Beauty and the Beast
Beauty and the Beast

Episode 23 · 1 year ago

Episode 23 - DEATH


Episode 23 - DEATH

Welcome to the 23rd episode of Beauty and the Beast - DEATH and learn more about Beauty and the Beast as we discuss death in a comical way.

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Coming to Ol his live Leekside, I'mEatyn, I'm tebeast and welcome back to another episode. Today is episodenumber twenty three two and three. Nobody try to add here.'cause. We can't do that Shit. So anyway was two equal. Five, seven N is tolose Towh, I fucking say t yeah it does I'm goingto hunt down all you too gosto o four 'cause. The new school af thought is t eopl's, fo yeah w. Wedon't do that Shi yer. We don't do that. Sorry, if you can't add up regularnumbers without having a weird as base and then going to Mars the multiplyyeah. No, no but whatas an ancient did someday, say:Hey, you know what oos do does equal fine and if you don't believe that,then we're going to on you down as old SC Fourthog, exactly Ei'm a justing namit. I got a fool with the knobs yeah. Well,we talked about that last week. We got a lot of handfot from people and onesaid he would never listen to our show again. I Sia t took Whyon't. You fuckintell me that shows ago. I know right all right, losan listener, that's ykind, an Yo can't believe you talk about StuporShit like that, I'm like! Well, what show did you listen to prior thet? WASNno was Sur. I know exactly t s like this is ourpocast. It's like. We weretalking about stupid shit until the cows come home, R Mart people, you know,and the smart to are the more after you are to talk about stupid Shit Because,oh, I already did this B eers we're going to skip that. We kip that Park E,go rewind the tape and play a previous episode T, although I don't think ourlisteners are listening to us when we say you know best. If the volume isturned down, when you Tako yes exactly see, then you would get our shell andthen Yo gus in space and fucking aliens come and destroy the planet Nice, which is our subject today. What is our subject? Today's subject istinding Indindan dyand a there's, a ferby sitting over here now for threefocking weeks and that's dead as a Doorno, SI e Batteryin in a decadeprobably or does it? I don't think it ever came with one. It just startedtalking on the one go: Satanic, Burbers, that's why they took 'em off the shelf. That's why six six six is tattooed onhis ass when they were like lose power through Hem and Callyeah. Aroh go a a's, a roned house, they comeacross an old toy and it still has a little life left in and scares the shitout of Hem. It's awesome, my kind of toy little dog Yayeahwan.They just flee its like dude, it's a dead battery and an Ole boy idiot, although if one of them spoke clear andit was like Myou get the hell out of there to get the hell that can't begood an they a Mike Tyson huging that Annabel doll. She looks scared. You crush your little huck and woodenhead. Of course, that's not the real annivelallthe real annibelt all is locked up in Connecticut at the Warren's Houseand that Oune actually Um looks like when f the Old Raggedy andoll o theypretty much made a newdolf or the you know for the whole series andeverything soy y H. Well, those dols kill a lot of people.They're responsible for a lot of deaths... America, haunted toys anddemonically proessed dolls, it's gotta, bearcantage of it, and one of the reasons we're talkingabout death is ecause we're surrounded by with the pandemic. That iscontinuing and we don't know what to make of. It is realit fake. Of courseit's real, but when will it go away? Is My question? The G is coming. I her.Why can't weet out stupid people, fastersay TAT was design E, wasn'tdesigned well enough. The stupid people ere still alive yeah, I thought most of those peoplewould have injected the bleach and then that would have gotten rid of them. Soyeah exactly a little bit in time. You knowand s t all these protestors and everything like that nobody's wearing amask: no one's wearing mout. So do they get weeded out well they'remo easily identified that'sat least that part of it. So they get weeded out in the after. In theaftermath hear about that woman that one woman got busted, she set a confireand it traced her through her custom design. Etsy t shirt, niceasdhave agood review another a another. Looter Um actually had her car out in front ofone of the stores and they got her license plate because you ase gone backand forth loading up. You know massive hangers and boxes and stuff into hercar it', like you, don't part at the crime scene, yeah. What Thoh, when when I all seddendown the INIONS, come and kill half the population they're going to keep thestupid people unfortunate, although I figured you know, that's why alienshaven't come and visited Planat Earth because Therre artomeny, stupid peoplthey're waiting for some one person, at least to hit this certain number in theIq test and then then the invasion begins where they were recruiting through avideo game. He had a certain score and the portalopened yeah its like. So the one thing about h, the one thingabout death is it's inevitable, but taxes are not so they say everything:Death and taxes, that's bullshit, Bullshit, folks, I'm quite frankly, to Aue Park. I Idon't know about being buried like in New Jersey. Well, they still charge USproperty taxes for a and that and rain run off taxes and then they're GOINTAcharge a visitor tax for everybody comes to your eter grave. No, like evenan UM earth worm tax down there download Asri, all the worms and stuffyou know, and they probably have your hair still growing tax and yourfingernails and twonails are still growing. Taks 'cause we'R, like webcans, an NCA, so they can moitor that dead, cams dead cans theryea with thewater runoff thing they. They just estimate that th, you know by the sizeof you, Cougfin and you'R pot yeah. I would like to have a mosoleumwith a pinball machine and a wet bar. Maybe a Jee box, O Hell Yan in party aover my ass, that's right! HELL YEA! My earn would be there with my ashes. Youcould dump 'em out and use it as a cocktail. Oler Edwe Grehadd, a DEADTENEA MUSSELAteam. There you, which makes a on't know it's all clear. Well, I guess you could have agenerator. You know one ey human power. So if you did want to come and playpinball, somebody else had to sit on the damn bicycle and then pidle it fora while n Er ard just put solar panels in he'll just osoleave. This is your expensive Otell. You Yhocan't win either you're under or above, and it's still costing money and that perpetual cares a joke. I'vebeen there hihim take care of shit at that sepetaryoay anyway, ever ogtvisited, so they don't fuck hair nsawthe other day, th, guys Rell, ing,O Spoof and they pretended like the check idn't clear. So they threw thebody out of the car gee boy they didn't realize it was that it all started totake place right in front of an actual funeral Om. So the funer Om directorcame out and said: I don't fuck out o here man, his ain good for business, likeoh, Shi Wer, O Moneyhi, sompt Bowro right, an old directors man, Oh Osh, that isone business to get into. I remember going through my careernight at high school and that funeral director drove a roll royse and had agold Pinki ring and wore three thousand dollars Su talk very softly, and hetold me that empathy was AON director,...

