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Beauty and the Beast
Beauty and the Beast

Episode 10 · 1 year ago

Episode 10 - Biography

ABOUT THIS EPISODE

Episode 10 - Biography


Welcome to the 10th episode of Beauty and the Beast where you can get to know us and see what's happening in the world of Quarantine,


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Coming to you on this live from leakside, I'm beauty ad, I'm the beast, and here we go with another episode andwe've got beasts on the phone line. Special thanks to beauty just wanted to say thanks for puttingthes show together, even though the miles separate US- and I didn't want totake a moment to shout up to my dear old mom, who ended up in the hospitalon Monday, not with the covid nineteen. She actually had a stroke and we'retrying to get through to her because leave it to my mom to go to thehospital during a plague was something that is not plaig related. So more onthat, and thanks for listening, please write us an email, dropusa line, send usome hate mail. It shouldt be hard to do with the shit that we say every week.So once again, I just want to thank beauty for putting together, shownumber ten show with some biographies and hope that you enjoy what you hearon this week's Baut in the beast show: Okay! So before we begin I've justlistene to baste on the telephone- and I went to thank him so much for continuing doingthis podcast, even though we were six miles apart, not six feet apart and Ialso want to you know, offer my prayers and best wishes to hismother and to his family and anyone else out there who's in need throughthis hard time. So thank you for being a listener and enjoy the show hello andwelcome to this sweet show. This wee shaw will be doing biography and here'sthe thing it's like we're still on quarantine. How are we making the showpossible? We are, let's get to it so, right now, I'm enjoying my life as ahouse cat. You know staying in all the time taking naps eating like fiftytimes a day. I mean it's great, I mean my coat's becoming nice and shiny, butI fear that one day I'm probably going to hack up ahairball, and then I know that it's real. I wonder if cat a like our planis working to take over the world. The humans are now becoming cats. Here wego bucho up, it's Gong to be a rough ride, but anyway, so here you go withbiography, I will take be taking you through theINS and outs of my childhood, which I was born and raised in South Jersey.I'm an only child. I've always enjoyed putting on shows nomatter what they were. I enjoy. Theater theater is my favorite for acting I'vedone films. I've done commercials. I would love to do radio. I would love todo voices and gaming. I have not done that yet, but here here we are: Let's just get right to this. If you'relistening, my biography kind of goes in an add order, so I'm beauty, my real name isChristine Nolton. I am an actor I've been acting for. I don't know a fewdecades now.

I think it was back when I did my first commercial, Iwas. Let me think I was in the eighth grade.It was awesome. It was an environmental commercial where we got to be in canoes,which was great because it was the first time that I was ever in a canoe.So I learned how to baddle it then that went on it was actually enteredinto a competition which we came in second out of the whole United States.It was pretty cool, we won an award who were on the news, we're in thenewspaper and I's actually still being played on njn about recycling. It's itwas such a great commercial people call it my commercial, because I had themost footage in it. I guess the camera really liked me that day it was so muchfine and eighth grade is also where I got into Improv. I remember my eighthgrade class. It was pretty pretty cool. We had gotten done all of ourassignments early and our teacher said well, let's go outside and well do someImprov, and I had no idea what that was at the time and it was like reallyreally cool, because we did this whole Goldie locks and the three bears thingand I played Goldie locks and we were, I was being put on trial because I hadbroken and entered into the three bears home. It was like it was. It was somuch fun. It was great I had to come up with all these reasons. You know it'slike well, I was hungry and how was cold and I was tired and you know youhave no idea how much of an impact things are that will lead into like therest of your life like right now. It's like I love doing Improv, that's prettymuch like all. I want to do besides theater, so it's like going back to that, how Igot more intoacting and everything through high school. I really didn't,have the acting bug. I was like really intoquired andeverything, but I was always Yin to choir. I guess I I joined like schoolchoirs like back when I was in fifth grade and it was awesome, so the age ofnine I was with the Oratorio Society at Stockeon College and then through highschool. I continue doing shows with them like handles Messiah and MozarsForequem, which is my favorite. If I ever had to pick a language that I loveto sing in, like Hebrews number one and followed by Latin and then English, Idon't know why. It's like, I think, the harder languages to speaker actuallythe most prettiest I do like Italian. Also. I forgot to put that into the mix.So I guess this is kind of like, like my biography, of how I really gotinto acting. But then, after high school went on, I started taking professional, vocallessons which caut me onto a whole bunch of telephons, which was amazing,I loved it. I actually did dance at the time. I did tap jazz, Balle Rithme,anything that was like thrown at me. I just did it was just so much fun. I washad a bless in classes and one day my vocal teacher was like there's likethis pageant going on at the malls like he should totally. You know, go in anddo singing just do the talent portion I was like now, man I'm put off, I'm I'mtold for that. You know it's like. I wasn't really. I think I was like Rolyteys, maybe even not even twenty at the time, but I was like Nowman, I'm tooold for that and she's like no. No, no just just goto the talent she's. Like I know you can win it so I went on and I won thetalent portion of it, which was amazing. I saw the trophy and everything andthen with e group of people there wonce you like Wen a paget like that moneygoes transferred into another pageant and then another pageant it like reallykeeps you going. So I did quite a few talent ones which I ended up winningand then from there on somebody...

