Sounder SIGN UP FOR FREE
Beauty and the Beast
Beauty and the Beast

Episode 6 · 2 years ago

Episode 6 - Pets

ABOUT THIS EPISODE

Episode 6 - Pets


Welcome to the 6th episode of Beauty and the Beast where we talk about Pets!


We want to hear about your Pets. Drop us a line or some hate mail at beautyandthebeastshow69@gmail.com


Check us out on the web: https://beautyandthebeastshow.com/


Our new theme song courteous of The Paynkiller! Show him some love and check him out on Instagram: the_paynkiller

Coming to you almost live from lake side. I'm eating, I'm the beast, and today we are talking about pets. That's right. Episode Number Six, if you're counting, is about pets. Only six hundred and sixty two go. All right, we are on track with something now. That's right. So stick around and if you make it to six hundred sixty six to episode, you win a prize. Yes, I yeah, that would be perfect. You're going to win a pet that you don't want, but we're going to give it to you anyway. We just love pets. We Love Them, we love how they come into our life and take over, make us spend money on him and make us love them and then they go a all too soon. I'm not really, I'm my last cat that I had was almost nineteen years old. I think that's a pretty long time. Yeah, but it's still not here. I know he's not here, but we have two little ones. That'll be three soon. What about these people that clone their old cat like it's going to be the same damn cat? Come on, I think you'd have better luck to hear it to a pet semmetery. That's right, the pet cemetery. It's I take it it's free. It's better. Something comes back from to life and it's evil, exactly like. I mean, who wouldn't? One chat was able to start with hello, exactly like nine lives. Mother comes back evil. Or let's get this established here. It's right, cassiliny'll eat your eyeballs out in your sleep. Why not? They steal your breath, liking cat's eye. That's right, let's get that myth. Keep that one. goingly a breath. They come right up on your chest. Actually, the most times they smell you're broth to like get the hell out of here, I ain't stealing that. You can keep that. It's like, Oh hell no, you put on some chafts. It not happening now. I had a friend over once and he was snoring like anything. This guy was snoring so loud his mouth was wide open and I'll never forget the cat standing on his chest looking down in his mouth trying to figure out what in the hell is going on in there and what was making that noise. I mean my cats get scared of like any noise self like Mike snores or something. They run, they fall off. It's like amazing, it's like wow, well, I've had my share of pets, that's for sure. Some of them have come into my life, you know, on the street. I remember having a cat. We went to the movies, we came out, there's a cat asleep on the hold of our car and a woman and was in the window saying that ain't my cat, that ain't my cat. We're like, okay, thanks for leaving. As your cat exactly. It's like it's your cat and out's on your hood. It's here. So what was that like? What was the strangest, most exotic pet you think you ever had? I haven't had any of those. I mean maybe a hamster. Well, you like hands. I've had hamsters before, I know growing up I got three for my cousins and Connecticut. We named them Lenny, squiggy and Laverne. They used to be in one cage, but then Leverne went like all ape shit on the guy,...