Creet Yeah Baby, and they all talk like that.To talk they talk off, I mean, I guess, m a lot of the funeral homes like theyhave the embalming there as well. Oh and like you stay there, and I guess ifyou inhale enough of it, like you, just put y put you in that calm tee, youknow I wunsting, I m Bisloinflood, you know it's cheaper than crack Thotit a x o at hey, made itto bodies. That could be a deal I mean racked. You knowmaybe they're down there chopping of some of the ashes and norting them.Yeah K, Ow, just snorto, some Granda Yeah Fil, GRANDPA, moftball, yum, Mell, the pedagree, and what? If there was like what if youcould get off on dead bodies? Oh Shit, oh my Gosh! Well, I mean there's SOM,there's Necropulias, so I mean why not o to be a small percentage, though of hof people into that, as opposed to people Gan to get whacked out on drugs. Yeah, that's true! You Le Te Mok apotthat I know in a Fucke Corpo you go. Do A WER R, a Lokher! Hang. We got the Istory of a ors. Some callyGol fired up E. I could understand like if a womanwas like an ACROPHELIAC, because she definitely needs something stiff most of the time. Anyway, you know B, if youere really into that you mightas well just get a girl out put her in an ice bath for an hour and she's alive and then sell her kidneys and otherparts on the black market. Wait. Can I see black market? Is itjust the market? Nowitjthat is Mt'sinteresting, that's the alternative, Marketthe e!! this is dark web shit and you're. Notinto that. I don't know how the hell we go fromdodose to death, but with the hill you know, Erise, that's son. I know Ilander D, Yes g. If by Dildo there, you very here's asubject that might appeal to beauty, I'm pretty sure THAs happened beforeore. Like that good old shock, you know just gets you right up an there andparalyzes the hell out of you, and you know you are done Dann early Dildos,actually electricuted their users O, probably probably or they did theydid-wasn't that, like some kind of therapy like bildes and stuff like that, cameout as therapy for women. Something like that. I can't rememberwhat it was but yeah like before that, like they were like made out of wood,wouldn't wholly crap, could you imagine getting a splinter on one of thosesuckers holy crack? Passe, Ummers Grblu. You know, I think it was actually a guy in myfamily who died death by Dildo because she was bludgeoned with one wasn't actually inserted, Ban Besan thewrong place up and wrongyeah that that you can do Lron, Rong, timetats, right, Deati Kil, not today, I'm in the wrong place, that'd be great obituary. Well, yes,Little Johnny Smith died from Adoldo accident. He was caught cheating. He got sad todeath several times that Wshi liyes out. First, I think they ea at got one sharp asbuilt out. Actually you know penetrate skin like in Rai first and then, as a resultof his injuries later died right now, beauty is pretending toshove. A Dildo, thoug somewhere lsi think I'd be a little bit more forcefulthan that. But as actually thinking of this onereally weird movie, like I'm, no longer allowed to pick out the movies that wewatch 'cause, the last on I pigged out was there. There was Thi Tued in a Bunnys,it was called Um, Easter, bunny, killl, kill or something like that or Ki CiBunny, like one of those things a literally the guy, was killing like.Had it like this big dilder that came up through his you know, costume orwhatever, and he was beating people to...

