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Beauty and the Beast
Beauty and the Beast

Episode 1 · 2 years ago

Episode 1 - New Years Resolutions

ABOUT THIS EPISODE

Episode 1 - New Years Resolutions aka Comedic Diarrhea Part 1


Welcome to the first episode of Beauty and the Beast where we talk about New Years Resolutions!


We want to hear all about your broken New Years Resolutions. Drop us a line or some hate mail at beautyandthebeastshow69@gmail.com


Check us out on the web: https://beautyandthebeastshow.com/


Check out Beauty in "The Laramie Project" at Dante Hall in Atlantic City January 24th-26th http://www.dantehallstockton.org/event/d9af06956f700a276e7ce68ae2b02095


And in Cafe Murder at the Bourre in Atlantic City February 1st https://www.freshtix.com/events/dinnertheatre?fbclid=IwAR1iO_mdzjTLXuWIH-5EDFkLj_eoZfrAx2WX-wjQRfP097j39mnAoDkISp0

Coming to you. I'm going to die from lakeside. I'm beauty and I'm beast. Happy New Year, happy New Year, and if it's not a happy new year, then we're here to help, because we're going to make your New Year so happy you're not even gonna believe it. Oh, we've got some New Year's resolutions to talk about on this show. Have you got resolutions? Have you already broken your resolutions? Like I know people that are like two days in and they have dropped it. They have completely killed it. Most of the people I know who resolved to stop drinking, they've already started exactly. It's like when you run into a friend. It's like, Oh, I thought you were going to stop drinking, but here we are, we're at a bar. Yeah, well, if you've been too any of the local open mics and suffered through any of the local Comedians, you definitely need a drink. Yes, please, drink. The more you drink, the better we sound, or the better I sound. Anyway. I don't care about well, I care about everybody else. But you know, and again by that comedian, a drink, because it might even can make them a little funnier. I don't know. I've already been to probably half a dozen open mics this year and they've been fairly dreadful, except for my friend here, beauty. Thank you so much. And actually I do have a drunken story. The last time I was drunk and I was on the microphone. It wasn't open mic because actually an actual gig that I was paid to do, and I got drunk and I remember being spanked on stage. It was like the best. Hey, I don't remember spanking you on stage. I don't know who that was. Oh, just my friend who totally had too much to drink. You know, the other night we went to an open mic and it was at a strip club, so between acts there were girls dancing and you know that was a Twofer, like, Oh yeah, that's my kind of place. Actually, that's more like my home. So you know, if you ever get to the Strip club around the area, look me up. Look up and don't forget you might slip on the floor when you get near her. Oh Yes, I've had more than one time on stage. Owner or DJ, I can't remember what he is. He's really awesome and he gave me a wet floor sound. Well, let's talk about drinking. Since we're on the subject of drinking, well, who...

...these people? There's this drink, I guess it's called a car bomb. They take some hundred year old whiskey, they throw it in was some Ambrosia called Bailey's and then drop that into that wonderful stout called Guinness and then they chug it down. What is the point here? Folks enjoy those strengths separately. There's no reason to chug that stuff down. And in fact it took longer to make that whiskey than a hundred years. So why wouldn't you sip that for every drop? I just don't understand that, because it's awesome, like, obviously you've never been in a car bomb circle Roger and what that is. It's like ten or more people and you do it at the same time and it is amazing. It's like it's kind of like gravity, like it just happens it everybody finishes at the same time. Well, you know, I can really appreciate finishing at the same time. And yet once again, when people want to drink together, I just prefer possibly co pilots. But even then I just don't see any reason the slam down that liquor I say, you've paid a lot of money for it. Depending on where you're at, you might as well enjoy it. Pays for a liquor. Oh, that's just theircle. That's right. The last time I went out I didn't pay for any of the liquor, but I will enjoyed it. Yes, it's like I always enjoy liquor. I always enjoy going to those bars that have a hundred and fifty different IPA's, including ones that tastes like Bacon and ones that tastes like sour patch kids, and you go through the whole Rigamara with the waiter, getting his recommendations, and then you say, you know what, Buddy, give me a PAP's blue ribbon pass blue ribbon, going strong and always will be, keeps those kids coming back for more. I just love to look on their face after they've told me all the virtues of a specific IPA with its limited runt in a barrel that used to have whiskey in it and then we dipped it in chocolate, and here it is for you to enjoy. Thank you very much. I'll have a yngling. Exactly it's like it is. It's so much fun to do that like. I don't know about you, but, being a comedian and everything, I love going into this place is and, yes, hearing exactly every little IPA that they have in the whole place. And then it's like really, it's like and I'll have a budweiser. Yeah, I like when they say, well, this is better if you pair it with some food. Like really, you know, water's pretty good when you pair it with food. Also to Shay, and it doesn't cost ten bucks. Oh, I forgot. You don't pay for booze. I like when the Guy Slipsha a freebe and basically because he's charging the tourists next to you enough for pay for the entire...

