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Beauty and the Beast
Beauty and the Beast

Episode 55 · 4 months ago

Beauty and the Beast S3:E8 Beast - The Beast Parts 420 Revisited

ABOUT THIS EPISODE

Beauty and the Beast S3:E8 Beast - The Beast Parts 420 Revisited   

It's 420 somewhere bitches!  

Welcome to the Beauty and the Beast Show! Beauty and the Beast is a show with comedian, Kristine Knowlton (Beauty) and comedian Mark Hills (Beast) coming together to make and create a show about nothing and everything in between! Please sit back and enjoy some of their best comedic diarrhea! Disclaimer: For best results play the whole show backwards with the sound completely turned off. 

Feel free to drop them some hate mail at beautyandthebeastshow69@gmail.com  

Find Us: www.beautyandthebeastshow.com

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Yeah, coming to you almost live from lake side. Hello everyone, and welcome back to another episode of the beauty and the B show. I'm Christine, I'm beauty. Hell Yeah, bitches. Yes, this is also a rated our show. This is a great show to catch up on your comedic diarrhea. That is correct. And you know what the universe? Um, the universe isn't being so nice right now. No, no, no, no, no, no, it's saying, uh, let me funk you in the ask without any lube. Okay, that's where the universe is today. But guess what, we have a special tree. You know, this is going out for beasts. Beast is so amazingly talented and everything, like God damn it, I need to catch up with him so much. Um. Yeah, this is gonna be his episode. We are going to show the four twenty edition on Beast Bits. So sit back, relax. It's four twenty somewhere. So, Goddamn it, smoke it up if you got them go. It's four twenty, bitches. WHOA, Ladies and gentlemen, and you know who you are, to the year of good, the spoke, the calm, the cream, the beast and beauty Han the air, the best calmty team and the whole white fucking world beauty and to the beast, beauty and the beast, the chesyst of shows. Come me, Dick Dia read, and the ship just over flows. Someone get a mob you may not be seated. Lessons of the Algorithm to you. And now a word from our sponsors. Take it away, sponsors. Harry Loves Harriet is...

New Jersey's leading sex shop and Corno EMPORIA and the exclusive distributors of beauty and the B show product like guerrilla go bucket of spluge and our latest offering, vibrating fannie pack. But wait, there's more. New from beauty and the B show. Patent Pending veggie handler fruits and veggies. If you've got them, why not stick them in your bottom? Comes in three sizes to accommodate everything from corn cobs and cucumbers to eggplants and pineapples. Simply clip on the patent pending veggie handle, secure the water resistant Belco straps and extend the built in stainless steel spikes switch the push of a button. Caution, do not used for torture device or cockering. Guaranteed gluten free and made with recyclable materials. Purchase regular or the deluxe vibrating addition, because everything's better when it vibrates. Fruits and Veggies, even candles, are better with the patent pending veggie handle. So that Harry loves. Harriet's sex shop and corner emporium makes a great mother's Day gift. New from the LEMO. They'll make you flip. They're really hip. They're hipster GNOMES. More fun and flannel then you can handle. Simply add water and hipster gnomes grow to ten times their original size. Then the fun really begins. Take your beard color, add secondhand pants, a graphic t a flannel shirt and matching hat, Sunglass, his watch, and don't forget the Doc Martin's now at a record player, a Polaroid Camera, starbucks and I'll post her a Che Guavara, full on Hipster GNOME. Fact, happy homes need hipster GNOMES, guaranteed gluten free new from BLAMO. This goes out to beauty and all the Jersey girls. Jersey girl, Jersey girl, don't lie to me. Tell me where did you sleep last night? And the Pines, in the Pines Whay, rain and Moonshine and...

...we smoke from a cool COB pipe. Well, I made you at the Jerky showing then a Spang to you like a little hole, I guess it did. And then I spank your mom and we all smoke the bone and it drank to the brain of dawn. A Jersey girl, Jersey girl, don't lie to me. Tell me why did you drink Oh, my beer, and you spend on my cash and you smoked my stash and now you leaveing me here. Jersey girl, Jersey girl, you don't lovely. Ever since you hit the lottery, you hit the bow ball and I I hit the bone. Now I'm drunk in thissery. Jersey girl, jersy girl, where, well, I go about a million miles from here. I'm alone in the dark and as Very Party since rob that bang last year. Jersey girl, Jersey girl, please take me back, even though it might give me a heart attack. Will I'll do what you will and on Netflix and chill. Will you everythingle night. Let me drive your yacht. Oh, Jersey girl, Jersey girl, where will I go? I'm going where the cold winds blow in the Pines, in the pines where the sun do the shun and the cops are after me. Oh my God, Jersey girl, please save me back. I know you hit the lottery, that's not why I love you, baby, Jersey girl. Failed Nation Concerts presents the concert...

...event of the century. It's the Fab four like you've never seen them before. The Beatles, but their robots. Store animatronic perfection and state of the art software make them better than the originals. But wait, there's more. Also appearing at select locations, Ringo Star, and it was all star robot band featuring the how nine thousand chuck e cheese gave role and R two D two. Tickets on sale now at all failed nation concert locations. The fab four like never before. The Beatles, but their robots. Tour so happy the year of Goo from beauty and the beast show, the best show on the planet, the best comedy team in the whole wide fucking world. That's right, you heard it here first and you'll hear it here last. Now. Once upon a time, before twitch and the wonderful intro Webs, if you wanted to get horny with a Freaky Lady, you had to call an eight hundred number and use a credit card for ninety nine cents a minute. That's right. I want to hypnotize you, baby. I want to telephone so many times to Phot your house just to hear the tone, and even though there's no one home, I don't mind so much because I'm so low. I want to hympnotize your baby on the telephone. But that's not how it is anymore. There are tons of girls available for you to Ogle. Maybe you want to check one out on a free Webcam. Maybe you want to check one out on a hot Tup stream. Maybe you want to subscribe. That's right. Well, I'M gonna dedicate this to beauty, who's on ever a social platform. UN The man, she's even on some they haven't invented yet. I want to compensate your baby. Do you take then mode? If I subscribe to you, how will you go this cash you have...