...death with the Dildo Sik, what Tis WaAin, he wasn't savenum. He was beating Hem yeah. I know I know my death, mybuildn n only Oi beat nowyf beat somethingbeats an e face. The Oh yeah those Didos were designed for therapy likeyeah two girls young. At the same time, while the Doctors Watch was therapy forTa, I guess I could you imagine like the wooden ones like at first and thenthey had. You know the ones that plugged into the wall. I mean that'swhere probably people got electrocuted yet electoro shot ther pandv beensleeping in the metal bed, nowrank aroud put on Pone Ithik. Part of the reason I wanted totalk about this h subject was 'cause. I experienced it just last week, H, whereI had these stroke lege symptoms, which was okay. You know it was like thebiggest head. Rushia ever had my Ol facking life, but at the same time Iwas driving liket seventy miles an hour in a parkway and certainly couldhave taken somebody elseout now. The things I noticed was. I was driving my sports car, no, myCadillac and there's no Wa' Donin whelofthat sports car, an not myCadillac and second of all, when death fin was really. I thought I was goingto die. I screamed out this. Is it and there's no way O' going downscreamingout some Kenny loginsbucking Song Kyi'm coming for you, Elizabet I'Mi turn intoFrenc Sampora. Now, Aboutyou N Fiterwhy, Fishi grahe was weaned on exactly right.Like I com before you Lizye, I I was watching some friend lately'cause. There was basically a new special labor released and he kid saysome funny as Shit. That's for sure, but in H, in SanFRNNSCO, that was like death by clutter no ot. The original horders thet were like. Oh my gosh. Oh, I just found anew television show like with worders, and things like that. I think it'scalled like this hot mess and it's Legi organizing for hoarders. I like what Soiwas like well there Os my wholeafternoon, I'm intrigue. Now. Some words have died being crushed bytheir Hor now y and that's Wen elver. Lo God, that is one hell of away to getyeah I mean: Do you want to be crushed bynewspapers from like nineteen, ten or mixers F, one Thousan, nine hundeed andthirty woman seting my fucking face and notcaring? That would be a good way t. What was Isa Fort Again, would't mithat wouldn'tber ao to O yeah? Why not Wai worse ways to go? I rite wow lik nap my neck, an call me Por, ano ofthat Mane, I'm there for that. One Lut Mey burn like going through yourlittle fucking hoaror trail and your huckin trailer to Millan. Nowhere and you know: You'R jerrily Lewis, out NMahattn, since nineteen fucking fifty two falsing a big stack and death by vinylrecord. Oh my God and then they're pickingaround your corpse. Looking for the good shit, Daora got any Andy warhawlcovers in there. I worth way uncle Harry's dead, Chos inrespect, F hat this isn' one of a Goncleoer. We gotto get a Mouy ee. Wegotto get over here I clean em up, we gotto get em at.Let's go. You know you're in the comics at all. I don'tknow yes, the true story of the Mile High Collection. Have you ever heardabout the Mile High Denver Collection, one of the biggest fines in the history?COMON books helped actually define the prices of comics and what it was was aguy who basically was in the industry in the fledgling part of it, and hejust loved conbooks and he was an adult and he collected them emphatically andhis family hated the fact that such a successful man was wasting all hismoney on COMMOC books and not on them. So as soon as he went in Te h hospital,they started fucking selling his collection by the truck load. That's right, he wasn't even dead, yetjush bag. He can that's why I say: Reach or Comics folks play your recordsplay with your toys. Yes, say: You'll... dead and your relatives will befucking Sele of it. Yes, it'll be either selling it or fighting over itand and Ho the money to go. Tho fucking, vacation, O Disney World Thend teyrerwould have taken you in ha first place. Yes, ND, then all on top of that. Soyou end up living you get out of the hospital you're like dude where's, mostoters. We Shit where to go. Where h imagine animal that that creates afterthe fact come hom it's like where's, my priceless collection of coutic books.Well, we got ten bucks Frit from some Guy Ow up. Oh, you know what else the guy R hesays that he was unable to take the whole collection and in fact, when hewent back finally with a truck, he found massive amounts of it just intotrash, including original drawings. That's how vindictive those bitcheswere wow rallwho. All he wanted O do was collect Cominbo, Oh man, that thatthat's a whothawhothat is. I got digest that for a minute. Exactly was my intention. He got me there. He got come fore.Elizabeth, I'm coming for you an as the old on gi, or'causeH, Isno one's ever left me anything. Haveyou ever gotten some huge inheritance from someone just out of the blue, likeyou see in the movies Nope, I'm probably going to end up witha trallerfool crap, but yeah? No, nothing! Yet t asked me when he dies Wat. I Want D Isaid O. would you got run up? How about your pets I'll take your bet. You'llhave to worry if you want to have pets right up to the day, you're checkingout, I will adopt your your jat. I mightchange their fucking names out of creepy Fuckin Shit, Moreabond Tand, you know definitely going to call one of thedogs. Satan never had a Sandon lie. He're see, ther boy he's ating, Iseems yeah he's go pan my house, it ret you, a Togo. L You had two dogs iwouldneed, one God and one seee Eler Bos, thehell of it Howo like have you seen like hot Havy Voisat the right age, when it's transitioning from Halloween O D,Christmas and they're battling and the Ni yea the ells against transformersrightbetween our iyes at we I'm Goni'm, Gon WIP, I befor Ocan't.Remember now. I can't either I'm actually learning how to play thetransformers theme on my new Ucal Ali. That's where I'm at that'sshes old henyou no down by now. I like the NEU, you haven't seen thenew one, yet it's actually fiber glass. It's really biging! It's like when youwan to de Olong you're, not going to make you know, Y you're not GONTA, beable to kill someone. Remember that Hell, Yelkeban I'L COM is main Havein aguitar ye would be dead. You would be you and I wante T in like Goin, tosmash my Eran head with my gos yeait's, like those deaths in the eighteen, when, when the truck rolls over twentytimes person in the plane, hey the guy got out no problem he's alive. Well, that's not death. I crashin theMountainar. They O Otsa. They got ou se they come walking around the corner.You know no OAYEP yeah, that's right! It's like what that's notrealistic. I guess I's where all those c Si showscome in now everybody that didn't die like in the seventies, eighties andpart of the nineties or all die now on t v shows a they have all these. Youknow, CSID unsolved, mysteries and all that kind of stuff, and the problem isin TV shows even after you're, our dad, they shoul still USOUR. Sorry ask mycondiginal face on anyway. They see fairly, they do Larencalivie shilland hamburger forburger king it'ss, Digital Ghost, the poor guy, making 'em worth moremillion eighto'clocka Burnburg right now, Aleis and I have some Fros with that. That'sright he's still alive. tily enhanced coming at you H, D, Terminator Twentyseven Iam Still Alive, it's twenty ninety two and he's still fucking alive, signed away soul inperpetuity withUiversal Brockasri Weil. I thought Disney owned everything noweerthinthat's right, yes, whether...'re dead or alive. You are an yousee a like smashmouth make a resurgence. 'cause Disney said you're not done yet yeu're putting on a concert Yepoh, Godwe haven't performed in a decade we're still on a contract. They we're bringing you back. You Erbrain called contractioal obligations. I red the fine fine must make this hiafine, fine on n mine preyes, exactly not since breakfast goes back to likeNin thirty. I guess at this point is that when ha marks brothers mad thosemovies, I'm surprised they have digials,digitalize them and everything right now. Im surposed, I haen't cleaned up,but she goes accent. NTHAT races to talk like that. Likeyour Tatalian, no sanity, clase bols e'R, I going to clean that shit upright, just got rid of the golden girls and Wer in oodpack. Oh my osh, O wow,and once again folks, if you would just let this old shit go away, wel go dieoff on it. So, but no you know they. They, you know th. These people arevery shrewd. These media people. You know, let's ban that rate, that episodewhere they were in Mudpack. That's Black Faceyo know much free, fuckingpress we're going to get out of this. This is golden girl. DV DS are flying off theshelf, Ohmy God, and if you act now, you canget n augraph on the. Only one left only got a poster of them and they'refucking, my packs. I know right bit alone R, remember en remember when this wasn't racist, not Inot that it is to me this is this was what would signify that golden girlsscene was racent. Okay, are you ready yeah? They would put on the Mo Pak andthen they' start talking like they're in fucking, Amos and Andy Radio Show Wol. Yes, exactly that would be it. I remember hearinganybody Sa that. No exactly e Banges Omoi Didn' hear that so RMEBER seenyesnonot that but nowatat makes sense exactly likeexactly EA nall, the Stupi Shee. Really it's justin o effort to not really have to do anything about the Ashit. Exactly it'spretty much. You know, death to entertainment. Kills this week t omerfoots going away. We took away the confederate flag offthe Dukes of Haen car, and now we've eliminated the golden girls and O fulking rock. What if it's like the GT like theMarketis for all this stuff? That's doing this stuff to some wore sno, Okin,stupid shit, open, go gotto, be a a rige show, God else we owning here, Ese Canwe, Ohe o got. You know a truck IV. This already next look: That's Roi, O at oLittle Rond Oofherman. That Sho was classic. I love that the thing is everything seems to Teinyour point of view. Like I waa when I was young and I never realized thatthere were anything other than a GA, an ca o another. Exactly. I see some up awe. A in the case Diny, sometimes and kind o Gr, but generally speaking, itseemed like they were all on equal term y. They all were, they all had theirQorkingess to each and everyone of, and no one subjegat is stimin picked thatup and or nobody did hatl. They were just Kish Thai h supposed to say a ballhe's cleaning the stall like no, they all had household chores.None of them was any better than the other one. They were exactly a bunch ofkids have thet fought. Of course. That's it! No! No we're just that'sjust 'cause we're looking at t with FONOSTALGIA's, obviously raise his falk welcome to the beauty and the PA. Rasesship, Dina Ays, the anybody dying in like anyof your favorite, shows no 'cause. I know people gave t ethrones like they woeld. They would be so into it that somebody would die. Ohalso, walking ged, you know, don't kill off this character. I won't watchanymore. Hang Up. Racaly overet get over ther over rreal people are dropping dead. Allaround you. You haven't seen your...

