Beauty and the Beast
Beauty and the Beast

Episode 11 · 1 year ago

Episode 11 - SICK


Episode 11 - SICK

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Coming to on his life from Leakstide,I'm deating tat, I'm the beast. Here we go with another episode and he thebeast, and here we are again another episode of beauty and the beast. Mineis beauty. If you're counting. This is episode,number eleven double toothpicks. I was trying to think back when I waseleven and it just seemd to be too far away. Ican't remember, maybe if I saw some photos, but I come from an error where wedidn't take a photo every single thing that ever happened in our life, so I do remember agethirteen ha ha ha ha mostly because I got a nice watch formy birthday and about an hour later, my buddy broke it at my birthday party. So I was about that time. I stoppedwearing a watch because who cares what time? It is the most important time istime that you're hungry? What time is it? And I don't mean just eating lunch,because it's time for lunch I mean because you're actually hungry now I have a little disorder. Well,actually have many disorders, but one of the disorders. I have it's something about a nerve: that's inmy stomach, which is all messed up now, because of multiple herny operations,and when you put pressure on this nerve, it gives you it gives you a terrible episode of howheart, paplitations and sweating, but the other thing that this nervedoes is. It runs through your stomach and into the section of your brain thattells you when you're, hungry and part of the nerve runs through thesection of your brain that tells you to sneeze, so whend, I'm really reallyreally hungry, just totally empty. Like I fasted, for you know twenty fourhours, then I will have a sneezing fit and that's something you don't want todo these days. Folks, you don't want to have a sneezing fit for any reason: nothin's tickling your nose these days. So even though we are trying to keepour shows nontopical, so they have a ever green quality. Today, we've decided that our subjectwill be sick. That's right! The show is sick, whether it's sick, because you're ill,whether it's sick because of your attitude or whether it's sick, because it'ssomething that's Rad and cool, because somewhere along the line of whords sickbecame associated with something being awesome. So sick- and this is one of the biggest problemswe have with communicating- is using words that mean one thing to suddenly hiply described something else,that's so sick that song was so sick, so sick. It made you sick to yourstomach, sick, so sick, so who out there hasn't been sick, come on who out? There has been really sick,I'm really lucky, because I actually was got it out of the way. The firstday I was here, I was born with a pneumonia and spent my first days in anoxygen tent. Many people will say this is what myproblem is that I was born. I was born sick,that's right, but I'm trying so hard to stay well, and one of the reasons isbecause the currently, the best kind of health insurance to have seems to bestaying. Well, now, one of the ways that I stay wellhere at Kasa de Bist hes with something called Fire Cider. I highly recommendthis. I am really not much of an advocate and,I sure, don't believe in magical Elixors, but I do know from a lot ofresearch that I've read lately that...

...good gut health he's one of the ways tostay ahead of the game when it comes to t things like the covid nineteen baby.So what you want to do is you want to havegood gut house now. A lot of people think that taking probiotics gives themgood, guthoalth and hey I'm not a doctor. I just pretend to be on on theradio while actually this podcast. Currently I am pretending to be one, but the thing is that firesider willget your gut health back there now. PROBIOGS are good if you've takenantibiotics, but we don't want to get sick enough to have to take antibiatics and all that probiasill do is returnyour gut healte to where was at a healthy level before you got sick andtook antibiotics, and after that you got health just takes over. Soprobiotics are good after you've been sick to help you get better get you gothealth where it's supposed to be, but then they don't do anything for you. Soit's a waste to take em but firecider. On the other hand, now the thing aboutit is a lot of people aren't going to like it, because it's pretty super hotand I'll. Tell you why this is what it's made out of you get a great big jar and you put in a quart of raw unfiltered apple sider. So a lot ofpeople already they take a teaspoon of that Aday. So let's take that as thebase. This thing that a lot of people swear by and already take a teaspoon aday for good health. To that ye add tumorick, Yeu, add some garlic, clovhesYoa, add some dried red peppers and you put some cinnamon sticks in there andyou put some honey in there and you put some fresh ginger in there and you stir itall up and you let it ferment for about two weeks started out on the started out on the counter. Let that warmth get in there startfermenting and blending those wonderful ingredients, all of which many peopleswear by individually. Well, we've just taken them and put them all together inone wonderful, itle licks are called firecider. Now the biggest controversy about firesider is calling it firesider. Is that trade marked or not? So you know, I also call it supersider, but what happens is after two weeks you stir that jar up and then youstrain it into a another jar, and now you've got firesider and boy. Oh boy,you take a little bit of that in the morning. It knocks you right up, youknow what knocks you up yeah? Well, you can see what I've been thinking aboutwhile I'm and Quarantine. So I would like to say shout out to Godfor sending all those beautiful joggers my way I can see from my front windowduring the lock down. So I was on the subject of firesider.That stuff will grow hair on your chest, maybe even on your Nipples, I don'tknow, Ido know that it'll wake you up betterthan coffee and in fact, some days when you wake up and you just feeling kindof like ah take a little of firesider and I'm telling you five minutes. Letyt you're like let's go. Let's get this day going a the secret tough, I'm going to tellyou the secret. The secret is that, while the big jarsfor maning- and it might take two weeks to get your fireside or going after youget that first batch strained and in the leather jar and ready to go, thenyou fill up the big jar again and start the fermenting process so that youalways have some sider formenting and also have some cidter strained, so not for nothing. I've given this tofriends, it's selpething with their allergies. I swear by it and I don'tswear by a lot of things. Honestly, I don't, I don't think, there's any kind ofmagic cureall, because every single one of USS Different same thing with thefiresider you, maybe you don't want the dried red peppers in it. Fine put somemore honey in it. Make it sweeter put some lemon in it mix it with some waterwater it down, and you should really actually drink some water and maybeeven brush your teeth, avter to use it because ey'll eat the enamel off yourteeth, so Magi want is doing down there and it got to all those nasty littlevirus, critters, all those covid nineteen spors. However,they look every time. I see him depict it on the TV they look a littledifferent, sometimes they're, nasty and red and other times, they're. Look like they're, blue and green, andsometimes they look like death. They all look like death, nomatter what so...

