I mean, whatever happened to that bond that got fired from the EMINEM factory because she threw out all the W's? Pump Oh man, oh Eddie Spaghetti, if you're out there, we need you. Teat your heart out, buddy. We will have one of those one day. When I noticed that club you go to. What is it called Cosmos? Yeah, Contrinos Cosmos, Katina's Cosmatina's cosmos, and when Christine is there it's Ka, Ka Kay night. Maybe that's what the big turnout is, the triple case. Yeah, I mean a lot of white people show up, but I mean, I guess it's just typical for the area. Maybe I don't know. Red Neck Review. Where is that place? It's in Galloway. In Galloway, that's a pretty big area. I know grow in it all. or it's in a place off the route. I'm very bad with directions. I get lost in my Wama asking give me directions. Lady, just tell me approximately where it doesn't have to drive around fucking Galloway all night. It's like maybe away from the Stockton campus. Okay, we're getting closer. It's like towards the part, like if you're going down almost to JD's pump. No, wait, that's not the right one. You See, I'm totally lost to this place. I just got down the parkway and get off like where you would get off to go to stockton, but then you make a right e go down and then it's on the left. They have it. Folks go like you're going to stocked and get off. Go down to the left, but it's on the right and no, make a right and that it's on the left. All right, I mean find finding the g spots easier. So if you want to find that, find me. I'm better at that. Well, actually, that's a myth. So you're never going to find that. I'm just worrying to find a sponsor and I was hoping maybe they'd get on board. Like we get eight fucking shows here, folks. I haven't gotten one fucking email. I know we haven't even gotten any heat mail, nothing like. We need to up that game. I mean, are we too pure? Are we too nice, like God, like email? Something fucked up in the past eight weeks. I know we just said K AK. It's like come on, man, come on, month and something Sen two months of bullshit and no bullshit, the show for it, no pictures of it, it's nothing, nothing. Come on, get on the Internet, come on, get on there. We know you're on me. It's like send us some crappy mouse something that I'm not asking you for your money or Patreon or whatever the heck. That is just I just need a sponsor. Yeah, we can find sponsors on the Internet. So, if you're listening, you can trade US marijuana. You know, that's a start. Exactly. will do something for that. Come on, come on, we can do a little trade here, any of the stuff we'd normally spend our money on. Anyway, we're up for it. Yeah, exactly, cat food, you know, oil for our car. Just give it to us. I need some new tires of anyway. There's this. If you send this product, we will review it on our podcast. You go send us some products and we will put that on our blog. We will start the blog up purposely for doing reviews. Yeah, and don't, don't send see you dark web shit. We don't want any of that Shit. Yeah, no, send us like actual physical stuff. Yeah, ever seen some of these dark web, I'm boxing videos that are so popular? Oh yeah, like this one kid that does like toys or whatever, like he's making millions a year and everybody's like, my thumbs up, my ass. How the hell do I do that? You know? So, yeah, first, get a kid. Okay, I mean dark web stuff. Oh No, not the dark, wet night crazy shit. Gotta buy better research that. Yeah, some of...