...grandmother in fucking ten years, buthey wy. Can Ge a gland of walking non, I'm never packing watching and I'mwatching a letter campaign. I Noh like wwgd. You know what would then do whatwouldlike really like really as crame it rum exactly looking like wars going on infamily just over that it's like Dudd, because, like one day now, oneChristmas, my father gave us all television stuff. So at any given time there were fourtelevision sats all tuned tin, the same fucking program, Pata Poor, differentroom, Bor, different people watching now my dad never thought hey! Maybe I'get one big EYEBOKIN TV for us all to watch together. No, it was fine withhim. Heo Go go off and over watch TV to fuck out here, THANKSD, that's how it goes. It starts exactly like re watching the same show next to yourbrother and then the next thing. You know you I'm Talkingto Hem for twentybucking year now, everybace sits on their cellphoneright next to each other, walking the same Tena You have like a seventy inch.T V downstairs N Mesesellephone. That's got to be a Realo, it's like Oh right!there. They go realize her's, smart t v that he like hit a button and it justgoes right to the t V. I still lot the holding a battery that Co your headhehad all DA. I know I I just also see I you know our evolution, we're going tohave these little tiny thumbs, so we can tax better longer finger. I an Miod Lookin at the Bokin Phon on VER Lon. Si Me I'm walking with it like straightout. I'm like if I'm going to die, I'm going to do it good. You know. I'm diedon the phone ISOEN on go IRA. This way. o You talk bout, it's not bad enough!You killed yourself by accient, you do Wa oin kid m would have talked you walking to tr why the whismer wasGongna p. What te fo o Lo beculd yougo eys right! Look at the charge. ARTO!That's a major highway! Ion't give a bucket some fucking jars ar I thogoigot to catch 'em out. He should be as flat as our La N. His phone e just got a fuckingchars ar es te Caln nine one Onepe transferit over transor o. He said hedaid, it's Al Rat, he's a nice Charg, an it's, a shiny, wl get it. We gawhogot to catch 'em all I's tecot. One yea now welcome to Thi Centuryo by irony by theend of the show, with the Pokimon go, that's what it all comes. Is I run in aor the best you know. Yes, it's also cool the Te Frat Ool who die'cause. They try. They tried to prevent something from happening and thensomething taws Bot, goingt happen O and all this time, toit one thing andbut likepeople that exercise and eat kell all the time they walk out ofbuilding and get smashed by a Piano AG. My Uncle Gi to smoking 'cause. He gotby bus trying to Lig a cigarette h when it's your when it's your time,it's your time, Msr China's his Sime Yep. That was his time. IAS ITAdventure Time Awa de Literature. I ever cheated death an b at the sametime. How long do you want to live anyway? Okay, because, let's face it, he get to apoint where what are you fucking doing Othan sitting in a chair? whatwhat? Areyou doing sitting on a chair watching the ottl girl in Pucki Mugoin?This is Rasis, I'm a hundred and ten get over. I havgotten laid for a cluck in five decades. You know, but I watch every fuckinggolden girl Ila Island, at what episode is just bythe opening bars of the the music. Oh, this is the one where kiulagin Bi othats the one where tanks ginger an Marian. I threeway, then they murder theprofessor and Barrys Body on the other side of the island. Much this is grinof.The skipper who's secetly banging miss... wow Mer, how watches, because hehad a video camery Ike EPEC. Then it was tobratprobably.Superoron E soly get fa out of it gets off the ISN, the all Pi near the torn industry. Oh Yeah is the one of you banging Marya and oh good, a mieroh look at the one atGinger. The coffet does match the dreams e en mister. How I son wasperfect that day, good thing the professor made us a Sundial, its a drunken sailor, a Yo h, hard onand he falls over on his back and everybody uses them as a sun dial, MHMB taing about the other day cells poker, have a sex. Tell I don't: Have a deathsell yet B T I see, I see something H I get Shivd Ou, my Elie. I can'tcontrol it, no matter who's who's in the room or who I'm sitting next, toincluding my lovely bride, of course, being married for fuckingthirty one years. She knows this tell inside out. So she said what the flockis: Wron with you, like, Oh my God, stockings on the back of a Horse Don en shit, it oun as mind. I know you're inthat shit, yeah ro, Ancontrol too. U Think OES Heyho! You Know Ias born with with sex eyes, poreyelike every porn eyes. Everything I see turns to poor. It'screat S, take those glasses off it IA little funky there, I'm Gointa C,I'm CONTOPLA animal. You know crossing come to yourisland and Wer Gon e Wewegot to a flucking animal crossing Ioland. I O that one night Isaand we weretalking about this early like well. I feel bad for all t e the Me Weez outthere we mes he spent all his time, making 'em now they're, just in somecyber hell, hoping you'll come back and play with your wee. Please there's tenthousand of us in your fucking Godsil. We trap you there we it's more fun that way. Just like everybody, that's associatedon my island right now they try to leave and I'm like. Oh, please don't goand then an he sa. Oh, you really want me here. Oh that's great I'll, say andI'm like the plan is working you're, never getting off my esland anything onyour island. I haven't figured it out Y. I'm sure that you can I'm Sur. I wantTa, pin one up an WAN walledlyhow to kill people on my island and animalcross. Yes, yeah, hacker skill: This is not Tis a terot eat it eiit on the coilet. Ifyou sit on that toy, it will come out on. You, do not sit on Toilett, ifter,you've eatin fruit. Now you got to take all the toles oways that are overarofull of fucking fo, Oh, my God, Ukn Col, O hat when thet happens,although that sounds pretty Kinky fineapple in the cold win. If there's ahandle on it ree. How much I learned last week, I want to die from a fucking pine up pyour ass 'cause there's nether handle on it. Yeah! No, don't do that! Don't Ididn't die from the pine I he died a fucking and barered it sa cl. I think the leaves that prout out fromthe pineapple. I think they make a good andle. I mean no letting te great go.Oh, they must tickle Thou Sur. I sor s not include extracting binables fromyour house you're going to have to live with it ys I ul passing a pine appy passing a baby.Here's another guy down the plog with a bucket he's got the rest of theMargarita. He's got o o bottl ofhirum get te Pinot boy. Anybody has to got Ocookin up eass, Oh yeah. We make some good stuff, Makin prety, clor Ilovoo,ask Calas Ascias, just gontasay oar. Just going to say I ask is, is beto the know e was Ref, my favorite cat freezes, Oh yeah.