...so we kind of had this get them all separate cages so she wouldn't eat them like accountable. Wow. So there you go. Female hamsters like to eat their male counterparts like cannibals, and isn't that really the way of the world? Exactly, it's like, oh my gosh, like these cute little fury animals and then they're just, you know, eating each other. They're ferocious. It's like, Oh my God, the other day somebody said they'd love to having a possum as as a pet and I was like, I'd love to give you one. I know right, like here you go, here's that there, don't you know? Like yeah, because I remember one came in our kitchen at three am, came to the pet door and yeah, it was this and at me. I was beating that thing with a boom. It did not care. No, it's like, Oh hell, no, you are not trying to use and broom on me, because I will not work. I think. Four thousand ticks a day, like we're in the hell. Are these four thousand away from there? They're sure's hell. Ain't my home. Oh my God, no, you will get a raccoon or something. I don't know. I don't know from a thousand ticks, let alone four thousand thousand ticks. Exactly this, four thousand picks on me, we are in trouble. That's a lot of tickpick. No, no, I'm pretty sure, like people album farms have possoms as pets. You know, I guess that you shouldn't kill them because they do kill the ticks and other things that we don't want. So you know, yes, if you're on a farm, having a possum is fine as a pet, but having one lost in the city, having one in the city, I don't think so. And all these pets are the same until they give you one good bite on your face. Then you just don't love them as much as you did, even that little kitten. Once he puts up his cost across your nose just the right way and you just not in the mood for it. Suddenly that little kitten's not as cute as it was. I don't think. Well, okay, yeah, that's happened to me, my cat, lucky. He's a polydactyl. He's got the little thumbs, they call them mittens. Well, he's like got this big boy paw and he will get on me in the middle of the night and if I don't pay him, he will wind his arm up and he will smack me in the hey. And this is why we love our pets. But he's like so cute though, like I said, he's not even three years old yet, so it's still in that cute kitten face and we have pet. said, other other countries eat, I know, like like the cat. Yeah, we're here's a joke, but over some places it's a delicacy. HMM, exactly. I know of a Chinese restaurant that was closed down, not once, not twice, but three times for having cat and their freezer. Oh, that was just their pet that scratched them in the night and you wouldn't pat them. Then they were dinner. Oh Man, that was for certain guests that came in late on Sunday morning. Yeah, I was. I was a real bitch too, because this lady that I used to work with June, she's passed away by now, but she heard of the place closing down because of the cats and everything, so she stayed away from Chinese food for the longest time, and so one day she ordered it and she goes to take a break and I'm sitting there like an ass and I just go she's like, I'm gonna kill you, and as goes, he ho he ha put. That's another I kind of ask. I guess. Yeah, I mean donkeys made good for good pets. Yeah, doc, he's yeah, they're loyal. I think donkeys are cute. They'll kick in the head if you get out of line. But isn't it like that for all animals? They'll just kick it and they will at certain times in the night when you're fast asleep. You never know what's going to snuggle up next to your head, depending on what you own. Now, I owned a pirate once. I had to give it up because when my kids were born and went...

...ape shit, it would not be quiet. It was biting everybody. It actually three of my cats had little trianglishaped notches in their ears and you know, we had to find it at home because it just wasn't getting along with the family. It's really one of the few pets I ever gave up, but it's not like I just said, here you go and set him free. I actually found him a home. And this is a problem we have. I actually have two cats now, Mr Peel and a little cat named Mac. One was found in a dumpster and the other was actually was ejected from their home, thrown into the hallway for whoever wanted it. So somehow I ended up with both of them. Now they're just love each other so much they're inseparable. Now am I going to get rid of them? I got to get rid of them in a pair. Oh, I just love cats, I just I love animals. I wish there were enough people in the world to adopt all of them and, you know, give them loving homes. I mean it's like we adopted to the sweetest little kitties ever, and all they do, like the P of course we spoil them, like downstairs we have bean bag chairs that were meant to be gaming chairs, but the cats took them over, so they're like cat beds now. So they they have their own bean bag chairs and they have like tons of toys to play with. But, like I said, if anybody you know could just have a pet and love them that much that they love you back, I mean the world would be awesome. Hey, well, we see that. Pets, I love you unconditionally, but they also have their limits, I think, especially dogs. Can only treat a dog badly so many times before it's like fuck you, I know, and then you become dog food and the cats are fuck you from the first start, you know. Oh yeah, it's no big deal. Oh yeah, cats are like that, but that's just how they are. I mean animals have animal instincts. It's going to happen. Yeah, well, animal instincts. Is a good reason, I guess, why people should love their pets a little more, but maybe a little less than their family. I don't know. Yeah, I know we kind of treat ours it. We call them the fur babies. The fur babies is, yeah, we have it. Well, we don't have any kids, so I have, you know, the fur babies, and we treat them like there are a little babies. But you know, it's like we also take care of them, like every year they go to the vent and they get their shots and, you know, anything healthwise. It's like we get taken care of right away so they live. Now I used to sell, like this person was selling vitamins and there were state of the ARD vitamins where it was blended specifically to your own body's needs, and people be like, what are you kidding me? I can go down to the local drug store and get them for a fraction of the price. I don't want them. And then they'd say, well, you know, we also make them for pets. And then really pets. Give me two models. I know. Well, the way anything to keep our critters, you know, alive, and jumping may mean. Yeah, yeah, like I said, I wish you know, everybody could have, you know, a pet or something, or that they just took care of them like really well and they'll take care of you. I figure. Well, you know, they salts these people now that spoil their dogs to the extent, I'm like, pushing them around and baby carriages. That's a little too far. You know. That love saying those people and say, let me see the little nipper and then you see it's a dog and I oh, I guess it looks like the Dad. I know they get pampered a little bit too much because I remember there was this guy that used to walk around here and he would have his dog and stuff, but he would be carrying his dog and I've seen that dog walk before, but most of the time it's like the owner just like literally carry them like up and down and everything. I'm like,...