...made you cream. I'll send you all my bits on your twitch scream. I want accompensate you, baby. Do you take Venmo? Well, do ye. I want him to be the only man on your only fans. I'll fill your tip cat jab every single time that I can. I may all your dreams come true, all about you, everything, everything on your wish list. Two, I want accompensate your baby and do you take Venmo? I love to watch your twitch Dream Baby, all the games you play like pinball. I watch your TIKTOK ten. I'm all times a day and if I send you on my doe, I don't mind so much because I'm so alone. All the compensate your baby. Do you take Venmo? It has been called the slap herd around the world, but Chris Rock didn't mind. What's his secret? Is it his comedy career, his celebrity status, his sixty million dollars? What's Chris Scott, that you haven't got bitch slap insurance from the ball stack agency providing insurance against unprovoked bitch slap since nineteen for as little as a month, you're entitled to compensation if you are the victim of a bitch slap. Joined the many celebrities who don't give a ship if they get hit. Bitch slap insurance from the ball stacking agency, an official sponsor, Oh beauty of the B show. Yes, yes, yes, my guitar never in tune, but what it lacks in tuning I make up for with unbridled enthusiasm. Don't you think so? This is the four twenties show, and one of the things that beauty and the beasts have been doing lately is appearing regularly on twitch dot TV. That's right, if you haven't...

...checked out cat box comedy on twitch, check it out soon. The multi talented beauty, a k a Christine Nolton, is there to entertain you mornings because of her busy schedule. Mean while, speaking of busy schedules, it is the forward twenty edition and we just want to want to sing a little song about it. Well, I got a need. I need to smoke some weed, but all I got it stems in seas. Got The need for Weed Blues. If I had a Roacho two, I would smoke them with you, but I haven't got a clue. Just a need for Wat Blues. Was A huh. The need the weed lose to do that. Even smoke some ragweed orsome home grown. If I had a time machine, I'd hang out on Bob Marley scene. Let me tell you something. I'd love to smoke with will of Newson and if I had my way, I'd smoke every dirty but oh, I got stems and seas and a need for wheat. The need for wheat bruise, the need for Wheat Blues, Needful Wee Blues. Oh Yeah, you know what I mean. Maybe you don't. I don't know. Recreation is legal now in Jersey, so why don't you come on by? You can buy me some weed and I'll make you a pizza pack, because that's what we do in Jersey. Kathan, need for Wid Blue, whose guests of beauty and the beast show? Stay at the magnificent days in downtown Absecon, just miles from the world famous Atlantic City Boardwalk and exit of the Garden State Parkway, and join your by shopping at major retail chains like home depot and dollar general, and fine dining at McDonald's and dairy. Days in APPSECON offers great views of absecon Bay, the Atlantic...

City skyline and everyone's favorite seagulls. Continental breakfast is served Monday through Friday and on site dry cleaning is available. Don't forget to ask about our free airport shuttle leaving hourly, special discount rates for senior citizens, Bachelorette parties and members of the hundred and seventy seven fighter wing. Days in downtown APP Secon, treating you like a tourist since nineteen eight. Wait, you're still here. What the funk that was like the end of the show? God Damn it. Did you enjoy peace for hell? Yeah, he definitely needs to make some more for stuff, but you know, that is a special occasion, so it'll be coming back and around. Trust me, we'll do more stuff with weed, I promise. What's end'll here. Let's end with a fucking song. Am I right? Let's go with hello mother, hello father. I know it's Hello Moa, hello father. It's weird saying that. You know what, maybe I'll free VAMPA. Anyway, here we go right, hello mother, hello father. I've been smoking marijuana. Indica is good, Sativa's better. I'm so soon I could hardly write this letter. Leaves of green, summedables. I'm in love with marijuana. That's the whole theme here, isn't it? The joints are good, but bones are better. Why is that Moose over there wearing my green sweater? Feeling relaxed, feeling great? I've been smoking marijuana. Chris is good, but wheat is better. They're the same thing. I'M gonna go make myself a double decker. Oh yeah, getting Munchie's feeling Horny I'm in love with Little Debbie Swiss rolls. Masturbation is a dream. Oh, I ended up with two kinds of cream. That is a true story right there. Anyway, get back the smoking. Eyes are glazing. I'm in love with you, guess it. Marijuana high, like trying something new. There's a goddamn string based off of gorilla glue. GOT PUT A P S A right here. Do not use gorilla glue as Lube unless you won't be stuck to your partner. Remember, it's rock paper SCISSORING, not rock paper SCISSORING gorilla glue. No, all right, here you, how the funk do high end this song? It's been going on now for way too long. Back to smoking, back to baking.

I Love Smoking, you guess it, bitches. Marijuana, my boon is mighty, mighty plenty. Let us all get together and sell a bright for twenty, which is everyday. bitches. Check your clock. It comes around twice. The song is done. The song is over. I'll keep smoking marijuana. Back up bull or roll one time. That's all for me now, as I say good night, good night, bitches. You don't have to stay here, but you can't stay here, damn it can I sunk that up again. You can't stay here, but you don't have to go home. You don't have to go home, but you can't stay here. I'll fuck it. I'm out. Enjoy the rest of the fucking show. Wait, those, it my bad, I'm out. I've Been Christine Norton, I've been beauty. Tune in next week. Check us up on the web. A dogy W W dot Gideons, the best show DOT COM M.

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