I was surprised to hear that Um thepeople whe were y know the show the people who were kind enough to allowyou mention their name and drop. Their links aren't currently suing us. No, they like I mean if there's peoplelike with kinky stuff and ind the adulttoy business, and you want us toshout out. You know some free St. you know like free advertising, the I lostmy train of T, which is common, but you wantto throw hem out there. It's likeban they're like happy zill or te windlntouch the surface of allthe sexual things we can be talking about te blow by below accounts, wehave tospread them out through Qorentin Wevejut, pread them Uy, O new storiesto at R, not just tredging up whole memories. LoYo masterb, the hospital last Weeii, took it a bit of a boner and during theultrasound today, though, Oh nice there's a hobby, you know first thing in the morningsome girl, I in a dark room, is H. Spreading Luberkins on you. I was O happy today, caurse I was after the one. Urs wastelling me to stay six feet back at all times, I'm like Pcthingou the hill is that going towork and you feel really Bo about six footcock extension. You know I was, Itold you. I have poor eyes, Foran sin chairs across Hos orking on Tlike, W sex dat think a lot of guysprobably do have sex stuff. They do. They probably have tn art tacks. Ai would love to go out that way. Yepmeright perfectly o die with one of these SEASINA and the bucking punerslike how do we get rid of this Hart on when Tto saw it o? Never going now that I al it off or JS CUK AI? Back onyour Tomach, I boltin your Pan Tucking in Yeah Ol, US all that fucking thing off. You Go OANI Eise to mark our biace when theybaryr you don't even need a coughin. You just take 'em by the hand you got aHav, grandpaas goting to look harass. I heard I can only do that stuff withthings that ee handles room. RTHAT is one holl of a way to go.Yes with a Moaner with a booner and entwith a boner Helly Yeh, the Gr like yeah, you go granple, Oh, how PRSI? Oh,I can't believe he's relived to ut she's e O. of course she wa. She was married intothe family so that you know Bo Geo Yah it after grandma had been a pause, Yepman sort of banging all the sibs, Oh yeah. How come he left the Insad he hisentire state? I don't know so she wouldn't tell everyone he wasbanging her and that is having to be the woman tomake that call after a man has a heart attack, though, like Oh Shim married to John Jsman Wordi to his Walanjus cokas on he o e rthat's, my grandfather, how good a you I, your oldman, Ayeahand! He wouldn't! He didn't have the safe word. He didn't have asaorybudy definitely had stithat's got to be like the most awkward call, O Haw to explain that to the family.Well, you see an awkward calls People Hav to makeafter somebody dies like especially like in their bedthey're doing it. It's like D, Havean ARAC, when you're jerking off in thebooth of the Porno Shooh God that has to be the worst. Yes excuse me, JGloria wit to yeah arack he's a anal nitrade thing he's stuck in the gloryhole o as o be extracted. 'cause Hi Ticks hardimagine working there we gotanother stuffy dead with a stiffy, an EA on e grow bar e, okay, God Oman. Now we need to makea new glory. Oh God, Thepoor Shi, thin ashill clean em to...

...they Li. They have like panels of gloryholes up against the wall at Hey, just bringing another one, never thought bout, how you might die,though? No not really have you ever fantcizedabout. You know: Firi Rolcots, to Grash. First, I'd have to be on a rollercoasteriould, be better than really Um. Seen my death or anything like that,like I haven't like pictured at like I just figured I', probably go t likewith a heart attack or something I mean. I don't have anything wrongwith me yet driving a cars driving ar oh gosh. Thatwould be my log. That would be my lime pirzack. I firerol Oser in te fierymerrin around. Oh, that's, Mi Ay around how come you didn't get out of fuckAmerican Orounn, O it o Goo. While I have her on the hill thinks only goingtwo miles an hour and they're up to having going well. Is I just didn't getoff in time? Fucking Marrrumber, I got my my sneakercat in a hook. SYTHAT would be one hellof way to gotoo the next day there's a brand newfucking Marr ground, already up replack, exactly Lika memory of it listlike nine hundred people. It's like the wall for like nine eleven or somethinglike what what's going on at this park. What's going on across the SA Pig Bay Bridgeyes, Oh stop in themiddle there's a there's, a little rest op there towards e Te and there's aplacq on wall there of all the guys who died building the bridge. So they werecollecting tolls and no Pan Alin the water and drown. So you could driveacross a foam rage, ansave yourself. Thirty minutes, Oh wow! They they theyare. The toll, they're tolds of their lives, re a thetoll. That's a scary mother, fucking bridge to drive across to it inNoreaster, hello're driving, you're driving, basically on a line throughthe middle of water and Wa. While waves are cratching up over the side of thebridge Ikeyeah. This is normal. This is normal O, we'll get over. Oh yeahver,we'll get over we'll get over it. Eighteen whirler, Dras Yor, like Oh and he'll, die from the bridge an I diefrom the ATN ber from Lam in my break M Yeah E goty backnobody fucks ot the cat. Even the Hummers, like you, go first R, read o fuck through your Amerdor.Believe me, it has a crumple zone and my card does not that's why it's like. I miss my Lincolntown car. That thing was abased exactly it's like. I was H who te beams runningdown the soy CRAFP yeah, except for an first first accident. Igot te boned and then finally Um they get that all fixed and everything andthen don't you know: L Ke, like not even three months later, I'm justdriving down going to the CRAZ stor. You know my Nice Lincoln town careverything was great on it. bamreended totaled, the car wow toldthe car and when, when Gee, when the person hit me, I just tapped the car infront of me. I did no damage to that, but it had to be a big enough impact,because my front license PLA ended up in the middle of the road. Ijus say theofficer, I'm like Um Officeercan. I get my lisence plate in the middle of theroad sure which one is yours, O di Shat, one now ionrear once, and it did nothing. No, no. No, that car was bithe. Nanlakis built to take a back impact. It actually has little plastic insertsthat look like part of the fin and the whole bumper massive steel bumper is onhydraulic pistons. Let Hem go in so that all you have to do is replacethose two mplastic things wow, while other cars are CR Fronchan they justdcintegrate on the back of it. I I tell you what I was Iin I had. I had a sixtyeight fleet with Bron bigs car ad, like twenty four fuckingfee e, had o foot restful out of the back ses that Strang gs out. It wasgreat we one step below a limo and guy love that car that car big black car wedrove it in Halloween parades and one of my finest memories is coming aroundfrom the hospital with my son when he...