...that's a little bit too Bam for there. The dogs got legs. It's you know, it's a reasonable degree outside. It's not hot where it's going to melt the paws off the dog. You know, like I take it a great deal when it comes to that kind of thing. Like if I had a dog, yes, I would, you know, watch out, like what the temperature was outside, whether it was hot cold, you know, just really take care of them. Why? Because I love them, but I don't want to see them hurt. And these people like there's this all this whole generation of people now that refuse to feed their dog what other generations have been raising their dogs on for years because it's just not natural or it's just not good enough. And you know, God love you if that's what you want to do with your money. I understand completely. But you can also give them stuff like rub meat and beef and chicken and stuff that's really, really good for him. But you don't want to go to that. The trouble of doing that, you know. So you gotta put that some of these other brands. And and you know, I have known, I have known dogs and cats that have lived a long, long time with store bought Kibbl you know, from the dollar store, because they mostly live on love. Of that is true. I mean I've hearn even asked the vet uncertain things, like our last cat, buffy, who had gotten constipated, like if there was any, you know, better cat food, like the wet cat food, obviously was better for his digestive system, but I asked if there was any particular brand or you know, it's like she'd be going to pet smart and get like the expensive stuff or whatever, and she honestly said it's whatever you choose, like there is no better options, right. So it's like yeah, so it's like just, you know, feed your pets, feed your freedom, or we don't just be I mean that's crazy. Like I was talking the other day and I would say, you know, remember growing up. You know, we had all of my friends that would come over and eat, like we all eat the same things, you know. It's like we all eat, you know, hamburgers, hot dogs, you know, chicken ribs, pork chops, like things like that, and we all eat, you know, potatoes and beans and all this other kind of stuff. Then we always, like I said, we always ate the same stuff. Not One of us were, you know, gluten like. We never had any allergies like with gluten or anything like that. And I'm like, where the heck did this come from? Like I'm glad that I didn't grow up, you know, having some kind of allergies. I know gluten isn't something that you can control, but like where did that come from? I like the people who ask for is just gluten free and they don't have any problems and it's just like a a buzz word for them and you're like well, you know know, and they're like, oh well, I'll have it anyway. So it's like why did you even ask? Exactly, I'm like wow, I really like that's the same thing. You know what what dog and cat food? You know, it's like just get or whatever animal that you have. It's like just feed them, you know. I mean if they have an allergy, it's going to come back. You're going to take them to the vet and it's going to prove that they have an allergy. But don't treat your cat or dog like it has an allergy that hasn't been diagnosed. And usually their allergies, or if their first, falling out all over the place. Anyway. Yeah, exactly. They're like, legit, allergy isn't my friend, I remember my friend, we we lived in Annapolis and we crabs a lot and we were waiting for the big crab fest. What was going to be all you can eat crabs, and that was the day we discovered he out a crab allergy because all the crabs we ate all all summer leading up to that point. So that was a legit allergy to because we were rushing into the hospital. That's the one thing I don't like about having a pet is if that PAT is in distress,...

