Beauty and the Beast
Beauty and the Beast

Episode 10 · 2 years ago

Episode 10 - Biography


Episode 10 - Biography

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Coming to you almost live from lake side. I'm beauty and I'm the beast and here we go, another episode and we've got beasts on the phone line. He special thanks to beauty. Just wanted to say things for putting the show together, even though the miles separate us, and I did want to take a moment to shout out to my dear old mom, who ended up in the hospital on Monday, and not with the covid nineteen. She actually had a stroke and we're trying to get through to her, because leave it to my mom to go to the hospital during a plague. was something that is not plague related. So more on that and thanks for listening please. He's writ as an email. Drop us the line send us some hate mail. It shouldn't be hard to do with the shit that we say every week. So once again I just wanted to thank beauty for putting together show number ten, show with some biographies, and hope that you enjoy what you hear on this week's beauty and the beast show. Okay, so before we begin, I've just listened to beasts on the telephone and I want to thank him so much for continuing doing this podcast, even though we were six miles apart and not six feet apart, and I also want to, you know, offer my prayers and best wishes to his mother and to his family and anyone else out there who's in need through this hard time. So thank you for being a listener and enjoy the show. Hello and welcome to this week show. This week show will be doing biography, and here's the thing. It's like we're still on quarantine. How are we making the show possible? We are, let's get to it. So right now I'm enjoying my life as a house cat, you know, staying in all the time, taking naps, eating like fifty times a day. I mean, it's great. I mean my coats becoming nice and shiny, but I fear that one day I'm probably going to hack up a hair ball and then I know that that's real. I wonderful cats are like our plan is working to take over the world. The humans are now becoming cats. Here we go. Buckle up, it's going to be a rough ride, but anyway. So here we go with biography. I will take be taking you through the INS and outs of my childhood, which I was born and raised in South Jersey. I'm an only child. I've always enjoyed putting on shows, no matter what they were. I enjoy theater. Theater is my favorite for acting. I've done films, I've done commercials. I would love to do radio. I would love to do voices and gaming. I have not done that yet, but here we are. Let's just get right to this. If you're listening, my biography kind of goes in an add order. So I'm beauty. My real name is Christine Knowlton. I am an actor. I've been acting for,...

I don't know, a few decades now. I think it was back when I did my first commercial. I was, let me think, I was in the eighth grade. It was awesome. It was an environmental commercial where we got to be in canoes, which was great because it was the first time that I was ever in a canoe, so I learned how to paddle. Then that went on. It was actually energy into a competition which we came in second out of the whole United States. It was pretty cool. We won an award. who were on the news, we're in the newspaper and it's actually still being played on njn about recycling. It's it was such a great commercial. People call it my commercial because I had the most footage in it. I guess the camera really liked me that day. It was so much fun. And eighth grade is also where I got into Improv. I remember my eighth grade class. It was pretty pretty cool. We had gotten done all of our assignments early and our teacher said, well, let's go outside and we'll do some Improv and I had no idea what that was at the time and it was like really, really cool because we did this whole goldilocks and the three bears thing and I played goldilocks and we were I was being put on trial because I had broken and entered into the three bears home. It was like it was it was so much fun. It was great. I had to come up with all these reasons, you know. It's like well, I was hungry and how it was cold and I was tired, and you know it. You have no idea how much of an impact things are that will lead into like the rest of your life. Like right now it's like I love doing Improv. That's pretty much like all I want to do besides theater. So it's like going back to that. How I got more into acting and everything. Through high school I really didn't have the acting bug, but I was like really into choir and everything. But I was always into choir. I guess I joined like school choirs like back when I was in fifth grade and it was awesome. So at the age of nine I was with the Oratorio society at stocked in College, and then through high school I continue doing shows with them like handles Messiah and Mozarts Requiem, which is my favorite. If I ever had to pick a language that I love to sing in, like Hebrews number one and followed by Latin and then English. I don't know why. It's like I think the harder language is to speaker actually the most prettiest. I do like Italian also. I forgot to put that into the mix. So I guess this is kind of like like my biography of how I really got into acting. But then after high school went on, I started taking professional vocal lessons, which got me onto a whole bunch of telethons, which was amazing. I loved it. I also did dance at the time. I did TAP, jazz, ballet, rhythmic anything that was like thrown at me I just did. It was just so much fun. I was had a blast in the classes and one day my vocal teacher was like there's like this pageant going on the moll. It's like you should totally you know, go in and do singing, just do the talent portion. I was like Nah, man, I'm put off. I'm I'm too old for that, you know. It's like I wasn't really I think I was like early s maybe even not even twenty at the time, but I was like Namd, I'm too old for that. And she's like that, no, just just go to the talent. She's like, I know you can win it. So I went on and I won the talent portion of it, which was amazing. I saw of the trophy and everything and then with a group of people they're once you like when a padget like that, money goes transferred into another pageant and then another pageant. It like really keeps you going. So I did quite a few talent ones, which I ended up winning, and then from there on, somebody suggested.