...sick, being sick, so born out of thewomb, sick, other peoples. Everything makes them sick, we're living in aworld today, where everybody's allergic to everything, people have alallegicreactions to things that never affected people before and especially things like peanuts,like they've, been around forever, but I luckily only have analogy to onething: Penicillin, which is an ancient drug use thim as an antibiotic, and theonly way that the only thing that that does to me is ohtat kills me that's theside effect of that. I do remember my friend Bob we lived inAnnapolis and we work for a software company and all summer long we wouldeat these. Just fresh off te boat crabs. There was no stoping us. We were eatingcrabs all the time they were cheap, they were delicious, they were fresh.They were little place that I remember in Innapolis where they would pull outthe Brown paper on the table and just throw the crabs right there onthe table in the middle of the table and I'm of the Nutcracker and pick crab eater school. Other people are inthe Hammer School of crab eating. So you know just watch yourself whenyou're around those hammer crab eaters, because that shits flying all aroundyou might get crab Rignin your eye. But it turns out that you have to becareful when you're reating crabs, because they have sharp little barbs ontheir legs and those sharp little barbs can go in your fingers, because yourfingurs get all soft from picking the crabs. Apart and by injecting these little barbs offthe crabs and your fingers, you can develop an alergy over the course ofeating crabs all summer, and then you won't find out so you're,actually at the biggest crab eating event in Maryland, that you've beenwaiting for all summer long and your body has his first crab and his throwcloses up and has to go to the hospital, because he's Goingno die from eating acrab that just a little while ago was the most wonderful thing. I remember a guy. He was so thrilled.He was in New York. City got a new job and one of the most awesome thingsabout New York City was basically wonderful, Sushi restaurants on almostevery block. He was telling me about this once wonderful Sushi restaurant, Iguess they're pretty common in Japan, where the Sushi just comes along on aconveyor about, and you know you grab what you want. You eat it and keeptally, which, of course, this. This is nevergoing to exist anymore. Probably after what's going on in the current state ofeating in a restaurant which is now there's not a single restaurant, youcan eat in unless it is illegal. So, once upon a time there was a Sushirestaurant, he would go to with conveyor bels full of food and he lovedit. He just was bragging about the cost, how wonderfully affordable it was and the lunchspecials they had and having some Sushi on the weekend and having a little bitof Sushi there for lunch again and turned out over to about three monthsperiod of being in New York City, he started todevelop mercury poisoning, that's right, he ate so much Sushi was gettingmercury poisoning and they caught it. Pretty quick and like the doctor, knewright away. I guess that's some kind of common thing with newbis in New York.They just eat the Sushi themselves to death and because there's mercury poisoningin this fish now- maybe not all of it- maybe just some of it. But the point: is You n still? Youcan't eat it every day. You'll do you could develop an allergyto it? So I'm lucky, like I said the onlything, I'm a allergic to that I know of is panicillin. So unless I get ainjection of that, though I do remember Whel, I did getthe flu the last time. I got the flu, so let me think the last time I got theflu. I know this isn't a biography show, but I guess I could talk about theTimes. I was sick and let me tell you some of theTimes I was sick. It wasn't. It was because of injuries not because of diseases. So the last time I got the flu theEagles on the Super Bowl. So there you go sports fans. If I should come down withthe flu good chance, the Eagles will win theSuper Bowl again. If, in fact, there's a football season, what doesn't seem likethere is,...