...suggested they're like well wel you goout, for you, know beauty and Y, a few of few of the other categories that they have and I waskind of put off because I was still like now. No, no I'm still too old forthis. I'm still. You know that I'm not slim in anyway or shape or form, butthey're like no just you know, go up and do it and I'm like okay, you knowwhatever, so I tried it and I went. I ended upwinning, so it's like. I ended up actually hanging on to one of my titles,which was for Miss Hemisphere. I had that for a couple years. I don't thinkthey do any pageants anymore. I won that one AV ONE JERSEY, Short idol andMiss Jersey shore, idol, which I believe those two were like one anddone so, I'm guessing in the world of pageantry. I still hold those titlesbecause I was the last one to win them. I don't know what happens really likeafter they're done, but yeah. It's like okay from there went to my first renaissance, fair,which I know if beast was cary ad, be like Oh yeah, one timem at renfer likeno this. This really happened. It's like I went there. My friend Christineat time my best friend she's, like yeah. My family goes every year. Sooun's likeI went up with her and it was awesome like especially like, if you're intolike incense and stuff like that, like which we were, you know US littlewitches. You know it was like the perfect place. It was like Hoh Yeah.Not only did they have great food, but the entertainment was like spectacularand I was like I felt I felt like I was being back to my own home planet. Iguess if you would call it so it's like I went up just for one day and it gotme hooked there and I was like you know what I was like. This is really reallycool. There's like actually this one act, Beloony Lucy am poppy, show Idon't know if they still perform or not. I don't think they're at thePennsylvania one anymore, but their show was hysterical was like adult likeadult. Like comedy and everything, and my friend Christine and I she's like.Oh, we should you know we should get over there early and get a seat becausetheir shows always fill up sort of like okay. You know, let's go, you knowWewere kind of hungry, and so we ended up getting frozen banana on a stick which was like the best because it waschocolate dip. So we go over and were like front row we're like the firstpeople there and we're trying to, I think either put on our jackets or takethem off. I can't remember it was like the fall time, so it was probably oneof those days where it was warm and then it was cold and then it was warm.It was cold. I'm getting to the point. I've turned into Rosen island here fromthe golden girls. Yes, there was a point to the story so we're there and everything yeaheither putting on their jackets or taking them off whatever. So we, bothyou, know, shoved our bananas in our mouths, and you know, of course, thatth the paints a great picture. You know, especially when you're waiting for anadult show. So I remember Loni, Lucy and plopby getting there early and theywere like they're like yeah. You know it's like you spit, don't swallow andthen throughout, like the entire show, like they just pretty much like riffed off wofh me and Christine.While we were eating our bananas frozen chocolate, coverd Mananas, that theyreshowed it was just like the funniest thing it was. I was like this is likeamazing. I was like I want to live here so that really you know started myconquests on the renaissance fairs. Goi Start going to them, I guess I shouldsay and two thousand, but I Beie onethousand, nine hundred and ninetynine was the first one that I had actually went to, but in the yeartwohosand I was like you know this. This is fun. You know, I've got mylicence. I've got a car, I can just go. You know it's like three hours fromhere, but it was like nothing like back. Then you know your kid youre all palms,like three hours. You know three hours, you know party for like ten hours andthen drive three hours back, not a...

...problem. It was great, I remember,being there in two thousand and one of the weekends that they had. They hadpeople. It was just Hor weekend and I believe at that time, where I wasworking, I can only go up like on Sundays or whatever, which was cool. II only went. I guess I started going in the fall, because the summer was justyou know, hot and blazing even in August. It's still really hot up therein Pennsylvania. So it was just your weekend and I remember if people were lining upto tell the Queen, you know a joke or whatever a just as they called it and alot of people. Of course, you know my mind gives the dirty track and I justwalk like right up to her and I told her this thirty joke. I can't rememberwhat it was well bring this up in another episode. Maybe maybe this iswhere how my comedy got started as well. Maybe it started way ahead of time andI just didn't realize it, but anyway, so I go up and I tell her dirty jokeand she just she looks at me at first and then she starts cracking up andthen her whole court starts cracking up with the ladies and waiting andeverything like that and she's, like you know, would you like to join me thefollowing weekend to be a lady in waiting and training, and I was likesure that would be great. You know it's like. I can only come on Sundaysbecause of work or whatever. So it's like. I came back up. You know as manySundays as I could and I learned like so much stuff. It was great, like I got to help be incharge of the great contest, the great tossing Hod test, which was during wideweekend. That was awesome. I got to be up there, your the queen's throne for, like thechest match, and everything like that. I learned which side not to stand on,because if you stand on the wrong side and the cannon goes off, it is in yourear and then you just go deaf. So I learn the herdway. But what's reallyironic this year is the person who played the Queen in two thousand. Hername was Vanessa. She is actually back as queen this year and I wouldlike to at least go up there one weekend and you know tell tell anotherdirty joke, but that was like really fun. So I guess that like got me moreinto renaissance fairs, so then just kept going like every year to where Ieventually bought up a season pass and then, finally, I was able to join ineverything and then I traveled a bit with the Nottingham players, which wasan amazing piece, because there's no other show like that in the world, I'mnot sure if they still perform or not, but if you've ever heard of theNottingham players and you've caught their sets, they are amazing. I meanthe director Curtie he's he's just he's one of kind really he is. If I had thechance to work with him again, it's like I would jump on that train. I waslike I would like leave everything and just go. You know why I would take Mikewith me, though he definitely has to come, but anyway it's like I got totravel with them for a bit, and I, like I learned so much like usually I'vedone like nobility, like at the Pennsylvania, rinnaissance fair. It'slike I've really never done like peasant work or anything like that, butwhen I was part of the Notmi hand players, I actually got to play MaryMayham, which her father was the owner of the flower mill, and I had thisawesome like colender thing, calling or thing it was one that held flour and asifter, that's what it was and it was. It was a modern one, but it was perfect enough to use for renaissanceperiod because you know it wasn't electronic or anything like that. So itreally went with my character and I had like so much fun, especially at theConnecticut Renaissance, fair. Here we go again this one time at run: Fair, Oh Gosh, a peace was here right now hewould be having a ball. He'd probably...