...was wis born and having a picnic in theback of his car N Somehod B on Wat GTHAV pigninks in it. But we weredriving in the middle of nowhere Pennsylvania through the cornfields inthe fog and we basically went through a T. intersection missed thestopsignlucky for us. No one was coming either way: 'cause, it was a majorhighway and the next thing you knew we were Arborne Welteli off the edge ofthe road 'cause. The tea came to a Cornfield. We flew through the air likein a movie l Slo, do e like look at each othergo at front of the car. Itwas probably a ten foot drop and he shot out in the Darand. We see the topof the corn plants. Tha Car Jus Gong O face first growfirst into the ground and it comes E. comes to? U Stop the bottom. The backin falls down the ground. We just look at each other. How you doing I'm likeI'm, okay, Ow, I oi'm. Okay, so start the car up you back on the road drovethrough. Well, we couldn't get back on a rod O arde Ofei before and there wast was low enough to drive out of the cornfeeling back on a highway, and Igot the car mook at the car. No Han except e lices plate was Betn a okay.Otherwise, I see no damage whatsoever, but we' drive up back to theintersection. There's like forty fucking cars. Looking for people withOmy, God think you were Eeon, Rwe, disappeare,Wejusr Hasna Way, I'm not talking about no were live. We're Veaneyou went ri onIgway Rusa ple with Brom other buck. That Tin, like mine, driving, Toh, someone'shouse and she's like Hey. Yes, horry crush your grandma at the dinner table,expectedly death by Candy D, Elsa that right on our Tombston,deathbike Cattyi. Think hat would be interesting like if people like hadthose kind of deaths and it was put on their tombs, oon it'd be gone to thecemetery, a whole new feeling and story. You know like howdid that one go. Howdid that one go Allo? We have some plague over here. Oh Wow, get that, oh,my God, that w det my ars I a I know that Uy. I know that Guye O we werejust out of the cemetery Sunday 'cause we're the only family around. So wetake care of the plot and that's how I know this perpetual carries Bullshi,because I aways Goin to take care of his fucking plots right, but the wholefamily's there there's one giant massive stone in the middle with thename and then everybody's graves around it and UH. But right next to it is a Um, a woman, her head stone was there andthe first time we came, there was a quarter on it H. I thought I W mayse Tropp a core next time. We comethere's two quarters on it. So now, every time we go we're out in quarters,nowabout four bucks worth of Chang on Ityou know: Aen, wait until there's five bucks, I'mGoin to tack first quarterback. Maybe this is SOM strange. You know savings plan. For me, I see from the plot next door an lookwithot quartero. You know Thato Gosis, like wheris my chunk change. I need tomake a poon ail o any water who took my rcade money, other fourdollars and seventy five Ta Yeah Right Het'll be haunted by thatperson. Yu Ha my money Yeahi know like in Jewish cemetaries. They put likerocks on their tomsones. I can't remember what that means, but it it'sit's something like spiritual and everything like Y, don't Ta thesels,don't thin the O don take my stone, you'll be pesassed or Nihe CA smash your head with it Coroic I took grandpas stone, oves Gratwhen he came out of the gravand smush, my Wa Bay Nho lot of Gu go Amica. I got cover up the pombov. Youknow I'm on Crac,...