They're like well, well, you go out for, you know, beauty and a few of a few of the other categories that they have, and I was kind of put off because I was still like no, no, no, I'm still too old for this. I'm still, you know, I'm not slim in any way or shape or form, but they're like now, just, you know, go up and do it, and I'm like okay, you know whatever. So I tried it and I went I ended up winning. So it's like I ended up actually hanging onto one of my titles, which was from Miss Hemisphere. I had that for a couple of years. I don't think they do any pageants anymore. I won that one. I Won Jersey Short idol and Miss Jersey shore idol, which I believe those two were like want and done. So I'm guessing in the world those pageantry I still hold those titles because I was the last one to win them. I don't know what happens really like after they're done, but yeah, it's like okay. From there I went to my first Renaissance Fair, which I know if beast was herey'd be like, Oh yeah, one time at were in fair, like know this, this really happened. It's like I went there my friend Christine at time, my best friend. She's like yeah, my family goes every year. Sounds like I went up with her and it was awesome, like especially, like if you're into like incense and stuff like that, like which we were, you know, as little witches. You know, it was like the perfect place. It was like, Huh, you know, not only did they have great food, but the entertainment was like spectacular, and I was like, I feel I felt like I was being back to my own home plane and I guess if you would call it so, it's like I went up just for one day and it got me hooked there and I was like, you know what, I was like, this is really, really cool. There's like actually this one act, the Looney Lucy and ploppy show. I don't know if they still perform or not. I don't think they're at the Pennsylvania one anymore, but their show was hysterical. It was like adult, like adult like comedy and everything, and my friend Christine and I she's like, Oh, we should, you know, we should get over there early and get a seat because their shows always fill up. So we're like, okay, you know, let's go out. You know, we're kind of hungry, and so we ended up getting frozen banana on a stick, which was like the best because it was chocolate dipped so we go over and we were like front row. Were like the first people there and we're trying to, I think, either put on our jackets or take them off. I can't remember. It was like the fall time, so it was probably one of those days where it was warm and then it was cold and then it was warm it was cold. I'm getting to the point. I've turned into Ros n island here from the Golden Girls. Yes, there was a point to the story. So we're there and everything, yet either putting on her jackets or taking them off whatever. So we both, you know, shoved our bananas in our mouths and you know, of course said that that paints a great picture, you know, especially when you're waiting for an adult show. So I remember Looney Lucy and ploppy getting there early and they were like they're like yeah, you know, it's like you spit, don't swallow, and then throughout like the entire show, like they just pretty much like riffed golf of me and Christine while we were eating our bananas, frozen chocolate covered bananas, at their show, and it was just like the funniest thing it was. I was like this is like amazing. I was like I want to live here. So that really, you know, started my conquest on the renaissance fairs. Go I started going to them, I guess I should say and two thousand, but I believe one thousand nine hundred and ninety nine was the first one that I had actually went to. But in the year two thousand I was like, you know, this is fun. You know, I've got my license, I've got a car, I can just go. You know, it's like three hours from here, but it was like nothing like back then. You know, your kid you're all palms like yeah, three hours, you know, three hours, you know, party for like ten hours and then drive...

...three hours back. Not a problem. It was great. But I remember being there in two thousand and one of the weekends that they had they had people. It was just your weekend and I believe at that time where I was working, I can only go up like on Sundays or whatever, which was cool. I I only way. I guess I start going in the fall because the summer was just, you know, hot and blazing. Even in August it's still really hot up there in Pennsylvania. So it was just your weekend and I remember people were lining up to tell the Queen, you know, joke or whatever, a jest as they called it, and a lot of people, of course, you know, my mind gives the dirty track and I just walk like right up to her and I told her this dirty joke. I can't remember what it was. I will bring this up in another episode. Maybe this is where the how my comedy got started as well. Maybe it started way ahead of time and I just didn't realize it. But anyway, so I go up and I tell her dirty joke and she just she looks at me at first and then she starts cracking up and then her whole court starts cracking up, with the ladies and waiting and everything like that, and she's like, you know, would you like to join me the following weekend to be a lady in waiting and training, and I was like sure, that would be great. You know, it's like I can only come on Sundays because of work or whatever. So it's like I came back up, you know, as many Sundays as I could and I learned like so much stuff. It was great. Like I got to help be in charge of the great contest, the great tossing hottest, which was during wine weekend. That was awesome. I got to be up there near the Queen's throne for like the chess match and everything like that. I learned which side not to stand on, because if you stand on the wrong side and the cannon goes off, it is in your ear and then you just go deaf. So I learned the hard way. But what's really ironic this year is the person who played the Queen in two thousand her name was Vanessa. She is actually back as queen this year and I would like to at least go up there one weekend and, you know, tell, tell another dirty joke. But that was like really fun, so I guess that like got me more into renaissance fairst. So then just kept going like every year, to where I eventually bought up a season pass and then finally I was able to join and everything, and then I traveled a bit with the Nottingham players, which was an amazing piece because there's no other show like that in the world. I'm not sure if they still perform or not, but if you've ever heard of the Nottingham players and you've caught their sets, they are amazing. I mean the director, Curtie, he's he's just he's one of kind, really he is. If I had the chance to work with him again, it's like I would dump on that train. I was like, I would like leave everything and just go, you know. Well, I would take Mike with me, though he definitely has to come. But anyway, it's like I got to travel with them for a bit and like I learned so much. Like usually I've done like nobility, like at the Pennsylvania Renaissance Fair. It's like I've really never done like peasant work or anything like that. But when I was part of the not in hand players, I actually got to play Mary Mayhem, which her father was the owner of the flour mill, and I had this awesome like Calindar thing colinder thing. It was one that held flower and a sifter. That's what it was, and it was it was a modern one, but it was perfect enough to use for renaissance period because, you know, it wasn't electronic or anything like that. So it really went with my character and I had like so much fun, especially at the Connecticut Renaissance Fair. Here we go again, this one time at rent fair. Goshold beast with here right now. He would be...