...case. That is quite true. That and we do that here a lot of the shore. So, as you can tell, we didn't make a resolution not to drink this year. I think we made a resolution to drink more. Going to drink more, and only good one. Well, you know, I don't know how much more I can drink. I'd have to actually have another day of the week. I guess you would need, like Saturday, part to Saturday, part to. The drunk continues. You know, if you keep drinking you'll never be sober. Well, yeah, and you know, the more you know, the more you forget, and the more you forget, the less you know, and the less you know, the less you forget, and the less you forget the more you know. So if you don't know anything, you probably know everything, and if anybody out there can explain that to me, please do so. Have a drink on me, you know. Another resolution I didn't make was to stay alive. That's right, folks, I've got the resolve to stay alive. It's just in my nature now. I didn't want to used to do it. Actually, things got better and better and now I'm sitting here telling you all about it. That's right. I might listen to songs about suicide, but haven't had a thought like that in many years. Like staying alive is like so overrated. It's like so two thousand, I think. I think we're like totally over that. Well, I can see with World War three looming, perhaps we are are. Does anybody ever wonder that most of the failed construction in the area is actually going on underground and we don't even know it? So for hat, for example, beautiful hotel down the road, is actually a bomb shelter for the wealthy and elite who've made a resolution to drink and eat and be merry, all at our expense. Is that like the underground Strip Club in Atlantic city? It's exactly like that, I hear. Everybody's washed up. Oh Oh, yes, the year of the bad puns continue. It didn't start yet, it has now. Well, we've officially kicked off the year of the bad puns everyone. So if you have any bad puns, please send them in so we can harsh on them and make them our own, and we thank you for that. We were happy to punish you for the rest of two thousand and twenty. Did Somebody say punish, punishment? That's another resolution. Now, who out there is into this? I know that. Yeah, my beauty here is she'd love a good spanking every now and that spanking is definitely my favorite. Nice so special about spanking. It feels so great, I mean especially hand on push like that's Oh my gosh. It warms you up so much, like it's the best for the wintertime. And Yeah, you like roast marshmallows on my ass, on your red ass. are going to roast some marshmallows later. That's great, folks, and later on we might have a weeny roast to but I'm not spanking that. And there's banking on semilive radio right. You can't see...

...it, but you sure can hear it. Yeah, I've got a face for podcasting folks. That's what they say. All right. So you know, at least be of New Year's resolutions. I came up with a good one the other night when I was at the Strip club doing comedy and I was like, you know what my New Year's resolution is? Like a broken condom. There's just seemen everywhere and the more you try to clean it up, the stick here gets a broken condom and seemen everywhere. Hmm, that reminds me of my birth story. Actually, I'm only kidding. I wasn't a broken condom. I think I was the result of the rhythm method, of rhythm for having a baby. Yeah, yeah, and I've never worked. I mean, like, was that like on the back of a cereal box? Like Hey, kids, if you try the rhythm method, you won't have a baby. I always thought the best one was probably after you have sex, if you jump up and down, you won't be pregnant. HMM, is that happened to Richard Simmons. That is a result of it, or you'll become an aerobics instructor. made a resolution, because I like to make really simple ones that are easy to keep, and I went to the supermarket and they actually have a salad bar and olive bar where there are eighty five different selection. Yeah, I mean, and I love my pickles, so I'm already up to number five. That's right. Today I had some olive stuff with blue cheese and I'm just going to keep on going, just like the energizer bunny. That's right, because the energizer bunny likes pickles to pickles. Speaking of pickles, I love going to the Renaissance Fair, and the Renaissance Fair and pickles have what in common? They sell ginormous pickles there. They are amazing. Pickle on a stick. I mean, well, obviously everything is on a stick. Is a rat on a stick? Yeah, I've had that at the Renaissance Fair. Now, a ginormous. Is that gigantic and enormous? Exactly. Wow, that's a big pickle. It is a big pick now, the other day I had a pickle that had been cored out, stuffed with monzarella cheese, wrapped in bread crumbs and deep fried. Now, is that still a pickle? Yes, yes, it is, yes, it is. I know that's what it's said on the anything to pickle. I mean, that sounds like a good time right there. Well, you know, it was okay, but you gotta understand you got to let these things cool off, for otherwise it's like you're eating molten lava. Yeah, nobody likes a hot pickle in their mouth now, now, at least not me anyway. I do know some guys who might prefer that. But there there's another resolution, getting in touch with your feminine side. Come on, guys, it's about time you did it. Well, I know I'm always in touch with my feminine side. MM. Well, you know, once upon a time the guys just thought that if they...