...be getting me to tell all the knottybits about it, but I'm not going to do that right now, but at the ConnecticutRenaissance Fair, I was a little terror like I was know as Mary Mayham. Nowwhat our show evolved was, I can't say too much of it because undersinecontract there there are certain things that we can say about it and certainthings that we can't like a lot of behind the scene stuff. You know it'slike, I believe you know the director once this protected and everything. Butyou know it's like we would do like the these skits and everything like whereWuld be punished and like we'd, be in the stocks and everything like that andyou know the feet would be out, and I remember one time I hit this one girlwith the back of the spoon which makes this awesome slap sound. It really likeleaves a little sting, but it really doesn't hurt, but the the sound of theslap is just like amazing. Like my little Clat didn't even do it justice,it was more of like hold on her shirt years, for it was like a like, but louder more intensified.Let's just say I did it so hard that the director wasn't at the show at thetime he was back at our camp and he heard that all the way across the Shireand back at her camp. It was like the craziest thing he was like who in theheck did that and I was like me and he was like, Oh my God that was brilliant but then like after that run at theConnecticut renaisance far I wasn't known as Mary Mayham anymore. I wasknow as Mary massacist yeah, so that's took a crazy time. Imean. Maybe this is where I got my kinks from I mean I really can't saythat for sure, but you never know like if you add ofhad all these things up.It's crazy but yeah. It's like. I remember this one. Oh yeah, Kay. Okay,here we go. I remember this one time at Rin, fair. It was at the ConnecticutRenaissance. Fair. Like I said I was going nut. I love the flower. I wouldget flower like everywhere like this one girl, I think her real name wasGina. I can't remember her character's name, but I had flow. She had like ablack skirt on and, of course, I had to be the little bastard at the time thattook the flower N my hands and put handprints like right on her butt andshe walked, walked around all day like this too, and she didn't notice untilsomeone told her and like let me say when she walked around all day, shewalked around all day and nobody said, or it was great andwith, the Flower and everything andthe Queen loved it like the Queen was like. Can you put some up on the on thethrone, CET ER on stage, and I was like? Can I do that and she's? Like sure Iwas like okay, you know it's like. Let's do it so it's like. I ended upgetting flowr like like leliterally all over that fair grounds like you canalways find me by following the trail of flowers like that was one of myfavorite parts to play was Mary Mayham and also there's a couple big rocks outthere at the at the entrance of the fair and my hands. Ere Full Flower, soI put my handprints on the Rock and they actually baked in, and I believethey're still there to this very day like I definitely have to get back upthere. It's like, hopefully, you know after quarantine, is over, like I knowit shut down like so many of the runistace fairs the season, but you never now it's like still keepit still, keeping hopeful and everything. So, okay. So it's likegoing off the renaissance, fair Righe, it's like that's where my love forimprove came now, I'm like no professional, Improv artist or anythinglike that. I don't think anybody's a pro I mean. Maybe me, maybe you knowlike Halla mockery like somebody like that is like a total, you know pro, butI just love doing it. I love not knowing what the scene is. I love justnot. You know seeing what's going to...

...fly off the top of my head, whichbecomes like the funniest moments, because you don't realize sometimeswhat's coming out of your mouth, but the audience is like cracking up andyou' like a crap hut. What the hell did. I just say that was so funny. You knowit's like that's why a lot of times I starte videotaping my comedy, becausewhen I'm up there like at the microphone, I was like, I can't hearanything it's like so weird, but probably like in between. Like theTimes of like doing Improv and renaissance fairs, like I did get backinto theater, I started doing like a lot of murder mysteries with theinhouse players, which was great. I had distioned forthem. Probably months before I had gotten thecall, and I was like okay, you know whatever I wasn't their type, you knowthere wull be something else coming along along the way. I never really got to many theaterparts. I guess maybe because I'm short and chunkior or something I don't know.Some places like to have like this whole image thing, and I just was itfor a lot of places, but I never gave up hope. So I get this call one dayfrom the director Dodi, who was an awesome raider and has let her scriptout to be performed by other companies right now, since she's no longer doingthem, bi remember getting a call and she's like Hi Christine. This is duty.It's like you came in audition for the enhouse players like months ago, and Iwas like yeah. I remember that and she's like whell we're doing the showand we want to know if you're available, Ou Bein it, and I was like sure I cando that and I was like when are rehearsals and she's like now, and I'mlike now. I was like okay. Where are they so she gave me? You know theaddress or whatever so I came in and I picked up a script and it was for ashow. The KG CAJING CAPER was my first one with them and they were already in rehearsals,obviously, for months their lead back down. I think it was health issues orsomething, but she had backed out and I decided towhat what I didn't decide to. I was actually just cast m one of the otherplay. I can't talk today. It's great, Iforget how to talk. This is we're doing this by myself, so yeah, one of the other cast member, stepped up to the the lead role, obviously becauseshe knew it and she was there for all the rehearsals which was cool so Iwasbought in on this part, I played detective of Teresa Capelli, which was awesome like getting to playdetective. It's like Oh yeah, you know so I grabbed a script. They werealready going through blocking and everything, and I just stepped intothat that was like on a Sunday I believe, and then their next rehearsalwas on Tuesday and by Tuesday ihad everything memorized and I rememberedmost of the blocking and the director she loved that, and you know it's like. I really stepped up becauseI believe, like later that week or the next day, wewere doing like photos forlike the newspaper or something and then like the following weekend. We didthe show it was like Big Bang Boom, so it's like ever since then. She a me dolike probably like maybe six or seven other murder, mysteries and one of well.One of them was in murder, mystery SANA and the psychiatrist was 't a murdermystery, but THATWUSD actually be funny if it was a mystery. So if we thinkabout that, so that got really my theater, you know a theater bloodpumping again, which I was ecstatic for, and then I did some other theaterproductions in between and now it like, maybe about three years ago, three,four years ago I got into doing voiceovers. Now I love doing cartoonsar I love yeah. I love doing cartoons. Okay, we're going to go that route.Okay, wow, okay, we're going to need...