...and so that was the last time and I waswent to the emergency urgent care. Yes, you have the flue you test positive. Ithink I had type to or whatever the lesser one was, and they sent me out the doorwith Denttenda a Panacella, that's right, even though they knew I was a Leecic toPendacellin through some clerical era in the closet, where the antibiotics and Penecilin were kept. Iwas given the old penicillin and I didn't checked it just stuck in in myhand, in a bag, and I left, but I didn't leave that there is the there isthe saving grace for some reason. I said you know you're an old man, youhave a small prostate and you just drank a cup of coffee in the waitingroom while finding out that you had the FLO.So why don't you go to the bathroom before you drive all the way home? Andthat way you won't have to be like a RA source when you get there soundthinking at my age and I'm sure this is just the sexxiestthing that the female, the women listening haveheard in a long time that this guy wl needs to go to the bathroom. You knowjust in case now. I learn his from my dad on long road trips, which ICAN getout every last drop, but because I went to the bathroom and I was in there and took my timewash my hands walk out. There's the doctor saying: Oh thank God. We thoughtyou left with the penicillin and I'm like what and that's right. They wantto give me something else, because I need antibiotics, a Zpack, not panacillin. Oh H, we gave youpennizillan by accident. Oh imagine if you had taken it, so I yeah, which is actually one of the biggest reasons for death and my family isgoing to see the doctor going to the hospital. That's right. Last time I was in the hospital forlength o Sday. It's because I had as staff infection another wonderfullysexy thing to talk about here on this week's episode of beauty in the beastthat staff infection started in Te Mash in my insideod me from my herny operations,ah brother ever see those commercials. Have you been a victim of Herniamash?That's me. I got the yards of that stuff. In me. I've had three operations.I don't lift anything anymore. I don't even sometimes lift my hand to salutethat's right, but I'll tell you what I was doing ahell of a lot of lifting sho, I'm moin to this house and part of the reason I got it for socheap is because I'm doing some work on it and I was cleaning the house out withhelp of my family missus beast and we basically filld a dumpster withall of the stuff that the last tenants of the house left behind amazing, likean episode out of horders and where I was actually shoveling stuff into adompster. And if your life comes to that folks, where somebody's got toshovel your shit into a dumpster, then you need to give up some stuff. I knowthis is what the big thing is. People still during this crisis want O go. They want to go shoppingevery day, they're so addicted to shopping and they're also now beingtold to Knocka shopping, to have stuff delivered, and sometimes sometimes ittakes a week to get stuff delivered d people like cansens te week. I want mystuff now. I need my stuff now, I'm lucky, because I live in a smalltown and we got a lot of little stores little bit day because I don't have togo to the chain store from how where people have to stand apart and nowthey're limiting the amount of people who go in, but it is kind of cool having to wear amask now to go shopping. I used to only wear a mask when I was robbing theplace now. It's just like Kay put one on. You want some eggs. You got to putone on need that half and half that's right, so even in quarantinewith supplies where they're at which, in our neighborhood ain't so bad. I didsee some people standing in the liquor store today, but not in my town in thenext one down so still plenty of good liquor in my town.Folks, that's right. I live at the Jersey, short little tonne namedVentnor. We have seven Counton, seven...

...liquor stores and this whole town isabout two miles wide two miles long. So you do the maththere's like a liquor store for every thousand people. Here in the winter,actually, the population is rising, but we have finally had to do crazythings like shut down our board Walkin beach and go to battle with the secondhome owners who want to come to the shore in quarantine and bring theirdiseaseals. That's right, some of the first cases in our area, Er from out oftowners tourists, who decided to grab a quick air, BNV or open up their secondhome because hey their taxpayers, they have every right to do so, and you don't want to be having a fistfight with the guy who, in August, when the summer actually is here and peoplecan come back to the shore he's Goinna, be at his barbecue he's like hey put that hotdog downweren't you one of those people who signed a petition. That said, Icouldn't come to the Jersey shore fuck, all you. Second Homeowners didn'tweren't you one of those guys. Now you want to eat my hot dogs and hambers andeat my potatos out. I think not you should go, be gone, be gone yearround, resodant bow to the will of second homeowners. Oh and they're so arrogant when youheard them on the news, it's pretty funny and hey. Maybe some of you aresecond homeowners. I hope you're, nice and snuggled in to where you actuallylive all year round. If you register to vote here, that's one thing: If not,you got to keep your diseasals home. That's right! Take your covid nineteenand keep it home. Please, because this is a wonderful. LittleBerg got a lot of good friends here and I was watching the news and apparently part of thissickness is just causing crazy shit to happen all around the country andthere's a town here in Jersey, where drones are now enforcing curfew andlockdown on social distancing. That's right! The drone has software. Now