...them are pretty scary. And then it's like wait, this stuff. This is totally fucking fake. Is that where they like shove like unicorn horns up their asses or something? No, it's like they'll send you, you'll go on and the guy I'll, you know, buy a bitcoin. He'll do an exchange. You don't get a dark web box, and dark web boxes are generally filled with drugs, stolen objects and often, it seems like the evidence of a murder scene. Oh Wow, yeah, I don't know if I just want to try one of those four shits and giggles. You know, it's like maybe once we get a couple people send US regular stuff, we're going to be like, okay, we're going to do this once a year, we're going to get a box from the dark web and, yeah, we're going to unleash this shit and just do it. Yeah, I think. I think a lot of people have actually had to turn their contents of their dark web boxes over to the police. I know it's like for that pretension. Yeah, I think I read about this like in the news or something. I'm pretty sure it like killed some people. So here you go. Yeah, yeah, you get a lot of blood soaked stuff and you actually paid for it exactly, instead of snuff films. It's snuff Internet. HMM, we've moved on, we've we've moved on. It's like here you go, it's like d snuff coming at you. It's seems like they were once one time that was fake and then, you know, a couple guys screwed that up and actually publish some real snuff films. One that was actually high profile murder case. He really enjoyed sending those videos in. And that's what's so wonderful about the Internet. No matter what level of user you are, there's some niche, there's some group of people who are just like you. You know, there's the time, I guess maybe you were into fucking chickens and you were the only guy and then you go on the Internet and find out that as always a poor group for it. What do you do? How to get the feathers out of your mouth fast? And you know they're just just somebody out there is into what you're into. Believe me, that sounds like a horrible movie. You know cold case files, you know the chicken fucker. Yeah, allows you chicken Fucker, chicken Fucker, you know it's coming around here. fucking started as a chicken plucker yet started as that chicken plucker and I've gone to that like a gateway drug for chicken fuckers exactly. It's like Whoa, as long as they'll start breeding and we have like half chicken, half human coming out. What's that? How wonderful the the Inter webs is. You know, beauties really into these renaissance fairs, which I always thought was just total bust, you know, just a Geek love fest. And then she's telling me, no, there's a dark side, there's a lot of sacks and drugs and alcohol, and I'm like no way, and I just do quick Google search and no shit, there is that. Huh. Did I lie? Now? She didn't lie. I have that problem, man. I can't tell why. It's much twice today, I know it's so awkward. It's a third time you get a halo. I know, right, what the hell? So maybe I am going to heaven. Here we go, we're looping back, we're looping. Well, I like when they see like when out when a rock star dies, and then they say he's playing with the band tonight in rock and Roll Heaven, and you're like, are you kidding me? That guy went to hell. It's like what the Hell Are you? Look as an awesome band down below, I'm sure. Hell. Yeah, rocking it out. Don't have an open bar. No Open Bar, no open bar. And how folks, but there's a great lineup. What kind of Hell is that? That's why it's called Hell. If Hell can't be hell, what kind of Hell is like? All the sex you want, but you can never have a now exactly, it's like, oh, the big O's not even down, down, down that we booze. No Os. Wow, but they got Jimmy Hendrickson Lea Guitar. It's like rock and roll, yes, rock...

...and roll forever, except now you're dead and now you can't get any drinks and you can't heaven. Oh and that's another thing about the wonderful Internet. You know, you can clean up your past if you can get it off the Internet, but sometimes once it's on there, it's on there forever. This is awesome thing called the Internet way back machine, which is an archive of basically every site that's ever been created. Oh Yeah, one time I sold this program off the Internet. Well, what happened was I had a memory card full of things and I need something off of there, and it actually had gotten a race. But there is a program that if you actually got it and you stuck your card whatever intire device. I'm sure I didn't have a laptop with the card reader then, but I had a regular card reader that went into the USB PORP and you plugged it in. He hit this program and every single photo that you had ever taken or anything that you had put on that I was probably doing photography back then, so any photo that was ever on that card all came back up. And we're talking about years, maybe even a decade or two. It's like wow. So even though you think something is a race, it is not. Yeah, until you s bloody smash it and put it in a landfill, basically, but that's just your computer or your whatever hard drive thing, whatever you're doing. If it was once on the Internet, it's on there forever. Yeah, fortunately, I had a client who needed me to help him with his, basically is online reputation because, despite the fact that you know, he was an upstanding businessperson who did a lot of work in the community and donated a lot of money, he had a really bad DU way like ten years prior and that's all that they wrote about the guy because he was a high profile coach at the time and you know, the Internet can be a bastard. He can be. I mean it's like all the other things out there, and that's what