...having a ball he would probably be getting me to tell all the naughty bits about it, but I'm not going to do that right now. But at the Connecticut Renaissance Fair I was a little terror, like I was known as Mary Mayhem. Now what our show evolved was? I can't say too much of it because under sign contract there there are certain things that we can say about it and certain things that we can't, like a lot of behind the scenes stuff. You know, it's like I believe, you know, the director wants this protected and everything, but you know, it's like we would do like the these skits and everything, like we're we would be punished and like we'd be in the stocks and everything like that, and you know, the feet would be out and I remember one time I hit this one girl with the back of the spoon, which makes this awesome slap sound. It really like leaves a little sting, but it really doesn't hurt, but the sound of the slap is just like amazing. Like my little clap didn't even do it justice. It was more of like hold on, here's your ears, for it was like a like but louder, more intensified. Let's just say I did it so hard that the director wasn't at the show at the time. He was back at our camp and he heard that all the way across the Shire and back at our camp. It was like the craziest thing. He was like who in the heck did that? And I was like me and he was like, Oh my God, that was brilliant. But then, like after that run at the Connecticut Renaissance Fair, I wasn't known as Mary mayhem anymore. I was known as Mary Masochist. Yeah, so that took a crazy time. I mean maybe this is where I got my kings from. I mean I really can't say that for sure, but you never know. Like if you add of had all these things up, it's crazy. But yeah, it's like I remember this one. Oh yeah, okay, okay, here we go. I remember this one time at run fair. It was at the Connecticut Renaissance Fair. Like I said, I was going nuts. I love the flower. I would give flower like everywhere, like this one girl, I think her real name was Gina. I can't remember her character's name, but I had flower. She had like a black skirt on and of course I had to be the little bastard at the time that took the flower in my hands and put handprints like right on her butt and she walked, walked around all day like this too, and she didn't notice until someone told her. And like, let me say when she walked around all day. She walked around all day and nobody said or it was great and with the Flower and everything in the Queen loved it. Like the Queen was like, can you put some up on the on the throne set are on stage, and I was like can I do that? And she's like sure. I was like, okay, you know, it's like let's do it. So it's like I ended up getting flower like like literally all over that fair grounds, like you can always find me by following the trail of flowers, like that was one of my favorite parts to play, was Mary Mayhem. And also there was a couple big rocks out there at the at the entrance of the fair and my hands are full flower, so I put my handprints on the Rock and they actually baked in and I believe they're still there to this very day. Like I definitely have to get back up there. It's like hopefully, you know, after quarantine is over, like I know it shut down, like so many of the Renaissance Fair is the season, but you never know. It's like still keep it, still keeping hopeful and everything so okay. So it's like going off the renaissance fair hide. It's like that's where my love for Improv came. Now I'm like no professional improv artist or anything like that. I don't think anybody's a pro. I mean maybe me, maybe, you know like call a mockery, like somebody like that is like a total, you know, pro. But I just love doing it. I love not knowing what the scene is. I love just not, you know, seeing what's going to fly off the... of my head, which becomes like the funniest moments because you don't realize sometimes what's coming out of your mouth, but the audience is like cracking up and you're like crap, but what the hell did I just say? That was so funny, you know. It's like that's why a lot of times I started videotaping my comedy because when I'm up there like at the microphone, I was like I can't hear anything. It's like so weird. But probably like in between like the Times of like doing Improv and renaissance fairs, like I did get back into the theater. I started doing like a lot of murder mysteries with the inhouse players, which was great. I auditioned for them probably months before I had gotten the call and I was like okay, you know whatever, I wasn't there type. You know, there will be something else coming along along the way. I never really got to May theater parts, I guess maybe because I'm short and Chunky or something. I don't know. Some places like to have like this whole image thing and I just was it for a lot of places. But I never gave up hope. So I get this call one day from the director, doughty, who was an awesome writer and has let her script out to be performed by other companies right now since she's no longer doing them. But I remember getting a call and she's like hi, Christine, this is doughty. It's like you came an audition for the inhouse players like months ago, and I was like yeah, I remember that, and she's like well, we're doing the show and we want to know if you're available to be in it, and I was like sure, I can do that. And I was like when a rehearsals and she's like now and I'm like now, I was like, okay, where are they? So she gave me, you know, the address or whatever. So I came in and I picked up a script and it was for a show, the KG caging caper. Was My first one with them, and they were already in rehearsals, obviously, for months. They're lead backed out. I think it was health issues or something, but she had backed out and I decided to. Well, well, I didn't decide to. I was actually just cast one of the other play I can't talk today. It's great. I forgot how to talk. This is weird doing this by myself. So, yeah, one of the other cast members stepped up to the lead role, obviously because she knew it, and she was there for all the rehearsals, which was cool. So I was bought in on this part. I played detective Teresa Capelli, which was awesome, like getting to play detective. It's like yeah, you know. So I grabbed a script. They were already going through blocking and everything and I just stepped into that. That was like on a Sunday, I believe, and then their next rehearsal was on Tuesday and by Tuesday I had everything memorize and I remembered most of the blocking and the director she loved that. And you know, it's like I really stepped up because I believe like later that week or the next day we were doing like photos for like the newspaper or something, and then like the following weekend we did the show. It was like Big Bang, boom. So it's like ever since then she has had me do like probably like maybe six or seven other murder mysteries and one of the well, one of them was a murder mystery. Santa and the psychiatrist wasn't a murder mystery, but there was actually be funny if it was a mystery. So if we think about that. So that got really my theater, you know, theater blood pumping again, which I was ecstatic for, and then I did some other theater productions in between, and now, like maybe about three years ago through four years ago, I got into doing voiceovers. Now I love doing cartoons and I love yeah, I love doing cartoons. Okay, we're going to go with that route. Okay, wow, okay, we're going... need some sound effects in here. You know, late lately, new choice. Now that's an Improv thing. But now, now I forgot where I was going. Okay, here we go. Okay. So, yes, all these shows, they got my blood pumping, and then a few years ago there were voiceovers. Voice over it. Okay, it's all coming back to me. This quarantine's got my brain going all different directions. You know, be having a DD isn't bad enough. So it's like I'm just telling it as it is. So yeah, okay, okay. I started doing voiceovers about three four years ago. My first role was density of global guardians. Now, at first like reading it like okay, I'm dyslexic as hell, so I always thought it was dense destiny, not density. And if my cousin John, who was part of the show, he thought it was density also, and the guy that rode he's like, okay, guys, guys, guys, guys, it's density, not destiny. I was like, oh my gosh, we are both like totally dyslexic. I was like this is great to know. You know, it runs in the family apparently. But I started doing global guardians, I did like four episodes and a couple different sound checks. They're like working on like a whole d thing right right now. So that's definitely going to take some time. But yeah, so global guardians we have where I played density and I just loved it. was like set in space and everything, and sometimes reading the scripture would be like these really, really, really long words and I'd say to my cousin John, I was like, Dude, how do you pronounce it? And he's like I don't know, I was going to ask you. I was like well, you pronounce it first, because I don't want to sound like an idiot, and he's like no way, you pronounce it first. I was like no way, it's like you do it. But it was like so funny because a cup, I think one time we got together and we read our lives together and we must have like twelve hours of outtakes and like legit like two minutes worth of actual voiceover person which was fun. I mean it's great like when you have like your own home studio, you can be as Jerky as you want and you can waste as much time as you want as long as the final product is there and it's in you know it's there by whenever it has to be, it like, I'm guessing, like studio time. If we did that professionally, we'd probably be fired in like five minutes, but like after, you know, density like some time had passed for a voiceover. It's like I really really want to do voice over work. I love watching cartoons. I guess they're called animated series now. I don't want to offend anybody you know exactly. So yeah, I love animated series, but growing up in the S we call those things cartoons. Maybe see a dull cartoons like family guy and like archer. Maybe they're called animated series and maybe the kids ones are still card called cartoons. I don't know if anybody had this information or can set me straight about that. It's like I definitely don't want to offend anybody. So yeah, on word, you know, on weird up work with voiceovers. And then I was cast for another show. I believe it was called firehouse dogs. I think it's still in the making. Like I really haven't heard anything. I know my cousin John was cast as part as that part of that too. I check that. Checked it out on stage thirty two the other day. It looks like it's still love and going, but we haven't gotten any scripts or characters or anything. So I'm going to still be hopeful for that one. And then there's when we were when I was going out to be a guest at San Diego Comic Con, we had a layover for flight that was in Georgia at the Atlanta airport, and I get this message on my twitter instrument, no, instagram, instagram. It was this one girl. She was looking for a voiceover artist and she actually lived like in the area of Atlanta and I'm like this would be awesome. She's like have you ever done like an evil queen before and I was like I haven't, but I would love to...