youcan find you remotely tell you that you should step back, let you need tomaintain six feet apart and I'm thinking what the hell what'sgoing to happen. Next, you know empty cities where people are locked in their homes and social distancing is in force, spyedrones. This is not science fiction. Folks, this is our life. This is our life, a life of drones andlockdowns. That's right and keep your little Bradhome. We don't want them in a school anymore, because that way, we don'thave to pay any teachers, but it'll all go back to the old normal.Soon enough, we're all hopeful right. How long can this possibly go on and how many people can it possibly takeout it's taking out an entire generationpension holders and people receiving social security wow? Some people are definitely coming offof the roster, taking them off the role there. Whatever hell, thatthing is that they keep. That tells them to send you a check. I have no idea. It makes me sick to think aboutretiring or being able to retire, like I should tell you. My misgivings atpart of my retirement plan is to dress in one of those costumes inDisney world and then sleep inside of the haunted mansion on a cot. That'sokay with me, but of course they ruin that by causedisneywill shut down now. So who knows, if I'll be able to ever fulfill thatmarvelous retirement plants O my plan b? Is Series of bank robbers that isirrefutable evidence that I've done and I have no remorse and I hid the money use me. I just coughed and of course that'slike a thousand dollar fine. I think so. I'm just wondering if, if you knock oneof those stupid drugs like when it flies by and you're standing too closeto your friend and the Jone is now has speech capabilities and I say to you, citizen: You are in violation of socialdistancing guidelines. You must separate six feet apart or suffer theconsequences and you're like Hay, fuck... drone, Pisse off Yo, stupid drone and the nextthing the drones tazing you and your friends running away and you're screaming, and there aresirens in the distance. That's right and the real police are coming to pickup your sorry ass for fucking with their drone. They probably charge you with civildisobedience, some kind of new social distancing, fucking laws that they'regoing to find you for that they're just making up now, even as we speak and, ofcourse, a ten thousand dollar fine and six months in jail because you fuckedwith a drone and then you get in jail and all the hardcork guys are like yea,I killed the guy. That's right! I Didn' I choked his life right out of Ham.You're like Oh yeah. I kicked it drown. Actually I just didn't even do that. Ijust told it off. You told off a drone. Youre Publican O me number one dude, so I hope everybody is well because nowevery little cough sneeze running ta temperature hours running a temperaturewho's not running a temperature, I'm always a little warm, but try not to cough at all in public I'll,be sucking that down, because you just never know who'slistening and he's Goinna report you to the Covid nineteen police. That's wherewe're getting to that's another sickness! We have. Is this new willingness to just drop adime on your neighbor? That's right, a fuckers! Having a party I'm not invited,there's more than ten people there, I'm calling a cops that business is tryingto survive. They got the lights on something bads going on in there, soI'm Goin, I report them or hey that guy person is a profiteerand they're charging a dollar more for handsanitizer than they showd. I thinkI should report them. That's right. It's new era of reporting, yourneighbor for violations and every day there's more of those. Infact, I live in New Jersey. The governor goes on every single day, withnumber updates on the situation and new mandates and new executive orders thathe signed and sometimes there's a record day. He signs for executiveorders in one day. Oh my gosh his hand must ache from signing all those papers and every single days little morefreedom gets taken away, and you know now we got towns that are being under surveillance by drones, so delivers your Amazon package and thenreports back to big brother on you and one of the sicknesses. I see alsoright now, as people subscribing to things because they're stuck inside andnow they need that wwe subscription, so they can watch every wrestlel maniathat there ever was or they're going to watch Disney, plusfor only ten ninety nine a month and the next thing you know, there'sgot four hundredolar cable bill and they don't know how to feed their kids,but they watched game of thrones twenty times in a row.They know all of the plots backwards and forwards even some of the dialoguetheul performers for you over dinner, oh, but there is no dinner because wespent all our money on subscriptionns tool, cable because we're just notentertained enough. There's just not enough entertaining shit, I'm so bored.Even if I sit for one minute fifteen seconds into it, I am bored how am aever going to get through the other forty five seconds, I'm going to be nwatch the Rick and Morty show that's right, so everybody's watching Wor, too muchTV and if they're not watching too much they're trying to make their own hellocome on folks, just because they're sick out there we're not sick enough towatch some of the bullshit that you are now putting on Youtube every singleperson I know now it wants to be a youtube star and whether they canmonetize their channel or not. Hey this ISN'n kitty content. I use the wordfuck. Okay. Yes, it's a colorful and bright titlesequence, but it's not for kids, that's right, because you watch a lot of content andyou can see it's totally for kids and one of the things I've been watching alot of lately, because I've been living...