...showed any kind of emotion that they would be considered a sissy. Well, I'm here to say that it's true, and I try not to show any emotion. Oh my God, in fact, I got to rein it in. But I would say that I would like to organize a day at work we're all the guys go in in Yoga Pants and riding boots. That seems to be the fashion trend and between you and me. When I grew up that was hot stuff. Now it's just office attire. And I love when two girls where flesh colored Yoga Pants. So you got to do a double take. Is that girl actually naked? One of my reasons for doing yoga, you know, I've just gotta check everything out. Is she naked? Isn't she? If she is, see me after class. So as that a thing we can do, you think men we can organize a national day of men wearing Yoga Pants and riding boot that would be amazing. I think we should do that on April twenty so that we're actually twenty in and then they'll say, well, the the guys did that because they're all stone a lot of awesome things happen when people are stoned, you know, except for the time that I got stoned with my cousin and I was like yeah, let me move my car real quick, I'm going to go down the store and get some snacks real quick, and I was gone forever and he's like, what took you so long? I was like well, I'm sitting in the driveway and I was looking backwards to make sure nobody was coming. Like granted, it was a driveway and there's like nobody coming and then I forgot to turn on the car. So you know, I mean maybe it's not like the best story, but it's one of the most recent ones. That's why I just keep snacks in the globe compartment. I don't actually have to go anywhere. I remember the time I got stoned and I was shaving and I went to work and they're like, what happened to your eyebrows and the Yes, I actually shave those off too. Very Nice, very nice, and I why am I for legalization then? I don't know. I'm going to be walking around with no eyebrows. Well, I mean half of them already do. Have you seen the latest trend in eyebrows or like paint it on? No, I haven't noticed this. I have to get out more. I mean it's great. I mean no offense. It's like I do love dry queens and everything, but the painted on eyebrow is not for everyone. Wouldn't you just get a tattooed on? That would make more sense. That would make more sense instead of having having by product after product after product. You know, you'd have a tattooed and then you are all set. I guess, though, if you paint it on, you can have red eyebrows one day blue, and then you can have some sequined eyebrows one day. And while we're on that subject to sequens, anyone out there still Vajazzlin the jet? Not since breakfast. Oh Man, I remember one time. I think it was Jennifer Love Hewittt. She broke the ice on that and showed her Vajazzl on national TV. I've never looked back since. I must find this somewhere. The vajazzle cost? Well, I was going to Vajazzle,...