...you know that vet can pet. He can just play you like a heart baby, and it's always well, we could put him down you. Now. I understand, though, that the suicide rate among vets is very high, because everyone blames the vet for everything that's wrong with the pet and for having to put the pet down. Wow, whether it because they can't afford the the can't afford the medical procedure. So they say, well, you're forcing me to do that, and the vets are like, well, no, that's not the case. And you know, it is pretty heartbreaking when you're there having to euthanize your pet. I've had to do it too many times. But yet I'm a sucker. I still got pets. What the Hell's wrong with me? Exactly? I mean we did? We put our pets to sleep, like when there are no other options, like, yes, a lot of like surgeries. They cost a lot. I mean, we're in America, so we have to pay for everything, you know, out the ass, pretty much, even when it comes. You know, taking care of ourselves, let alone our pets. You know it's like it's insane. It could be thousands of dollars and you know you just can't do that, but you also don't want them pain anymore, so you go put them to sleep. I had this cat I loved. Their name was kit KA. And had her in college and we moved to this third floor apartment and within a day she chase pigeons off the side of the building and landed three stories down in alley and she broke her leg and shattered it and I took her to the vet and he's like, well, we're going to do something a little radical. We're gonna we're going to wire all the bones to a pin and that pins going to protrude from her hip and she'll have full mobility and she'll fully regain her leg. And didn't wait. Take her home. She got her pin caught under a chair and broke her like worse that that time. So take them back to the vet and the first time I was like, doc, aren't you going to just put a splint on it? What are you gonna do? So the second time the leg's broken, they put a splint on it. I guess what, it turned out fine, doc, you son of a bit. It's like you killing. Is You killing? Well, like we love our animals. We have, I think, and I we love our animals so much over here that I personally think that the next big religion would be anything that combines sort of Christian morals with pets, that you can bring your pets to worship, because they actually have a higher level of empathy than humans and if we just took their lead, the world would be a better place. Amen. True. That, true. Yeah, we have all kinds of pet hymnals that you know, you can't hear, but the dog can. It's like five over, pat by, I can see you right now, you know, being like a pet Jesus or something. Yeah, but Jesus, that Jeez, that doesn't sound right. That Jesus. He lorded Taber. Yes, but, like I said, it's like I love having animals. We adopted our two kit and a few years ago, their brother and sister. When the Tuxedo, her name is Miss Archer. It's actually Miss Mallory Archer from the show archer. And then our polydaxyl, who is lucky, who was named after luck he ates, who is also part of Archer. So we had we have a theme going and actually our past two cats that we had there were buffy and spike. So if you're actually ever in the area, our Wifi is actually named the hell mouth after the television show and everything. So it's like, yeah, we have like a theme going. My theme is no theme nights. I have a little Chiuahua now, little black and white dog, and I had to have her when I saw her advertised for adoption, and that because she'd been abused, like who could abuse at Chihuahua? But...

...really got strange because the dog I had before that was an American rat terrier named rocket. He was also a little black and white dog, and as soon as I saw the poster for him to be adopted, I had to have him and I didn't understand what was going on. And so one day I was running around in circles with Fergie and I was running in the closet close the door and she'd bark and all of a sudden I was eight years old and I had my dog, which was a little black and white dog named liquorice, and liquorice would run around the house and chase me around. Well, liquorice died in a house fire and I never thought about out it much. But now my little black and white dogs, I've been replacing liquoriceholders time and when you realize that this is, you know, happening to your like fuck me, and but it's a good thing though. I mean it's nice to have that like Oh, okay, maybe you know my dog is reborn in this dog. Yeah, it's like thinking, yes, exactly, exactly. So breathe it. For that one point I had the rat terror and it ch wow at the same time. So there you go. How is it bored in both of the dogs? I don't know, it just is. It just is. I mean we look at our kids and we see our past two cats, and both of them, you know, although we with these two, they're actually like toddlers. Like I said, they're going through their terrible too's right now and I was like, what's next to the disastrous threes? Well, when lucky was younger, he still does these cute things. Well, my kid bought humburger king for breakfast and we had, I love, the round potato, the Tater tots or whatever, the round Hash browns that they have and like he gets up on the table and I look at him. I was like look, he may help you with something, and he sticks his head right into the box and pulls out one and I swear he was like no, thank you, I can help myself and he puts it on the Napkin and precedes the eating. I was like this is like, this is crazy. I was like, but it's so cute. The same time, I was like and he like left less of a mess than Mike did. So I was like, well, there we go. You know, that's cat. Is Aunt Harriet, that cat, and I just came out of a tators hot with you exactly. And then one time, after doing comedy late night, I came home. There's some leftover Chinese food, not cat, and I was sitting there eating it and I had a couple pieces of chicken left on the plate and lucky comes over and he grabs a big piece of it and I didn't think he would like it because it was bourbon flavored chicken. And Yeah, I you know, I got it from them and I pulled it apart and then the next thing you know is he finishes this big piece of Bourbon chicken comes over to my glass where I had sweet tea in it, sticks his head in and drink sweet tea and I'm like, I didn't know you were that sophisticated. Lucky Bourbon chicken and sweet tea. Well, so fisticated when they actually pouring the tea for themselves? Yeah, well, sucking it out of the taste, like just the taste of I was like bourbon chicken and sweet tea. It's like you want some corn bread to go with that? Lot of those guys don't have a possable thumbs. We'd all be so screwed if they did. Well, technically he has his thumbs, but he doesn't know how to use them. Not yet. Still a baby, be aping our own cans of food, like fuck you, I don't need you anymore. We haven't time to car like I said, such, such sweet cats, like I said, we have like endless stories with them, like miss our Durley. She likes to go into the bed and she'll like like scoot around it, like she'll be on her back, upside down, and so like use your quals, like we keep them on place and trim though, so it's like they're not doing any damage. But she scoots like all the way around the bed and when time she was gone so fast I was like, Archer, are you auditioning for Nascar? Like sometimes she'll even have like a little toy with...