...try. And you know what, let me eat you my preaties. I don't know what that is. No, that's a horrible thing, you know, don't never let me do that in it. But that was just getting into that. I haven't picked up anything in a while. I sent her over some demos. I know sometimes things take a while, especially like doing them independently. So, you know, it's like I don't hold my breath or anything or, you know, waiting for like mad paychecks to come in. You know, it's like I've got to get started somewhere. But there's you know, there's the time where you draw them line like no, I need to get paid down and you know I don't do anything for free, but well, right now, you know, if I knew somebody that was doing some animations, you know, maybe thirty two clips or a minute or I'll take any job I can get. So if you're looking for voiceovers, please keep me in mine. Then the next voice over went to I guess it was a couple couple months ago, maybe a month and maybe a month ago, no, couple months before the holidays. I do the voice of mrica rabbit for the show boom Whitos, which is like really like it's an awesome animation. I love it. I love it. I can't wait to get some more scripts in and work more on that Mr Rab but what can I say about my character? Well, she's rabbit, I believe she's she's a fighter, which is like really, really cool, and she just has like this power. Tillard, I just want to keep doing more of the script. So if you're listening, boom Edoes, I'm ready for more scripts. While we're in quarantine not doing anything. But you know, of course, once they lift quarantine, like eight million scripts are going to come in and then I'll be back doing rehearsals for what to do about nothing and then I'll be showtime like Bam. But other than that, okay, speaking of things, my latest theater production will be much to do about nothing. Yes, it is a shakespeare play, but we have our set in the time period, is in the S in Florida. So it's really, really cool. And the director, Ryan, he has been amazing through like this whole quarantine. We've been actually doing rehearsals over zoom, which, if you haven't heard about it, if you're not zooming by now, it's like, you know, it's like get on the bandwagon. But now he's really, really cool, like he's really like he really wants to show to go on and everything, and the cast members are just amazing. Like we did a couple of rehearsals before the whole quarantine. So getting to know the cast members, and most of these are people that I've never worked with before and I just love their energy. Sounds like that's what I will be doing after quarantine. I'm hoping our show dates were for the beginning of June, I think the fourth, fifth and sixth. That's probably changed now I'm hoping it's later in June. Wouldn't mind if it was pushed to September, but that's, you know, kind of overkill in the summertime. But I'm still and I'm I'm not leaving it. I love it. I have three parts in that I'm not about the abandoned ship. It's like I love them. It's like I have a couple small roles and then I play the part of Friar Francis and I am really looking forward to doing that role. So, Ryan, if you're listening, I am still with you. It's like I still want to do this, but other than that, it's like doing stand up comedy. I just got into doing that a year ago, which I can't believe it already that I've done, you know, open mics and I've done paid shows and I want to do some more podcast I know my brains a little messed up right now, but if anybody out there wants me to do a podcast with them, for them whatever, it's like, yeah, hit me up. I'm definitely wanting to do that. But I love the crowd. I really really missed doing stand up comedy. I missed the crowd, I miss the laughter. I would do like more videos and stuff like that. I guess I did. You know a couple short ones on like tick tock or...