...but then I had one of a bedazzlers, and apparently that's not how you do it. No, as I poked that first one in there, I knew something was wrong. Talk about a bloodbath. Yeah, that people are telling me. Oh No, they're just removable. They come on. I'm like what? Why didn't anyone tell me this? Yes, I believe some of the they're more like sticky back, you know. It's like you have to be nice and shave, though. That's so I've resolved to read the instructions a little more, get a little more information before I jump into things. Yeah, next thing you'll know, you'll have your glue gun and your beads with you. What a pretty slight that would be. Will be at some vajazzle support group like he yeah, he burned himself with a hot glue gun. This guy, he's a Shbaki, used the bedazzler. And what's your problem? Sure, I mean, if you're gonna go the glue route, just use east six thousand, you know. Yeah, let me like like crazy glue is just like totally overrated. Girls. I don't think you should any crazy glue down there. No, definitely not. I mean he six thousand, I think, is not going anywhere. Like you will permanently have that forever. And then one girl's out there like who baby gorilla glue? Oh my gosh, gorilla glue downstairs. That doesn't sound tempting, but a gorilla downstairs, my oh yeah, now where are you appearing lately? Okay, well, January, twenty four, twenty five and twenty six I will be at Dante Hall in Atlantic City doing the show called the Laramie project. That's by Unity Theater Troupe. And then February, first I am back over at the beret in Atlantic City doing a murder mystery with the Atlantic City Theater Company and it's called cafe murder. Well, you know that that would be a good place to have a murder. I think one I'll read took place there. Oh yeah, right down the street, probably. Yeah, I love my orange loop, but WHOA, I give it ten years. I love it over there at the Barre. Actually, I have a drunken story. Let's hear it. Okay, so it was Halloween and I decided to go as the Marvelous Mrs Masal. So I'm dressed, you know, in a black evening gown and everything. I've got high, high as Lod like top to bottom, is like totally period correct. Anyway, so my fiance and I we get home and we had stopped off at Wahwah to get some Munche's. I don't know why on the white drunk people think they should eat because, as a horrible idea, soaks up the alcohol is so we not with what the hell we eat, but anyway, so we get home and I'm like, I am not eating in an evening gown. So I stripped down to everything and he looks over at me and he's like, are you wearing one thigh high? And I was like yeah, there's this guy that came in on a scavenger hunt and he needed a thigh high. And then I thought about for a minute and I was like, you know what, I think that guy was too old to do a scavenger hunt. He probably killed someone out in the parking lot and your fingerprints were all over the thigh high. Probably the thigh high killer might have been high. Actually,...

I saw New York Avenue in Atlantic City. You know, one night I was walking home. It's the only time I ever got mugged. Was a guy came out of the dark and he cut me with a box cutter under my chin, and then he told me give me all my money, and I'm like, well, first of all, I don't have any money and second of all, you should ask before you injure your victim. And then I said and third and last, now you're going to die. And that's a story that you know. It's really not funny at the time, but now, looking back on it, seeing him scurry up across the dumpsters, you know it is kind of humorous to realize that, hey, this is a resolve you have to have. This is a resolution to make if you're going to go mug somebody you got to follow through, Baby. Yeah, I mean like, don't halfass it. I mean, if you're gonna do it, do it. I mean that should go for anything that you, you know, want to make a new your you want to make a resolution about whatever you yours. Screw that. It's like whatever, make a resolution, whatever you want to make a resolution, just don't go halfassed on it. Just go full it like a normal person. Yeah, and don't take a guy on with a box cutter who's got a gun in his briefcase. Or Save Up, hey, you know, save up, give up the crack one night, put the money in the bank and save up for a nice handgun while you're at it, get some bullets to I thought you were going to say hand job. My bad, save up for a nice job, like great, I'm here. Oh well, yet twelve hand jobs. Twelve hand job that is there a song, Christmas Song of the twelve? No, that's the twelve days a hand juff. Oh, that's twelve, the twelve days of and jobs. Yes, that's my resolution. They get more hand job. All right. So I pulled up. You know, some of the New Year's resolution says here and this one. You know, it is like it says this year two thousand and twenty, don't make resolutions without an action plan. The secrets of success is right in your hands, which all goes back to hand job we just talked about. Oh my God, that like worked out. Oh My god, already come true. It's like a fortune cookie, like they totally know us, you know, like wow, that's because our phones are all listening to us. Let's face it, I know it's like you think something, writ is random, but no, you can think something and it will pop up. Well, not only that, but our phones now are actually talking to each other, expanding circle of friends. Then are reported to the government. Thank you very much. You know, people used to complain that one day big brother would insert a micro chip in your arm. Well, I say, it's right here in your hand, and you pay for the privilege and you can't wait to upgrade it. Exactly. The eyes, the ears there everywhere. Got More words of wisdom on resolution anywhere? I have no idea. Okay, in two thousand and twenty, don't tell people your plans, show them your results,...