...her and she scoots around with it. Until one day I look under there and I say, I'm like, archers, that you and no, it's lucky on his back scooting. Now what he is like four times as big as archer, even though they are brother and sister. Like he just got like bulked up big boy. He's got the thumbs going on, but he is like the sweetest. He's opening cans of food in the night. You don't even know it. I know that's what happens to him all then's but yeah, it's like any pets that I've ever had. I've always loved them, like I never use them or anything. I was like, I couldn't. I was like you see those sad commercial Lalla? I was like now, I can't do that. I get all right, yeah, well, that's the problem I have is I work for I work for an agency where we help people and we raise money to help them and and but you know, at any time I see the pet people getting more money I'm like, what the Hell is wrong? But you yeah, I know, it's like pets can get more money, but people can't. I forgot how to combine my people with these pets. You know, give me a break. I know it's like have them holding pets, you know, just to confuse people. My donating to the person of the pet. They I'll do the pet, I'll do the thing. You know, I was a homeless guy in Philly once. He had a sign. You know, can you give me money to buy food for my dog? And this is just typical. You know, people didn't want to give him money. You know, go get a job, you bomb, you're just going to spend it on alcohol. But they were like yeah, here you go, there's money for your dog. All Day Long, buddy, you make sure that dobs okay. Never wants into the guy. Make sure you're okay. It was always the dog right. It's like wow, wow. Meanwhile this dog sniffing out the all the you know, the half half smoke joints in the alley did double duty. It's like Oh yeah, Oh yeah, because I all right, boss, here here you go, like here's some weed, you know, get me some food. We're good to go. Yeah, you got it. You gotta have those dogs that you know. They they only sniff out one thing. I can sniff out dope, but I can't sniff out bombs. That's my hat, that's my buddy. My Buddy Larry does all the bombs. Wow, yeah, definitely. Yeah. So well, you know, other dogs thinking that cop dogs or the man when they come around, they all like, I just eat cop dogs, like lunching up throughout. Little dog sniffing exactly like what it again, that dog US valley. Okay, you smell your beefy like impossible whopper farts. He could smell the stuff that you just shoved up your ass. That's why say about dogs, though, because if you see a dog, the whole front of their faces basically their smell, the nerves connected to their nose, so that they can apparently smell apprehension, fear, they can smell a bad person, and I'm just like that guy just probably hasn't had a bath in a while. You know, it doesn't mean he's a bad person, but I love the fact that they can smell fear and I love the fact that people, full grown adults who are probably not afraid of most anything could be so fearful of my little Chiuahua. Jua was her great although I just call him the suppository of the dog. Oh my God. Yeah, I'm sad. Yeah, it's like hands, like your ass were just inhale. Yeah, my cousin John used to have a Chuahwa. He was kind of older in his ears, he was blind and everything. We always meet sure that we were safe, you know, stepping off the bed. So we didn't wish him if he was down there, but mostly he would, you know, have him up on the bed. And this was probably back when cousin John and I reconnected, like after so long, and I was hanging out with him. His Little Chuahua was up on the bed and we're just hanging out. That chuaha comes over and just starts humping my arm. I'm ready, John, is this normal?...