...some sound effects in here. YOU KNOW:Wait! Wa! We new choice! Now, that's an Improv thing, but now now I forgot where I was going.Okay here we go okay. So yes, all these shows they got my blood pumping andthen, a few years ago there we voiceover Os Awere, okay, it'so I'llcomn. Back to me, this quarantines got my brain, going all differentdirections. You know having Abd, isn't bad enough, so it's like I'm just telling it as itis so yeah, okay, okay, I started doingvoiceovers about three four years ago. My first roll was density of GlobalGuardians. Now a first like reading it like okay, I'm dust Lekic as hell, so Ialways thought it was dense da destity, not density, and even my cousin John,who was part of the show he thought it was density also and the guy that rotathe's like okay, guys guys guys guys it's density, not destiny. I was likeOh my gosh. We are both like totally dyslexic. I was like this is great toknow. You know it runs of the family. Apparently, but I started doing globalguardians. I did like four episodes and a couple different sound checks.They're like working on like a wholethred thing right now, so that'sdefinitely going to take some time but yeah so global guardians we have where I played density and I just lovedit. It was like Sitt in space and everything and sometimes reading thescript or would be like these really really really long. Words and I'd sayto my cousin, John, I was like dude. How do you pronounce that and he's?Like? I don't know I was going to ask you I was like: Will you pronounce itfirst, because I don't want to sound like an idiot and he's like no way youpronounce it first. I was like no way it's like you do it, but it was like sofunny because a couple, I think, one time we got together and we wrote ourlines together and we must have like twelve hours of outtakes and like legit,like two minutes worth of actual voice, O Verson, which was fun. I meanit's great like when you have like your own home studio. You coan be as Jerkyas you want and you could waste as much time as youwant as long as the final product is there and it's in you know it's therebywhenever it has to be in, like I'm Guessi like studio time, if we did thatprofessionally wed probably be fired in like five minutes, but it's like afteryou know, density like sometime it passed for a voiceovers like I reallyreally want to do voice overwork. I love watching cartoons. I guess they'recalled animated series. Now I don't want to offend anybody. You know exactly so yeah. I loveanimated series, but growing up in the s we called those things. Cartoonsmaybe see Athol cartoones, like family guy and like archer, maybe they'recalled animated series and maybe kids ones are still card called cartoons. Idon't know Fanbey had hits information or can set me straight about that. It'slike. I definitely don't want to offend anybody, so yeah on ward. You know onGer upwork with voiceovers, and then I was carous for another show. I believeit was called firehouse dogs. I think it's still in the making, like I reallyhaven't heard anything I know my cousin John was cast as part. Is that part ofthat to I checked that checked it out on stage thirty to the other day, itlooks like it's still up and going, but we haven't gotten any scripts orcharacters or anything. So I'm going to still be hopeful for that one, and then there was when we were when Iwas going out to be a guest at San, Diego Comican. We have a layoer flightthat was in Georgia at the Atlata airport, and I get this message on mytwitter Instara, no instagram instagram who's, this one girl. She was lookingfor a voice over artist and she actually lived like in the area ofAtlanta, and I'm like this would be awesome. She's like have you ever donelike an evil queen before and I was like I haven't, but I would love to tryand you know, let me eat you, my...

...precies. I don't know what that is know,that's a horrible thing now, don't ever let me do that in et, but that was just getting into that. Ihaven't picked up anything in a while. I sent her over some demos. I knowsometimes things take a while, especially like doing themindependently. So you know it's like I don't hold my breath or anything or youknow waiting for like Med paychecks to come in you know it's like I've got toget serged somewhere, but there's you know there's the time where you drawthe line like no. I need to get paid down. You know I don't do anything forfree, but well right now. You know if I knew somebody that was doing someanimations, you know maybe thirty second cliffs or a minute or I'll, takeany job I can get. So if you're looking for vaceovers, pleasekeep me in mind, then the next PAC sover went to. I guess I was a couple acouple months ago, maybe a month, maybe a month ago, now a couple months beforethe holidays. I do the voice of Missica Rabbit forthe show Bubidos, which is like really like it's an awesome animation. I loveit. I love it. I can't wait to get some more scripts in and work more on that, Mr Carabbit, what can I say about mycharacter? Well, she's a rabbit, I believe she's she's, a fighter which islike really really cool, and she just has like this. This power taller and Ijust want to keep doing more of those script. So if you're listening Bumbidos,I am ready for more scripts while we're in quarentine not doing anything. But you know, of course, once they liftquarantine like eight million scripts are going to come in and then I'll beback to rehearsals for Mut. You do about nothing and then 'll be show timelike Bam, but other than that. Okay, speaking ofthings, my latest theater production will be what you do about nothing. Yes,it is a shakespeare you play, but we have our set in the time period is n ns in Florida, so it's really really cool and the Director Ryan. He has beenamazing through, like this whole Quarantein wee've been actually doingrehearsals over zoom, which, if you haven't heard about it, if WEU're notzooming by now, it's like you know, Itas like get on the bandwagon, but nowhe's really really cool. Like he's really like, he really wants the showto go on and everything and the cans members are just amazing, like we did acouple of rehearsals and before the whole quarantine, so getting to knowthe cast members- and most of these are people that I've never worked withbefore and I just love their energy sounds like that's what I will be doingafter quarantine, I'm hoping our show deets were for the beginning of June. Ithink the fourth fifth and six- that's probably changed now. I'm hoping it'slater in June, wouldn't mind if it was pushed toSeptember, but that's you know kind of overkill in the summertime, but I'mstill O, I'm I'm not leaving it. I love it. I have three parts an then I'm notabout to abandon ship. It's like I love them. It's like. I have a couple smallroles and then I play the part of Fire Francis and I am really looking forwardto doing that role so right if you're listening, I am still with you. It'slike. I still want to do this. U Other than that, it's like doingstandup comedy! I just got into doing that a year ago, which I can't believe it already thatI've done. You Know Open wifes and I've done paid shoes, and I want to do somemore podcast. I know my brains a little messed up right now, but if anybody outthere wants me to do a podcast with them for them whatever it's like yeahhit me up, I'm definitely wanting to do that, but I love the crowd. I reallyreally missed. Don't stand up comedy. I miss the crowd and thisslaughter. Iwould do like more videos and stuff like that. I guess I did you know acouple short ones on like tick, tock or...