...like the guy with the gun. Dude, get a gun, I was gonna say if you jacked off and they're just be semen everywhere. So you know that's your results. Well, I mean the end of the result. You know, I've been in some hotel rooms with that purple light and yeah, there is seemen everywhere. Yeah, pretty much. I mean I know every time I perform at the Strip club and I go through this black lace, I make sure I don't have anybody on me before I start speaking, exactly, and if I do, I'm like who the hell was that? The other night you did an open mic at a place called the black cat. Oh, yes, the black hat. I loved it there. There was a ton of people there. It was great. To the left of me I had all drunk people that were playing along with every word that I was saying. They were throwing things out to me, I was throwing out things to them, and then in front of me you had like the Golden Girls Times a hundred, and I was like, well, crap. I'm like, well, I made the people to left of me completely laughed. I offended the people in front of nobody got up and left because nobody could get to their walker in time. So I consider that a wind win. Some of them leave because they had tabs and they didn't want to skip out on them, and you were throwing stuff out and other people were throwing stuff up pretty much pretty much. You know, is that deep throat comedy? Now, what about this impre of group that you work with? Okay, so every Tuesday will be starting back in February, and here comes the ice machine, the ice machine. Time for drinks. Taking as few moments for some cocktails. We got some fresh eyes. Like why not? It's like eighty degrees out, you know, let's have some let's get some Margarita's and some Daqiri's go in here. But anyway, starting back up in February, had Dante Hall. Unity Theater Troupe has an Improv workshop. There was no Maddie. Is She somebody who we should know? Oh yes, Maddie is the director of unity's theater, like I said, and right now it's like we are focusing on the LARAMIE project coming up. That's January twenty four through the twenty. I remember the one guy who said that his resolution was to be more manly in two thousand and twenty, and so he was trying to come up with different catch phrases that he could use, but all he could really talk about was sucking ball. And Yeah, that's pretty much what he did, that he snuck balls. We're not here to bash any come eatings in particular, but I got to tell you that, you know, the local scene has got a ways to go and we're here to try to do some things to help it along, like, for example, the Improv Group. There's not a whole lot of that going on these days and it was great to see it in action the other night. But it was also great to see how you could pull members of the audience up and they would get right into it and be part of the scene. So Oh, yes, that's my gosh. Yes, if we had IMPROV. But, like I said, I'm very glad that I found unity theater troupe. I've been with them for almost a year now. I think it was my second or third time there that they made me the assistant director of Improv. I think...

I'm pretty tapped with New Year's resolutions. Oh, you're tapped with new year's right. I mean maybe try some other methods of spanking. I mean I've got to get a new ping pong paddle because obviously the last time somebody spanked me with one is split writ in half. Know How hard you have to hit somebody with a ping pong paddle when the police came because they thought that someone had been shot. Oh my God, that was awesome that. I always say, if you're not being spanked with the Ping Pong paddle and it doesn't break, you're not doing it correctly. And I would say if you're having sex in the police don't come. You know, it's just not good sack. Yeah, it's not worth it then, you know. You know, that's why I enjoy sex in public, because you never know who's coming around the corner or who's coming inside you. You know, you never know. My resolution is less sex with strangers coming around the corner. Yeah, with me, I'd probably be going at it and I'd be like morning more oh it. Let's make these resolutions that are just so easy to break that you don't even have to think about it exactly. Get out there to meet your fellow people, Fall Haves. That's still happening, or is this one thousand nine hundred and seventy? To I think my snatches back in one thousand nine hundred and seventy, I think I was thinking about how, like every hundred years, got hits the reset button or whoever it is, and like there's a whole new cast of characters, you know, taking over the stage, new music, new comedy, but then again, there doesn't seem to be much new comedy. I really am just not so thrilled with going and watching stand up anymore. It's got to be something new. On this I agree. Now, being a comedian, I do support all my fellow Comedians, whether they're funny or not, and some of them can take a joke and some of them can't. It's weird, like some people don't even like to be heckl and I love being heckled because it gives me more fire to play with. And then they they'll get like bitchy and pissy and the like, just go off on the person for like no reason, not even to be funny. I was like, I don't know, you know, did they hit their head? Like I thought comedian just meant funny, right, but apparently it doesn't, for that was funny for five minutes and then fuck you pretty much pretty much, which is what's just kind of why I got out of doing stand up. I used to do a lot back in the day because it was new, it was exciting and you were meeting people who actually could help you build a career rather than just a couple of drunks who happened to be out that night. And at the same time I met a lot of people who really turned me off of the industry, Comedians who reminded me of if Marilyn Manson and Charles Manson had a baby. That baby sat around drinking whiskey all day and chain smoke. You never knew who was going to punch you in the throat or not. And after two jokes he was whipping out his phone to look at his note. I mean, there's a time for doing that, like a lot of open mics are kind of the...