It's like, you know, I never wasn't even do that. I was like, well, apparently he makes me some about you smell that? Yeah, like he's old, blind and still ready to go. Because CHUAA was the females in charge of the packs, and it's the strange thing is the females hump and I don't even know how they learned it and like we just had a pit bull big people named Ryan. I'm moving next door and it's the funniest thing seeing my little Chihuahua. She's so in love with him, but the first thing she wants to do is hump his leg and he's like what is up with this? And then even the neighbors like what the Hell's wrong when you dog? I'm like nothing, now's what the girls do. He's like, God love them. Who was a Chuah? Wah, I know I'd be humping every Oh, we and I did. We just never really idea anything exactly. Maybe I was a Chuaba on the form on a former life. Yeah, there we go. I've never want to add like an exotic pet, like some crazy thing like a tiger or a bear. Hell, yeah, I love some tigers. God, hell, yeah, like, yes, yeah, like Baboo, like the ausolet from Archer. I would totally love an Ausolet. Awesome Lot. Huh. Yes, I totally name him baboo. I think I draw the line it. Like monkeys and anything that can, you know, actually has an apposable thumb and can think. Yeah, anything they could think. Now we don't need that around here. Yeah, we don't need that. I know that's what happened around here. It's our right. You have to go to another household because, no, no, I had a friend who had a Kapouchian monkey to bit someone's Pinky off the time. By the time they they couldn't get the pinky out of the mouth. The monkey swallowed it and the friend said that's okay, dude, like I didn't need that Pinky. I know it's like, oh my gosh, like no, no, no, I didn't no, no, that's a pet that they're patther. I'm be afraid. I mean like if he had like a small penis or something, don't he was naked, that monkey would have bit that thing right off. Yeah, that's why I don't get too naked at the petsil on that much. I get right. Yeah, the groomers. Thank you. Grooming, though that might be a big thing. That could be I don't know. Could you like imagine being like if you're naked and you're rooming pets and you just got all that first dollars, are naked then, so they stand on the opposite side and half off your room. Today, if you nude, except for you, buddy, but for you there's half offic circumcision. Yeah, we're charging in twice as much just the tip. So what are some stupid names for pets? Oh, I don't know, probably like Poochie or Pooh here. Right. Some of them are just like pet and will obviously pet names. But my friend names just like Shit Ball, stink face. I think you need one. CUNT lips once, wow, he could yell out the door, Hey, cunt lips. Nice. And then when I was younger, if my dad lived like we're barn was, there was his cat and I named him shit ahead, Shit and literally the cat would not come over until you call them Shit head and right, dad's like Nice, room, Nice Yeast. These are terms of endearment that we usually say for our spouses. I was a kid, though, at least I was a kid, but yeah, his name was shit head. You know who's hung like a son of a bitch? I mean his nuts stuck around his butt like it was crazy. My friend is this cat gut hit by a car and, Oh my God, the thing is like it half of its half of its face got mangled and apparently it's nose got crushed and now breathe through its mouth all the time. So it's no big deal, except when it's laying next to...