IING, my life in five to ten minuteincrements and fuck this one day at a time shit I just want to get throughthe next five minutes. Thank you very much. So I've been watching a lot ofthese dark ride: Low light ride, thorgs, if you don'tknow that is that's one of those rides you get on. It plays like Disney worldor Theyu the county fair and you sit in tha little car and your ride throughsome Saint Thi, some setup, animatrnic robots are moving lights or flash andthat's a that's a dark ride, and some of them are pretty amazing. These dayswith the robots and the lighting effects and just the technology that'savailable again technology that is being used for the basically the solepurpose of entertaining us because we're so bored it's so funny. People are stand in linefor three hours to see one of these things andit's these one of these ridelines at the big parks. The thing lasts for like eight minutes, and you know, they're bored for thethree hours you're standing in line. They get eight minutes of a thrill rideand then they go get bored in the line for the next one. So I don't want to do that. I can't doit actually- and you know, watching these movies watching these videos ofthese rides and the people in the Qeue and all the railings. Everything likeThatis all going to change, there's just no way. What are they going to do? How how weever going to go back to just being the normal going to go tothe Amusement Park? Ang Ou, going to chargeyou five dollars for a pair of gloves to wear, while you're there and covid mask with the parks, Logo, silk screened onto it. I hope they silscreen it. The embroidered ones are going to be a lot more expensive, butthey're going to be cool and they're all going to be machine. WOSSIBLE anddriable is drible even a word, but there's a lot of people who stillaren't at working. So that's going to make them sick because they're notgoing to be able to afford their scripts they're not going to be able toafford the food they need to stay healthy because Oh man, eating right isso important. I knew I was going stir crazy when I ate Bakong, like nine daysin a row, and all the walks in the world aren'tgoing to take away that second boll of ice cream. I have at eleven o'clock inthe morning, but stress eating whatever you want tocall it comfort, fooding, whatever you want to call it stuff in your face.Yeah I've been guilty of a little of that lately and tonight being no exception, where Idon't want to pay for Chinese takeout and basically there isn't any in our arearight now. For some reason, the Chineserestaurants Ave shut down, and I don't think it's because of racial threats. I just think it'sbecause you know I don't know. I don't know whyof all the restaurants locally, our local Chinese restaurant is the onethat's shut down so tonight I made beon sweet and sourpork inspired by last weeks, sweet and sour chicken. So I can sweeten sour just about anything.I think these days so ate a lot of that and going to havea little cup of tea. It is lates much later than we usually record this. I amin the process of moving and Whoa kind of daunting. You know, in addition tothe aforementioned filling a dumpster withthe people's previous possessions. We still have got a ways to go beforewe're quote unquote settled in that's right. It's just amazing how people can justlet stuff go, how you can discover that there's a brick patio underneath ten years ofweeds ever pull up a carpet and find abeautiful wooden floor like who they avv did that WHO said, I think thisbeautiful wooden floor sucks. So I'm going to put this piece of shit carpetover it that I'm going to leave it down on thefloor for the next twenty years, and I don't think I'll ever shampoo at once.Who does that, especially at a short home which is generally wet and Sandy?Who needs a carpet? Give me a break so we're doing some of that fun stufftearing out carpets, that's always a joy, and then you can see the airquality on the little meter goes up to Diditito our quality amprove. That'sright! One! LESS NHINKY! Twenty year...

...old carpet that has never been cleanout of the house. Thank you very much so we're in the process of doing thatdefinitely want to get a settled down, because I feel like once I'm settleddown that beauty and I can connect through technology and get back to ourusual sweet banter and comedic diareadischarges. That's right and it just isn't the same without her laughing.You know it's true. I really think that one day I'm going to sit down, I'mgoing to take every episode we've made and I'm just going to edit out all herlaughter and make it one long show one freaking hour of beauty laughing. Thatwill be something. Would you listen to that? I don't think she would hello and welcome back to anotherepisode of beauty and the beast. This is episode eleven and you are listeningto the episode called sick. This is one sick episode, but by now you'reprobably sick of the quarantine right. Am I right, but there are more thingsto be sick about, like you know, take it. Take, for instance, you're at homeright there's nowhere to go. Nobody to see nothing, so what else is there todo? There's Netflaxe, there's Hulo. You know any of those channels that you canwatch. There's video games, there's art people creating amazing art out. Therealso support some small businesses be sick and do that lite give them a shoutout, be sick. I think I said sick about nine thousand times by time. We're donethis episode. We are going to have a drinking ame and we are going to callit sick. So what is my sick fetish for thequarantine? Well, I'm addicted to the new game, Animal Crossing New Horizons.Now, usually I don't get a new video game that often maybe once a year I getit new, but I was like Oh what the heck. It looks cute and everybody was evenlike you know: Yeah get the game, it's cute they've been told my fiance yeahget it for it. It's a great geame, which I love. I edore it. I love it. Icould live on my island forever. You know, which is a great time since we'requarantine. So what else is there to do? Let's build up an island, and now this honestly, like Meig aGamer. This is my first animal crossing game and I know that they've come outwith ones for the Nintendo wee in the DS and I think another one came boy toMann. Smayhth had animal crossing as well, I'm not sure if the originalgameboy did, I don't think so, but so for my sickness and what a sick gamethis is. Like. I said you get to build your own island. You get to do allthese tasks, which Yo are amazing. You get the fish, you get to look for bugsyou get to. First, you get a tent and then build up things to where itbecomes a house, and then you could expand the house. You can decorate anywhich way you want. There's all these awesome things like. I don't know if Ireally want my eyelind like open to people, because I like it just the wayit is right now. So it's like why bother messing with it? It's nice, it's Wuite, it's peaceful!It's like I like doing the same things over and over again. You know it's like whether I'm lookingfor you know clams or something to do better at fishing or just in general,like finding wood to do all these DIY projects. There are so many of themlike if I did them like, I would literally have like no room ever like Ido like some. You know pros and cons about the game. It's great. They giveyou the you know what you can fit into your pockets and everything whichsometimes limits things like when I'm on, like a spre like where I'm lookingfor wood or clay or stones, or something like that or seashells, likemy pockets, send to fill up quickly. So then I either have to go back and dumpthem out at my place where I go and sell them which I've sold tons of stuff,I'm actually on. My second upgrade for my house, I'm still probably far behindon the game. I got it maybe like a week after it came out. I so almosteverybody I know like they have like these big old mansions and everythingand real furniture, like I'm still sleeping on the COT, I'm trying to makea clam shell bed right now, that's where I'm at which will look adorable.So it's like it's like there's so much things to do it's kind of like the simsa little bit, but at least here I don't think my characters will be likeburning down stuff or drowning in the ocean. Like I don't know if anybodyelse has had that, like the Sims is a sick game like let me jump off ofanimal crossing for a minute. If you know my brain, it's atd it bounces fromthing to thing to think. But since I was thinking about it, I was like Ohyeah, the Sims. I remember like when the sins two first came out. I was soexcited for that game. I got it up and...