...something, or maybe I'll throw a couple jokes on Instagram, but it's not the same without the crowd. Same with doing Improv, like I know I'm going crazy and I'm hoping. You know, it's like, Maddie, if you're listening to this, let's start a twitch channel, let's start zooming, let's start, you know, a couple let's just do a couple things, maybe ten fifteen minutes long. I was speaking to jared, who's with the Unity Theater Troupe, yesterday. We've done Improv and we've also done the Laramie project together and yeah, he came up with the great suggestion. You know, it's like, why don't we just do it for you know, like ten or fifteen minutes, like do a little kind of like a prech preset, like we know what was already going on, like the Games and stuff that we would play, so then we could just jump right into hill. So I'm definitely all for that. So I guess this is why I like my acting biography. I really know if you call this an acting biography or not, since I just kind of like I just like talked my way through a podcast by myself. I was like, okay, I think I can Ram along for like twenty minutes. I think it's been about thirty. So yes, this is my biography. I'll do the short run through right now. It's like I was born and raised in South Jersey. I have relatives in Connecticut where I spent a lot of my childhood. I just have been back there in a long time, though. But yes, born a raise in South Jersey. I'm totally into theater, Improv comedy, podcast and with the arts. I do graphics, I do logos. I went to the school for that. So I have my ba for all that, which is like literally useless because all the programs have like either diminished or totally upgraded. But I'm really good at Photoshop. So okay, let me try this biography thing again. Okay, so I was born and raised in South Jersey from the age of a child. I was I was an only child. I like to, you know, make my own games up and just be the center of attention. So that's how like the whole acting bug got started. I did a good chunk of performing in choirs. My favorite, you know, language is a singing our Hebrew Latin and Italian followed by English. I love to act. I've done commercials, I've done theater, I've done filmmaking. Filmmaking is another chunk that I totally missed on. Oh Wow, like, okay, okay, so no, the biography thing is all over the place. Like my comedy, it's add it's completely add and filled with add so if you're still listening, I applaud you. So it's like filmmaking was another part of it. I got started about ten years ago. I was in my first film called terror at ten acres, where I met my fiance, Mike. I think we have the most interesting of how did you meet stories? Met On the set of a horror movie, which I don't know how many people can actually say that. But then from there we had filmed our own. We filmed that, we did film, we formed our own company. Today we are maiden star entertainment and we also film under trigger, treat films and one last breath productions. Right now we have a film and it is for Maleficent. It's over in London and Germany, so it makes us international, which is amazing. So yes, I do filmmaking as well. So, okay, I'm try, try, biography again, biography and less than a minute. Okay, Christine O't I'm from South Jersey. I like to act, I like to draw, I like to do our I love Improv I love comedy. Here I am there it is. This is beast coming to you live, almost live, from my quarantine man Cave here in Beautiful Jersey shore, where it's very quiet. It's very unlike it usually..., and probably the same thing where you are. Even though we're trying to keep our shows topical so that they have that evergreen quality, we have decided that the subject this week would be biographies, since beauty and I are separated by the miles. That's right. Some people are social distancing six feet apart and we're doing it about six miles apart. But if feauty already did that joke, I apologize. I'm not sure what order our bios are going to be aired on this edition of the beauty and the beast show number ten, if you're counting. So next week when we do show number eleven, if you're counting, you might have to take off one of your shoes and socks so you can count to eleven, because that's right. The next show will be number eleven, MR obvious. Meanwhile, what are you doing and how are you doing? How you keeping busy? Some people are going through tumerism withdrawal. There's just so used to having everything they want as soon as they want it that the minute they cannot, they want everything even worse. They want things they didn't even want before. And I know I'm being encouraged to support my local restaurants and help keep them open and by gift cards from them that I'll use in the future, and I'm trying. But if I supported all the local businesses, restaurants that are still open in my area, I would go broke. And then what would I do? How would I feed myself? I would call them up and say, Hey, we know, the past few weeks in quarantine I've been ordering stuff from you. Can have some free food. They'd be like no. Same thing with the liquor stores. Now I'm lucky in my little hamlet there are actually seven, count them, seven liquor stores. This this place at the Jersey shore hair event near New Jersey. It's like, I don't know, two miles wide by, two miles wide, there are seven liquor stores. That's right, no waiting everything you need, we have. It so, so strange to see people getting ready and preparing for the quarantine in other states, standing in line of the state store and, you know, ready to throw down over the last bottle of crown royal. That ain't happening in here, folks. All the all the cigarettes, blue who's and scratch off lottery tickets that you want are here, not's, as you can get here now. Of course, the highways are shut down unless that's essential. Apparently, essential means buying food, going to the pharmacy or going to the doctor. Everything else is not essential. And yet people are having coronavirus parties. Who are these people? Now the estate police are going in on busting up coronavirus parties, and you know, we used to have parties that were off the chain, set the place on fire. Cops ever came. Now they're coming just because you're standing too close to each other. And of course you are spreading the covid nineteen. That's the course. What's on everybody's mind. That and making the next viral tick tock video. Apparently, other social platforms or just exploded with angst and it out just just playing nastiness. And I'm not surprised that the many...