...your head at to a Oh yeah, I can imagine that. I had that's squeezing through its mouth and you're like, why didn't you know? What's up with you cat? How long you going to be around? Anyway, you me a little mask and he a little inhaler, like what's going on? Once a go what's going on, but the important thing is the catch, the Wie. Yeah, awesome. I had a I had a guess in terms of exotic pets I've had. Well, had my birds, but I had a snake once and it just always seemed to get the heck out and it would take days to find it. And then you'd always find it down in the basement and always seemed to make its way down to the basement and it would wrap around the warmest pipe that he could find, and so if you just waited it out a couple days, that's usually where you'd find it. But I remember what I first got that parrot. The Guy told me he'd clipped its wings and it couldn't fly anymore. So I took it outside and that sucker flew right all away. Wow, and moments and it flew basically about I don't know, five or six on our feet up into a pine tree and I call the guy up and he's like, well, it's like you told me this bird couldn't fly. He said, well, he can't really fly, but he can get left. I'm like okay, well, I don't know what the difference out with, because they lifted this shit right out of here her at head. So now I'm camping out the Para binoculars looking up in this tree. And you know, over the series of the next four and a half five days, this this bird would fly from one tree of the next and every time he flew you got a little lower because it probably got a little hungry and a little more thirsty. And so five days later, after camping out, sit by the car with the monoculars and call into the honey bird, the fucker landed right back in the backyard where he started. Smart Birds. I was so angry, very smart, I think a fucking day have all work and he gasucker came right back down where he started. I was like, Oh my sole bish, as I cut this fucker's wing, so he cannot fly or get left. Get left, I'll give you lift. Yeah, a lot of money for this stupid bird. That's another thing I don't like to pay. I don't usually pay money for my pets. They just going to come into my life. I've paid the occasional adoption fee, but the free pets are the ones that cost the most. I miss are one cat, fluffy, that we had. He had found right in summer's point. I was hanging out of their friends house and this cat just came up to the porch and it was like so friendly and everything jumped in my laugh. I was pattent in I was like, yeah, whose count is this? It's like it's my neighbors, but they have to get rid of it because the waste will urge it. I was like well, you know, it's like let me, you know, call my dad, who was, you know, a sucker for pets, and I called him and I was like yeah, I was like, can I have this cat, you know, if the neighbors say it's okay, and we go over there and sure enough, you know, they gave us the food and everything that. So here you go now. My Mom, on the other hand, was like, Oh hell no, you did not bring another cat into this house, you know, and she was like m no, and she was dusting one day, and this was back when we had, you know, one of those big old TV's that sat on the floor. You know, she was dusting in the cat came up, jumped on the TV and then put his little paws on her neck like he was going to give her a hug, and gave her, you know, one of those little cat rubs and she's like a longs like we can keep him. It's that's always doing. Any want to move in there? Know? Yeahs like, fuck you, I live here now. I don't need to be cute anymore. Exactly. It's like uh, it's like that's how we got our fluffy. Yes, that he was a found one. It's...

...a funny to other like well, you know, we want to adopt your pet. Well, you know, there's a long list of people. You know your and then the next day it's like hey, you got it to the top of the list just that quick. Other people that were bullshitty. I know, it's like crazy. Well, that's how it was when we were looking. We were looking to adopt our kittens, Archer and lucky, and I saw them online, but they were at like the Cape May, like Spca or something, and I was like okay, like like let me, you know, send an email with them know that we're interested. I never heard anything. So we went over to the ocean city pet place where I'm not sure if that's in this PCA or not. I can't remember, but anyway, there was one notion city. So we went there and, you know, we're checking out the cat and I filled out the forms and everything. They actually check with your vet because they want to make sure it's like you're you're going to take care of this cat. You know. So this is okay exactly. It's like, you know. So it's like it was legit and everything, and they're like yeah, we have, you know, to coming up from Kate May. That would be a perfect fit. And we're like, and I'm like the two cats from the computer, because I've seen them out. I was like yes, yeah, we were many exactly there. I thought they would have been adopted a while ago, but it was the things we tell ourselves. It was fate, it was fate's computer sabe exactly. I was like, yeah, I thought they had been adopted, but they were actually too young and I guess they had taken their photos down or whatever. Because they were, you know, still too young and because they ended up being bobble fed and everything like that. They were just so tiny. Oh, I've been there and it's like me, I adopted this shell ty once and the people were so heartbroken and they said she's not gonna she's not gonna go with you, she's not gonna go with you. So I took a cheese steak with me, that dog. I back car fast and even look back. They were heartbroken like we were. She doesn't love us, he's sneaky bastard. Yeah, she's taking your pocket routine. Yeah, that did it there, that sure did, Man Bang Yeh man. Never we adopted a cat once and it was because it was we named in trouble, because they're like, well, you're here on a good day. We're like I like, well, this guy's awful friendly, like yeah, his name's trouble. WHOA, what's his name? Trouble for? Well, because we're going to euthanize him this afternoon if you don't take them home with you all. But Jeez, yeah, Oh, wow, thanks a lot. So, like he's mine now. It's like I couldn't. Yeah, if I was in that position, I would just take him. That's just a sales ploy. Give me a break. Really gonna kill him as I'll come a watch if that's what you're telling me, and I go on, no, it's true, or like Oh God damn it, it's like yeah, he's our YEP me. Yeah, I was like that's how we all you know, I remember when I was younger and our friend was moving and they couldn't take their cat with them, so we ended up getting the cat and the cat ended up getting pregnant and having kittens, and then all the neighborhood cats got those kittens and some of those kittens ended up having kittens, and then it's like we end up having to from like the leader that was like, I don't know, like ten deep in the bunch. We ended up getting them. We called him smoky in the bandit. We really has to stop with themes. It's been gone off for too many decades and movies it's to any decades now. I was like, you know talking about that. I was like, yeah, we really, yeah, we need to stop doing that. So, yeah, it's like as yeah, it's like all these kittens ahead kittens, and then we got two more of their kittens and it was like crazy. I'm like, wow, so we're pretty marcially. The neighborhood pet adoption is it's right. Do it for great books. Yeah, we did. Yeah, and even when my dad lived out on the farm and there were all these barn kittens, but there's there...