...loaded and I was building my house. Ihad my character movin there and did my character become an arsinist and I'mlike really I'm like every time I built something they burned it to the ground.I was like GAM nice game like this wis before likebugs came out like this was like the first like Sims to it. Wasn't thererelease or anything like that, because other people had that happening,like other people had their sins theere they're killing themselves like theirSims, were actually committing zoocide. I was like what I was like. That'sinsane. I mean that is so sick, sorry, not insane. This is a sick episode.I've got a stick to sick and that's why I keep saying sick. So, if you're doingthe drinking game take a shop, because this is about to get a lot more sick,is it sicker or sick, more sick, more sick? I think we'll go with more sick,sicker sicker sicker sicker, now we'll just we'll stick with Siy, but anywayit's like the sims that takes me back. I remember working with this one girl,I actually that had the sims and what she like to do is she'd like to haveher sins, go swimming in the pool and then Sheud take out the ladder, so theywould just have to keep swimming back and forth until finally, they ran outof energy and they ended up drowning and then later that sims would comeback as a ghost. The same thing weve worked to. If you took your sims andyou put it in the house and you took away Oll the door, so the sintencecouldn't leave, they would actually die in the house and then you can havesomeone else move in there and then I think it was like at the stroke ofmidnight or something that thoe'se other sims would come back as ghostslike. Isn't that insane, sick, sick? I did it again sick and there there we are clear again allright. Now we are back to sickness, okay, so animal crossing like I coulddefinitely talk about animal crossing like almost all day, like I said,there's so many tasks in there to do, and so many Di y projects, like I justlove it like right now, there's an Easter theme. I got to meet the EasterBonny. The Easter Bunny was on my island by the way my eyeland name isshield and my character's name is Peggy. So if you can put those two together,let me know my eslands not open yet, but, like I said I don't know. If Iwant a lot of visitors or not so yeah, I was like I just like having itpeaceful and quiet and with a few people that are there now they usuallythey have. You start out with two people. It's you and two others, and you know the noks, the and Timmy andTommy go to this island and you just make it bigger and everything. It wasgreat. I got the the which mcall the museum going that justgot built and now we're having the store built and I'm looking at theisland. I'm like Damn, I wish I could move my house faraway from these people now, like. I wonder if he can do that, the aint bodythat's playing animal crossing. If you know how to get the animals, not theanimals, if you know how to like re like replant your house or something ormove it, because I like there's, there's other little spots that I cango to, which would make it like perfect. But right now it's like. I love myhouse and in fact I'm like right on the beach, so I have like bondfire outthere every night and it's like just so relaxing to get lost in my character.It's great it's great and today, like they have these little presents thatare on balloons and you shoot it down and there's all sorts of things like Igot a whiteboard. I got some glasses. I got some more DIY projects, but now Ithink I'm getting you know the bigger ones like the white board and otherthings like that. It's just amazing, like I can't believe you know how longI've actually been talking about animal crossing. Now is such a sick game, but other than that, what else? Whatelse is totally sick? Finding other movies? Yes, findingmovies, yeah, there's so much on Netflix, rightnow and so much on Hulo. I believe one of my friends posted something likeplease post movies and shows for me to watch. I fear that I'm running out ofShit, the watch, which seems like impossible, but when we've been youknow quaranting for over a month now- and we probably have like another monthto go. The sick ness is real. I don't thinkwe'll ever run hout anything to watch because there's so much to watch outthere. So what other sick things new, sick things? I did into a a sick newprogram last night called the present ent, the present presidential there we there we go it's by the same peoplethat made American horror story. So I'm like yeah. Let's give this a chance. ItHas Jessica Lanon there, which I love...