...just visualizing things hes a sidebusiness. I always wanted to go into which was handwoven YMAC made from my back here you mean they don't have those yet wai like I aryou gotto get that gonebecause you need your marketer to say: Hey, that's racist, we're going to makea fortune arry bact Yomica, so natey makes me sweat. Though, do you throw in the additional curlsfor the rabbis R there Yo co, ot av thought that she, a Sei Geniu? I wouldn't go that far. But wllthat was a genius thing to saywhether you are or not. Fucky pay, woman, O complimenti es good Il E. Hey said I wasenous UCKthat guy! That's Arahment. Now I have to live up to a reputation that heverse thatee Onk, you genius. No I'm offended from your racisgeomicn machinos remark: Wol Jar. You say: I'm smart, dare you I'm more than just smart? How Dar you now the aliens will knowwhere to come. For me, I have to hide that I have a problem too, with my friendswho are like one way, and I accept me like this and you're like okay, fine and thenthey want to change and you got to go alon for the ride. All of a suddenthey're like Wel, I'm working out, and I'm I'm very I'm like okay. Well, younever fucking heard about that before and I was supposed to not care aboutthat before, but now that you care about that, am I supposed to still notcare about it or am I getting on the Caraban wagon and then, when youfucking go back to your old ways, then I don't care about it again. It's likefucking fuck, you Il leat. Your caw is your soout of thatbuilding right there, the Hasand Arih there and eat our call and getit byPiana. Look more MONP death by Piana the hells moving pianos.These days anyway, you wit Yor Holli death by piano, O the side, O Fuka Rod.Nobody wants a piano. I don't Fi im to ta my house. I know it's like. I thinkthey only ever bougt those up high enough like when they're moving them insome place, because they know they're going to break and they're going tokill someone. It was ike a dipe more al across thecountry that some genius dad mom, said Det little Johnni's going to be avirtuoso and he's like. I would rather be a crack, addict, Mim and now thePano just sits there and, and he and he's trying to think of how he can hawkit to buy drugs. Those things are not very portable. No, as ti O aout thewindow, you know I was balconing. I Di Teing, mom and dad's Piao o get somecrack money. I need some crack ause. I need to die agood way. I rod like Johny didn't make the honeyhe didn't make it ode. Had A heard attack wer. She Am Piano to get crack, that's what happened! Theon AST IG andlet ou three Yao less pick up. I probably could have a dozen or more H,fucking free pianos at this point. No, that I play the pianos. That'sanother thing: a piano collector theawill have pianos in their homesthat little johnny gave up on decades ago. You know now it's just coveredwith fucking pictures and shirt anddust. It's like grandma's, Crosislgrana,ajust, Ike, grandma's, crutch cover with dust and family foods. Like the coiners of her mid wwhich. We kept in a box over here,WWEHA airaise. There's, always somebody here like whowho died some tragic way, and you know they were eaten by badgersafter the accidentally rolled in of that honey, and you make a joke aboutthat. Some out of the BLU like happen to Mehappine,I my family, fuck Yoi. You know I. I was tragically malled by badgerafterfalling in amount of hontys she'll fuck..., the comed sucks like this guy over here on them, theirridiowaves Ye Ber. Talking about my Grandpa, you got moled death by Badger,my grandmother, electric cuherself and one of the first dildos. So I don'tappreciate your electric cusion Dil to jokes tat. I donow so cant, ECANTT alike, R,Long Bugwe're, Gong, Busicul, Nexi Gon, you to tell me no Schrist, God we suckon our own together, togehthat poor Guy Yo ow. They nail that Foor Goy toacross and now he's like. Look. If you don't go out and sin, then I die fornothing right right. Would you want to be good all your life?That's like the oldmatee! There go to heaven, which is a great idea, but let's face it. Everyone's idea of Heavenis a littleDIFFERENC and most people are going to get up there and not be fucking happy.I know they're not nhappy on earth how the hol are they going to be happy, OHae, nothing to do cracs, Heorr or Los with the sae Jesuscrase Lok a seem fucking stars come out at night, God, Dammi Goin, aboutalnactor ngold paved road, not a damn virgin.Ell say you know 'cause this guys that strappedthe Bombs Oi told th. There's e virgins waiting for the Hurgin oeones Don n hell, but you godown there and you come back em but Youot have a dick. Exactly you know,'cause you! You die with a booner, so you had. It saw off. That's what happend sat off onor that',then Gota call them after that. Rigtwa te hell, Ike a bag all day oheow, oh o, Ar Rolg funkinghouse shut up ironic didn go was a Bilo in your eye, Ismaty Ironic, joke Yo, just Didyou, you didn't and that's what this week's epersudewas all about: o Goin to go to the Izel Tower and fallby accidenthey he's looking over t er e Co, Wa, O Lik, let I I fell up the sad Jesus Cri. I love how it's my accidentnood Qt Haan.I fell. He just feltall the tape. He we upthethers tail Sr. Everything is on t I every you're going down on desro another angle, TAT's e Closup, here she's smiling and laughing, andnow Shesa Sslat, here's the close up. They we're going to play it back inslow motion now backwards. She said she's aloneshe's, dad she's alive. She Imagine Goin Ge, you Bi and then Blam Rubet Ma aneverything. No, she never got arounda changeitw. Go dinit Yo' hear her for nothing. Damn theit's, okay, lady you're, goingto death row, Thasro Tha as it there for the rest of Yol. You die from Borde,pretty much it's like heaven, Twe gotto workout, it's like heaven, but better. It's L,Ke yeah, food's, not so good. The the badsaren't so greet either. You know, don't drop the soup. I in rock musicians, thi well, no he'splaying in burn and rock an roll heavand. ' Like that, fucking guy, thata ell athere's no question about it. I was a rocker having bullshit, I Gobo, no, no OANODY, who dies of an overnose on thetoilettaint going to Heaven Lu my track record. I will sa I admired hem incertain respects. I remember watching a special were one of the guys from theMemphis mouth e was like. I remember it was one night t was me and Elvis andtwo other guys and three hundred women in the house and ilike Yo shouldn't have went out then ha it.I chickper Guy...

Te get lucky that night get the fuckout. O here ran anyowot, Elvis Everyone Ahay, oh that's yeah and then people l come and I like Em.Don't you want to go back ontohr again instead get out of Hollywood and likewhat Te Fuck are you henting me I'm in a palse and I got to inner women here.I I want to go on the road nooth. I gas on the street cornerpopular cities, Wa back O my mane one reune wine. That's the way to die. That should have been how we died. Thatshould yeah right on the toilet, but Kuchi yeah, three hundred guges T er,was almot. Seventy fifth, I grabb myself a peanut butter sandwichand Il hut down. I ontshould have had Jelly Althis you'r thinking, I'm just thinking about Thath, justthining about and all the GRANDMO to go. I thin Leychest. One of them hit takes too long. Let's listen, he aker has yeah CHEC Ganme. I indicate like you lost the chuckers.You Di no nonon, it's two out of three amsthe fuck hat I say was Yo, can get the hell up. They get thehell down there. It get down there, get down. Domin O! You can go to hell, you an squire Al!You want, but you can't have an organism go an going to have and allyour friends are down here. I go right. I always say it's like you know.Whenever I'm thinking about something or I'm about to do something, I'm likee, what the hell all my friends are going to Helt an might as well joint'em. You know family's HAVF, my family's there. I know it yeah exactlythine down there enwhat. If believe it in that Shit Yo're one of the other,fifty fucking thousand religions out there, we always got to worry about going toheaven. Oh brother, H, Yeahi Wono, like rum the earth like Pos, O e Bal, O fromthere running rr on the earth and just piss people off. You know gost anroaman again like taking people's alternator caps,and you know thei last role, I with e paper. I would I would be a ghostwearewhen you were washing the condition around of your hair H, Squirtingoreworryig yeah was what's going on D, Yo Wer, slipping it and died well, condiy at the beautiful hair whenhe died. I was so well condition coniton h and then he come back in thehouse. It's like welcome bitches. Let's do this N. have you ever seen the ghostyou have yes rsit at the Pale shoe store? Yes e San Y, the little boy! Yes in the summer'spoint store I've never seen the ghost, but I've haddreams. I A seen ghots and then iwuld wake up and see the ghost and then I'dwake up again. Oh Gosh, yes, ongos had no face. He was loas, crazy.Yeahi know I waswt Thehillar in Sao. I wonder if the categarize, that's howyou die like you're, all in those groups and cliques and everything I meet a Mo. I so go a no. Can At'sAwsom there to me my aunt. She did too right Wnto the family sockers over Hereo. That's my Plussi right over here and you, the guy with the Dil the Pineohit effor I making those Ascaladas Hol, another GuyWoll come up. Wee got some got a fire truck in hisass. Is that count? Should we categorize an I thinkwei thnthat's forthe sake of sopacity e're, going to have to have death by something up youras just be the Broadnon Mayeantaly? We can break it down topine apples and fire Druck Yo k, but right now I should just be death bysomething of your ise. Everybody come on over they've opened up the fuckingguideline. All right wit, something o you ask O. Yes, I do. Actually it was a wooden Bildo and Igot electrocuted with it. So that's a too for...