they have to get the guy for is a DUI remember before they started cracking down on wikipedia and you could write basically any fucking thing you wanted. Oh God, the good old days. Now you have to go through some kind of security. You have to have like a Wiki like per person that does that professionally check sources. Now exactly, it's like wow, they like citation and this information is not verified, but fuck it, we're going to keep it up there anyway until it is. I know right. It's crazy. It's like Oh, wicki yeah, that's great. People changing information all the time. They're like, wait a minute, I just thought that that said Blah Blah Blah, and that was his blah blah blah, and now I feel like an ass and it's like well, if you didn't have friends that would change it every five minutes. Yeah, yeah, Hey, you go in there and you find out some of your life stories completely skewed. I know it's like, oh my gosh, I googled myself the other day. Is that what you calling it? Yeah, we'll go with that. I do that once in a blue moon just to see if any, you know, any articles come up about me or people post on the web and you know, it's like I found this one spot like get posts like, I guess your net worth or something. Yeah, for actors. I'm not. I can't say what mine is, but you can definitely find it and it had like all my information and stuff. So now I'm like trying to get in touch with the guy that does it and you know, it's like, okay, it's like we need to change a couple things, because it's like I am engaged now and it's like they need to bring, you know, my calm board here with a few things. Luck with that exactly. I'm like, oh my gosh. I'm like, okay, this dude news more about me than I do. Problem is a lot of people have my name, including like a race car drive I've ever, a country western singer and an a popular DJ. So I really can't compete with them when it comes to Google results. But I'll tell you what I did own...

...my name once. You KNOWCOM and through us, you know, some kind of clerical error. I lost it. Didn't renew in time and some you know one of those squatters, bought it and proceeded to ask me if I wanted it back, and I will like well, certainly, I'll pay you the three thousand nine hundred and ninety five renewal fee goes. No, that's thirteenzero dollars right now, and it's cool because if you check it, it's probably right now still around two thousand bucks. But they'll let me have a payment plan. Oh Wow, yeah, I've known people at do that. It's like, are you kidding me, like really, like, I mean it's like the most competition I have. I believe there's a lawyer that has the exact same spelling of my name, so it's like I'm in the clear out of it's like actor or lawyer. Okay, this could work, this could yeah, we're still waiting for beauty and the beast to get shut down because the copyright infringement another sign that nobody ever he's there listening. Come on, Oh, come on, come on. We have some subscribers. We've had some listens. We've had like over a hundred listens. I can't put those people down that. I love them all. Ten I'm exactly. It's like, thank you for listening to this comedic diarrhea. Yeah, or whatever the hell diarrhea we have now. We have the coronavirus diarrhea. That's why all the toilet papers missing. I did see a video today. People flock into the store crazy. They gotta have to live there. Like starting to limit the amount of toilet paper, hand scianitizer and other essential items that you need. I know, it's like the bleach everything. It's like wow, it's like it's like it even worse than when it snows here and everybody goes out and bright buys all the bread in the milk and stuff like that. I'm like, dude, it's like we barely get like an inch here. So, yeah, you haven't that any snow this year, but of course the blizzard of Easter is still around the corner. I know right. It's like everything will be white. Well, we're having a white Easter this year, so be prepared for that. So, if you haven't talked up on toilet paper, you are shit Outah, yeah, we're literally shit out lock or your shit is out of luck. I don't something like that. I don't know. Your ass will pay for it. I don't. I think I'm on crack. So we're talking about asses and crack. Now get back to the Internet, woman. Okay, there's a lot of cracks on the Internet. There are, and there are a lot of crack pots. The other day I saw a guy selling a cure for the coronaviruler virus. was like silver iodine mixed with alkaline water and the only one in a hundred and twenty five dollars for eight ounces. Like really, will you take a check? Never read? It's like what? Like this all plug you up, you know. It's like all these scammers out there. It's like, you know, I'm I'm going through some time now. I got to find a new place to live because of certain circumstances, none of which were my fault, but it's my fault. I don't have enough money to move, so I put my Cadillac up on craigslist. Oh my God, the floodgates of weirdness just opened in that as soon as I push that button submit, I knew I had made a mistake. I felt it in my gut. Wow, you see, craigslist still exists. craigslist is totally for scammers. It's like all it is the one most one of the things. You look up for an apartment and you find a mansion for like eight hundred dollars a month, all utilities included and free use of the Rolls Royce. You know, Oh yeah, this is real. I know it's like craigsst I thought they like stopped that because, like people were getting murdered off of it or something. That's what I'm worried about. You know, I'm going to get murdered. Somebody's going to be driving my cadillac with me in the trunk of it.