...her I was like. Oh Has Jessica Lenk,something else to watch. I was like I ran out stuff like while ago, like Ireally love Sarah Pauson and I love Lily Rad, and I think I watched alltheir movies and everything before the quarantine happend. So I'm like Oh boy,I ran out stuff, and then I saw that one I was like. Okay, let's give this achance and she is. She is an amazing actor. She is a sickactor. Let's put that way, not amazing. Let's go back to sick okay, JessicaLang is a sick actor. Everything that she does is justamazing. She can play any role under the sun, even if she had a role whereshe didn't even speak. She blow that out of the water and I'm just thinkingI'm like wow, I was like I wish. I could be like that someday. That wouldbe totally sick, so that was one of the new things thatwe started on Netflix. What else we did? We started tough watching Americanhorror story. Again, we are on on thousand nine hundred and eighty four.I do love Hallek the first. I don't know how many episodes in, but it'slike the same night like all this, like catic stuff literally happens over.It's like they took an hour of of the night and they did part of an episodewhich all leads into the whole big bang like. If you haven't watched it,there's probably going to be some spoiler stuff in here, because it'sreally really sick show. It's like I love that it take took place in the slike if they could do some more themes like that. That would be amazing. LikeI mean maybe next season, I know they're on hold right now, which islike total bummer, like everything is like on total hold and it's sick thateverything is on hold, but it's got to be on hole, but it looks like I don'tknow they have some previews out already of the next American horrorstory season, ten as it season ten or eleven. Oh anyway, their next seasoncoming out's on hold. They had some teasers up. It looks like either like Idon't want to say aliens, but it might be something from like another planetor another time. They might be bringing in Mermaids and stuff like that whichwould be awesome. So I'm hoping it's something that's like set in the future. Like I mean it's really great, goingback like especially like I said, one thousand nine hundred and eighty four,I don't know if that's like one of their best ones, but I know my fianceenjoys the music from that, because it's totally sick. I had to throw thatpart totally in there because we're talking about the S- and that was justgreat I mean like when I first saw it and everything- and I was like oh nonother, one of my favorite characters just got killed. You know and now rightnow, I'm like I'm like cheering for Mr Jingles, like we didn't o start rewatching itagain, I'm like Jane, Golls, Jangles Jangles, like it's just so sick, I'mlike okay. Now that I've, you know cheer for all the actors and stuff likethat, and I know what happens and I'm like you know what now I'm going tocheer for the killer this time. You know because why the hill not like, Isaid T it was great: it's like sevens totally sick, so yeah iyeah AmericanHaror store Ne Thousand Nine hundred, and eighty four, like I said it really,you know, takes me back to the day. I think I was like six back then, but itwas so great because they put like all those Campi movies like Friday, thethirteenth and you know anything from the s like theme like the hair of theaerobics, like just everything I mean they could put, maybe a little bit morelikes an totalies in there, but it's like I'm totally cool with that, and Ijust love the factto that what's her name H, I'm losing it again.Okay, it's just the six six subject and I think I'm sick in the head becauseI'm like literally losing it like a person, that's gone, I'm totaly, I'mused to working from home, but now it's completely different because now it'slike there are no art, chows ore, no comicons, there's like none of thatstuff. No events, I've got no comedy gigs, I haven't been on stage and whatfeels like forever- and I know some of US comedians are going nuts and it'slike totally sick, but we have some open micenigts that have been on zoomand through zoom. I'm thinking about doing some comedy some late night stuff,because we all know that my comedy is sick, which means it's somewherebetween rout Arad, rated Xso, I'm thinking, maybe a ten or eleven o'clockshow would be great. That would be definitely sick, definitely and totally sick. Okay, nowI'm just adding words on the sick like six, six, six, six, six six! This is asick episode. So, yes, if you are listening toepisode eleven, it is the sick episode. So yes, as I was saying before, goingback, just loving American Haro Store N,... thousand nine hundred and eightyfour, it's like reliving the past and like it's. It has so many twist inthere, like you, don't know. What's coming after after another, I believeit was like at the end of the first episode of the beginning of the secondone. There was like a big twist in there and then every time you turnaround, it's like all these characters are related to each other in one shapeor one way or another, and it's like wow. It's like this is sick. I'mdropping the sick ball again, so if you're takin shot take another shot,because I'm about to drop this sick ball on that one. So yes, it's likebeen keeping busy through the quarantine. I just want to throw thisin here too, a little PSA. You know it's like times are differentright now, and a lot of people are losing focus and they're losing hope,because we don't know when this is going to be all done. If it's going tobe all done. So maybe this is the lifestyle change that we have to getused to, but don't give up hope it's like we're all in this together. Youknow. If you need to talk to someone, you know, send us some mouse and tosome heat mail. We can do serious from time to time. But just you know, if youneed to talk to someone talk to someone, it's some. Some families are justconnected and some are far apart, where they can't be together, and there are alot of husbands and wives and girlfriends and boyfriends that arecompletely separated now and they don't know what to do and a lot of peopleright now are adopting pets, especially if you're, single and you're lonelyadopt the pet that pet will be there for you, but if you're getting up every day- andyou know just look at it that