...something or maybe I'll, throw a couplejokes on instagram, but it's not the same without the crowd same with doingimproblike. I know I'm going crazy and I'm hoping you know it's like Maddie.If you're listening to this, let's start a twitch channel, let's startzooming. Let's start, you know a couple: Let's just do a couple things. Maybeten fifteen minutes long, I was speaking to jared who's with unity.Theater troop yesterday, we've done Improvan we've also done alarameproject together and yeah. He came up with a great suggestion. You know I w'slike whon't. We just do it, for you know like ten or fifteen minutes likedo a little kind of like a preci preset like wewould know what was alreadygoing on like the Games and stuff that we would play so then we could justjump right inti. So I'm definitely all for that. So Iguess this is why, like my acting biography, I don' really know if youcall us an acting biography or not. Since I just kind of like I just like talk my way through apodcast by myself, I was like okay. I think I can ramblon for like twentyminutes. I think it's been about thirty. So yes, this is my biography. I'll dothe short run through right now, Lik I was born and raised in South Jersey. Ihave relatives in Connecticut. Wor Se met a lot of my childhood. I have been back there in a long time,though, but yes morn a raise in South Jersey, I'm totally in the theaterimprov comedy podcast and with the arts. I do graphics. I dologos. I went to school for that, so I have my ba for all that which is likeliterally useless, because all the programs have like either diminished ortotally upgraded, but I really Goet at photo shop. So, okay, let me try thisbiography thing again. Okay, so I was born and raised in South Jersey fromthe age of a child. I was, I was an only child. I like to you know, make myown games up and just be the center of attention. Sothat's how, like the whole acting bugin got started. I did a good chunk ofperforming inqhuires. My favorite, you know. likewuage is a singin or kybrewLatin and Italian, followed by English, I' love to act. I've done commercials.I've done theater. I've done filmmaking formaking is another chunk that I totally missed on. Oh Wow, like okay y okay, sono the biography thing is all over the place. Like my comedy, it's add, it'scompletely add and filled with add. So, if you're still listening, I applaudyou. So it's like filmmaking was anotherpart of it. I G started about. Ten years ago I was in my first film calledterror at ten acres, where I met my fiance Mike, I think we have the mostinteresting of. How did you meet stories met on the set of a horrormovie, which I don't know how many people can actually say that, but then,from there we had from our own yew filmta. We did film, we formed our owncompany. Today we are a maiden star entertainment and we also film undertrigger treat films and one last breath of productions. Right now we have afilm and is for Malificent it's over in London and Germany, so it makes usinternational, which is amazing, so yess I do foll making as well sookay Le'm, try, try biography again biography and what's the minute, okay Christino, I'mfrom South Jersey. I like to act. I like to draw I like to do our I lovehim Prof. I love comedy here I am there. It is. This is beast coming to. Youlive almost live from my quarantine, Man Cave here inBeautiful Jersey shore, where it's very quiet, it's very...

...unlike it usually is and probably thesame thing where you are, even though we're trying to keep our shows topicalso that they have that ever green quality. We have decided the subject this weekwould be biographies since beauty and I are separated by the miles. That'sright. Some people are social, distancing, six feet apart and we'redoing it about six miles apart. But if beauty already did that joke, Iapologize I'm not sure what order our bios are going to be aired on this.Addition of the beauty in the beast show number ten,if you're counting so next week when we do show number elevenif you're counting you might have to take off one of your shoes in socks, soyou can count to eleven, because that's right, the next show will be numbereleven, Mr Obvious. Meanwhile, what are you doing? How areyou doing how you keeping busy some people are going through consumerism,withdraw there's just so used to having everything they want as soon as theywant it that the minute they cannot. They want everything even worse. Theywant things they didn't even want before, and I know I'm being encouraged tosupport my local restaurants and help keep them open and by give cards fromthem that I'll use in the future and I'm trying. But if I supported all thelocal businesses, restaurants, that are still open in my area, I would go broke and then what would Ido? How would I feed myself? I would call them up and say: Hey eknow, the past few weeks in quarantine, I've been rordering stuff from you. Youcan have some free food they'd, be like no same thing with the liquor stores. Now, I'm lucky in my little hamlet,there are actually seven countem, seven liquor stores this. This place set theJersey shore, hair of Ventner New Jersey. It's like I don't know two miles wide by two miles. Why thereare seven liquor stores, that's right, no waiting everything you need. We haveit so so strange to see people gettingready and preparing for the quarantine in other states standing in line of thestate store- and you know ready to throw down over thelast bottle of crown royal that ain't happening here. Folks, all the all the cigarettes, booze and scratchoff lotter tickets- that you want are here not says you can get here now.Of course, the highways are shut down unless that's essential, apparentlyessential means buying food going to the pharmacy or going to thedoctor. Everything else is not essential, and yet people are havingcorona virus parties. Who are these people? Now the state police are going in onbusting up coronavirus parties, and you know we used to have partiesthat were off the chain set. The place on fire cops, never came now, they'recoming just because you're standing too close to each other and of course youare spreading the covid nineteen. That's hef course, what's oneverybody's mind that and making the next viral tick,Tock, video, apparently other social platforms or just explodedwith angst- and you know just just playin nastiness andI'm not surprised that the many people...