Well, at least it's Ruby back there. It sure is. You can't beat that. All this one guy was busting my balls and he's like, I need you to tell me everything that's wrong with that car. So you know, because if you misrepresented, I'm gonna sue you, and I'm like really, you're breaking up, but the sorry click, like this is what I need in my life now. People calling to threaten me. I know it's like a lawsuit. Are Because I'm trying to sell a car that they haven't even looked at yet. I know it's like you're selling it for a great price and plus you need a place to live. So it's not like you're going out to the junkyard. It's like, Oh, here you go. It's like I need like five thou for this thing. You know, Guy Calls me again, I'm going to give him that. I'm going to be all, going to go all ghostbusters on I'm like, well, it needs new spring shocks, radiator tires. Left blinker doesn't work. What else? We lost the steering wheel somewhere. You like twenty fucking minutes solid of everything wrong with the car exactly. We used to have a steering wheel, but we lost that somewhere. Yeah, scrape that damn bumper sticker off. It's got one tire. It says free of the Tibets and I don't even know what a Tibet is. It's just tericle. Yeah, you definitely need to do that and you need to have somebody records you. If you two calls back and you do that, everything about it now is that it doesn't need to to be inspected. So you can put that death's head sticker right there where that fucking inspection sticker used to go, because I used to dread that. Oh my God, anybody out there driving older model car every went through inspection in New Jersey, he gives you a migrain. I know it's like, please let this bitch pass, please past it ass, but I mean now they like check for like what, one thing or something. Well, now new cars they just live. Yeah, they stick you on the computer and they they sleep. My car, I can remember once they were getting emissions testing and the acceptable range for the emissions was, the guy said, between two hundred and three hundred and my car passed. Didn't pass because my emissions was more like between three thousand and four thousand. Like yeah, that's a little difference. Just the we've bit, just just the wee bit there. But yeah, it's like and so fuck that. CRAIGSLIST, though, my yeah, that that's horrible. Yeah, I mean there's got to be better places online. I believe if you get to like press of Atlantic City, like they have their own thing and you don't have to pay for it on there. Well, it's a crazy preponderance of shit for sale on facebook. Now, that's for sure. Their market places. Yeah, it's like I don't even know how if some of those are legit or not. You know, it's like I've asked couple people, you know, questions they've never got back to me with an answer. At least said that it was sold or something. Yeah, I'm like, yeah, I kind of don't trust that one either. And I'm not really looking for ending Bob, just looking for hot chicks and when I see their profile like that might be of interest to me. Are you for sale? Come over and buy your limited in Schlock for fucking fifteen bucks. No problem. Well, you shall like her flock, I shall ack that Schlock all day. I just wanted to use the word she lack, and there we go there. What the fuck is I have no idea. Shaka boomshlas. When you said this, yeah, and I got started, I was like, Oh, she'll actually, I've got through the show. You said if I said Chatchkey, Hey, I want to touch your Chat Chi's, she had no reply. Beauty was speechless. Ding, Ding, Ding, Ding, Ding, Ding, ding, winter, winter tears. Always the first time for every fucking thing, apparently, right he she just came up blank. I did. But with that being said, it's like, I think we're just about a lot...

...of time. So I'm beauty, I'm the beast, EWW BE SHOWCOM.

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