...were so many popping up and my friend's mom she was like, you know what, we can take them and we can, you know, adopt them out to other families and stuff. So I was like, okay, let's get a few cages ready. I was like now they are barn kittens. They had fleece. I got this awesome fleet powder, you know, didn't need to use the water or anything. The fleet powder worked amazingly. These cats had like no fleas at all and she even took them to the vet. They got checked out, they were fine, and then they she was ready to get, you know, adopt them out to people and she ended up keeping six for herself. I was like woud yeah, Great Lady's Yep, I'm pretty sure she still has this those cats today, which is awesome. It's like, Oh, yeah, we're gonna adopt these out. Oh never and I'm keeping them. But that's okay because I knew they went to a loving home and family, do you? Oh, yes, exactly. They lived out on a farm themselves. So it's like, I know they had gotten them neuterspade or a combination, and we're actually jealous of these cats. Exactly. So they've lived out, you know, on a farm. So if they are so long far you living to go? Hey, speak for yourself. So that's just my little town. I know. I live in the Getto in my head. So it's all good. Yeah, you live in opulence. I live in the back of my car. Another reason I'm so anxious to do this podcasting. Yes, if you can, please support us. Go to www dot in the beast showcom. That's right, and get me out of the back of my car so I can at least sit in the front of it. You mean you have the front too? Yes, wow, you had double decker right there. Actually, yeah, I can run it out of you know, it's some bodies in the trunk easily. Very nice. Yea. So we don't deliver pizza now because I only get eight miles to the gallon. So that doesn't make a lot of sense. Nope, and then he wants to good to bed, like hungry and thinking of pizza all night, because your whole car would smelly pizza. But you surround yourself with your pets and you're all as well. That is very, very true. So they're slicing your face open at three am because you won't pet them and you smell like pizza, because cats like pizza. Yeah, that's like pizza. That's like pizza. Yeah, they do like anything you're having. Basically, my loves her morning coffee. She demands it. I figure it's because she's from Mexico. I don't know. Hey, whatever floats her boat. You know, she loves that. A coffee with a little cream. She'll stick your head in your glass and the problem is, if you turn away, she's in it. Wow, think about her cough, Caffeine Addiction. You know, it's not just for people. It's, yeah, for pets as well. A little Chuawa, you know. He's a little little guy named peanut, and it turns out these different forms that I see everyone names are stupid Chuawa peanuts of the World Unite. Heck. Yeah, it's like all right, well, I think we're wrapping up about pets here enough, where we're gonna leash our pets and go for a walks, he's yes, we are well, I'm beauty on the beast. Check this oven. With it. WWW DOT in the best showcom.

In-Stream Audio Search

NEW

Search across all episodes within this podcast

Episodes (73)