...oh, my Gosh, imagine thelife n ElectricDino getting electriccuted and then some of the bitch goes on fire andcleas Yor COLW and it's like O sh ceme cal em and I was dead already. So I Ididn't really notic might as well just tick a Romang candle, IANICEPILIA,Assholdo, yeah Driv a tolbus through there M I G S, fucking myself just got acoldand fire. I anything else. At that point I went o t Sio Arket SI somebodysaid to go fuck myself, so I did and Bam here. I am here. Yeah like the smell of burnt ass hair.That's got me. Grea aling aroundeadand, smelling forat. It probably smells likeregular hair, but I don't know. I think you can get iver as wine outfrass here smell different than regular Ihad, five thousand dollars and somebig lighters who's up for this challenge y. Themoney stefby igniting my eyes hair and then I unliligly farted and mywhole body just blew up. It was muntaneous combustion, but my family got twenty five hundreddollars whol. It was left over from the grant. I slightly Charg BICG Liers, you is it Youasa Grandfatheri you, thisstick Iger, you would hear and your like muckit smell s, funny like Bernasand you're like Osee. Oh, should I throw it away? No, if I gave it and keep thet forever man Foreverlabo.She go play Wer on the Ese and I'm Goh Shovit up my rea and die from at I goto Havit n BNA Gess Wev got we got later in the S Oka r, righback othe ground. That's the loophole, no master Bading, but assexis Firesexis perfectly fine. So in the Bible. Well, Ye Osayoo is something about this,but nothing about this. Actually, it does see there is a loophole in theBible and if you've ever seen, Garfehol andots the loophole, you would totally know that o y, Oh Youre, esolutely pool they willta you to o Pak thingshtwell. Somebody shoved the Bible of MIRLA IE FA. Show it up your Est. Okay, let's getthe loob come. Oh Goda, we got another one. Idied for me, anall trauma your ANCHR go with the fire truck in the bat movie ofthe Pine Apple. I'd be like I B Ik Jus be looking herm, my boys er, my Kinki bitches. Let's go o Kinkybitches like wow Shei ou. Now, Oh, I don't think I wantna do that. Come on and get crucified, it's awesome.Do It yittle Bitch Domagine, O sorr Jesus. Igot shut to shove up my arn. I got you to do really Omi you gotto leave me Hay. W Hag Olleve me: Hey we're going to hell for this Foroihou for Wha Jesus Ho he's as crazy. He was hanging there. HiDhis best mother bout, Tis walk away, so he dude. Don't leave me EOIT's, oneof e Pech and I he was a hippy. His best friend was a horror. So whatthe Hell I'm sure he got kinky with it y Hey, had a twin Hou knew nothing aboutSan. My favorite part was when he was alittle kid and he started like fucking with everybody like 'cause. He had Oh onipotence and andmagical powers and what kid wouldn't fuck with other kids who had that, like?Oh, that's a nice clay bird you made billi. Let me bring it to life and billys like go money, youkilling ecause. It's actually is the preakylittle fucking clay, Birdy Mal, birdus...'re, like hey, I hear you pischJesus off the other day. Well, yeah. I told me O and Yoo Yeah Jes just killed him Hay. We should talk about Jesus, likethat. I je he's like a little boy he's like atwilight. Zoneright Hewas like Damiad from the omen. You woul worship me. Yes,weyes. We Will Litte WORSHIPP me, I'm only eight yearsold, but I can make people back Oliinem. Oh my God do green grandma back. I woild do anything. You say as long asthat: BITC stays in the ground all riaht then hand me that wood, I goin toturn it into winand. Look an the yard, an started he's only eight buckingyears old he's not watere. T wine, Hes Sik rank back then drm. This EIG, I'mtalking, waever hat something ranki. I Sur iswaterinto s o Ao man uhave some more you're talking to someone that knowszip about the Bible and has never been baptized so yeah. I'm I make up shit as I goso he en hewas Inonhe Oderinto Houi body like Jesus Clean, your room I' like fuck,you you're, not my real DADD, awegone Electri. Turn me back from a pillarsawplay you proused not to make me clean my room: Oh Ere, you, my vegetables, oh par onwrong. Those are some fun time, a as lickingJoseph 'cause he's a fucking pillar. So it's a camel nick its COA ES to bringthem back to life n. He Os have a schmuck anymore, ICAN candle lict itoff. While he was still Solk, it alow my name, the little bastards that could, like I said, werifting on him, he'd be like HeyTaerae, Yel, drink that beer and smoke that joint 'cause. I know I would if I were go afock alive exactly why? Don't you make the guy immortalinstead of killing them for our sins? Make Hem live forever. That'd be that'd,be Abe, a way to to die for us and it's like you're, never goingto die like Ohohh, tain wors. I think if he was alibrary now he wouldoft himself it wouldblike. You know what I'm Ding, uper, no oin, nogoinginrall gone happens. Now, he's Goine back yous past Ahyeah got alawyer. An this has been one hell of an episode Af to end on there. I think we're justabout Oll of the time just outas about Alaton Ely. We don't mean we're goingto die. Not Today. Time is up. We hope. Wou GotChoslis to this shit. Storm yes and tune in next me to another episode. I'mBEATIANDI'M LEBES.

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