...who are still using any opportunity todivide us as Republicans versus Democrats or just US versus them. You know, and ofcourse all the scams have started the scams where they're going to call yourgrandma and get her bank account and routing number, because they're goingto help get her stimulus check to her faster or hey. Maybe they alreadymailed it to her, even though he package wasn't actually approved,here's your check, grandma. You should rush and put it in the bank. Oh, wegave you more than we were supposed to just send us the rest back. So that's how that's going, no matter what the crisis, no matter,what is happening, no matter how badly off people are, there's always someonewilling to take advantage of them, and I guess in a way I was one of thosepeople. But you know it was legalized for me, because I was selling timelifebooks and shit like that and yeah a lot of telemarketes calling menow. One guy called and told me that theoffer that someone had made me on my car. He was willing to double thatoffer and the strangest thing was in fact. Yes, I had had my car up for salebecause we' going through some tough times where I need little money to move and I was going to sell my car and Iput it on Craig's list and as soon as I hit the submit button, I opened theflood gates of looniness just the amount of crazy fucking people whocalled me about the car asked me every kind of detail with, not even any youknow they weren't even going to buy the car. They just wanted to talk and theywent to ask stupid questions or tell me what they knew about an eighty onecadillac. So you know I knew that was going tohappen, but this guy's going to give me twice as much and, of course I'm like,oh well, maybe jus legit. Maybe he saw the ad and he's like now it was bullshit. He wanted to sell me. A extended service contract extend toservice contract on on one thousand nine hundred and eighty one car, I'mlike that's a stretchbrow ndthen he's like well, what's wrong with it, and Itold him you know I went down the list likeghostbusters new radiator, new shocks, new tires new plugs I's, like he's just went on and on out,and I did find some rust oer the weekend that I have to work on. But youknow it's nothing, that's not manageable. It's certainly somethingthat myself I do plan to hold on to the car. So you know I will put that moneyin, but the this guy you know just out of the blue. These are what thesepeople do. These are what Taro readers do fortune tellers. They just read it.They just play you. They just get you to say yes to something, and that leadsto the next. Yes and, of course, scam artist. The peoplewho are the smartest they're, the ones who think nobody could take advantageof me and I can see right through a scam and sometimes they are the oneswhou get taken the worst. So you know keep that in mind that thescames are on the rise of course, but then other things that are on therise are people's anger or their temperatures. They their anked their misgivings. They don't know when their next checkis coming. They're, not sure if they're going to have food so think thateverybody should try to do what they can to help their neighbors if possible. And yet, if you are one of the peoplewho went out and bought eight giant jumbo thirty pack, you know toiletpaper that enough to build a small fort...

...for your child to play. In you know, people know that now they'veseen your face and it's been, it's been entered into a database. They were taking pictures of everyonein check outline and they have basically have already said. Okay, youknow this person is one of those types and you'll get recruited for somethingat some point, you'll receive an anonymous email that you will havekeywords in it that are engineered to make you click the yes button, but hey people who hoarded and whoactually took product out of other people's hands, including my grandma.You know there's a special place for you in hell. If there is a place inhell for anyone, because a lot of people are telling meit's right now, buddy, so yeah we're just hanging out inisolation. I have made some trips out, of course, was lucky enough today to take a roadtrip, but I have credentials the the fieldthat I do work in full time when I'm not doing this fabulous podcast andtrying to entertain you with my wit and sarcasm, I'm actually providing a service in mylocal county. It's crazy. I know after all, these years after all these crazyyears of marketing everything, including a sneakers, you know actually have an awesomemission and I'm helping people and so dant Denada. I'm given a letter that I'm essential personnel but thethe thing I was doing today was it's been a long long, hard start to the newyear. For us, that's got nothing to do with Corona. IRUS has to do with the fact that apartmentwe were renting for seven years, since the hurricane seendy days was basically our landlord sold herhome, her marble mansion Dan Ta Datan with Rodirn Gates. She sold that palace and now decided toshe's Gonno, slum it and move into our apartment. So like the last thing I wanted to dowas start the year getting invicted. So you know we fled, packed up and put someself in storage,which is crazy. You know having to pay for a space to put stuff.You own really really helps put a a e realvalue on it right versus the insurance value, and second, is the you knowhundred bucks a month, but you know in the meantime, we got kicked out of ourapartment, my family and I all our pets wereliving temporarily and en air being bet and beautiful, ventnor on doorsetAvenue, where there's very little traffic, but the street lights arestill very bright. We are living there now temporarily,but today our essential business was to go look at a place up in a wonderfulmystic island and hopefully find a new place to live, because we're veryanxious to get into settled into a new place that we can call our own. So wecan hang to pictures on the walls and plant the day lilies and do all those normal things thathomeowners do so that was our trip today. That wasour essential business and it was cleared by the governor. That's right,the governor said: If you're in the process of finding an apartment ormoving, you are doing something essential and God damn it. If it wasn'ttrue, that is essential, because we don't want to be here muchlonger. The thing is: we live in a...