...time to look at some notes or whatever. I mean, I'm guilty of I think a lot of comedians are. But like when you're set, like if you're paid to do a set, don't bring out your phone, don't bring out your nose. Come prepared. That's what they paid for. Even when you do open mics, it's okay for doing new material, but other than that you should just get up there and let it rip. You know your stuff, you know your stories, unless you're using your phone as part of your routine. That is true. You know, taking phone calls from Darth vader and promising to bring home the milk and eggs. DARTH vader. He can choke a bitch from across the room and force part bark. It's right, comes across the room and you're like, what the hell's that smells like? Oh, there's Darth vader over in the corner. It's like vader did it, but what the heck is with these moves? I went and saw star wars because I've been a fan since the beginning and, you know, I just don't understand this whole concept of if you destroy the one thing, you can destroy the everything. They have not learned about redundancy in the future or the past or whenever that's supposed to take play place. And, let's face it, what's the most important thing is that darth vader's snapchat works exactly. I mean, without that we'd be totally clueless. Now, this last movie, of course we've got an empowered Ray, we've empowered women. Is definitely the flavor of the day. That day we saw a black widow trailer, trailer for wonder woman, a trailer for birds of prey, and I got to tell you, Hollywood two years of women empowered movies doesn't make up for the two thousand years that have preceded it, doesn't. It's like I like the women movies as much as anybody being, you know, straight on, first off, an agent Carter Fan and would love to see more of that butt to the screen or TV or whatever, like anywhere. But sometimes, like right now, they do not have a good balance of things and it's going to throw everything off because all the guys are going to be like, I don't want to go see a chick flick, like they're just going to associate it, you know, with being a chick flick and they're like no, we lost interest. They need a balance of men and female, male and female characters coming together. You know, it's great that everybody has their own backstory and all that stuff, which is great to read about in the comics, you know, do you know a little thing? You know on Hulu or Netflix or something, but then when it comes time for the movies, it's like bring everybody together. Well, you know, coming together people. That's porno, ha ha, gods it. Now you're in the cosplay and like yeah, it's an aging Carter and other things like his cosplay consent? No, cosplay is not consent. I repeat, cosplay is not consent. And my friend Michael Michael Take on bridge with that. He likes to cosplay, crossplay exactly, and he says a totally is. He says cosplay actually has ruined some of the cons for him because of all the...

INSTAGRAM whorses. was He calls them, taking the time out of the day and not buying a single product, and I think he just likes to cross draft. There is nothing wrong with cross dressing. There's nothing wrong with that. It's when people go up to other people and they take it or they try to get their cameras up people's skirts or in girls cleavages, and we know that's happened and we know you're going to get caught and you were going to get kicked out. That happened over actually at ocean city comic cont I was actually cosplaying his belt from beauty and the beast because the bookmobile was going to be there. It was like perfect, you know, I got some photos in the paper. It was awesome and I had this one purve that totally came over and totally almost like stuck his cell phone like right down my shirts, like, are you kidding me? And then I saw him a little bit further down with another cosplayer, friend of my lady Jay Cosplay, and I was like, oh no, we have got to go tell these people, you know, and get this guy out of here. And what the security person went over and they actually saw him take one of the pictures and they took a cell phone and they deleted all the photos and kick them out. They were like weary, have his money. So, you know, it's like get out. You know it's that guy's named Epstein. I have no idea. Okay, no clue. So that we're here to day to say that the beauty stand on this is that, guys, cosplay is not consent. Even if that girl looks like your dream come true, she's only there for you to take a picture of her. Yes, pretty much for him, and don't do any of those obscene things where you're looking like you're grabbing her boob in the picture or her but you know, yeah, we all know when that's happening and we're like no, no, so, yes, cosplay is not consent. Well, now that we've established that, you know, anybody out there was a different opinion, feel free to you know, write in email, send a text. Wait, how they going to do that? Oh, yeah, that's right. We're happy figure out out that just shouted in the air. Well, hear it down in there. Yeah, we're mentalist. Time this comes out, we will have yeah, because we need someplace to talk this. No Way. Yeah, I guess we do. We are so backass words. That all me because of my theater schedule and I'm out every single day of the week. And if you want to hate on is too, that's fine. Oh, we love hate mail. We love you said and me hate mail the best hate thing I ever got. My fiance and I. We do independent movies, not independent porno movies, not yet anyway. But Anyway we've done independent movies and one of the comments one time was this movie sucks. You should all go kill yourself. I made a resolution not to kill myself. I am I gonna do that. So ridiculous, exactly. So yes, please send us...