way, if you're opening your eyes every morning- you you are great, you were good to go.You know it's like and thank you everybody! That's in the front of thelines here, all the doctors, all the nurses, it's amazing! It's amaz! Actually, it'samazing how communities are coming together and also you know, supportyour local. You know takeout places, you know stay away from. Well, Iwouldn't say stayway from I don't want to be one of those people that say staywer from the fast food cains or anything, but there are tons of localeateries around that are doing takeout and delivery, and you know it's like ifyou have a neighbor that can't get out or something you don't check on themtoo. You know if they need something from the store that you could pick upand leave on their porch for them. That would be great. So here we are we'r back to being sick. Now, are you sick of me laughing every fiveseconds? This has become totally insane where I do one part of the podcast andbeast does the other and we combine them and it becomes this one sickepisode, which I'm very grateful for he just him and his wife just move. Soit's like congratulations on that. I really hope. Ther dogs have enoughrunning space and everything from the picture that I saw it looked prettypretty cool. It's maybe like about a half hour from year,which is great, you know. So it's like it's not that far away. So we cancontinue working on our comedy stuff and we can continue doing podcast rightnow. It's it's great, how we merge them and everything. Actually, it's reallysick. How we get to merge them. Thank hethank goodness for technologyright. It's like Reat, F! If you haven't gone on Zoom, yet with somepeople that you know or your family, I definitely recommend it. It's great.You have as many I think, as forty nine people in there for an unpaidsubscription, but if you pay for you to have likeunlimited or whatever it's great, you know same with, like facetime andfacebook and there's things on instagram that you can get togetherwith it's totally sick, which is great, because this wholeepisode is about being sick. So yuess. How did I keep in touch with everybodythrough zoom the resume, an instagram? I got to do an awesome, instagramthingcomedy type thing. It was called like comedians like what are we doing nownow there are no standups and it was a great show. It was from hone of thepeople that do girls Kongerine and I was like wow. This is awesome. Theyactually had right before I came on they had, I believe it was Nickie Lazerfrom comedy central, and I was like this is so cool. I'm like I get to do acouple minutes. You know of talk time like right after Nicki Glazer and I'mlike it was sick and I'm hoping to do somemore comedy. Things like whenever they're looking for people to come on, like I'll always do that. I actuallyhave them cracking up in the video and... the chat room, because I like stayedon for, like whatever, like the hour was and like facebook like gives youlike an hour limit like the kind of get they kind of like slow you down likeafter that or whatever, but it was like so much fun in that hour, and Iactually I told them you know she's like so what kind of comedy do you doand I was like well, I talk about lot about splushing and she had no ideawhat splushing was so I had to explain to her and if those who are listening splushing isvery sick. It's female SQUIRP, but in a good way. So yes, its is flusing andthen throughout the horse of the show she kept using spluch and splushing andspluw shee and seen with people in the chat room. So I as like, not only did Iget to go off for a couple minutes, but I taught her an awesome new word, soshe thanked me and everything after that, and it was pretty cool I was like.I would definitely do it again. I'm still l, if you about doing you, knowan open Mike on the computer, because a lot of people that have done it said you know it's not the same and forthis reason there's no crowd. There's like noenergy to get it off of, like I'm doing this podcast and I'm trying to get theenergy to keep going for like twenty minutes and keep it going and it'stotally sick. It's really hard to do like if you're the only person in aroom and you're just talking you know me do'ng improve. I can imagine a crowdin front of me like I can imagine that I'd be like yeah. You know the I pointto the screen or something like that: Yeah, that guy sitting in the cornerover there, he knows what he's doing you know, but that girl up there, youknow thes, so ave got o connect because wegot to get something going on or something like that you know like. Iwould play with the people that are there. You know doing the show too. Imean it's, it's weird. You know having just comedians as your audience, butiould figure out a sick way to do that. So yes, as we'v Bounced around from thing tothing- and you know if anybody would like to hire me as a comedian, I know acouple: People have picked up gigs over the Internet, that you know have zoommeetings and things like that, and you know for these people that have the jobs where they need to usezoom and see each other from from time to time. Sometimes they need a littleentertainment themselves. So, if you're looking for a comedian or even astoryteller, I can do stories. I can read children's stories. I don't haveto be vulgar all the time I don't want to be known as being vulgar all thetime, although that is a top coal that is sick by the way. So then some so I'm going to get back to my animalcrossing now, because I'm pretty sure I need to dig for treasure find Yoa digfor trager tick for fossils or something like that. If you haven'tplayed the game, it's it's just really fun and relaxing so looks like my time is up here. So I want to think everybody forlistening to this little sick episode. I put together. If I actually talked about anythingthat had to do with the subject, then I'm I've failed completely, but if,in fact I've rambled on for all this time and not mentioned even the word sickthan my time here is done. I look forward to talking to you againepisode number twelve. It will be the dirty dozen and please send us your ideas. Send USyour feedbacks and it's your hate bail, send us something anything but the covid nineteen I'm eating andI'm the beast.

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