...sleepy, little short town most of thetime, but it gets invaded in the summer by tourists. You know no matter whatyou want to call them. We have a lot of derogatory terms for them. Those termsare regional, so they change depending on what bridge people are coming from. Basically, in our area, we use the derogatory term. Shebesshoebes is what we call our tourists who come and invade our town and treatust like shad and have no patience and acts so entitled and Walk Out Indtraffic against the light and ride their bikes against the traffic, andjust do all that stupid shit. That shobis do that's what we call Hem Shebes. Now the theory of Shoebes I'm going to sitfor for the record here. You can Google, it I'm sure, but there are actually two two explanations for the derogatoryterm of Shebes. There may be more. I don't know these are the two that I've been toldto decide on, which is the true one. THATI'll leave that up to you, thefirst one is the fact that when tourist would arrive from Philadelphia ontrolleys and trains, they were so excited to be at the beach, many ofthem having never seen the ocean before that they would walk right on to thebeach with their shoes still on, and so you could always tell somebodywho had just arrived because they were standing at the shoreline staring off at the ocean, but stillfully clothed with their shoes on so there's the term shoebees. The other explanation for thisderogatory term shoebes, I prefer out of townters, but if I see you have a New YorkYankees cap on I'm walking across the block there walking going across thestreet, especially with the COVID nineteen, if you're from New York. I don't wantto see you round here, but you know I'll welcome you in the fall after theplague is over. So the other explanation for the wordshoebes is similar that tourists who were arrivingon trains from Philadelphia. So that's one thing: Hasnin commonatepeople coming into town. The tourists who took the train fromphilly would be sold a boxed lunch and that was boxed in a shoe box, so I getto get a sandwich and they get an apple and theyd gettheir shoebox lunch and they would show up at the boardwalk and they would eatthese lunches. They were given on the train ride down out of a shoe box. Sothat's how you could tell a tourist. They were eating their lunch out of ashoe box, so Dan Dantan, the mystery, continues. You decide the the truorginothe word, Shoebe, write your beauty and the beasts, and you can tell us what you think isthe real deal with the word Shoebes, and you can also tell us your favoritecolloqwuelism for out of towners. Meanwhile, there's not a whole lot ofthose right now we're getting to the point where you know the police canpull you over right now and ask you what essential business you're on willofficer. I was buying pot. Actually, noboty is they're standing inline at the dispensaries and yeah. It's a pretty tough time lucky for us. We have some little bodagas and Delisand grocery stores that are sort of under the radar. So if you don't wantto go to the big box chain and deal...

...with the crowds, but I have to say personally that sincethe pandemic started and the hysteriathat has seemed to have dieddown at the store- it's especially true, I guess, since somany employees who ere working in those stores and now testing positive, sohe's like yeah. We got to get some more toilet paper Margh. Well, you go Harrybecause you know three of the cashiers hadcovid. Okay, dear, let me go so you know there is that there is someterrible news here in New Jersey that covid is showing up in the nursing homes. Ninety three of them Oo, like four hundred, have got it. So you know it's a sad thing, becausethese people pass and not going to get to see their family except on. You know some robots face.Maybe I don't know, but the one thing you can do to combatthis illness is turn off the TV a little bit. I know you're listening here, maybetrying to get away from it all, but turn all the podcast off and if you'rehaving trouble sleeping turn all that stuff off two hours before we even trios go to sleep, there's crazy stuff going on here like silence, like totalfucking silence, it's crazy. Now I grew up in the middle of nowhere. I swoar toGod it was four cornfields and a blinking light on the quietest nights. When the starsfilled the sky, you could hear truck shifting gear like five miles away onthe side of the mountain, and you know so. I'm used to it. A lot of people arenot for a lot of people. This silence is giving them time to think and if',not thinking than they're bidch watching Tiger King- and I must say I'mhappy this- that I've not been tainded by tiger king, yet not seeing oneepisode seen plenty of memes, but I have had two pop eyes: ChickenSandwiches, that's right, no tiger king, but I have had two count: Em, two pop eyes: Chicken sandwiches so popeyes, chicken sandwiches. If you're out there. I love you more than Tiger King now, as I was mentioning earlier. Th All theliquor stores here are are open and so in support of them I've been buyingsome es, you know, and some of those Tawboy inglings and what the heck I have not been buying any scratchoffs.In fact, I'm very, very disappointed with the state of online gambling. Youknow we were doing some sports betting there online, William Hall, going tothe Casin House and we were making some money because hey we were picking someteams. We were. We were following some hunches. We were doing some research.We were playing some wild parleys. We were having fun but there's no more baseball footballbasketball, an nothing, nothing to bet on I'm watching fucking, marble runraces on Youtube. That's how just just how awful the the sports scene is notthat I'm a sports fan, but it was a just decent distraction and it was, it was fun to bet it wasfun to bet on Sports. So so now that there's no sports, becausewe were all doing so good and hey, we were actually making money becausethere were odds- and there was this and there was that and yeah. You got fuckedby half a point every now and then, but you were able to actually win something and be happy. No, no, no l you can do online.Gambling is pull a stupid slap machine or playRublett whatever...

