Beauty and the Beast
Beauty and the Beast

Episode 56 · 5 months ago

Beauty's Bits S2:E8 - Sploosh Vol 1


Beauty's Bits S2:E8 - Sploosh Vol 1

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M H M, coming to you almost live from lake side. Hello everyone, welcome back to the beauty and the B show. I'm beauty and this is what we like to call a little segment called. Wait, this is what we like to call a little call. Okay, let's try this again.

I just recorded this. I forgot to use the fucking sound. Isn't like fucking fantastic? By the way, this is rated our show. So this is a little bit that we like to call beauty spits. That's with a bean, not with the tea. If you want to see these teas, you gotta go to only fans hell. Yeah, so hello you, not gobblers, Taco liquors and sperm burping gutters. Let's well, let's get back to basics. BITCHES is ready to get all up, get all splushy open here. Oh Yeah, Goddamn, I missed doing comedy as Strip club. I missed my wet floor sign. I'll never have another like you, but anyway, it's like I've come prepared here. I've got my balls, Ben Wild balls, that is who. Yeah, they're on the inside, but actually no, I do have balls. I wear them on my chest. I call them my chest calls hell yeah, so, all right, I'm not gonna beat around the Bush, mostly because I don't have one. First short of business. We must discuss this. Yes, last week I... my Dildo stuck to my shower wall. It's still there. It's like be jealous, though, be jealous, because this really, this really does suck. I mean that Suction Cups. Son of a bitch. I could do home improvements. If I want to rip down the shower, it would be perfect fucking timing. That's great. It holds up the loof of sponge and everything. It's Fan fucking testing. All right. So, Um, I said, you know when Dildo on the wall looks sad. Okay, if you're wondering, some people might be wondering. Dildo, Dildo, doesn't they have? Don't they have vibrators? No, dildos are the ones that don't vibrate. vibrators are the ones that vibrate. So yeah, okay. So, anyway, back to the DILDO on the wall. So it just looks so fucking sad. Don't get me wrong again. It's holding up the LOOFUC point nicely. I get it. Okay, so I went to the store and I got all sorts of different dildos, different shapes, color, shot sizes, because why the funk not right? So and I put them up all on my shower wall. So now I have a Nice Dick Climbing Wall. It's great. It's like, finally I can do my exercise and...

...get off all at the same time. It's Fan fucking tasting, all right. Uh, that was what I like to say. Um, I also get to get clean too. Gotta throw some soap in there right. But that, my friends, is what I call multitasking. Yes, it's like multiple orgasms and getting shipped done. Speaking of getting shipped done, okay, the other night I was getting down with it, and we all know what I mean by getting down right. I was masturbating, of course I was. What the hell else is there to do? But I realized something. Right, okay, my my legs are back, my knees are by my ears. That's right, I'm double jointed and Um, like tickled myself somehow, right, and I started orgasming and I was splooshing, I was loshing like old faithful was coming like right up and everything. It was so fucking funny, all right, and it made me laugh and I turned in one of those sprinklers that we had as a kid, like the wacky arms going...

...everywhere, like splosh, like sucking everywhere. That's why I like to get to a hotel and sucking, messy as hell, but it's like holy sploush balls, you know, it was just so fucking it was fantastic, though. What what one hell of an orgasm. There you go, one hell of an orgasm. Got It there alright. But time to get down to some serious business. Are you ready? I'm ready for some serious business. So, ladies, does your snatch hang low? Does it wobble to and fro? Can you tie it in and not? Can you tie it in a bow? Can you toss it over your shoulder like a continental soldier? Does your TAT hang low? No, man, I haven't forgotten about you either, and you know who you are, because you're the men that your balls have dipped into that cold as toilet water. But check it out, guys, keegles are for you. He has men, women, everyone, everyone. Keegles are for everyone. But Lady, you know we gotta get the those public floor muscles going. You know, we got tightened up that...

...tighten up that Twat. I got so excited I couldn't even say the word Twat. Actually it's Twat, but if I'm English it's TWAT. I don't know why the funk we fux things up in America. So, I mean, I've come to terms with, you know, talking my boobs and my waistband. You know gravity is gonna sunk that up, but I sure as hell I'm not talking my vagina into my shoes. No fucking way. Okay, but always remember, keep on the front, never in the back. If you keep on the back door shut, you're gonna have a bad time and it takes some time to revive that big brown eye. I know this from experience. All right. So you've been listening to me, Rambo, long I have been beauty. This has been beauty's bits. I am over and out. June in next time you have on the Leve ww that ide and showed dot COM.

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