...some hate mail. Please send us some love mail. Love males, good to money's good stamps, but not your food stamps. If you have those, just hold onto those and use them and feed yourself already. Just feed yourself. There's too many people out there who need to feed themselves, not only their mind but their body too, because if you're not taking care of yourself, how the heck are you going to get anything done? That is very true. It's like you can't get anything done unless you take if you don't have energy in you, you can't put energy out, and this is what we're trying to do here. Folks have some energy going out. Yes now. Is there anything you'd like to tell people about a resolution you had that you broke or one that you made that you've kept faithful to all these years? Well, one resolution that I have totally done was being an actor. Like sometimes it's hard finding jobs, and one thing I've always said is don't say no to opportunities, because you ever know if you'll miss out on something, and it can be a good thing and it could be a bad thing, like I've done, thought on the bandwagon with the Laramie project, and now I'm also in double rehearsals for cafe murder and then right after that I think I have another show coming up, so it's going to be like never ending. But I feel like if I don't take that opportunity and I let that sit, then it's like maybe six months before another opportunity comes up. Well, you know, and I'm just the opposite. I'm not doing anything. I'm helping other people, whether I'm building their website or helping to give them some advice on how to get their art out there or get their brand out there. But basically I'm just here as a wonderful do nothing kind of guy who's very happy with his nine hundred and twenty five, because my job's very rewarding and unfortunately a lot of people's are not very true, very true, and I'm glad that we partnered up. Yeah, that's what you want to call it. We partners in crime, part and as a responsible partner, you'll let it out, all the Shit I said, like all of it, like all of it, like very beginning the podcast. That's right, it's just me doing the podcast now. You know, beast is just a figment of my imagination who has a loud voice, a loud voice. I'm going to resolve to keep my voice lower, lower and more more tempered, because as soon as I get excited it goes like this and people are like, why are you yelling? I'm just excited yelling. I'm just trying to get a point out. Even if you whispered the truth, people would think you were shouting it. I know, right, exactly. So are we hum wrapping up this comedic diarrhea? Have we had comedic diarrhea?...

I think so too. Let'sten that Chinese food I had. I'm glad we got more toilet paper today. I did, in fact, I found a special on it. Very nice. Yeah, it's called City Hall. I go in there with a backpack, I come out with a month supply. That's another resolution. Steal everything you can. Folks, I know my my uncle still napkins and wet naps wherever they go. You know, plastic cutlery. You know, they'll have to worry about stuff. You know, let's just deal with some other comedians material, and then it just better be their best stuff, exactly exactly. I know this one comedian. I'm not going to mention names, but we're doing a show one time and there is a videographer, which was me, and the person running the show asked, you know, it's like, do you want your stuff, you know, a publicly on Youtube and he said no and I went to look them up. He claims he has like all these shows. You know, from East Coast to west coast coming up. I haven't found anything online about him at all. Not One video, not one picture, not one profile on anything. It's like no facebook, no instagram, know nothing. And I was talking to someone and she's like, well, you know, it's like he steals most of his material. Oh that's why he doesn't want his video to go up. I was like, I get it now, and people don't realize that. Well, if you're going to steal somebody stuff, add value to it. Like if I steal something from somebody, I'm going to say it's like Oh, this great comedian one said Blah, Blah Blah, and then I'll add my five cents in and make it even better. Well, a lot of Comedians have said Blah, Blah Blah, that's for sure. So you're pretty safe stealing that stuff. So that's going to wrap it up for us. Yeah, this is beast and this is beauty and we are totally backwards. This is beauty and this is beast. Check us out on the web at www showcom.

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