...and and fuck that I mean those are jump.Those are soccer games. I do know a man, who's called thewizard of odds, he's been on the gambling scene in Atlantic city fordecades, and he recommends, if you're, going to gamble, play the video pogermachines, O video poker machines, have the best payouts of any game in the casino and he oughto know and he's been in enough high rollerclubs to have a valid opinion about it. Unlike myself, although I havecertainly won more money playing video poker games than I have playing slatmachines, but I have made more money playingblack Jack than both of those combineg, but none of those compared to thesports. Bending it was awesome, it was so awesome, but now, like I said, there's no there's no racing andthere's nothing to be bet on. I guess there is. I mean I got ta dig a littledeeper, there's, always something that somebody's taking a bet on. I hope you're, not bending on thenumbers, though folks, the the numbers of the deaths from thisterrible disease. It's nothing to laugh at because I guess there's just not been enoughtime yet or I haven't thought of anything. Well,okay, I'm sorry! I do have some covidmaterial, I'm sorry! I'm really! Sorry! I know if that guy's here with the withthe rim, shots beauty's got her rim shots happening,but I was just thinking about how you know this generation. Now it's Goingto be like Oh baby. You know,I love you so much I'll get within six feet of Yo, honest, honest girl. I justwant to touch your face. You know she's, like Oh, you brute you brute, and I'mworried that you know people are going to be calling a consance he's invadingmy personal space. He came within three feet. O me. I can't deal with it. You know, and people wearing masks skind of kind of creepy and I guess fuck that social facial recognition softwarethere huh it's not going to do much with your wearing mass, so that's kind of an upside of it at the at the same time. You know youcan make some fashion statements with some of these things and you can youcan wear your mask but rap a scarf. So you stylish, you know, there's different, there'sdifferent things to do. I was thinking. Maybe I could solicitsome porn stars to sell me their panties tha that could be made intomasks and I can sell those for a lot of money on Ebay. You know I'm saying some old perve would definitely buysome covid nineteen mask that was made from some porn star, priestessespanties. I think I could make a lot of money like that. I'm trying to think ofdifferent things. I can do to make money during the crisis. I'm thinking,maybe once a month shave my back hair and that can be woven into deailes,maybe or little yamicas. I don't know I'm just trying to be entrepreneurialbased on the current crisis. Everybody still got to have a side hustle going in this day, especially so w thought we'd take some time to dosome biographical material, and I think I probably fail to do any so. Mymission here is complete, and I do want to thank you. If you havetuned in to listen to this rambling comudic area that we present to youwant a semiregular basis.

If you haven't gotten a chance yet tolisten to our the best of our bitch show. Please do so because, apparently,that's the best stuff we have- and you know we're trying to churn out somemore. We are trying to do things differently,especially because of this current situation. We'rein. So beauty haspromised me that, even with my feeble tech skills, we can do some kind of askipe podcast. Otherwise we just are going to try andwing it, because that's all any of us can do right now, the less expectationsyou have about when this is going to be resolved and what you're going to doabout it, probably the better. Even if it's just for a few days so take sometime to disconnect because it'll just do you a world of good, take your timeto give yourself a mental break, reach out to talk to people who you love andwho will support you, not people who are going to upset you, even though, ifyou have some friends who are right now are feeling like they're on the edgehelp them anyway, that you can, because we don't want other things totake them out. You know, in addition to the virus, because a lot of people have a lot ofmedical problems right now and they're going to need a lot of help. They mightneed some food. They might just need a kind word because they're not gettingany hugs. Even the most introverted of people are feeling some of the pangs ofnot being connected. Other ones have trained for this forever they're goodto go. They had toilet peoper long before it was an issue and then there's other people who areusing antique sears catalogs are buying off Ebay,which people are using those they use them a page. At a time there'sAnougstalgia Valu O. Do you think this is what great grandfather did in theouthouse and also, of course, comic books? You know you can usually buy thosethree for a dollar in lots and you can read those and then wipe your ass withthem. One page at a time, pretty cool if you haven't, read a Comin Fook in awhile, it's a Tufer. So I'm going to sign off and thank you for listening. This isthe beast another thing hat I forat to put in there. I am a cost player. I'vebeen CASS playing for about four years. Now it's been totally great. I MissDoing comicons pretty much. Everything has been cancelled right now. I am looking forward to though it'sstill on it's the ocean city Maryland Comacad, all right, that is in December,and it's going to be coming out now wha about the costplay. When I go to events,not only do I sell autocraft photos, but I also sell a lot of my art work,which is great and actually that's a great place to meet people in everyone.So, let's get right back into the piography, so what am I doing to keepmyself busy through this plague through everything, crazy? I've created a newcomic, it's called well Albenan and it's just features pretty much else andwere plays on words like the first episode is actually entitled Hooters. Please check me out on Sappasticcom II,illalways, post the links and everything for everything, but yeah.It's just two hours like the first episode is hooters and it starts outwith one now and one hooter is good, and that goes to the next thing tohooters are better and then it finishes...

...with well ill, be damned and that'slike the whole punch light. So whatever happens in this comic, the punchlinewill always be. Will iwill be damned, so I'm hoping to do that like in maybean animation thing I on't know soon, hopefully. Well, I hope, you're doingyour part in supporting local and independent artist. I know most of us,we have pay PA accounts and Venmos and we have all sorts of merchandise onsale. I know anything that you've see that I've grawn. I can do a digitalprint for only ten dollars. We don't even have to mail it or anything. So ifyou can it's like just look me up at Christine Notoncom we'll drop somelinks below. Thank you. So I'm I hope you all enjoy listening today. So itlooks like our time is up here Dune in next week. As we talk about, I don'tknow, but just Juny, I'm deting and I'M THE BEAST COM.

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