...people who are still using any opportunity to divide us as Republicans versus Democrats, or just US versus them, you know, and of course, all the scams have started, the scams where they're going to call your grandma and get her bank account and routing number because they're going to help get her stimulus check to her faster. Or Hey, maybe they already mailed it to her, even though the package wasn't actually approved. Here's your check, grandma, you should rush and put it in the bank. Oh, we gave you more than we were supposed to. Just send us the rest back. So that's how that's going. No matter what the crisis, no matter what is happening, no matter how badly off people are, there's always someone willing to take advantage of them. And I guess in a way I was one of those people. But you know, it was legalized for me because I was selling time life books and shit like that. And Yeah, a lot of telemarketers calling me now. One guy called and told me that the offer that someone had made me on my car, he was willing to double that offer. And the strangest thing was, in fact, yes, I had had my car up for sale because I'm going through some tough times or I need a little money to move, and I was going to sell my car and I put it on craigslist and as soon as I hit the submit button, I opened the floodgates of looniness. Just the amount of crazy fucking people who called me about the car. Asked me every kind of detail. Was Not even any you know, they weren't even going to buy the car. They just wanted to talk and they want to ask stupid questions or tell me what they knew about an eighty one cadillac. So you know, I knew that was going to happen. But this guy's going to give me twice as much and of course I'm like, oh well, maybe it's legit, maybe he saw the ad, and he's like now it was bullshit. He wanted to sell me a extend to service contract, extend the service contract on the one thousand, nine hundred and eighty one car. I'm like that's a stretch, Bro and he's like, well, what's wrong with it? And I told him. You know, I went down the list like ghostbusters. New Radiator, new shocks, new tires, new plugs, it's like he's just went on and on out and I did find some rust over the weekend that I have to work on, but you know, it's nothing that's not manageable. It's certainly something that myself, I do plan to hold onto the car. So you know, I will put that money in. But this guy, you know, just out of the blue. These are what these people do. These are what Tarot readers do, fortune tellers, they just read it, they just play you, they just get you to say yes to something and that leads to the next yes. And, of course, scam artist the people who are the smartest, they're the ones who think no. But he could take advantage of me and I can see right through a scam and sometimes they are the ones who get taken the worst. So, you know, keep that in mind. That the scams are on the rise, of course, but then other things that are on the rise are people's anger or their temperatures. They their angst, their misgivings, they don't know when their next check is coming, they're not sure if they're going to have food. So I think that everybody should try to do what they can to help their neighbors if possible. And yet if you are one of the people who went out and bought eight giant jumbo thirty packed right, you know, toilet paper, that enough to build a small fort for your child to play and you know...

...people know that. Now. They've seen your face and it's pinned. It's been entered into a database. They were taking pictures of everyone in check outline and they have basically have already said, okay, you know this person is one of those types, and you'll get recruited for something at some point. You'll receive an anonymous email that you will have keywords in it that are engineered to make you click the yes button. But Hey, people who hoarded and who actually took product out of other people's hands, including my grandma, you know, there's a special place for you in hell, if there is a place in hell or anyone, because a lot of people are telling me it's right now, buddy. So, yeah, we're just hanging out in isolation. I have made some trips out, of course. Was Lucky enough today to take a road trip, but I have credentials the the field that I do work in full time when I'm not doing this fabulous podcast and trying to entertain you with my wit and sarcasm, I'm actually providing a service in my local county. It's crazy, I know, after all these years, after all these crazy years of marketing everything, including a sneakers, you know, actually have an awesome mission and I'm helping people and so don't the Nada. I'm giving a letter that I'm essential personnel. But the thing I was doing today was it's been a long, long, hard start to the new year for us. That's got nothing to do with coronavirus. Has To do with the fact that the apartment we were renting for seven years, since the hurricane sandy days, was basically our landlord sold her home, her marble mansion. Don't do with road iron gay it's she sold that palace and now decided to she's going to slum it and move into our apartment. So, like the last thing I wanted to do, will start the year getting evicted. So, you know, we fled, packed up and put some stuff in storage, which is crazy. You know, having to pay for a space to put stuff you own really really helps put a real value on it right. Firstus the insurance value and second is the you know, hundred bucks a month. But you know, in the meantime, we got kicked out of our apartment. My family and I all our pets were living temporarily and an air being being beautiful ventnor on Dorset Avenue, where there's very little traffic but the street lights are still very bright. We're living there now, temporarily, but today our essential business was to go look at a place up in wonderful mystic island and hopefully find a new place to live, because we're very anxious to get into settled, into a new place that we can call our own so we can hang the pictures on the walls and plant the day lilies and do all those normal things that homeowners do. So that was our trip today. That was our essential business and it was cleared by the governor. That's right. The governor said, if you're in a process of finding an apartment or moving, you are doing something essential, and God damn it if it wasn't true. That is essential because we don't want to be here much longer. The thing is we live in a sleepy little short town most of the time,...

...but it gets invaded in the summer by tourists. You know, no matter what you want to call them, we have a lot of derogatory terms for them. Those terms are regional, so they change depending on what bridge people are coming from. Basically, in our area we use the derogatory term shoe bees. Shoe bees is what we call our tourists who come and invade our town and tree just like shed and have no patience and acts entitled and Walk Out in traffic against the light and ride their bikes against the traffic and just do all that stupid shit that shoe bees do. That's what we call them shoe bees. Now the theory of Shoe Bees, I'm going to sit for for the record here. You can Google it, I'm sure, but there are actually two to explanations for the derogatory term of shoe bees. There may be more, I don't know. These are the two that I've been told. To decide on which is the true one that I'll leave that up to you. The first one is the fact that when tourists would arrive from Philadelphia on trolleys and trains, they were so excited to be at the beach, many of them having never seen the ocean before, that they would walk right onto the beach with their shoes still on, and so you could always tell somebody who would just arrived because they were standing at the shoreline staring off at the ocean, but still fully clothed with their shoes on. So there's the term shoe bees. The other explanation for this derogatory term shoe bees. I prefer out of towners, but if I see you have a New York Yankees cap on, I'm walking across the block. They're walking, going to cross the street, especially with the COVID nineteen. If you're from New York, I don't want to see you around here, but you know I'll welcome you in the fall after the plague is over. So the other explanation for the word shoe bees is similar. That tourists who were arriving on trains from Philadelphia. So that's the one thing hasn't common it people coming into town. The tourists who took the train from philly would be sold a boxed lunch and that was boxed in a shoe box. So I guess they get a sandwich and they get an apple and they'd get their shoe box lunch and they would show up at the boardwalk and they would eat these lunches they were given on the train ride down out of a shoe box. So that's how you could tell a tourist they were eating their lunch out of a shoe box. So don't don't done. The mystery continues. You decide the true origin of the Word Shoe, be right to beauty and the beast and you can tell us what you think is the real deal with the word shoe bees, and you can also tell us your favorite colloquialism for out of towners. Meanwhile, there's not a whole lot of those. Right now. We're getting to the point where you know the police can pull you over right now and ask you what a central business you're on. Will Officer, I was buying pot. Actually, nobody is. They're standing in line at the dispensaries and yeah, it's a pretty tough time. Lucky for us, we have some little Boudagas and Delhi's and grocery stores that are sort of under the radar. So if you don't want to go to the big box chain and deal with the crowds.

But I have to say personally that since the pandemic started and the hysteria DOE has seemed to have died down at the store or it's especially true, I guess, since so many employees who were working in those stores and now testing positive. So he's like yeah, we got to get some more toilet paper March. Well, you go, Harry, because you know three of the cashiers had covid. Okay, dear, let me go. So you know there is that there is some terrible news here in New Jersey that covid is showing up in the nursing homes. Ninety three of them out of like four hundred have got it. So you know, it's a sad thing because these people pass and not going to get to see their family except on, you know, some robots face maybe. I don't know, but the one thing you can do to combat this illness is turn off the TV a little bit. I know you're listening here, maybe trying to get away from it all, but turn all the podcasts off and if you're having trouble sleeping, turn all that stuff off two hours before you even try to go to sleep. These crazy stuff going on here, like silence, like total fucking silence. It's crazy. Now I grew up in the middle of nowhere. I swear to God it was for corn fields and a blinking light on the quietest nights when the stars filled the sky. I you could hear truck shifting gear like five miles away on the side of the mountain, and you know so I'm used to it. A lot of people are not. For a lot of people, this silence is giving them time to think, and it's not thinking, then they're big watching tiger king, and I must say, I'm happy to say, that I've not been tainted by tiger king yet. Not Seen one episode, seen plenty of MEMES, but I have had two popeyes chicken sandwiches. That's right, no tiger king, but I have had to count them to popeyes chicken sandwiches. So, popeyes chicken sandwiches, if you're out there, I love you more than Tiger King. Now, as I was mentioning earlier, the all the liquor stores here are are open, and so, in support of them, I've been buying some S, you know, and some of those tall boy younglings and what the heck, I have not been buying any scratch offs. In fact, I'm very, very disappointed with the state of online gambling. You know, we were doing some sports betting there online, William Hill going to the casine house and we were making some money because, hey, we were picking some teams, we were we were following some haunches, we were doing some research, we were playing some wild parlory's, we were having on. But there's no more baseball, football, basketball and nothing, nothing to bet on. I'm watching fucking marble run races on Youtube. That's how, just just how awful the the sports scene is. Not that I'm a sports fan, but it was a just decent distraction and it was it was fun to bet. It was fun to bet on Sports. So so now that there's no sports, because we were all doing so good. Hey, we were actually making money because there were odds and there was this and there was that, and yeah, you got fucked by half a point every now and then, but you were able to actually win something and be happy. No, now you can do online gambling is pull a stupid slap machine or play roublette whatever, and fuck that. I mean...

...those are jump those are sucker games. I do know a man who's called the wizard of odds. He's been on the gambling scene in Atlantic city for decades and he recommends, if you're going to gamble, play the video pogram machines. Of Video Poker machines have the best payouts of any game in the casino and he ought to now, and he's been in enough higher roller clubs to have a valid opinion about it, unlike myself, although I have certainly one more money playing video poker games that I have playing slap machines, but I have made more money playing black Jack than both of those combine. But none of those compared to the sports betting. It was awesome, it was so awesome. But now, like I said, there's no there's no racing and there's nothing to be bet on. I guess there is. I mean I got to dig a little deeper. There's always something that somebody's taking a bet on. I hope you're not bending on the numbers, though, folks, the numbers of the deaths from this terrible disease. It's nothing to laugh at, because I guess there's just not been enough time yet or I haven't thought of anything. Well, okay, I'm sorry, I do have some covid material. I'm sorry, I'm really sorry. I don't that guys here with the with the rim shots. Beauty's got her rim shops happening, but I was just thinking about how you know this generation. Now it's going to be like, Oh, baby, you know, I love you so much, I'll get within six feet a honest, honest girl, I just want to touch your face. You know. She's like, Oh, you brew, you brewt and I'm worried that. You know, people are going to be calling a cops ands US invading my personal space. He came within three feet of me. I can't deal with it. You know, I'm people wearing masks. It's kind of kind of creepy and I guess fuck that social facial recognition software there, Huh, and it's not going to do much with you're wearing masks. So that's kind of an upside of it. At the at the same time, you know, you can make some fashion statements with some of these things, and you can. You can wear your mask but wrap a scarf so you stylish. You know, there's different there's different things to do. I was thinking maybe I could solicit some porn stars to sell me their painties that could be made into masks and I could sell those for a lot of money on Ebay. You know, I'm saying some old PERV definitely buy some covid nineteen mask that was made from some porn star priestesses panties. I think I could make a lot of money like that. I'm trying to think of different things I can do to make money during the crisis. Thinking maybe once a month shave my back hair and that can be woven into doilies maybe, or little Yamacha's. I don't know. I'm just trying to be entrepreneurial. Based on the current crisis, everybody still got to have a side hustle going in this day that's specially so we thought we'd take some time to do some biographical material, and I think I probably fail to do any. So my mission here is complete, and I do want to thank you if you have tuned into listen to this rambling comedic diarrhea that we present to you on a semi regular basis. If you haven't gotten the chance you had... listen to our the best of our bitch show, please do so, because apparently that's the best stuff we have and you know, we're trying to churn out some more. We are trying to do things differently, especially because of this current situation we're in. So beauty has promised me that, even with my feeble tech skills, we can do some kind of a skype podcast. Otherwise we just are going to try and wing it, because that's all any of us can do right now. The less expectations you have about when this is going to be resolved and what you're going to do about it, probably the better, even if it's just for a few days. So take some time to disconnect, because it'll just do you world a good. Take your time to give yourself a mental break. Reach out to talk to people who you love and who will support you, not people who are going to upset you. Even if you have some friends who are right now are feeling like they're on the edge, help them anyway that you can, because we don't want other things to take them out, you know, in addition to the virus, because a lot of people have a lot of medical problems right now and they're going to need a lot of help. They might need some food, they might just need a kind word because they're not getting any hugs. Even the most introverted of people are feeling some of the pangs of not being connected. Other ones have trained for this forever. They're good to go. They had toilet peeper long before it was an issue. And then there's other people who are using antique sears catalogs you're buying off Ebay. Rich people are using those. They use them a page at a time. There's a nostalgia Value Tho. Do you think this is what great grandfather did in the outhouse? And also, of course, comic books. You know, you can usually buy those three for a dollar and lots and you can read those and then wipe your ass with them, one page at a time. Pretty cool. If you haven't read a comic book in a while, it's a twofer. So I'm going to sign off and thank you for listening. This is the beast. Another thing that I forgot to put in there. I am a cosplayer. I've been cosplaying for about four years now. It's been totally great. I missed doing comic CON's. Pretty much everything has been canceled right now. I am looking forward to though. It's still on. It's the ocean city Maryland Comic Con, all right. That is in December and it's going to be coming up now. A lot about the cosplay. When I go to events, not only do I sell autograph photos, but I also sell a lot of my artwork, which is great, and actually that's a great place to meet people and everyone. So let's get right back into this biography. So what am I doing to keep myself busy through this plague, through everything crazy? I've created a new comic. It's called well, I'll be damned, and it's just features pretty much owls and we're plays on words. Like the first episode is actually entitled Hooters. Please check me out on Tapasticcom I've I will always post the links and everything for everything. But yeah, it's just two owls. Like the first episode is hooters and it starts out with one owl. One hooter is good and that goes to the next thing, to hooters are better, and then it finishes with well I'll... damned, and that's like the whole punch lie. So whatever happens in this comic, the punch line will always be well I'll be damned. So I'm hoping to do that, like and maybe an animation thing, I don't know, soon, hopefully. Well, I hope you're doing your part in supporting local and independent artist. I know most of us we have paypal accounts and then mose and we have all sorts of merchandise on sale. I know anything that you've seen in that I've drawn. I can do a digital print for only ten we don't even have to mail it or anything. So if you can, it's like just look me up at Christine Noltoncom. Will drop some links below. Thank you. So I'm I hope you all enjoyed listening today. So it looks like our time is up here. Tune in next week, as we talked about. I don't know, but just tune in. I'm beauty and I'm the beast. EWWW SHOWCOM.

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